


Walls We Build

by Katergator



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: College, F/M, It just keeps going, It was also supposed to just be cute and fluffy, Modern AU, all consensual, also eventual romance scenes, and then suddenly the angst plot bus ran me over, anyway have some sasstrid and snarkcup, slight warnings for bullying and violence, this was supposed to be THREE chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-03-27 06:50:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 98,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13875468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katergator/pseuds/Katergator
Summary: Astrid's new next door neighbor is noisy and his cat is obnoxious. When she goes to confront him about his inconsiderate habits she discovers he's also extremely good looking. Once they stop all the yelling at each other they start an easy relationship, but she soon learns there's more to him than he's letting on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> So, this is my little modern AU, based on this prompt:  
> "You're my next door neighbor and you have an obnoxious cat that you're not supposed to have in your apartment. When I go to confront you about it, you're actually really hot. I promise not to tell the landlord about the cat if you let me come over to pet it whenever I want."  
> Sounded perfect for Hiccstrid with a heavy dose of Sasstrid and Snarkcup :)  
> This is being cross-posted from Tumblr and fanfic.net. I will work on getting all the chapters loaded here, but if you're interested in seeing more of this before I can post more chapters, check me out on either of those platforms. I'm “katergator” on fanfic.net and “katergator84” on Tumblr. I'm excited to break into A03, heard only good things and I hope you guys enjoy!

This was the last straw. She was furious.

A thump, the sound of something ceramic breaking, and a muffled groan of protest filtered through the paper thin walls of her apartment.

" _Aww, son of a- that was my favorite coffee cup, you useless animal."_

She pounded on the wall over the bed, like she had done several times a day for the past two weeks.

" _Great, now you've got us in trouble again. I saw that! Don't look at me like that, this is your fault."_

She would move her bed away from the adjoining wall if she could, but her furniture arrangement options were limited by the small room and the location of the door and closet. She flopped back against her pillow, growling in frustration.

Her idiot neighbor's cat, the one that technically isn't allowed in student housing, was making it impossible to study for her midterms. This ass clown moved in two short weeks ago and she was positive she'd never been so annoyed in her life. Their schedules didn't seem to match up; she hadn't even run into him getting the mail or in the parking lot, but she sure heard from him and his stupid cat enough at night. He stayed up and played music until two in the morning. Who even listens to Modest Mouse anymore? Her neighbor did. At annoyingly loud levels while she was trying to study or sleep.

It was just another infraction committed in a long list of grievances she had. He clomped around his apartment with an odd gait, unlike anyone she had ever heard. His _useless animal_ knocked things over all the time with that annoying little cat trill. Or it would meow at three in the morning and she'd hear him stumble out of bed and scold it with biting sarcasm. His bed must be against the same wall as hers, because aside from the cat and the music the most annoying thing of all was when he brought a girl home and she heard _everything_ through the wall, right next to her. He wasn't loud but his lady friend was the vocal sort and she couldn't help pounding on the wall then, to her satisfaction causing an argument and breaking up whatever was happening in that room before she had to listen to it advance any further.

He was mad at her and she supposed she couldn't blame him. He slammed one angry fist on her wall, making her jump. He sighed then and left his room. It almost made her feel bad, but at the same time she really didn't need an almost front row seat to her already obnoxious neighbor getting laid.

" _Ahh, Bud! Bud, stop it! Those are my good brushes! Toothless stop chewing on them!"_

This kid, did he not even _see_ the irony in that statement? She couldn't take it anymore. She huffed out loud and scrambled off her bed, threw open her bedroom door and stomped through the living room.

Ruff was on the couch, eating popcorn and watching a movie with her twin brother.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna give the dude in the next apartment a piece of my mind," she said with a snarl.

"Really? Why?"

"Cause he's annoying and I hate him."

Ruff and Tuff raised their eyebrows but didn't stop her as she slammed their front door shut, making the questionable foundation of the apartment walls shake. Once faced with the door of the next unit she raised her fist and banged on it rapidly. She heard an undignified clamor as its occupant hastened to answer.

The person who whipped open the door was not what she was expecting.

The first thing she noticed were green, green eyes. Then a five o'clock shadow of scruff he had neglected to shave for a day or two, perfectly messy rolled out of bed hair that maybe was just overdue for a haircut. Her eyes widened and he had a look of complete confusion on his face. He glanced past her down the hall both ways, noting she was alone.

"Can I help you?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders minutely, and she was struck with the kindness in his eyes and expression.

"Why haven't I ever seen you getting mail?" she demanded, then closed her eyes in exasperation with herself. His unexpected good looks threw off her composure and stole some of the fire out of her would be rant.

"Excuse me?" he asked, even more perplexed.

"No, that's not why I- your dumb cat," she said, poking him in the chest, hard.

He looked down at her offending finger, sticking between his ribs. "Um, ow. Can you not?"

She removed her appendage. "You're not supposed to have a cat in here."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you the landlord?"

"Well, no," she faltered. "But your dumb ass cat keeps me from studying and it's not fair because you're not even supposed to have one!"

"Whoa, hey now, only I can call Toothless a dumb ass," he said.

"Oh, also that. What the hell kind of name is that? Who names their cat Toothless?"

"Almost all of his baby teeth fell out at the same time, so he didn't have any teeth when I got him from the shelter." He leaned against the door frame, nonchalant, which for some reason infuriated her even more. "Which apartment do you live in, exactly?"

"That one." She pointed.

His eyes narrowed and he straightened his posture. "Are you the one who keeps knocking on my bedroom wall? It's you, isn't it. I should've guessed with the way you assaulted my front door."

She growled and clenched her fists. "I wouldn't have to keep knocking if you didn't keep doing stupid noisy shit! You listen to your music so loud. Have you never heard of headphones?!"

"I didn't realize I had to use headphones in my own home," he said, his former blasé tone taking on a harder edge. "I also didn't realize I'm not allowed to have company in my own home either."

She had the grace to look slightly guilty. "I was trying to study and your girlfriend was really loud."

"Not my girlfriend."

"Cheating on your girlfriend? You're even more of an ass."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't have a girlfriend. And even if I did, I'm not a cheater."

"One night stand then, huh?" she said, crossing her arms and assessing him.

"Not that my love life is even remotely any of your business, but no. A- friend," he said cautiously. "And it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, so maybe I should thank you for stopping a mistake before it even started."

"Well, you're welcome then? I think? Whatever, this is beside the point. You need to keep it down. I have a lot of studying to do and I can't concentrate when you're stomping around in there and your dumb cat is meowing his head off in the middle of the night."

"Tell me something, are you always this uptight?"

"What?" she said, offended. "Listen, you are a horrible neighbor. Do you ever hear me at all? No. Because I'm quiet and considerate of others!"

"Well, yes, but you're not all that quiet when you're angrily knocking on my bedroom wall. And you're not very considerate interrupting my night by yelling at me on my front door."

"Ooooh, you! I'll tell the landlord you have a cat if you don't quiet down!" she threatened.

Toothless chose that moment to wind around his owner's legs as if he knew the crazy lady at the door was badmouthing him.

"Really? You'd kick out this sweet, innocent little guy?" he said, picking up the cat and presenting him to her.

She crossed her arms and shook her head. Admittedly, Toothless was a beautiful cat. His long haired coat was jet black and shiny. He had a large fluffy tail like a bottle brush and bright, intense green eyes. Just like his master.

"I'm more of a dog person."

"That's a shame."

"You were just calling him a useless animal twenty minutes ago."

"Affection," he said flatly, letting Toothless go as he squirmed to get down. "You heard that, huh?"

"Yes. I told you, I hear _everything_. This is why I'm so annoyed."

He had the gall to smirk at her. _Smirk_ at her! And the worst part is it made her heart flutter and her stomach filled with a hundred butterflies.

"So what's your name? If I'm going to be audibly observed by you for the unforeseeable future I'd at least like to know."

She resisted the urge to turn her nose up at him. "Astrid. And yours? So I can yell it at you through the wall instead of banging on it?"

"My friends call me Hiccup."

"We aren't friends." She gave him a funny look. "That's not your actual name, right?"

"Ah...a nick name."

She held out a hand, palm facing up. "Are you going to tell me your real name?"

"Nah, I don't think you've earned it."

She crinkled her nose. "Why do your friends call you Hiccup?"

"I used to get them a lot as a kid."

"Hmm," she said, looking him up and down. He was wearing a worn in t-shirt with the Berk University logo on the front, loose dark gray pajama pants, and white socks. She realized he was returning the favor, his eyes drifting down and she crossed her arms over her rather low cut white tank top, in which her navy blue bra showed through. She hadn't expected to leave her apartment this evening and clearly did not think about how her slouchy pastel blue pajama pants, the band rolled on her hips, let a bit of midriff peek out. She self consciously ran her hand over her messy braid. Ugh, her eye liner was probably smudged from rubbing her tired eyes. He looked back up at her face with a grin and she glowered at him.

"So what's your major? Must be something that leaves you with all this time to dick around in your apartment," she said haughtily, attempting to cover the fact she had checked him out, anxious he had sized her up just as much.

"Are we playing twenty questions or something? Why do you care?"

She frowned. "I don't know, I was just-"

"Graphic design. Believe me, I'm not dicking around in my apartment at night. I listen to music to help focus on my assignments. I didn't realize it was disturbing you. I'll turn it down next time."

His apology caught her off guard. "Thanks. I didn't mean to just assume..."

"You kinda did though. But you seem like you're a 'make assumptions now ask questions later' kind of girl. I get it."

"I am not," she insisted. "That's not very nice."

"You're not very nice," he retorted, lifting his hand and ticking off his points on his fingers. "You've been banging on my wall since I moved in here at every little tiny noise Toothless or I make, you literally cock-blocked me, and now you've shown up on my doorstep to interrogate me for some pretty personal information for absolutely no reason."

Her mouth hung open, sensibly chastised and she had the first inkling that she may have been a little over zealous.

"I, um..."

"I'm sorry works, you know. It's not that hard. I'm. Sooooorry," he said, in the snarkiest and most condescending voice she had ever heard. Even though he was being a sarcastic little jerk she knew it was sort of deserved. But, she also had an unhealthy dose of pride and his patronizing tone made her dig her heels in all the more.

The snarl was back on her face. "Well I am sorry. Sorry that some people get to just draw all day while others have very intensive and involved majors that require all of their free time to be taken up by studying. Which you're keeping me from, by the way, _again_."

His mouth dropped open and he raised his eyebrows shock. "I'm keeping- _I'm_ keeping _you_?! And did you seriously just reduce my major to 'drawing all day' like that's _easy_?"

His ire made her shift back onto her heel, but she stood her ground.

"Listen here, blondie. You're the one who showed up on my doorstep with your ridiculous attitude and false assumptions, and you're the one who's been keeping this conversation going. You're the one who's had me on edge for two weeks, wondering who the hell has such a huge stick up their ass they have to rap on my wall every time I so much as move a finger. And you're the one who came stomping over here, devaluing my work and threatening to have my cat removed from my home because you can't handle a little bit of stress. This is your problem, not mine."

She broke eye contact, rubbing her arm with the opposite hand and looked down. "I... um..."

"I'm sorry," he said with a sigh, rubbing a hand through his already messy hair. "That was uncalled for. Looks like both you and I are taking our frustrations out on each other. I shouldn't have yelled at you, but I've had a rough month. My roommate moved in with his girlfriend, leaving me with an apartment I couldn't afford on my own. I refuse to move in with someone I don't know and of course there's a shortage of people I'm willing to cohabitate with. So I had to transfer to this crappy student housing in the middle of the semester and gather up all my shit while trying to 'draw all day' and work twenty hours a week on top of it. The dog I've had for most of my childhood just died, and my last apartment allowed cats and I couldn't bear to get rid of Toothless too."

"I'm sorry," she said, sincerely contrite.

"Ah, so those words are capable of coming out of your mouth," he said.

"They are," she answered evenly. "But you're really trying my patience with your refusal to accept them, rough month or not."

"I accept your apology."

"Thank you. I'm sorry about your dog, I know that must be hard," she said, sympathetic.

"It is, thanks," he said, ducking his head. "So, now that you know my life story, what's yours? What's this major of yours that requires infinitely more time and effort than my slacker graphic design courses?"

She shook her head, feeling really low for how much she had berated him. "I'm a biology major, specializing in microbiology-"

"Do you want to come in?" he asked suddenly, cutting her off. "If we're actually going to talk civilly to one another it's sort of weird with you just standing out in the hallway."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not going to try anything, are you? You're not like, a serial rapist or anything?"

He held up his hands in a gesture of innocence. "On my honor, milady."

She snorted and a giggle escaped. "Milady? What'd you just come from a renaissance fair?"

"It was supposed to disarm you," he said with a charming grin. "I just don't want you to yell anymore."

"Hmm," she said suspiciously, brushing past him and entering his apartment.

"Sorry about the mess and the boxes everywhere," he said. "I'm slowly unpacking stuff in between my busy schedule."

"Don't worry about it," she said, glancing around. He didn't seem like a slob, but he wasn't a neat freak either. Boxes were stacked and hanging open in contained piles in his living room and kitchenette. His living room furniture was sparse, a beat up love-seat couch with a cheap coffee table and an old tube tv resting on an even cheaper tv stand. A Nintendo Gamecube and dvd player accessorized his tv and a soda can and an empty bowl decorated the coffee table. A little cat tower sat in the corner for Toothless.

A few dishes were in his sink, and every other surface was littered with paper and art supplies. Toothless trilled, brushing up against her legs and flicking his tail. He laughed. "I think he likes you. That's surprising, since normally he hides when people come over. And, you know, you sort of came over here to kick him out."

She made a face at him with a grin, although his comment wasn't undeserved.

The feline's flattering attention was short-lived when he stopped rubbing himself on her legs and went to sit by his food dish, meowing for attention.

"Yeah yeah bud, I'll feed you in a minute. You're so needy. Can't you see I have a girl over?"

Toothless didn't seem nearly as impressed and gave his owner a baleful look.

"Fine," he huffed. He opened a kitchen cabinet and grabbed a tin of tuna cat food. "This'll just take a second."

"Sure," she said, wandering after him, taking a curious look at his drawings scattered on the counter top. Already from just a glance she could tell he was very talented.

"So," he said, scooping out the food into the cat's bowl, "about that major?"

"Oh, yes," she said. "I've been studying microbiology. All my classes are super intense. It's an interesting field but anything in the science category requires so much intensive studying. The chemistry and advanced math classes alone are killer. I'm sorry if I've been on edge lately. As you know, midterms are coming up and I don't feel prepared and I just-"

"I get it. I'm sorry if Toothless and I contributed to your stress," he said, leaning on his right leg and shrugging.

"It really wasn't your fault. I was taking my frustrations out on you."

"Lucky me," he said with an easy grin.

"So, what does your major entail then? Obviously I have some misconceptions," she admitted. "I don't really know what art majors do."

"Well, every semester we work on building a master portfolio. Each class I take requires assignments that are submitted for it and every midterm and semester it's reviewed. They basically assess whether I'm good enough to continue on in the program. It doesn't sound as grueling as it actually is, I know, but believe me it's rough getting all your weaknesses dragged out every single review period. So I've been working extra hard on my assignment for Typography." He frowned. "Drawing may seem like it's easy, but it can take hours and hours to come up with the right composition, and then the time it takes to complete it, and sometimes you feel like you're never done with it. I'm up all hours of the night, often, trying to complete something so it's perfect, and it's never perfect. There's always something wrong with it... Being an artist means you have to have really tough skin and handle criticism over nearly everything you do."

"That does sound tough," she said sympathetically. "I'm really sorry for insinuating it wasn't."

"Nah, it's okay. Like I said, I'm used to criticism."

Something stirred inside her at that statement, like he wasn't talking about school, but since they only just met she let it slide.

"Well, I guess I can finish giving you the tour," he said, swinging his arms awkwardly. "This is a one-bedroom, so ah, there's the bedroom."

She peeked in. "Your wall does face mine. Your bed is right up against the same wall mine is."

"Really?" he said, amused. "Which way does your head face?"

"Same as yours." She blushed. Why was she blushing? "Wow, that's a really high-tech computer," she noted, an expensive looking Mac sitting atop an inexpensive computer desk.

"Yeah, kind of a necessity with my major. Either I have a computer for home use or I'd have to spend every waking moment of my free time in the computer labs at school. I don't need to know what four in the morning looks like on campus. I sort of sunk all my money into the computer and nothing else."

"Don't blame you," she said, turning to face him.

"Hey, do you want something? Like, I have soda or coffee. Or if you like drunk studying I have beer and I think some rum?-"

"What is this?" she asked abruptly.

He looked bewildered. "What is what?"

"What we're doing right now. Isn't this weird?"

"Um, I guess? I was just trying to be a good host? And then I made a joke. I kinda do that a lot."

"Sorry, I just don't know what I'm doing. I don't really make it a habit to wander into strange boys' apartments. Especially when I should be studying."

"Well, I don't really make it a habit to invite pretty girls who are furious with me into my apartment either, so there's that."

Her cheeks heated and she couldn't help the smile that came to her face. "Oh, um..."

He grinned. "I guess we're both in uncharted territory here?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

"Hey, if you need to get back to studying, by all means. I don't want to keep you. We can always... later... I mean. You know where I live." He shrugged. Then his face changed as he looked at something over her shoulder. " _Toothless!_ "

The cat in question was up on the counter, green eyes wide and innocent as he stared right at them and batted a paw at another coffee mug on the counter top. He grabbed her shoulders to move her, darting past and chasing the bratty cat down. "That'd be the second one today, you little ass."

She giggled and Toothless managed to look affronted, lazily licking a paw.

"Aww, I bet he just wants some attention, don't you?" she said, kneeling down and holding out her hand so Toothless could sniff it. He brushed down her arm and she gathered up the cat, sinking her hands into that soft shiny fur and scratching under his chin. Toothless melted into her arms and purred.

"Are you sure you're a dog person? You found his favorite spot," he said, smiling. "Wow, he really, really does like you."

"Of course he does," she cooed, giggling when Toothless presented his belly for more scratches. "He seems like a smart cat."

"More like a smart ass. So I guess this means you'll let me keep him?" he asked playfully.

"I suppose. But only if you let me come over and pet him every once in awhile."

"You've got yourself a deal," he said.

"Well," she said, standing up and brushing the cat hair off her hands. "I guess I better get back to studying."

"Yeah," he said, looking a little disappointed. "I've got stuff I should be doing too."

She started for the door.

"Hey, ah," he said, sounding nervous. She turned back to look at him. "You know, if you want, you could bring your books and hang out and study here for awhile. Once you stopped all the loud yelling you seem kinda nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know you. Or, I guess if tonight doesn't work some other time? My door's always open. I mean, not literally always open, I lock my door like a normal person because burglars but for you-"

A genuine smile broke out onto her face. "I'll think about it. It'd just be so I can keep an eye on you, you know. And smack your hand when you try to turn up your music."

He laughed. "If it makes you come back, I'll turn it up really loud, just for you."

"I've never met someone with this much sass. Are you always like this?"

"Oh man, we've only interacted for a half an hour. You don't even know."

"Great," she said, shaking her head with a grin.

"I'm an absolute treasure to be around, so say my friends."

"Is that why your roommate couldn't wait to move out?" she teased.

"Oh! Wow, ouch! Someone get me some ice for that burn," he said, gripping his chest. "Really, bringing up the roommate thing? Low blow, Astrid."

"I really should get back to studying," she said, trying to ignore the way her name rolled pleasantly off his tongue, and then she flushed because she started thinking about his tongue specifically. In certain places. Like her mouth. And- _time to go_.

"Sure," he grinned. "See you around."

She headed out the door, heart thumping in excitement and a little light headed. All of her studying and focus on her classes didn't leave much time for boys. He seemed nice, albeit that razor sharp wit. Ruff was constantly trying to get her to hang out and put herself out there more, but none of the usual beefcake empty-headed frat boys ever seemed to do it for her. Sure they were nice to look at but that was about it, as a proclivity for partying and hookup culture was their main identity and it was just about the exact opposite of hers.

Ruff perked up as she came through the door.  
"What took you so long? Did you murder him and have to hide the body?"

"No," she laughed. "The opposite, actually..."

Ruff's eyebrows rose. "Oh? Do tell, is he hot?"

The bright blush on her face was all Ruff needed.

"He is! Our neighbor's a hottie, huh? How come I've never seen him? I wanna see him!" Ruff started to get up and Astrid held out her hands frantically.

"Keep it down!" she insisted. "These walls are like rice paper, he can probably hear everything you're saying!"

"So? What happened then, did you guys just talk or?"

She gave Ruff a look. "What do you mean what happened. I yelled at him about his cat, he told me he's had a rough month, I was sympathetic and that was it." She looked away, chewing on her bottom lip. "He invited me to come back and study with him, though..."

"Ooooh! And you're going to go, right? Lookit you girl, gettin' some strange from the hottie next door instead of book learnin', go Astrid!"

"Oh my God, Ruff, I'm not going to do _that_ ," she said, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"Why not? Have some fun for once."

"I _just_ met him. Like, literally I've known him for half an hour."

"Um, hello? People go to parties and fuck strangers all the time."

"Yeah, people who don't mind waking up in the morning with a venereal disease."

"Not if you're safe about it. Do you need to borrow a condom?"

"Oh my God, no!"

"So you're not gonna make him wear one? You of all people? Even after you just lectured me about venereal diseases, miss microbiologist?"

" _Ruff_."

"Suit yourself then. Have fun being boring and responsible."

She pouted. "I thought you'd be proud of me for even considering going back to his apartment."

"It's definitely impressive for you. But you're still in here whining at me instead of cuddling up with Hottie McHotpants. Honestly, fuck him and then come talk to me."

"Jesus, Ruff."

"What are you doing still standing here? There's an attractive guy who actually offered to spend time with your beautiful nerdy ass. Go back over there!"

"Do you really think I should? Isn't it weird?"

"No! Go back over there now, before it's too late tonight."

She still hesitated.

"Now!" Ruff shouted, throwing a couch pillow at her.

She scampered into her bedroom and gathered up her notes, pens, and textbooks and shoved them all into her backpack. Then she darted into the bathroom, brushing her teeth and spraying on some fruity body spray. She grabbed her eyeliner and shadow to touch up her make up. A little pink lip gloss couldn't hurt. Her hands nervously fumbled for her stick of deodorant, definitely needed to reapply some more of that. She yanked out her hair tie and redid her braid so it was smooth and fell over her shoulder.

"Where's Tuff?" she asked, slinging the heavy bag up onto one shoulder as she rejoined Ruff in the living room.

"He went back to his place. Snot said they're getting a bunch of guys to come over and play beer pong."

She raised her eyebrows. "And you didn't go with him? You're the queen of beer pong."

"Oh I'm going, I was just being considerate. I didn't want to leave and lock my dearest roomie out of her apartment. Turns out I should've left, you would've had to spend the night with the boy next door."

"Oh! Right, keys," she said, grabbing them out of her purse. "Thanks, Ruff."

"Anytime, lady. Now go over there and make me proud."

"You know I'm not going to do anything, right?"

Ruff sighed. "You really should. Just this once, Astrid."

"Sincerity, from you?"

"Yes. You're all books and brain and you let that ass go to waste. I mean look at you. With that body you could get any guy you wanted, but you don't, you hole away and study like it's all that matters in life. _Live_ a little. This is college! You're supposed to make questionable decisions, discover yourself and all that shit. You only get these few years and then it's over."

"I'm _not_ having sex with a stranger," she said firmly.

"I'm not asking you to. But at least kiss him? Make out a little. Midterms aren't even next week, you have plenty of time to study. Blow off some steam with a cutie; all this stress isn't good for you."

"But-"

"When's the last time you made out?"

"Um..." She bit her lip and cast her eyes toward the ceiling.

"Oh my God you have to _think_ about it, it's been that long?!" Ruff said.

"I've been really busy!" she said defensively.

Ruff shook her head. "You mean getting busy- with your textbooks and notes. Pitiful. You need to go make out with that hot boy. Immediately. Like as soon as you get through his door."

"I can't just walk up and kiss him, that's ridiculous-"

"I can guarantee he won't mind."

"I'm not-"

"I _guarantee_ he won't mind."

Astrid huffed. "Fine. If the opportunity arises-"

"Which it totally will," Ruff prompted.

"I'll kiss him."

"And then make out."

"Don't push it."

"And accidentally get carried away, and then oops! Look at that, how'd you get inside me?"

" _Ruff_!" she shrieked, shoving her roommate in the shoulder.

"Go get yourself some strange, pretty lady; fives." Ruff held up her hand for her to slap, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"You're the most ridiculous best friend I never asked for."

"But you love me."

"I tolerate you. Don't you have a beer pong title to defend?"

The two parted ways in the hall, Ruff giving her a thumbs up as she stood nervously in front of his door. This time her knock was much more respectful.

The same calamitous hustling was heard before she was face to face with him again.

"Astrid?" he said, his expression lighting up. He glanced at her book bag.

She shrugged. "Ruff's going to a party and I'm all alone for the night. You offered, so I'm taking you up on it?"

"Yeah! Sure, come on in," he said, standing aside to let her through. She took a deep breath and smiled at him as she crossed the threshold.

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Is there a comfortable place where I can lay it all out?" Astrid asked, turning to glance at him. A strange look crossed Hiccup's face and she realized the nuance in that phrasing. "You know, my books and stuff. So I can _study_ ," she said hastily.

"Um, yeah! If you want to be in the same room as me you can have the bed. I have to work on the computer."

"Okay," she nodded. Her stomach flip flopped. _His bed_.

"Want anything to drink before we start?"

"Water will be fine."

"Sure," he said, reaching into his fridge and grabbing two bottles of water.

She tried to regulate her nervous breathing as he gestured to his bedroom.

"After you."

"Such a gentleman."

"Always," he said with a smirk, but she had the sense there was a bit of roguishness behind it.

"You just wanted to get me into your bed," she accused, eyes dancing.

"I was that transparent, huh? Can you blame me? Also it totally worked, so there's that."

"Just remember if you're a gentleman, I'm a lady, so don't be getting any ideas."

"Hey, I'm just here to work on my Typography assignment, I don't know what you're talking about."

He handed her the bottle of water with a huge grin. "Let me make the bed, so you have somewhere to sit."

He pulled his disheveled plain white sheets up to the pillows and straightened out the navy blue comforter so she had a clean surface to sprawl out on. She sat down and claimed the space with notes and books and he turned on the lamp beside his bed so she could see. She thanked him as he plopped into his computer chair, opening up Adobe InDesign.

It only took two minutes for her to realize she was never going to be able to concentrate on her notes. The soft motions and clicks of the mouse weren't distracting, but the user certainly was. She kept reading the same sentence over and over, not absorbing any of it. Instead she sneaked glances at the back of his head and his computer screen, trying to see the image he had created. She tapped her pencil on her open textbook page.

"So, what are you working on?" she asked, breaking the silence.

He twisted in his chair to glance at her.

"Oh, ah. We're supposed to take a word or phrase and morph the text into something that represents it. Like, take the word 'fish' and then make the letters into the shape of a fish. I mean, that's overly simplistic, but essentially the base of the assignment."

"So what are you doing with it then?"

"I have the word 'forest' and I'm trying out different compositions to see which one I like best."

"Can I see?" She leaned over his shoulder, placing her hands on her knees.

"Sure. This is the first one I have. It's too intricate."

"Oh, it's beautiful!" The word was nestled, almost hidden in a scene of willow trees, the letters making up the trunks and the branches arranged in pleasing patterns.

"Not very practical. No one could use this as a logo really."

"I suppose. I like it though."

"Thanks. This is the next one."

He parsed down the details of the willows into vector art, bold in one solid color of hunter green.

"That could totally be used as a logo," she said.

"Yeah, if that's what a client was going for," he agreed. "Here's the last one I'm still working on."

It was a mix of the two; he added some of the details back in and used three shades of green to differentiate the branches, letters, and the ground.

"I like that one the best," she said. "It's striking, but captures some of the pretty details from the first one."

"That's what I was thinking too. I'll probably turn this one in. Thanks for your advice."

"No problem," she said, straightening up. She meandered back to her perch on his bed, giving up on ever being able to concentrate. She was disappointed in herself, studying was the numero uno single most important thing she needed to do and here she was, in some cute guy's bedroom on pins and needles waiting for an opening to get busy.

She fiddled with her pencil. Ruff was right, it really had been a long time since she had some fun. It was a Friday night after all, it wasn't like her tests were tomorrow. Every other single person she knew was out partying right now. Well, everyone except for him.

She stole another glance at him. He was contemplating his logo on the screen, rubbing his chin in one hand.

"Ugh," he groaned, scrubbing his face with both hands. "Sometimes you get to that point where you just can't stare at it anymore. I have to take a break."

"Yeah, good idea," she said. "The words are swimming on the page." Never mind the fact the only studying she had gotten done was counting the freckles on the back of his neck while he worked.

She cleared off the bed, piling her notes and books in a neat stack on the floor.

He flopped down next to her, leaning his back against the wall.

"So, I take it you're not a fan of the music I listen to or you wouldn't be so adamant I turn it down. What do you like?"

"Oh, um," she said, deliberating. "I don't know. The radio?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "The radio? That's it? That doesn't answer anything. That's like asking what your favorite flavor of cake is and you answer 'birthday'," he laughed.

"Hey, shut up!" she said, giving his shoulder a light push.

"What radio station do you listen to then? Pop? Country? Rap? Classic rock? Death metal?"

"Oh yeah, definitely death metal. I mean, I'm hardcore, you don't even know."

"Okay, so the things I know about you are: you're lame and boring and study all the time instead of partying with your roommate, you don't handle stress very well, your favorite flavor of cake is birthday, and you like death metal," he teased.

"Oh, oh okay two can play at this game," she said, narrowing her eyes with a grin. "You have a spoiled cat named Toothless who ironically has all of his teeth, you probably have eardrum damage from listening to your music so loudly, you're just as lame and boring because you're also doing homework instead of partying on a Friday night, and you invite girls over to your apartment after knowing them for half an hour. Oh and also you're the sassiest person I've ever met, and that's including my roommate."

He nodded. "Yeah, sounds about right."

"You're ridiculous."

"You're the one who elected to spend time with me."

"You are not wrong, there."

Toothless jumped up onto the bed with a cat trill, purring and fluffing his tail into her face.

"Oh, hey buddy! Where have you been all night?" she said, sinking her fingers into his fur.

"He likes to nap in his little cat house thing in the living room. And then interrupt at the most inconvenient times."

"He's fine, he's not a pest at all," she said, cooing to Toothless. He ate up the attention, giving his owner the side eye.

"Yeah yeah, I see what you're doing," he muttered at the cat.

"Being adorable, that's what he's doing," she said, scratching under Toothless's chin. He rewarded her with a purr and rubbed up against her arms, ducking under her hands to be petted. "You're just a big sweetie."

"Yeah, until he's had enough and then scratches your arms all to hell."

"Oh, he wouldn't do that, would he," she said, cupping Toothless's face. He rumbled in his chest and crawled into her lap, turning around three times and kneading at her legs. He slipped his feet underneath himself and perched in her lap.

"I'm sorry I threatened to get him evicted," she said sincerely, running her hand over his back. "He's a really sweet cat."

"Sweet? Ha! I wish you would've come over to yell at me sooner," he said. "He's like a naughty kid, an angel for you and a total brat for me. Apparently you're the beast tamer."

"He knows he'll get a reaction out of you." She giggled. "He does it on purpose."

"Hell yeah he does it on purpose! He's my best little bud, but sometimes I think he acts like a dick just cause he knows he can."

As though Toothless knew he was being trash talked, he got up from her lap in a huff and jumped off the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, go pout in the living room. I'll give you a treat later, you fickle little monster."

"No wonder he scratches you!" she said.

"Nah, I tease him but he knows I love him to pieces. Enough about my fluffy roommate. You never answered my question. 'The radio' is a totally lame and unacceptable answer. What station do you turn it to? Smooth R&B? Classic 90s hits? Golden Oldies? Admit it, you totally listen to the oldies station."

"I think I can see where Toothless gets his attitude from."

"Whiny hipster music? Oh, don't tell me you only listen to underground stuff, like stuff no one's ever heard of because it's so not mainstream. Do you only own vinyls? Are you a closet hipster? We can't be friends."

"Not even close to a hipster. Seems to me you're the dick, not Toothless," she said, laughing. "I basically listen to mainstream. Like, whatever isn't country and popular. Not that country's bad, but it doesn't really do it for me."

"I guess I can accept that."

"It's better than Modest Mouse," she said, giving him a side eye and grinning.

"Oh! Honestly, I'm impressed you even know who they are. I have a slightly alternative off-beat taste in music, but I can listen to mainstream stuff too. My playlist range is pretty random."

"You really seem to like music, huh?"

"You don't?"

She shrugged, apathetic. "It's nice."

"Nice? That's all you have to say? Music is nice?"

"What's so wrong about that?"

"It's not wrong, I'm just shocked. Have you never connected with the lyrics or melody of a song?"

"I mean, sure I guess. I listen to music, I've just never thought about it too deeply before."

"But that's the thing. If you read the lyrics to songs a lot of them are like poetry. Adding in the musical element just makes them even more powerful."

"I'm not disagreeing with you. I understand why other people respond to music. I'm just saying I don't all that much," she said defensively.

"Crazy. What's it like walking around without a soul?"

"Just fine. I get stuff done."

"Apparently. Stuff like studying, huh?"

"Yeppers."

"I've never met someone who doesn't _get_ music."

"I don't see why it's such a big deal. Anyway, now that we have _that_ extremely important topic settled..."

"Trying your hand at the sarcasm, huh? Good, but not great. You still have a ways to go."

She bumped his shoulder with hers. "Maybe you should teach me."

"There's a lot of things I could teach you."

Butterflies burst into flight inside her belly. She raised her eyebrows. "That sounded like a double entendre, sir."

"It was meant to be one, milady."

"Look at you, totally shameless."

"You haven't run screaming yet."

"Don't give me a reason to," she said, shifting her body, inching closer to his face.

"Still a perfect gentleman," he said, holding his palms out.

"Well, I didn't say you had to be _completely_ perfect..." she said, voice dropping low.

"I feel like I should be playing Keith Sweat right now. How do you feel about classic 90s again?"

She leaned in, face tilted, so close she could see the smattering of fine freckles on the bridge of his nose and a little scar on his chin. "Do you always talk this much?"

"Nervous habit. You're- ah... um... you're very pretty-"

"Then do something about it," she said, barely above a whisper, dispelling her nerves with a surge of confidence over reducing that smart mouth to a babbling mess. Her lips were a breath away from his, daring him to make the first move.

He barely brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss, testing the waters. It had been so long even this feather light touch had a ripple effect throughout her limbs and a slinky shiver raced down her spine. He pulled back slightly like an apology, as if to give her a chance to push him away or rethink her situation, but she didn't let him escape for long.

She slid her hand around his neck, thankful he seemed to read her signals, dipping back in for another taste. The butterflies quelled as molten hot lava pooled in her stomach, dripping lower until she felt like she was burning from the inside, pulsing and wanting. It really had been _so_ long...

She tilted her head to get a better angle, fingers reaching up and gripping the collar of his shirt. The slow sensual movement of his lips set fire to her belly, but it wasn't going to be enough. She needed _more_.

She deepened the motion, hoping he clued in on her urgency. He sensed the change and parted his lips, she used the opportunity to brush her tongue against his bottom lip, and the whole dynamic shifted into one of need. He responded in kind, opening his mouth wider and that hot lava erupted when his tongue brushed against hers. He was considerate, taking care not to shove his entire tongue in her mouth like guys had in the past, but teasing, soft, caressing her mouth with talented strokes. If he was this good at kissing, where _else_ on her body could he put that tongue to good use-

She suppressed a moan at the thought of _that_. Just the idea was enough to spur her into action, gripping his collar again and laying back against his pillows, tugging him down with her. He settled next to her, taking care not to lay his entire weight against her and keeping his lower half a respectful distance, especially his legs. Even though she was grateful he seemed like a decent guy, she didn't exactly want respectful right now. She wanted to know what those narrow hips of his would feel like between hers and she found it hard to care if that was forward of her.

Instead of the bold move she really wanted to do, she bid her time and placed her hand on his side, molding her palm with the curve of his rib cage, walking her fingers up the front of his chest with her other hand.

He exhaled though his nose at her touch and she used her knee to caress his upper thigh. She felt his responding jolt and tremor in his arms. Curiosity gripped her, wondering if he was enjoying himself as much as she was. Shifting herself closer to him, she arched her hips and placed her right thigh between his legs, gliding up, just to see what he was working with. He was unable to contain his groan and he shuddered. She grinned against his mouth.

He was definitely enjoying this.

She edged her right leg under him, pushing her hips into him until he got the hint, settling on top of her like a puzzle piece fitting into place. She bent her knees and curled her legs around his waist. She sighed appreciatively, hands on his hips and pelvic bone nestled against certain things that felt way better than they should. If she weren't careful she might get carried away, although at this point if he went with her it didn't seem so bad.

The close proximity brought the scent of him with it, boyish with the hint of day old cologne, mostly gone but for just a trace. His bedding smelled the same, and she threaded her fingers into that mop of unruly hair, endeavoring to make it even messier.

Their kisses had become frantic and deconstructed by this time, the focus now on exploring the points of contact between their bodies rather than studying each other's kissing technique. So far his hands had strictly remained in safe platonic areas of her body, her sides, gripping her thighs, palm flat against the small of her back to arch her hips into his. She stifled a moan, this felt better than it ever had before and he managed to press into that specific little spot between her legs so perfectly she was seeing stars in her vision. His hand slid down to cup her backside and she tightened her grip on his hair.

He deviated from her mouth for the first time, kissing her cheek, the soft skin in front of her ear, sucking on the point where her jaw met her neck. The hand that had been appreciatively fondling her fleshier areas drifted up past her shoulder and tugged the hair tie off her braid. He raked through the plaits, loosening them so her tresses flowed free. His fingertips brushed against the back of her neck and she shivered at the faint reverent touch.

This time that clever hand had a much different destination in mind, and a particularly deep kiss distracted her while it landed on her side just below her breast. She knew this game however, and she traced her fingertips against his wrist and forearm, up and down, take the hint, jump in, it's fine. His hand inched a little higher, fingers brushing against the under-wire of her bra. She increased the pressure of her touch, nudging his arm and he smoothed his hand over her. He squeezed once and she grinned and pushed up into his palm, indicating his hesitance was unnecessary. He swirled a firm fingertip over the padding of her bra where her nipple resided underneath and she sucked in a breath through her nose. He broke away to peck kisses at the corner of her mouth, trailing down, placing a kiss atop the swell of her breast above the neckline of her tank.

He was talented at kissing and she discovered he was also just as gifted at necking. Lips traversed the column of her throat, the day old scruff on his chin scraping her delicate skin, making her tremble and quake all over. Light electric caresses with the tip of his tongue, using just enough saliva to make it slippery, but not wet or sloppy. One second he was breathing cool against her slick skin, the next his mouth was solid against the base of her neck, sucking hard. Her entire body went taught, arching into him, fingers and toes curling and she gasped next to his ear. The air was chilly when he pulled away and checked his handiwork, a patch of light red blooming on her skin.

Oh, he _marked_ her, she twisted her hands into his shirt and clenched her thighs around him, pressing her mouth firmly to his.

She contemplated going against every rational thought she had ever had and taking Ruff's advice for once, throwing caution to the wind and letting this stranger work his magic on her. This wasn't high school anymore, right? It wasn't like she didn't have prior experience. She just normally reserved this for a relationship.

She wanted to give in to temptation, she really did, but her rational side clawed its way to the forefront and halted everything in its tracks.

"Hey, um," she said, breaking away from his mouth and panting. "I just want you to know, I don't usually do this. I mean I'm having fun but I'm also not going to, you know, go any further than this-"

"Oh, no I don't expect you to, don't worry," he said, voice low and husky, placing little kisses along her neck, licking the mark decorating her pale skin. "I don't... really do this either."

"Lying to me already?" she teased him. "I have evidence to the contrary."

He flushed, embarrassed. "Okay, I meant with girls I've just met. She was- is- um... a friend."

She had the sense that particular relationship was something complicated. She squirmed beneath him. "Am I, um, intruding? I don't want to mess anything up-"

"No, no," he said, quick to reassure. "That was... like I said, that was a mistake. I'm glad it didn't happen. And it's not going to happen."

She looked down and toward his door. "Okay."

He rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, I guess that's kind of... a mess. I'm sorry, I didn't want to involve you in that."

"I sort of made myself be involved when I caused that fight."

"Which, once again, turned out to be a good thing."

She shrugged, looking sheepish and awkward. She straightened out her legs, rubbing her feet down the length of his, toying with the fabric of his sweatpants and feeling along the muscle of his calf. He jerked his left leg and she frowned when her toes caught on hard plastic. He straightened his arms and hovered over her, looking spooked.

"Sorry," he said quickly, wincing as she sputtered out her own apology.

"I didn't mean to- are you okay? Was that-"

"Yeah, I um... _Shit_. Sorry-"

He rolled off of her, casting an arm over his eyes. She sat up.

"Do you wear a leg brace?" she asked curiously. "Is that why you walk with a slight limp? I mean it's not that noticeable, don't worry, but I've been listening to you walk around for two weeks and it's just- "

He heaved a sigh. "It's okay. It's not a brace."

"No?"

"I guess you might as well know. I have a prosthetic."

" _Oh_..." she said, shifting her gaze to his leg. Her stomach twisted, not from fear or repulsion but simply the startling realization that he was missing a body part most people had intact and she couldn't contain the natural wonder at how that came to be. She didn't want to offend him, but she didn't have any first hand experience interacting on a personal level with someone with a disability. Curiosity won over tact.

"Can I ask how it happened? You're just so young. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

He removed the arm from his eyes and rubbed it through his shaggy bangs.

"Ah, car accident. When I was sixteen. Drunk driver T-boned me from the side, near the front wheel. They had to use the Jaws of Life to extract me. Car was totaled."

"Oh, God," she said, touching his arm tenderly.

"Yeah. They just... couldn't save it. I was lucky to be alive, if he had hit any farther down on the driver's side door I wouldn't be talking to you right now."

"I can't even imagine."

"Yeah, it was ah, pretty crazy. Thankfully I don't... remember most of it."

She frowned. He avoided her gaze, eyes barely open and staring at the wall. She imagined this subject was hard for him to talk about, especially to a girl he had officially known for a few hours, but they did just spend the last sixty minutes getting intimately acquainted with each other's mouths. None of her actions so far warranted his skittishness.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry about what happened to you." She placed her hand on his shoulder more firmly.

He glanced at her. "Look, I probably should've told you, but it's not something I go around advertising either, so if you want to leave now that you know, I'm not going to stop you."

She tilted her head. "Leave?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, if it freaks you out I get it."

She shook her head. "It doesn't freak me out."

He frowned at her. "You don't have to spare my feelings, I'm used to it-"

"I'm telling the truth, you're fine. I mean, it startled me at first of course, because I wasn't expecting it, but seriously. You're fine, don't worry about it."

He sat up, leaning his back against the wall and placing his elbows on his knees. She studied him, at how flighty he was acting. Now it made sense why he was conscientious that his leg didn't come into contact with her while they were making out. She assumed his gait was due to a brace, which is what made her sneakily go exploring with her toes in the first place. His body language suggested resignation, like he was waiting for her to screech in disgust and storm out for his deception.

It struck her that his behavior indicated he had been through this before.

"Hiccup? How have other girls reacted to this?"

"Ahh... not always favorably, to be honest."

"Did you seriously have a girl walk out on you after figuring it out?"

"Well, not exactly I guess. I've never had someone discover it in the moment, so this makes it doubly awkward. It's more, I had a shred of game, and then they'd figure out the leg and I no longer had any game."

She shook her head. "That's _horrible_. Dumb girls."

A small smile pulled at the corner of his lip. "Thanks."

"They don't know what they're missing," she said honestly.

"Okay, don't overdo it."

"No, seriously. You're the best kisser I've ever been with."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Honest."

"That's... you're just admitting that?"

"Why not?"

"Cause you're a girl and you're supposed to play all those mind games."

"I _hate_ playing games," she said, fiddling with a strand of her hair. "Sometimes I wish people were more straightforward and just say what they're thinking. Why waste so much time being stupid about all of it."

"Careful, you'll bring down all of society," he joked. "People don't like to put themselves out on the line."

"I guess."

"No one wants to just hand their heart out to everyone. That's a good way to get it broken."

"Well I know that. I just think people waste a lot of time instead of clearing the air and communicating, you know?"

"So is your way of communicating banging on your neighbor's wall?" he asked slyly, giving her a look.

"Hey!" she said, gently punching him in the bicep.

"Ow," he complained, mostly in jest.

"Maybe I should just bang my neighbor instead?"

"Excuse me?" he squeaked.

She winked. "I'm sorry, you set me up. I had to say it."

"I mean, I'm not saying no..." he said, teasing.

"See? Communication!"

He shook his head in disbelief. "How are you still here? You're... you, looking like that, and I'm me, some random guy with one leg. It doesn't make any sense."

"I think it makes perfect sense. You have a leg and a half, don't discount that. And you're not entirely random. I've been listening to you for two weeks, I probably know more about your habits than you even realize." She paused, then laughed at herself. "That doesn't sound creepy or stalkerish at all."

"Should I be concerned?" he asked, mirth in his voice. "I'm kidding. Honestly I'm shocked you came back."

"Why wouldn't I come back?"

"Because your first impression of me was a two week build up of annoyance over all those habits, you know, while you were not stalking me, culminating in you storming over to yell at me in person and threatening to have my cat evicted."

"I'm really sorry about that," she said genuinely. "You've been going through a rough time and I made it worse."

"Yeah, maybe. You definitely made up for it tonight, though."

She trailed a finger up his forearm. "I'm not done making it up to you."

"Still don't know what I did to deserve this."

"Your dumb cat was really obnoxious and you played your music too loud and then you turned out to be really hot."

"You think I'm hot?" he grinned.

"Nah, I make out with random dudes who disturb my beauty sleep at two in the morning all the time."

"Oh, well I'll never disturb your sleep again, if that's your secret for being so beautiful." His eyes widened at the same time as hers, and he blushed brilliantly, like he hadn't meant to speak that thought out loud.

She lightly balled her hands. "Beautiful? You think I'm beautiful?"

"Wow, did _not_ mean to let that one slip, but you said you appreciate honesty, so yes. You're very beautiful. I'm sure you already know that."

Her blush matched his. "Well, I guess. I mean, people say things. But no one's ever said it so sincerely before."

"Well I meant it."

"You're actually very sweet underneath all that sass," she said, leaning into him, drowsiness tugging at her eyelids.

"I can be sweet now and then, if I try really hard."

She scooted closer, resting her cheek against his collarbone and yawned. The exhaustion that had slowly been creeping up on her seemed to hit all at once, brought on by the satisfaction and contentment after being physically close with someone. "What time is it? It must be getting late."

He glanced at his alarm clock. "It's one thirty in the morning." He snorted. "Is it past your bedtime?"

She dug her fingers into his stomach, disappointed when he wasn't ticklish. "I stay up late studying a lot. But I prefer to do it in quiet solitude, without boys blasting their annoying music."

"Seriously?"

"Oh I'm never going to let that one- go-" she said, the last word of her sentence lost in another yawn. "It's been a long day, I guess." Her eyes drooped closed without her permission. She felt warm, cozy and relaxed. His arm slid around her waist, fingertips drawing idly across the skin of her lower back peeking out from between her sweat pants and tank top. She hummed, his action strangely intimate for their situation, but she couldn't find it in herself to care and she gripped his shirt, cuddling into him. It didn't take long before she was out.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Warmth and weight were the first things Astrid noticed when consciousness returned to her. Sunlight filtered through the blinds, shimmering off flecks of dust in the air. She had a moment of panicky disorientation, taking her a second or two to recall why she wasn't in her room and in her own bed on a weekend. A moment later she recognized the masculine arm wrapped around her waist securing her directly to the source of warmth permeating right down to her bones. Hiccup's fingertips nestled under her tank top, soft and hot against the skin of her stomach. They were curled up together, her body molded to his behind her in the quintessential definition of spooning. His comforter was pulled up around their shoulders, effectively snuggling them in a little cocoon.

His breathing was deep and even, indicating he had not yet awoken. She took a moment to let the contentment seep in, how nice this felt, comfortable and satiated after a night making poor decisions and discovering herself, per Ruff's advice. It really wasn't that poor of a decision. It was a little kissing and heavy petting, innocent teenage agenda. Ruff would probably be disappointed. The fact she was waking up in his bed was the most scintillating detail to this whole affair, even if it was the most innocent of her actions in recent hours. Giddiness took over then, an excitement she hadn't felt in ages.

_I made out with a boy last night!_

The most distracting thing about this was how well her backside fit up against the front of him, curved perfectly into his lap like they were made to fit together. Her past relationship, junior and senior year of high school, always felt like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, literally. He was big and bulky compared to her lithe frame, ultra masculine, muscular, and something she thought she wanted. He longed for nothing more than to spread his wings and fly away from Berk as fast as he could, and she was close knit with her family, friends, and her home. Berk University was held in high esteem and its graduates valued in the job market. There was no reason to go anywhere else for schooling so she separated ways with him, sad to see something end but excited for the future, eager to start the path to her career and her own life.

This was when she thought about it pragmatically, staunchly refusing to dwell on how much that failed relationship affected her more than she'd ever like to admit. She didn't fail at things. Her friends, her family, her grades, _relationships_. They seemed like the perfect item, quarterback of the football team and captain of the Pom Squad. Homecoming Queen. Star athlete of the volleyball team- her nickname hadn't been 'Spike' for nothing. She took her popularity in high school for granted, never unkind to her fellow students but using her reputation to get ahead. It wasn't without its stresses, the constant pressure to perform in every single endeavor she undertook, the rumor mills, all aspects of her relationship in the spotlight on the high school stage. Looking back she had no idea how she managed to juggle so many responsibilities. She supposed it was relentless tenacity and a fear of failing. She didn't take kindly to failing, at _anything_.

So when he ended the relationship the summer after graduation, she was thankful the high school spotlight was behind them and it was just him and her left to stare at the broken pieces of something that had felt like it was a great thing, but was mostly wrong. She loved him because she thought she had to, isn't that what high school relationships were supposed to be? Wasn't she supposed to lose her virginity on prom night, and then somehow make it work long distance when they went to different colleges? They were high school sweethearts, destined to make a life work because that's how the story goes.

Except it didn't go that way. He broke up with her, flew off to the ends of the Earth and she sat in the ruin of her perfect plans, left to limp on and discover what she really intended to do with her life. High school had been a safe haven, the gateway to adulthood that still assured a safety net underneath the tight rope.

Now she felt like she was up on the high wire alone, balancing as best she could while a crowd viewed from below, all eyes watching and waiting for her one misstep. She dated a couple guys her first year of college, back when it was easier for Ruff to drag her out to parties and events. Both didn't even last a month. She threw herself into books and studying in the face of defeat, like she always did. There was no point trying for a relationship if it was destined to fail.

This, here and now, didn't feel like failing. He was so _warm_. And snuggly. She forgot how nice human contact felt, how much she craved it. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes when she realized how much she had missed. She forgot that failing just meant you had to try harder next time. Failing sucked, but it didn't mean quitting was acceptable. She needed to pick herself up and dust herself off and try again. She was older, wiser, more experienced now. She could lose herself in books, but books couldn't hug her back. Relationships may end and cut deeply, but lonely metaphorical paper cuts could hurt just as much.

He shifted, his arm tightening around her waist and his thumb caressing the little swell of taught stomach under her navel. She shivered and rolled her hips, eliciting the most delicious noise from the back of his throat. His hand slid to her hipbone and gripped it tightly. She grinned and couldn't help but encourage him with another deliberate wiggle. As he woke up more fully, his sense of propriety awoke too and he rolled away onto his back. She pouted, turning onto her stomach to follow him, resting her head against his shoulder and pushing aside the tangled mane of her unbound hair.

"Morning," she said pleasantly, peeking up at his face.

"Hey," he said, brushing his hand through his bangs.

"Did you tuck us in last night?" she asked, her hand patting his chest.

"Yeah. You fell asleep and started snoring."

She pushed up on her elbows. "Excuse me, I do _not_ snore."

He grinned wickedly. "You drooled a little bit, too. _Ow_!"

She socked him in the arm.

"I thought it was cute -ow, ow!"

She sat up and turned away from him with crossed arms.

"You're kinda violent, aren't you."

"Maybe if you didn't have such a smart mouth."

"I dunno, I thought you liked the things I did with my mouth last night."

She glanced behind her to give him a look, and shrugged. "It was _alright_."

"You said, and I quote, that I was 'the best kisser you've been with.' You said that."

"Well, you are something." She shifted to the edge of the bed, dangling her legs over the side. "Do you have a bathroom I can use?"

He shook his head, eyes wide. "No."

She frowned at him. "What."

"Nah, they didn't give me one of those."

"You don't have a bathroom."

"Nope."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Fine, I'll just wander around your apartment and snoop through all your stuff."

"It's off the living room." He nodded in the direction with his chin, grinning at her. He propped himself up on an elbow.

"Thanks. For nuthin'," she said, getting up.

"You're _always_ welcome, milady."

She snorted. "I've never heard anyone in the past century use that term of endearment."

"What can I say, I'm just old fashioned like that."

"The _sass_ with this one," she said under her breath. What was with those big green doe eyes when he first opened the door? He looked so sweet then. There was certainly a layer of salt underneath that (ridiculously handsome) unassuming exterior.

"Are you getting up too?"

He dodged her gaze and fidgeted, still reclining on his bed safely tucked under his comforter. "Yeah, I will in a moment."

She narrowed her eyes. "Something wrong?"

He shrugged, looking at his pillow. His poker face needed some work. "No. Not, uh, no. Well, it's- you can just go use the bathroom and I'll be- it's-"

"Oh," she said, spotting his prosthetic mostly hidden under the bed, the reason he was so uncomfortable. "I understand. You'd like some privacy."

"Yes," he said, looking relieved. "I'm just, not ready..."

"Say no more, babe. I totally get it. I'll let you know when I'm coming back."

"Thanks," he said, embarrassed, running a hand through the back of his hair. He did that a lot, must be one of his nervous tics. She decided it was endearing. She grabbed her phone and closed his door behind her, heading to his bathroom.

It was tiny, just enough room for the sink, toilet, and shower stall. She glanced around. Like the rest of his apartment, cleanliness wasn't too bad, for a dude. She had seen worse- like Snot and Tuff's apartment. She shuddered and tried to forget about that unfortunate party, and pitied Ruff, who spent a great deal more time there.

Her reflection was a sight; it was a miracle she hadn't scared him off. Wavy hair all over the place and day old make up smudged in rings under her eyes. She splashed some water onto her face, cleaning up the worst of the raccoon eyes and using his comb to tame some of the flyaways in her hair.

She checked her phone. Sure enough, there was a text from her over enthusiastic roommate."Good God, Ruff," she said, snorting. She tapped out a response.

_So? Did you lose your second virginity? I need to know. For science. This is important_

_-You are relentless_

_So?! Yes?! :D :D :D_

_-No. Your experiment will have to wait for another day. Like after I know him better. It was one day! I slept over at his apartment though_

_you are ZERO fun. Child's play_

_-you are too much fun_

_you know it ;D_

_-I thought you'd be proud I spent the night in his bed_

_I'd be more proud if he spent the night in you_

_-RUFF!_

_That's my name don't wear it out pretty lady ;)_

_-Are you getting your comebacks from 1995 now?_

She shook her head and chuckled, finishing up in the bathroom. She gave him a couple more minutes, peeking at some paintings of his stacked against the wall before knocking on his bedroom door.

"Ah, yeah one second... okay. You can come in."

She opened the door and peeked around. "Are you decent?"

"Mostly. I'm not wearing any pants."

"Really?" she said, opening the door with a big grin, feigning disappointment when he was fully clothed in a pair of jeans and a soft looking worn in green t-shirt. He was tall and lanky, but in a proportional way. She bit her lip. He looked _good_ in those jeans.

"Kidding," he said.

"Damn," she giggled. "I was really hoping."

"Ha, yeah." Some of the amusement had left his demeanor and he was standing near his computer, ungainly and stiff. His nervousness seeped into her and she shrugged sheepishly. What now? Say goodbye, do the walk of shame? At least it would be the shortest walk of shame in history, and not much to actually be ashamed over. They hadn't _done_ anything.

Midnight seduced people into doing things they normally wouldn't, like spending the night in a stranger's bed, which seemed like such a great idea at the time. The harsh light of day always brought stark reality with it, casting hastily made decisions into relief. She decided standing and staring at each other was more awkward than talking.

"Hey, so listen. I know we've known each other for like a day, and I completely get that you needed some time to yourself this morning to get settled and dressed and whatnot. But I don't want you to think you have to be embarrassed in front of me. I will admit I don't have experience with this sort of thing, and I'll apologize now if I ever say something that makes you uncomfortable or offends you. I'd never do that intentionally, okay? So please, if I say or do something let me know because I want to learn what's appropriate."

He frowned, processing what she was saying. "This doesn't sound like your standard morning after 'I'll text you sometime' fare."

"I told you, I'm a very straightforward person. I like you and I want to see you again." She shrugged. "You make me smile."

"I make you smile? That's all it takes? I should have _tons_ of girlfriends."

"I'm surprised you don't, actually."

The smile slipped off his face. "We already discussed that."

"I'm sorry some people are so shallow."

"Nah, I can't really blame them."

"Well I can. Do you have a phone?"

"Ah, yeah," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling the device out.

"Unlock it," she requested. He put in his password and she took it from him. She brought up his contacts list and started to enter in her name, but thought better of it and tapped in _Milady_ followed by her phone number. She smiled to herself, wondering what his face would look like when he discovered that. She clicked it off and handed it back to him.

"Your friend must not mind?"

"Who?" he asked, confused.

"Your lady friend. She must not mind that you're with another girl?"

"Oh... her. No, ah- like I said before, that's a whole different... complicated thing. Don't worry, my actions are my own decisions to make. I am legitimately single."

"Hmm," she said, pursing her lips. She didn't want to outright pry, but at the same time she was curious as to how much competition this other girl was. He refused to give anything away, so she let it go for now.

"Oh, I never even- you don't have a boyfriend, do you? I'm not going to have some big tough guy kicking down my door to beat me up, am I?"

She laughed. "No. No boyfriend."

He looked relieved. "Good."

"So, do you have plans for today?"

"Ah, yeah I gotta work at one."

"Bummer. How long is your shift?"

"Work till nine."

"Yikes, full day. I have a lot of studying to catch up on," she said. "For some reason I didn't get much done last night."

He blushed and grinned. "Wonder why."

"Some dude had his face attached to mine for half the night."

"Lucky guy."

"Sure was. Well, I better get going. I feel weird standing here in my pajamas while you're dressed all nice," she said.

"You look cute," he said, reassuring. "But I do have to get some things done before work, so I guess?"

"Walk of shame time," she said with humor.

"Do you need an escort? I'm concerned you'll run into ruffians on your way home. But you look like you work out so you'll have to protect me from them."

She laughed and winked at him. "Nah, I think I can manage." She gathered up her books and notes into her backpack and headed for his door. Toothless intercepted her before she could leave.

"Oh! Bye, kitty!" she said, kneeling down to give the needy feline some pets. Toothless purred and rubbed all up against her arms. "I'll be back, promise."

She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile, which he returned, a light glimmering in his eyes that had been missing for most of the morning. She stood, slinging her bag over one shoulder and leaning in to peck his cheek goodbye.

"See ya round," she said, slipping out his door.

"Yeah, for sure," he answered, watching her go.

Once back in her apartment she was alone save for Ruff's beta fish, whose care mostly fell to her because Ruff couldn't be trusted to keep anything alive except for herself, and even that was questionable some days. She dropped a couple pellets into the bowl and Lenny ate them up greedily.

She flopped onto her bed, giddy and restless. She glanced at her phone, then tossed it aside. Then glanced at it again. Stupid three day text rule. How was she supposed to concentrate on anything at all? It wasn't like she couldn't hear everything he did right on the other side of her wall. It would be strange to hear him come home tonight and not receive any sort of contact from him. She didn't want to play games or beat around the bush; she could tell he was something special and waiting seemed stupid and a waste of time. She wasn't sure if he would try to play the game or not, but time would tell. Either way, it was clear she wanted to see him again and waiting was unbearable.

Studying, she was supposed to be studying. Papers. Notes. Books.

They seemed so empty to her now. Rows of formulas and figures that once demanded every iota of her attention fell flat. Her mind kept wandering back to those kisses, things further south kept twinging when she remembered how he felt against her thigh, his firm grip on her ass and inversely soft palm on her breast, clever fingers mastering her anatomy. If she could go back to his apartment tonight, she would in a heartbeat.

He was well into his workday and she had thrown together some semblance of lunch, lounging on her bed and listening to the radio on low while desperately attempting to absorb any of the material laid out in front of her.

A lilting melody plucked from a guitar floated into her consciousness and she perked up, staring at her radio.

"Oh," she said, curling her fingers into a loose fist. Male and female voices intertwined into a harmonious duet, stalling all thought processes in her brain. She smiled, heart light in her chest, happier than she had been in a long time.

_And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind, making me feel like I just want to know you better now_

She could've thrown something, she was such a sap. Music was fine and all but she hadn't shared his level of enthusiasm for it. Words this perfect crashed into her like an ocean wave, drawing her into the undertow and comprehension flooded onto her face. She understood what he had been trying to say, the importance he placed on finding an emotional connection within lyrics and notes. It was like this song had been written for them and she quirked her lips. He would be so _smug_ knowing he was right, she could just see it.

She got up and paced. There was no way studying was happening now.

Ruff stumbled through the front door with a clamor, breaking the spell she was in. She had never been so grateful for a distraction.

"Hey," she said, leaning against her bedroom door's frame as Ruff tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter.

Her roommate looked a little worse for the wear, but it didn't matter. Ruff pounced like a puma stalking its prey when she caught sight of Astrid, still in the same clothes from last night. She zeroed in on Astrid's neck as though she possessed an innate ability to sense evidence of mischief.

"Is that a _hickey_?! Oh my God, girl. I want details. Like all the dirty nitty gritty. _Spill_."

Astrid giggled and backed away, holding her hands up. "Not much to tell, honest."

" _Please_ tell me you at least let him get to third."

"Ah, no."

"Jesus, Astrid, come on-"

"Second."

Ruff stopped and appraised her. "Under clothes? Mouth?"

"Well, no-"

She shook her head. "Okay, okay, it's a start. A fourteen year old start, but I'll take it. What else?"

Astrid blushed. "I um... pulled the old Thorston maneuver you taught me on him."

Ruff cheered and clapped her hands. "Ah! I told you that is the best move! Is he packing?"

"I couldn't really tell. He didn't seem to be having any problems in that department, though."

Ruff grinned deviously, rubbing her hands together. "Nice, very nice. And you slept over?"

"Woke up spooning. He tucked us in."

"What a freaking gentleman. Where do you find these guys, Astrid? Does he have a friend? Ooh a brother?"

"I have no idea. Aren't you and Snot a thing yet?"

"Friends with benefits. _Lots_ of benefits at the moment."

"Why don't you just date him. You know he likes you."

Ruff shrugged. "Maybe. We'll see."

Astrid smirked. She was cautious to get physical with someone she didn't know whereas Ruff was cautious to get emotionally attached to someone she was physically involved with. Strangely they balanced each other out.

"You know, I tried things your way, I went out and got some strange like you said. Maybe you should go out and get yourself a relationship," she said, teasing.

Ruff crinkled her nose. "God, _relationship_. It sounds so stuffy."

Astrid softened, nostalgia and things long past washing up. "It's better than you think."

"I'll take your word for it." Ruff yawned. "Now, I'm going to go throw up in my trash can and then pass out for another few hours. See you later."

"Yeah, cool," she responded, frowning. Ruff didn't provide company long enough for an effective distraction. "Back to the books I guess."

She tried to focus, she really did. That silly song kept replaying in her head and all she could think about was how good kissing him had felt and how nice and warm she had been tucked up together with him in his bed.

All afternoon she wrestled with notes, trying to cram anything she could retain into her mutinous brain. She glanced at the clock in five minute increments, hoping at least fifteen had gone by. It was only six o'clock in the evening and he wouldn't be home for another three hours. She felt pathetic. Waiting on a boy to come home like this when she probably wouldn't even hear from him at all. She didn't get his number and she refused to go to his apartment unless he asked.

She was tired of dating games but she wasn't jaded enough to know some moves reeked of desperation. She refused to be desperate, no matter how long it had been since the last time she had anyone on the line. She felt so out of practice. He was cute and she was sure he'd text her at some point, whether he waited the three days or was tapping out a message right now. She checked her phone again. Maybe not exactly right now.

She covered her face with her hands. It would be a special kind of torture if he waited three days to contact her, especially having to listen to his every move on the other side of her wall.

This wasn't desperate at all.

Somehow she fell asleep, even with thoughts whizzing around her brain like a maelstrom. When she woke groggily and glanced at her alarm clock, she sat up with a jolt. It was five after nine and she wasn't sure where he worked or how long it would take him to get home, but he should be punched out. "Hey, you want some pizza?" Ruff asked, poking her head in through the door.

"Yeah, sure," she said, wiping one of her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You fall asleep?"

"Yeah, took a nap."

"College kids, rediscovering the glory of the afternoon nap. Those two year olds don't know how good they have it."

"Preach," she said, mouth opened wide with a yawn. "What kind?"

"What kind what."

"Pizza."

"Pepperoni."

She slid herself off the bed and followed Ruff into the living room. "Hey, Snot."

"Sup babe," Snot said, giving her his trademark grin.

"You and Ruff having a date night?"

"Astrid," Ruff said, giving her a warning glance. Snot shrugged.

"Whatever Ruff wants."

"And what I want is to see if I can fit a whole pizza slice into my mouth."

Snot grinned devilishly. "Well-"

"No!" Astrid said, holding out her hands to ward him off. "Do not finish that. I do _not_ need to know why you think she can."

"Killjoy."

"I'll be in my room. Try not to be too loud."

"No promises!" Ruff said cheerily.

"Gross," she muttered, retreating to the sanctuary of her room with pizza and soda in hand. Back on her bed, ear to the wall. All quiet on the other side. Disappointment with a flush of humiliation. Nope, not desperate. For the first time she missed his noise.

She turned the radio on low for background music while she attempted another crack at studying, which didn't last long. She perked up when it was nine thirty five and she heard a door opening. She plastered herself to the wall.

" _Hey, bud! How are you? Did you have a good day lounging around doing nothing?"_

Toothless meowed and she smiled to herself, picturing the cat winding himself around his owner's legs. She sat back, feeling creepy for listening to him but ecstatic he was home. Her heart quickened its pace when she heard him enter his bedroom.

"Be cool, idiot," she said to herself under her breath. After a moment she heard the sound of him flopping onto his bed and she clenched her fists. He was right on the other side of her wall. She had no idea what to do. Studying was out of the question. Contacting him wasn't an option. She sat on her bed, a bundle of nerves, knowing he was so close to her and there was nothing she could do about it.

As the song on the radio switched to commercials, she lighted on an idea to get his attention. She switched off the music and pulled up youtube on her phone. A quick search and she pressed play. She turned up the volume just enough that she knew he'd be able to hear it, but not loud enough to sound completely intentional. Heart thumping, she leaned back onto her pillow and placed her phone face down on her chest, listening to the words and smiling to herself.

_All I know is you held the door, you'll be mine and I'll be yours, all I know since yesterday is everything has changed_

Half way through the song her phone buzzed and she almost jumped out of her skin. She flew up so fast it clattered off the bed. She dove for it, heart hammering in her throat and half falling onto the floor. Sure enough it was a text from an unlisted number. Fingers trembling, she read the message on screen and a grin burst onto her face.

_Excuse me miss, but could you please turn your music down? I'm trying to study and you're disturbing me it's very important_

She shook her head. Still full of sass.

_-Oh I'm sorry, was it annoying you? I have to have it as loud as humanly possible so I can focus on my typography assignments :P_

Three bubbles appeared as he typed in a response.

_Is that so? Well I'm going to come over so we can have a civil conversation about it. With our tongues_

"Oh God, yes please," she said out loud before she could stop herself, clamping a hand over her mouth. Another text from him popped up.

_Yeah, you'll be calling that out a lot if I have my way with you ;)_

Her face turned a bright shade of red and she dropped her phone, wishing the bed could physically swallow her whole.

_-you seem very sure of yourself_

_I have a good feeling about it :)_

_-How was work?_

_Long and boring, per usual_

_-Where do you work?_

_Hank's Hardware. I help cantankerous old dudes find the perfect pipe wrench. It's very glamorous don't be jealous_

_-Oh don't worry, I'll find some way to control myself :)_

_I don't mind if you lose control around me_

_-look at you with the smooth af lines_

_I try milady ;)_

_-you're seriously making it very difficult to study. I thought going over to your apartment and yelling at you would make it better but it didn't work_

_I'm always good for messing up people's plans, don't worry it's a natural talent_

She frowned. Another self depreciating comment that struck her as odd, like he was alluding to something else, but she didn't know him well enough to comment. So she decided to try a different tactic.

_-how am I supposed to get any work done when all I can think about is how nice you felt behind me this morning?_

_Scandalous :)_

_-It's true though_

_I thought about it all day too_

She clutched at her heart, which threatened to keel over on her. She flopped back onto her pillow and ran the other hand over her face.

_I work tomorrow night, but Monday I'm free. Care for another study session?_

_-Sounds like a date_

_:) If that's what you want to call it_

_I have to keep working on that typography assignment you so rudely interrupted last night, so I've got to go :/ But, I'll put in my headphones just for you :)_

_-You don't have to put in your headphones. I don't mind now that I know why you do it_

_You're too sweet. Talk later?_

_-For sure. Night!_

She tossed her phone onto her pillow, grinning like an idiot. She heard the sound of him rising up from his bed and settling into his computer chair. After a bit of fumbling his music started playing at a lower volume than usual for him and she smiled, the lyrics still filtering through the walls.

_Love me today don't leave me tomorrow, if I fall for you I'll never recover, if I fall for you I'll never be the same_

She sighed happily and studied alongside him. When she clicked off the light and heard him return to his bed for the night too, she turned and faced the wall, wondering if he was doing the same thing on the other side. She reached out and tentatively knocked twice, a soft rap of her knuckles.

She grinned and placed a hand on her heart when she heard two soft taps in response.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Midterms started tomorrow.

Astrid was absolutely panicking.

The past two weeks were filled with "study dates" that dissolved into something entirely else, and while she was satisfied with the outcome of _that_ , not much actual knowledge was absorbed. She resolved to spend the weekend locked in her room alone so she could cram as much material into her flaky brain as possible. The brain that couldn't stop thinking about _him_.

They had started somewhat of an easy friendship alongside all of the physical activity. She was drawn to his impeccably timed wit, his lanky form, and his damn hands. Something about his hands drew her gaze, like no matter how much he teased Toothless, whenever he handled the cat he was always so gentle, revealing the depth of his true affection. She had never seen a man so graceful with his hands but still exude masculinity. There was nothing feminine about him but posturing alpha male he was not and she found this intensely intriguing. She possessed the stronger personality between them by far, though he held his own against her by using quips to balance her force.

Sometimes she felt like his gentleness exacerbated the contrast between his mild easy going nature and her tactless candor. She was blunt and honest, things she had always considered to be strengths, but he made her appreciate the softer side. She wanted to think her good qualities, like her determination and work ethic, offset her inability to be delicate.

He didn't seem to mind her personality quirks, in fact she rather thought he maybe saw her as a contender, someone who could go toe to toe with his sharp tongue. He generally won their verbal sparring matches with sheer wit, earning him a punch on the shoulder when she couldn't think of anything to comeback with. His quiet intelligence challenged her own and satisfied her competitive nature. He made her strive to best him by anticipating his next move, but inevitably she would dissolve into giggles because his humor was so on point. She had never gotten to know someone like him and her immediate fondness for him surprised her.

She glanced at her alarm clock. Hiccup worked an earlier shift today and was due to walk into his apartment any moment. Even though she wouldn't be joining him this evening, she liked to know he was home. Right on cue she heard his keys jangling and his door being opened.

" _Hey, how are you, bud?"_

She could hear the creeping exhaustion in his tone, but she perked up just at the sound of his voice. She relaxed against her pillow, attempting to focus on math equations and letting the soothing noises of him moving about his apartment fade to the background of her consciousness.

About a half an hour later of working complex formulas there was a knock on his door. Her hearing snapped back to attention. She heard him undo the latch, though the sounds from farther away in his apartment were muffled.

" _Oh... ah, hey?"_

" _Hey."_

Her eyebrows rose. The voice belonged to a female. She abandoned her notebook and pressed herself against the wall.

" _Can we talk?"_

" _Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea."_

" _I know, but I don't like where we left things."_

" _I really don't think there's anything left to say."_

" _That's not true and you know it."_

She recognized that voice and her heart stopped in her chest. It was the girl he brought home not quite a month ago. She heard them move into the kitchen area. Some part of her felt extremely guilty for eavesdropping, but the thin walls wouldn't have kept much of their conversation from her anyway. She was dying to know what this girl's deal was. She wished she had paid more attention to the argument through the wall the first time around, but she couldn't possibly have known in hindsight it would have any sort of relevance.

" _You couldn't text me to let me know you were coming?"_

" _I was driving by and I saw your car. Also, I knew you probably wouldn't respond to me if I did."_

" _Well you were right on that one. I am not looking to start anything, I just want to be clear on that."_

" _Then what were we doing that night?"_

" _Making a huge mistake."_

" _Was it really, though?"_

" _Yes. Absolutely, yes."_

" _You would've gone through with it. If we hadn't been interrupted, you would've. You were completely willing."_

" _Is that really all that surprising to you? You caught me when I was drunk, vulnerable, and depressed. You're... familiar. Of course I was fucking willing."_

" _Still the same old bitterness, I see."_

" _Don't even start with that. I really don't see the need for any of this."_

" _You almost had sex with me and I can't stop thinking about it. We used to have something good and I know you. We can't just leave things like they are; we have history, Hiccup. That's not fair."_

" _Yeah, we do have history, and that's all it is because of you. Now you want to talk about things not being fair?"_

Her eyebrows rose on her forehead. This girl wasn't just a friend, she was an ex. An ex that broke up with him, not mutually, it sounded. He failed to mention that tidbit.

" _Right, I probably owe you an apology-"_

" _An apology won't ever untangle the mess you made."_

" _No, Hiccup. The mess wasn't mine. I had to step away from it."_

" _Your timing couldn't have been worse."_

" _What would you have had me do? You pushed everyone away. Me, Fish, your mom, your dad-"_

" _Heather."_

" _Don't snap at me. You know it's true. I tried. I really, really did. What Thomas and the guys did to you was terrible, but-"_

" _Terrible? No. Not a severe enough adjective, try again."_

" _I'm not disputing what happened to you wasn't the shittiest thing that could ever happen. But you never tried to fix it, or yourself. You just wallowed in your bitterness and misery and shut out everyone who ever cared for you."_

" _Nope, nope you know that's not right. We were falling apart long before that. You were so distant and you conveniently placed all the blame on me, because it was so damn easy to. You're an opportunist, using the whole situation to your advantage. It sure gave you the perfect exit."_

" _Listen to you. You always do this, twist things around in your head and cling to it so you can justify your anger. I sat by your fucking hospital bed every God damned day, Hiccup. I was there for you."_

" _You were, but you weren't, because this is what you always do. I'm not the one who twists things for their own benefit. You shift the perception of the situation to make yourself look good, when in actuality you knew that if you broke up with me after the accident you would've looked like a huge bitch. When Thomas happened, it was too much for you to associate yourself with. You left."_

" _I left because you refused to listen, to anyone or anything. This was never about me. It just seemed like the damage was too insurmountable. I was sixteen years old! It was a lot for a teenager to handle; I wasn't a grief counselor. I did what I could, but you wouldn't let me in! You wouldn't let anyone in. Apparently not much has changed."_

" _You were so good at this. Playing the fucking victim, like you were the victim here. Did you forget I was sixteen too? I didn't get a choice! How dare I harbor a shred of bitterness over the hand I was dealt. How dare I react to anything at all. How dare I not give a fuck where that leaves you, because absolutely none of this happened to you, at all. The fact remains, you left me at a time when I needed you the most, and you didn't care, no matter how much I begged or pleaded you to stay."_

" _I couldn't. Not when you refused to meet me halfway."_

There was a silence, and she could almost see him standing there fuming, carefully crafting his response to do the utmost damage.

" _How could I meet you halfway when I couldn't walk, Heather."_

Another beat, when she responded it was so soft Astrid almost couldn't hear it.

" _That wasn't fair."_

" _No shit. It was never fair between us, we've already established this hundreds of times."_

" _What possessed you to take me home then? If you're this mad at me, how did I end up in your bed."_

" _Already answered that. I was drunk and depressed."_

" _Sunk to new lows, is that it?"_

" _I am so glad you came over tonight. We're doing an awesome job fixing this and not yelling at each other like we did last time."_

" _You know, I shouldn't be surprised; I can only do so much on my end. You never try to fix anything. You just leave it all to fester and build up until you break. You lost a limb and instead of gaining a new outlook on your life and moving on you wallowed in misery and pain. Thomas pulled his little stunt and you refused to press charges. Instead you just let it consume you, let all of it take you down and then you dragged me down with you. High school is shit for pretty much everyone, Hiccup. It's how you respond to life's trials that shows what kind of person you are. Thomas is a dickhead, always has been and always will be. You will never get your foot back and it's time you moved on and lived your life instead of dwelling in the past."_

" _Do me a favor and lose my number."_

" _Hiccup... I'm only trying to-"_

" _No. You think you're making sense, but all it's showing is your naivety and complete lack of empathy, and you wondered why I never let you in. People suffer, Heather. People have shit things happen to them and not everyone is strong enough to face down their demons. Yet you just sweep in here, invalidating all that suffering like people don't have a right to feel terrible about what's happened to them. You can't take that away, that's all some people have."_

" _And is 'some people' you?"_

" _No. Because I'm not wallowing anymore."_

" _Really? Because this whole fight seems like wallowing to me. Almost sleeping with your ex while drunk and depressed is sort of a sure sign you're on your way to rock bottom. What could have possibly changed in three weeks?"_

There was a tense pause and she held her breath, squeezing her fist.

" _Oh... I see. You met someone, didn't you?"_ Heather's tone was accusing and curious. He didn't answer and she felt her heart beat erratically in her chest.

" _Oh my God. You did, you actually met someone. Was your bed still warm from me leaving it?"_

" _I think we're done here."_

She heard him briskly walk to the door and Heather's footsteps reluctantly follow. The anger in his tone drained away into weary sorrow when he spoke.

" _I'm sorry we fought. I'm sorry about that whole damn night, and I'm sorry we almost made a mistake, but I'm not kidding when I said lose my number. I really don't think there's anything left for us here and I'm not interested in being friends anymore. Thank you for all that you did for me in high school. I really do appreciate that you stayed at the hospital with me, at the time that was everything, but we can't be that for each other anymore. I'm just... sorry. About all of it."_

" _I'm... I'm sorry too. I'm sorry, Hiccup."_ Her voice was soft, remorseful.

" _Yeah. We've been friends for a long time, but I think it's over."_

" _Whoever she is, I hope she's what you're looking for."_

" _Thanks. Have a nice life, Heather."_

" _You... you too."_

She gazed at her notes in a daze, unsure how to process what she just heard. The door closed and Heather's footsteps were heavy down the hall. She desperately wanted to run to the door and peek to see what Heather looked like but she refrained, staying to listen to Hiccup in the aftermath.

" _I'll be back in a minute, bud."_

Where was he going now? She pressed her ear to the wall, hearing him leave his apartment. In a moment there was a knock on her unit's door and her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. He had come straight over to her.

"I've got it," Ruff called, emerging from her room, which was closer to the entrance.

"No, wait!" Astrid said, scrambling off her bed and tripping when her foot caught in her sheets. Ruff opened the door.

"Oh... My... God. It's not my birthday. Who sent you? Doesn't matter, I will sign for your package."

"Um, wha- is Astrid here?"

"Ruff!" Astrid said, bursting out of her room after untangling herself. He looked up at her and she drew in a sharp breath at the storm brewing behind his eyes.

"Of course you're here for Astrid," Ruff said, disappointed while she scanned him up and down appreciatively.

"Excuse us, please," Astrid said to Ruff pointedly. Her feisty roommate gave him another look and her patented Thorston grin. He nodded politely but she could tell he was in no mood to handle any more of Ruff's antics.

"Let's go for a walk," he said, tone serious and not a hint of his normal easy going demeanor. Her heart skipped nervously.

"Yeah, let me just get my coat."

He retreated out the door and Ruff gave her a wide eyed stare and pointed to his back, fanning herself and miming about how incredibly attractive he was. She tried to placate Ruff and shoo her away, but Ruff just grinned and made some very inappropriate and crude gestures with her hands... and mouth. And tongue.

"You are impossible," Astrid hissed at her under her breath so he wouldn't hear. She wrapped her blue scarf around her neck and zipped up her coat.

He was waiting for her, staring down the hall like he was lost in thought. He startled when she closed the door behind her and together they walked off.

Her nerves were popping like little firecrackers, waiting for him to speak. She didn't want to let on she heard everything if he didn't bring it up himself, but he had to know she was privy to that whole conversation. He didn't look at her once as they crossed the parking lot and veered for the sidewalk. Once they eased into a comfortable pace he spoke.

"So, I'm sorry you had to hear all that."

She pursed her lips. "Isn't it more, you're not sorry I 'had' to, but more that I did at all?"

He sighed. "That is more accurate, yes."

"I wouldn't have eavesdropped on you, but those walls are so thin-"

"I know."

"When you said it was complicated, I didn't realize it was an ex," she said.

"I've made some poor decisions in my life. That was definitely one of them."

"Who hasn't made poor decisions though? It's basically a prerequisite for life."

"You're being awfully understanding."

"What do you mean?"

He glanced at her for the first time, a quick nervous dart of his eyes. "Hearing all my dirty laundry aired out like that. I mostly expected you to be a lot more awkward and looking for a way out of this. Won't blame you if you do."

"You know, I'm glad I overheard, because now I know where that attitude comes from."

"What attitude?"

"The thinking I'm just going to up and quit on you. You were sure I'd leave when I discovered your prosthetic and now you think I'm clamoring to get away from you after hearing your little lover's spat."

"Ugh, it was not a lover's spat. It was the dying breath of a friendship that was beyond saving."

"Was she your girlfriend in high school?"

"Yes."

"And you were dating her when you had your accident?"

"Yes."

"But, it wasn't when you had your accident that you broke up?"

He tensed, muscle in his jaw twitching and his shoulders imperceptibly hunched. "There are some things I'm not ready to talk about. That's one of them."

"Okay," she accepted.

He frowned. "Okay? You're not mad that I don't want to talk?"

"Not my business to pry. If you want to talk to me about it someday I'm all ears, and I'm a very good listener. But it's your past and your baggage. You decide when you're ready to share."

"But..."

"Hey. I might be pushy and tactless a lot of the time, but even I can recognize when someone needs some space. I mean, I do hope you'll trust me though. If you ever want things to progress."

He looked thoughtful, bottom lip poking out and brows furrowed. His hands were hidden in the pockets of his jacket, so she looped her arms around his left one and cuddled into his side.

"For right now, it sounds like you've been through a lot and you could use a friend."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I really could. That sounds nice," he said with a sigh.

She looked up into his face and gave him a tender smile. He couldn't help the twitch that tugged at the corner of his lip.

"I'm not siding with anyone, but your ex had a point about one thing."

He stiffened, bracing himself for her words.

"I think she meant well, but went about it the wrong way. It isn't good to let things fester until you become overwhelmed by them. Sometimes when you're drowning, you have to accept the hand outstretched to you, even if you're determined to do it on your own."

"Are you trying to say you're the hand?"

"Only if you want me to be. There was definitely a time when I felt like that and I wish I had accepted the help instead of pushing it away."

He nodded slowly, keeping his eyes forward. "Noted."

They went silent and his hand slipped out of his pocket and into hers, intertwining their fingers together. She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. It was an oppressive evening, overcast with bloated clouds and light drizzle, streetlights hazy and casting a dewy sheen over everything. Their steps were punctuated with wet scrapes against the pavement and she huddled closer to him for warmth from the misty cold.

He stopped and turned under a streetlamp, her momentum carrying her forward but he tugged her into him for a firm kiss containing numerous emotions behind it. She wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed tightly, hugging and reassuring at the same time.

Her nose and the tips of her ears were cherry red when he pulled away, searching her with his eyes.

"I don't think I deserve you."

"You gotta stop saying things like that. You deserve to be happy."

"I think I could be, when I'm with you."

"That was smooth, well done sir."

A wistful grin broke out onto his face. "Too much?"

"Just right, baby bear. Come on, let's go home, huh?"

"All right, Goldilocks," he said, tugging on her braid.

They circled back around and he dropped her off at her apartment door, where he lingered.

"Thanks for everything tonight. If... if you want, you could come back to my place..."

"I don't think so, mister. My routine has been completely ruined by you, again! Midterms are tomorrow and I barely got anything done. If I come over I'll never study, you and I both know this. Don't you have something due for Illustration?"

"Yes," he said guiltily.

"See? Studying," she said firmly. "Trust me, once midterms are over, I will be in your bed every chance I get."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

She nodded. "If it weren't midterms you know I'd come home with you after a night like you've had. But I can't, these tests make up too much of my grades."

"Okay," he said, disappointed. "Good night, then."

He kissed her again, hand on her back, conveying his gratitude with his mouth. They parted with a soft smack, and she kissed him on his cheek.

"See you tomorrow," she said, ducking past her door. He waved and started to unlock his.

Ruff was on her the moment she closed herself into their apartment.

"You've been holding out on me. That was the hottie neighbor, wasn't it? How the hell did you resist boning that?!"

"Ruff, oh my God. You have a one track mind."

"When it involves guys that cute what do you expect?"

"We're not in a rush."

"So is it like, serious then?"

She shrugged. "I mean, I dunno. He's really cool and sweet. I like him."

"Have you slept with him yet?"

She shook her head.

"Really, you still haven't had sex? Aww you really do like him!"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't just hop into bed with anything that has a penis, Ruff."

"Hey, are you insinuating that I do? I have standards, you know."

"Yeah, but it's literally like the top rung of the limbo bar. Almost anyone can sail right under that."

"Penis and a pulse." Ruff winked. "And muscles. Oh my God, do I love the gun show... and his face. He's gotta have a cute face. A beard doesn't hurt either. And-"

"I'm supposed to be studying," she whined. "Not listening to your man checklist."

"Fine, be that way. You're no fun."

"I'll be tons of fun after midterms."

"Speaking of 'after midterms,' Tuff said the frat boys are throwing another Halloween costume party this year. We're going."

"I don't get a choice?"

"No. We're going. Bring Mr. Hottie McHotpants."

"But I don't know if-"

"I don't want to hear it. You are going and you're bringing Cuteface Boy with you. End of story."

"But I-"

"Nope."

"But-"

"Shh."

"Ruff!"

"You will thank me. Don't you have some studying to do or something? You should get on that, you're going to fail all your tests. Jeez Astrid, it's called _responsibility_."

"Why do I live with you?" she said, rubbing her hands down her face.

"Because I am the bestest roomie ever," Ruff said, giving her a hug. "Now go get 'em, tiger!" She slapped Astrid on the butt.

"Ruff!"

"You call my name all the time, the neighbors are going to think we're a couple and that I'm really good in bed."

"Ah, pretty sure the neighbor knows I'm more into him," she said, giggling.

"Touche," Ruff said, pointing a finger gun at her. "Ready, set, study!"

"I _am_ going to fail all my tests," she moaned, stumbling back to her room. She flopped back onto her bed and cast a weary eye over her spread of schoolwork. "I can't wait until I graduate."

She picked up her phone and toyed with it. She opened up text and sent a heart emoji before she could change her mind.

A heart and smiley face appeared in return. She grinned.

He'll be alright.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little exposition this chapter... starting to get an idea of why this fic is titled the way it is ;)


	5. Chapter 5

"So, have you decided what you're going to wear?"

Astrid continued clicking furiously at the keys of her laptop. "Huh? What?"

"Tonight. Have you figured out a costume?"

She crinkled her nose. "I don't wanna wear a costume."

Ruff looked scandalized. "You _have_ to wear a costume, it's a Halloween party! You're going to look silly if you don't."

She stopped typing and gave Ruff a look, arching her eyebrow. "I'm going to look silly if I _don't_ wear a costume? Did you hear what you just said?"

"Midterms week is over, you need to let loose and party it up. Part of that is wearing a costume to a costume party and I'm not letting you say no."

She huffed and fell back against the couch, glancing at the ceiling. "I don't own any costumes so I'd have to buy one and the money mom and dad gave me for this month is already budgeted out and I can't-"

"Do you still have that Viking costume from when Berk East did the school spirit parade?"

She frowned. "I'm not wearing that old thing."

"Why not? It was cute, no one will know it was a mascot costume. You should totally wear that- oh and get your man to coordinate! You can both go as Vikings, it'll be adorable."

"It's probably buried in my old poms stuff, I don't want to go dig that out."

"Excuses excuses. I feel like it's pulling teeth to get you to do anything fun."

"Schoolwork is important."

"So is getting laid."

She gave Ruff another hard look. "I need to have good grades so I can-"

"Heard the spiel before, save your breath. Midterms are over, pressure's off for now. You can have fun for one night."

Astrid sighed and closed her laptop.

She had to remind herself this was the way Ruff showed she cared. At a time when she wanted to seal herself away and never see another human being again the summer of graduating year, Ruff was there, dragging her kicking and screaming into being functional. She resisted every step of the way and instead of giving up Ruff only tried harder.

They were best friends all of high school, in an opposites attract sort of way. Ruff was reckless, partied hard and barely made it through most of her classes. She was not unintelligent however, possessing a sharp sense of street smarts that Astrid could never follow, though Ruff tried to mentor her.

In return Astrid tutored Ruff in her failing classes and the symbiotic relationship somehow worked. She always figured Ruff could do extremely well in class if she cared to try. She didn't have to spell things out, one explanation was all Ruff ever needed to get correct answers. Ruff simply didn't place schoolwork high on her priority list and Astrid always thought it was a shame, knowing Ruff could shine if she only applied herself.

On the other hand Astrid knew Ruff was far more advanced than her with people relations and knowledge on how the world worked. Ruff was adept at reading body language and feeling out social situations in a way Astrid couldn't keep up with if she tried. Sometimes it made her frustrated because she could tutor Ruff in academics and the facts were there in plain black and white, but reading people was all gray scale. On her darker days Astrid was envious of Ruff's easy ability to make friends and grace everyone with her fun social butterfly personality.

Then there were days like this, when she recalled all the things Ruff did to support her. Her own words to Hiccup stuck out in her mind. Ruff was extending out her hand, like she always did when Astrid felt like she was drowning. This time she was going to take it without hesitation.

"All right, you win. Care to take a trip down memory lane?"

A brilliant grin lit up Ruff's face. "You know it, lady."

About an hour and a half later the two girls were on a mission, digging through falling apart cardboard boxes in the stuffy attic of Astrid's childhood home. She coughed as dust plumed up from the box she rifled through.

"Ugh, high school wasn't _that_ long ago, this is making me feel old."

"Wait until you graduate college. Suddenly you have to be an adult, you'll have no idea what all those youths are talking about with their slang and you'll be yelling at them to get off your lawn," Ruff said, rummaging through an adjacent box. She snorted and started to laugh.

"What'd you find?" Astrid said suspiciously.

"Oh, only a precious widdle baby picture of you!" Ruff held up her prize, a school photo featuring a gap-toothed Astrid from second grade.

"Gimmie that!" Astrid said, swiping for Ruff's treasure.

"No! I'm gonna take it home with us and hang it over my bed."

"Eww, that's just weird! You wanna look at my face while you do all the sinful things you do in your bed?"

"Good point, we'll hang it over the couch. Not that that's any better..."

"Oh my God," Astrid moaned, covering her face. "Please, not the couch, don't tell me you-"

"Oh yeah. Me and Snot? Yeeeeeah."

"We have to burn the couch. Kill it with fire."

"Ah, then we're going to have to just burn down the whole apartment, because-"

"No. No no no I don't want to know," Astrid said, shaking her head. "I'm just going to pretend you're a celibate nun and our general living spaces have never been defiled."

"I envy the strength of your imagination."

"I might actually cry."

"We mostly cleaned up everything... I mean, I wouldn't advise taking a black light to the apartment or anything..."

Astrid made a gagging noise. "Can we just find the costume and get out of here? I will never be able to touch any surface of that apartment again. We're going in there with fifty cans of Lysol."

"Should probably make it more like eighty."

"The extra thirty make a difference? I am in severe need of brain bleach."

"Hey, is this it?" Ruff said, setting a pair of red and white pom poms on the floor and holding up a fluffy fur covered boot.

"Yes!" Astrid said. "At least, that's part of it. Is the rest in there?"

Ruff dug around some more. "Here's the other boot. Oh look! It's your old pom uniform! I don't even know where mine is. We looked smoking hot in these," she said, holding up red and white spandex.

"Wow, that sure takes me back," Astrid said, smiling.

"I think I found the skirt. Yeah, it's got the skull belt with it. You should probably just wear the leather underskirt and not the spikes though, if you plan on getting up close and personal with a certain boy tonight."

Astrid flushed and peeked into the box beside Ruff. "Oh, I forgot it was a crop top. I can't wear this!"

"Girl, please. This is tame compared to some of the costumes people wear. You looked adorable in it back then and you'll make Hiccup's jaw drop now."

"Are the leggings in there at least? I don't want to have bare legs and midriff."

"Yeah they're in here. The headband is too."

"Well, I guess, if this is my only option," Astrid said, looking over the old costume.

"You'll look great. Hiccup will like it, guaranteed."

"If it's Ruff approved, how can I go wrong."

"That's the old Berk East Vikings spirit," Ruff said, winking.

ooo

"Tell me why we're doing this again?"

"Because Ruff doesn't take no for an answer."

"Your roommate is... um..."

"Yeah. I know." Astrid scanned along the racks of costumes. "I'm not seeing anything specifically Viking," she said, glancing around.

"Do I have to go as a Viking? I don't really _look_ like a Viking..."

"Ruff said matching costumes would be cute."

"True, it would be, but I'm not really the type that likes to play dress-up, so-"

"Funny, neither am I, but since I got strong-armed into it I'm taking you down with me."

" _Greeeat_."

"Hmm... hey look at this!" She held up a bag with a Robin Hood costume. "You could totally use this. It has a laced green tunic, brown pants, and a belt. Just don't wear the hat."

"I guess that could work," Hiccup said.

"Do you have any boots?"

"I have a pair of brown work boots that I wear at the hardware store."

"Perfect. Now we just gotta find you a helmet."

"There's a wall of assorted hats and stuff over there." He pointed. She wandered over with him trailing behind.

They poked through wigs, makeup, and all manner of accessories when she held up a horned helmet triumphantly. "Look what I found. It's actually pretty solid too."

"You're sure about this, huh?"

"If I have to go in costume so do you."

"And so it starts," he said with humor.

"And so what starts?" she asked tartly.

"Me tagging along after you while you're going shopping, coordinating couples costumes..."

She narrowed her eyes. "Do you not want to come?"

"No, no it's fine. Parties are great, love it."

"Your sarcasm knows no bounds, does it. I sort of... owe Ruff, and I don't want to go alone. I get hit on by a _ton_ of frat boys."

"Parties! Man, am I excited for tonight, I mean thank goodness Ruff invited us both, am I right? Can't let you brave it all by yourself, that's for sure-"

"You are not transparent at all."

"Oh, good, for a moment there I was worried you had me all figured out."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, shoving the helmet into his hands.

ooo

"Well? How do I look?"

He emerged from his room and she scanned him up and down, really trying to keep the pleased grin off her face.

"You um... you look good," she said, her voice higher pitched than usual.

He frowned. "You sure? You sound weird."

"You look _really_ good," she said, an approving eye taking in the whole ensemble. The tunic fit his shoulders well, the lacing at the collar was quite sexy, and the belt around his waist emphasized his trim build. "That Viking helmet is hot."

He blushed, looking down. "Oh, well... okay?"

"Yeah, we might not even make it to the party," she said, a predatory grin on her face.

" _Milady_ ," he said, pretend scandalized.

"Oh stop, you like it," she laughed. "Turn around so I can see how those pants fit from behind."

Red stained his cheeks and she guessed he wasn't used to such blatant praise about his body or appearance.

"What about you? I haven't seen your costume yet."

"It's a surprise," she said, winking.

"I hate surprises."

"Not this one, you won't."

"Promises promises."

Toothless wrapped himself around her legs.

"Hey buddy," she said, picking up the bundle of purring fluff. "Ready for pets?" Toothless wiggled in her arms and spread out, presenting his belly for scratches. After a bit he was ready to get down and decided batting at one of his toys on the floor was a better use of his time.

"I should dig out his laser pointer. It's his favorite toy," he said, watching Toothless play.

"Is it in one of these boxes?" she asked, stepping toward a stack. "I bet he's hilarious chasing after it."

"Oh yeah, it's great. Especially when you make it disappear on him. He gets so confused and he turns all around. It almost keeps me more entertained than him."

"Let's look for it then. We have some time before the party."

"Fine, but can I change out of this?"

"Okay," she said, disappointed.

"You'll see me in this plenty tonight."

"But I like seeing you in it now."

"Deal with it," he teased, retreating into his room and closing the door.

She poked around the top box, noting most of it was filled with dishes he had yet to put away. She lifted it off the stack and set it on the floor. The second box looked more promising, mostly a collection of odds and ends. She moved a stack of binders and frowned, pulling out what looked like a prosthesis, but not one she had ever seen before. Instead of a mock shape of a human leg, it was mostly metal. She turned it around in her hands, inspecting it, curiosity getting the better of her.

He opened the door and she jumped, knowing she had been caught. His eyes instantly snapped to the object in her hands.

"This is kinda cool. Is this a special one? I know they make those curved ones for runners but I've never seen one like this."

"Ah... no. It's not special. It's just my spare leg, in case anything happens to this one." His voice was tight and controlled but she was too interested in the spare to pay attention.

"It's kinda cool looking. Oh, you should wear this one with your costume! It would look _so_ awesome! Like a real Viking!" She glanced up at his face, which had gone ashen. "Hiccup? Is something wrong?"

"I can't wear that."

She frowned. "Does it not fit right or something?"

"It's fine."

"Then why couldn't you-"

"I don't wear that one."

"It would just be for one night."

Instead of answering, he stepped forward and took it from her hands, avoiding her gaze and mumbling a meek 'sorry' under his breath. His hands clenched around it and he darted back into his bedroom. She followed him, his strange behavior causing her mild alarm. She rested against the door frame as he placed the leg in his closet, next to a pair of crutches.

"Did I cross a line?" she asked softly, her face showing her concern.

He scratched the back of his head, still unable to look at her. "No, it's- you didn't know, it's fine. I forgot it was in that box. It's fine-"

"You are anything but fine right now."

"I'm sorry. I'm okay. It's okay. Just... I don't wear that one anymore."

"Okay," she nodded, wary, unsure how to deal with this side of him and worried she would distress him further. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything, at all."

"I am, though. You obviously had a reaction and I didn't mean to upset you."

"Not upset."

"Ha," she said. "Could've fooled me."

"I'm assuming you didn't find Toothless's laser pointer?"

She narrowed her eyes at his diversionary tactic, but let it go. "No, sorry."

"Ah well, some other time."

"Are you hungry? I have about an hour before I have to get ready."

He nodded. "I could eat. I don't really have much here though."

"I was thinking on campus."

He picked up his jacket, still a bit sullen. "Sounds good to me."

They walked together in an uneasy silence. His hands were crammed into his jacket pockets and she tentatively gripped his arm. After a few paces he slid his hand out and laced their fingers together. The anxiousness in her chest loosened slightly and she hoped her obvious misstep wasn't enough to scare him off.

They were so new to each other and she was still learning how to feel him out. She wasn't sure if she should bring it up again, try to apologize more, or let all of it slide. His extreme passiveness threw her for a loop and she was uncertain how to handle this personality trait. All of her friends were boisterous, loud, and attacked problems head on, much like she did. Avoidance was not something she was familiar with.

He squeezed her hand, like somehow he knew she worried about the fragile balance they were forging. She drew herself in closer to him and squeezed his hand back. Even though he was passive, she was not and she had to make sure they were alright. She worked up her courage and glanced at his face.

"You okay?" she asked, nothing but kind concern in her features.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." He shook her hand reassuringly. "Don't worry."

He didn't elaborate and she didn't push further. If his conversation with Heather was any indication, he was going to be a tough nut to crack. Luckily she was more than willing to put the time in.

They reached the little coffee shop that was quickly becoming their favorite place to meet between classes. It had good coffee and an array of pastries and artisan sandwiches. Once they finished ordering they took a seat and he seemed to relax.

"So, who's all coming tonight? Your roommate?"

"Yeah, her and her brother, Tuff. Her kinda sorta not boyfriend has to work."

"That's quite a label."

"It's quite a... relationship. Friends with benefits sort of thing."

"Doesn't want to tie herself down, huh?"

"She likes to party, that one. I don't really get it though, I know she likes him."

He shrugged. "It's impossible to really know everyone's inner motivation."

"True. Unless they communicate and let you in."

He took a sip of his coffee and glanced out the window. "Yeah, I suppose so."

She wrinkled her nose. "I could never just be friends with benefits."

His glaze slipped back to her. "No?"

"I don't really like to share," she grinned. "If I'm gonna be with someone, they have to be all mine."

His eyes widened. "Oh, no, is that what, did you think?" he pointed back and forth between them. "Is that what you thought was happening here? Because I have about three girls on the side, I didn't think you cared."

She laughed and shook her head. "You're really lucky I can tell you're joking. Otherwise I'd have to go head hunting."

"Mine or theirs?" he said, a look of mock worry on his face.

"Your head is too cute to ruin," she winked.

"Thank goodness for that."

"Yeah, I kind of want you around."

"You have no idea how weird it is to hear those words," he joked.

She tilted her head. Again with the self depreciation. "Is it really that weird?"

A look crossed his face, like he realized his statement closer to truth than it was jest and he closed in. "Nah. I'm really glad you like spending time with me."

"I do," she said earnestly.

"I like spending time with you too," he said, a genuine smile on his face and once again a perfect deflection. She had a moment of clarity that she might be completely out of her depth.

He truly was a mystery, one that she desperately wanted to solve because it was so novel and intriguing. Though his humor was always on point, it functioned as the perfect defense mechanism and emotional armor, hiding something damaged underneath. Just how damaged, she wasn't sure. She approached anything new with her usual tenacity, resolve, and penchant for perfectionism. Cracking his code would be no different.

It struck her that Ruff should spend some time with him, if her brazen roommate could put aside the shameless flirting for two minutes to get to know him. Ruff read people so much better than she could and it was possible Ruff's insight would catch things she did not.

She checked her phone for the time. "We should probably head back. It's gonna take me awhile to get all this ready."

"Gotta doll yourself up for all those frat boys, huh?"

"Nah, just you," she said, tapping his nose with her index finger.

He shook his head and grinned, collecting their empty cups and plates.

ooo

"Ready?" Astrid's voice floated from her bedroom.

"Nah, take your time. Hiccup and I are just fine out here." Ruff grinned at him and placed her hands on her hips. "This was a good idea. I am so proud of myself."

He scratched the back of his head nervously. "Ah..."

"I mean, look at those pants on you, and that helmet. You might not be a beefcake but you are _adorable_."

"Thanks? I think?"

She circled him like a shark circling blood in the water. "Yeah, I'm jealous. Me likey."

"Are you almost done?" he called to Astrid, watching Ruff over his shoulder.

"Yeah! I'm just trying to fix my hair."

" _Please_ hurry," he said, jiggling his foot anxiously, then yelped and jumped about three feet. He spun around and gaped at Ruff, who was grinning at him sheepishly.

"Ruff, what are you doing to the poor boy?" Astrid said, hearing his distress call from the other room.

"Nothing!" she said, hands in the air in a show of innocence. "Don't worry about it."

"Copping a feel is not _nothing_!" he said, frantically smoothing the back of his tunic.

"Can't let Astrid have all the fun," she pouted.

"Did she grab your ass?" Astrid said, appearing in the doorway. "Ruff, you gotta stop scaring all the boys away. I mean, I don't blame you, he does have a fantastic ass, but this one's kinda sensitive."

She grinned at him and noted the awed look on his face- eyebrows raised, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Eyes trailing down, lingering at her middle, taking in her legs, back up to her face.

"You like?" she asked, twirling for him. The only reaction he could manage was nodding dumbly. "I guess you were right, Ruff."

"What do I win?" she asked, giving Hiccup another pointed once over.

"Bragging rights," Astrid said. "I think Hiccup's had enough of you for one day."

"It was one tiny little ass grab. I barely got a cheek."

"It was full palm," he said incredulously.

Astrid burst out laughing.

"How are you not concerned your roommate is feeling me up?!"

"Because she's actually harmless. And you give her a reaction so she's gonna keep doing it."

"Yeah, quit being so adorably flustered and it won't be as fun. Don't you get how this works?"

Red crept into his face and he looked suitably ruffled.

"He really is cute as a button, Astrid. You should keep this one around."

"I intend to. Maybe you should quit invading his personal space and giving him anxiety."

"Fine, fine, I'll keep my hands to myself. No fun at all."

The three of them put on coats and he placed an arm around Astrid's waist.

"Where's Tuff?" Astrid asked as they headed out to the sidewalk, the house party located a convenient three blocks away.

"Meeting us there," Ruff said.

"So, I'm assuming you're wearing that angel costume ironically?" Hiccup spoke up. "You know, because I didn't realize angels were in the habit of grabbing ass."

Ruff's grin was a mile wide. "Kid has some spice to him, doesn't he," she said, addressing Astrid. "I _l_ _ike_ it."

"Yeah, he's got a mouth on him," Astrid said, gripping his chin and puckering his lips.

"All the better to eat you with, my dear," he retorted.

" _Hiccup_!" Astrid said, aghast.

Ruff threw her head back with laughter, giving him a high five. "Props dude, love it."

"I think you're rubbing off on him, Ruff."

"Oh I'm rubbing on him all right..."

Astrid groaned and Hiccup snorted.

"You kind of set her up for that one, you can't be mad," he said.

"You're not supposed to be on her side! Maybe getting you two together was a mistake."

"You never learn your lesson, do you," Ruff said affectionately. "Sooner or later they all come over to my side."

"Don't be so hasty, Miss Grabby Hands," he said cautiously.

"You really are precious. I was just giving you the Ruff seal of approval- only the best for my bestie."

"Glad we got that established," he said with a playful roll of his eyes.

They could hear the party before they could see it, music and voices blending into a noisy cacophony weaving through the chilly night air. As they approached more people dressed in costumes were walking up the driveway. Once inside the considerably warmer house they found a pile of coats and added theirs to it. Hiccup took Astrid's phone and put it in his pocket.

"Well, where's the keg, let's get this party started," Ruff said, rubbing her hands together. "Last year they had a barrel in the living room up here and the mixed drinks at the bar downstairs."

The living room was indeed occupied with said keg and several people milling around it. Ruff expertly poured three solo cups of beer for them, useful skills learned from bartending as a side job.

"Tuff should be here somewhere," she said. "I'm assuming he's downstairs."

Thumping bass filtered up from the basement where the actual party was held. The house was old and worn from years of college boys throwing parties and generally trashing the place. The basement door was heavy and chipped, the foundation built with stone as they descended creaky wooden steps. The three of them pressed to the wall as a group of people started climbing the stairs to get more beer. One of the guys made kiss noises at Astrid and Hiccup narrowed his eyes and frowned, placing a hand on her waist.

"Did you think I was joking about getting hit on by frat boys?" she said, smirking at him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Though the unwanted attention was annoying, secretly she was pleased at the obvious jealousy on his face.

They continued on, the steps ending in a smaller room that held the makeshift bar, a larger room beyond that where most of the crowd was dancing and clustered together in groups. People huddled around the bar, doing shots and ordering mixers. Several of the hosts, the boys who lived in the frat house, were behind the counter making drinks and accepting money.

It was dim except for a bit of mood lighting as Ruff scanned the sea of bodies. A boy in a red devil costume leaned up against the wall, looking at his phone in one hand and holding a solo cup in the other.

Tuff!" Ruff shouted over all the noise, waving at him. He looked up and grinned.

"Hey, sis," he said, as Ruff ran up to him and gave him a hug. "Ready to get wasted?"

"Hell yeah, bro," she said. "Let's do this!"

Astrid took a sip of her beer and glanced around. "So what do we do now?"

"There's dancing over there and upstairs they have beer pong, flip cup, quarters, fuck the dealer... I don't know. Whatever people want to play," Tuff said.

"You should dance," Ruff said, pointing at Hiccup and Astrid.

Hiccup shook his head. "Ah, I don't really dance..."

"Come on, you don't even have to do anything. Just stand there and let Astrid do her thing. She's very good, promise," Ruff said, winking suggestively.

Astrid smiled into her cup and Hiccup did the flustered thing again. He gave her a look.

"What? She's not wrong." Astrid shrugged.

"Oh, God," he said, squeezing his cup tighter.

"Fine, how about some flip cup then. You might as well skip beer pong, Ruff wins every time."

"Fuck yeah I do. My skills surpass even the most seasoned frat boy."

"I didn't realize that was something to brag about, but okay," he said. "Flip cup it is."

Once upstairs, the ping pong table was set up in the garage, fuck the dealer was around the dining room table and they found some space in the kitchen to play flip cup. Ruff heard the siren call of beer pong and she and Tuff wandered into the garage. "Imma get a ton of people shitfaced tonight!" she whooped in excitement.

"That's my sister," Tuff said proudly.

Astrid snorted and looked at Hiccup. "Well? Ready?"

He peeked into her cup. "You have less than I do."

"Should've drank faster," she taunted.

"I'm pacing myself."

"This is a party, you're supposed to drink."

"All right fine. Prepare to be impressed."

They held up their cups and she counted down. "Go!"

Though she had less in her cup, he managed to down his a slight bit faster than her and he placed his cup on the countertop edge, flicking it over and laughing when it ended up on the floor. She didn't fare much better, both of them scrambling to be the winner. After much fumbling, she managed to land hers right side up. She cheered and jumped up and down. "In your _face_ , Haddock!"

"All right, you win, you win," he conceded, smiling at her exuberance. "Two out of three?"

"Hell yeah. I'm gonna wipe the floor with you."

"We'll see about that. Maybe I _let_ you win."

She looked scandalized, like the mere thought of an illegitimate victory was the worst possible thing that could happen to her. "Refill. Now." She shoved her cup into his hands.

"As milady commands."

He returned with two cups and her face wore the same look of determination that it had when she went to state with the volleyball team and the championship was on the line. Competition was competition, no matter how insignificant the game. She narrowed her eyes over the rim of her cup.

"One, two, three, go!"

This time they each downed the contents at a similar pace and frantically placed their cups on the edge of the counter in fits of giggles, both desperate to best the other. After several attempts, the swift influx of alcohol making their coordination just a bit fuzzy, his was the first to land topside. She shoved him in the chest with a laugh and he raised his fists in the air triumphantly.

"Again. One more time," she insisted. "I _will_ beat you."

"Can you handle more?" he asked.

"I can do this all night, pal."

He raised his eyebrows at her and grinned, sauntering off to obtain yet another refill.

As they held up their cups, she smiled deviously. "Care to make this next one a little more interesting?"

"What does the lady have in mind?"

"A little wager, sir."

"I'm not really a betting man, but for you I would do anything."

"That is exactly the point," she said, tipping her cup. "If I win, you dance with me."

He considered this. "Okay, okay. And if I win? You spend the night in my bed."

"There was a good chance that was going to happen anyway," she teased.

"I didn't finish- and I get to choose what we do while we're there."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "That's quite the ante, but I accept. I _never_ back down from a challenge."

"So what you're saying is you're easily manipulated."

"Hey!"

"It's okay. I think you'll really like what I have in mind."

"Well, you'll just have to fantasize about that while we're dancing." Her eyes twinkled. "Ready to watch my face while I celebrate your defeat?"

"Let the best man win."

"I think you mean lady."

"You heard what I said."

"Such trash talk. I'm gonna gloat so hardcore when I win."

"Then let's settle this. Ready?"

"Ready when you are, loser."

He shook his head, smiling at her. "Go!"

It was neck and neck. No giggles this time as the wager turned innocent bragging rights into a prize that must be won at all costs. She was dead set, tongue poking out in concentration as beer made her focus hazy. She wished she had eaten something more substantial other than lunch, a better base of food would have staved off the tipsiness for longer. He was close, his cup almost landed upright but then toppled over and he groaned in frustration. She flipped hers immediately after, clenching her fists and watching intently as it popped right side up and stayed.

"Yes!" she screeched, pumping her fist in the air and dancing all around him. "Oh yes yes, prepare to shake your groove thang, Haddock! You _so_ lost!"

He shook his head in good humor and watched her victory strutting.

"Alright, alright, you win! You win," he laughed. "I'm a man of my word, I'll dance with you, but I'm going to need a shot of liquid courage before I do. I'm not very coordinated."

"You'll be fine, I'll do most of the work," she said suggestively.

"Funny, that's what would've happened if I won, too."

She shoved him in the shoulder. "Hey!"

"I'm kidding, I wouldn't do that to you. Actually, I was kind of planning the opposite and I bet you're gonna be sad I didn't win."

"Flirt," she said, pinching his cheek.

"It's cute that you think I'm joking."

"Either way, I won, you have to dance. Let's go get a shot and then I'm gonna see what you're made of."

"Awkwardness," he said flatly. "I really hope this is super disappointing for you."

She grabbed his hand and tugged, heading to the basement. They ordered two shots, Sex on the Beach of course, and she gave him a salacious grin as they clinked their glasses. They tossed it back together and smacked the glasses on the bar.

She turned and beamed at him, eyes bright, as she took him by the hand and led him into the larger room where groups of people were writhing to thumping bass and booming music.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Can we go in a corner or something?" he spoke into her ear over the music. "I want as few people to witness this as possible."

She nodded and they spotted a place against the wall in the back corner. The shot and three cups of beer all in rapid succession were kicking in swiftly and she felt like she was swimming through throngs of people, clutching his hand tightly. Her head spun, woozy and high, lighthearted as a thrill of excitement streaked in her stomach.

She guided him to the wall and made him stand with his back to it. She pressed up against him and wove her arms around his neck, beginning to dance. Most of the music played was mainstream club hits, perfect for grinding. He seemed stiff, his hands on her waist but he didn't move his body much. She thought he'd be more comfortable with her facing him, but as the song switched and began to filter into another one she decided to turn, pressing her ass into his middle and swaying back and forth enticingly. His hands dropped to her hips, gripping tightly.

She grinned and reached her hands behind to place her fingertips on his own hips, encouraging him to follow her motion. She was far more advanced at dancing than him, but to his credit he tried with her guidance, an effect of the alcohol giving him the confidence to move.

She pressed to his chest, his heat transferring to her back as his hands flitted at the waistband of her skirt, fingers holding onto the bare skin of her hips, palm sliding to the front of her stomach then receding to her side.

Times like this made her thankful Ruff forced her into being social. She was ecstatic to have someone worth spending time with to share in the experience- especially when that someone was quite enthusiastic about her plastering her body all over him despite his initial hesitance.

She dipped lower, her upper back gliding against his middle and his hands tightened on her shoulders. Every hitch in his breath, every placement of his hands sultry against her skin sent shocks of pleasure straight between her legs.

She rose and turned to face him, teasing hands on his stomach and sliding them up to his chest, slipping her leg over his right to grind herself on his thigh in a pointed rhythm reminiscent of other activities they could be doing with their pelvises. The music only heightened the passion exchanged between panting breaths, hands everywhere and the urge to get as close as possible. It seemed like every song blaring out of the speakers was explicitly about sex, sending not so subliminal messages about how this night should end.

Alcohol and the very obvious reaction in his pants to her dancing made alluring arguments, enticing her to give in to temptation. She liked him and he seemed to reciprocate her feelings; would it really be so bad to do it just this once?

She dipped to her knees, dropping low like the song suggested, and gazed back up at him from his midsection. He groaned and rolled his head back against the wall, the Viking helmet clinking and sliding further down on his forehead. She placed her hands on his thighs and moved them up his body when she swayed back to her feet, ending at his rib cage. She roped her hands around his back and he tugged her to him, halting her movement to give her an insistent kiss.

She lost herself, fingers twisting in his tunic and head fuzzy. He bucked his hips into hers and she gasped into his mouth, knees almost buckling from the sheer heat building between them. Seemed like he wasn't the only one seduced by their dancing. She _wanted_ him.

"Astrid!"

She reluctantly turned her head at the sound of her name, so wrapped up in him, but Ruff waved at her and she grinned.

"Just one, um- minute, okay?" she shouted to him. He nodded, his expression dark and wanting as he self consciously arranged the front of his tunic, which fortunately was a bit longer and hit at just the top of his thighs.

She stumbled her way over to Ruff, who beckoned at her saucily, and they took a moment to finish out the song. She always liked dancing with Ruff, in high school and present. Admittedly they received a lot of male attention for their efforts, as Ruff was not shy about dancing up on her purposely for said attention and she generally laughed and played along. She glanced back at him and his eyes hadn't left her. She blew him a sloppy kiss and he smirked, shaking his head.

"Hey, let's go upstairs so I can talk to you, okay?" Ruff said into her ear once they were done. Astrid nodded and wobbled back over to him and relayed the plan. He scooted closer to the corner to wait.

Ruff escorted her up the stairs, which she didn't remember being so tippy. Once they were in the kitchen and could hear each other, Ruff poked her in the stomach. "Enjoying yourself?"

This sent her into a fit of giggles.

"Okay, okay, why are you all silly."

"Shhh!" Astrid said, with more giggles. "I'm gonna tell you something."

"How many drinks have you had?"

"Three cups of beer. And a shot. Why."

"You're this tipsy and you've only had three and a shot? I didn't think you were this much of a lightweight."

"Hey, give me a break, I drank them all in a row and I didn't have much to eat today. And I'm not a fish drinker like you."

Ruff snorted. "The correct phrase would be 'drink like a fish' and yes, I do consider drinking as one of my favorite pastimes and I've built up an enviable tolerance but seriously... you saw all of your drinks being poured and you never set them down, right?"

"Hiccup got the beer and I saw the shot being made, I'm not dumb _jeez,_ Ruff," she said, shaking her head.

"Okay, okay. So he's been watching out for you then?"

She giggled some more. "Oh yeah, he's been _watching_ me alright."

"What were you going to tell me?"

Her eyes twinkled and she leaned in, conspiratorially. "I think- I think I'm going to sex. I'm going to have the sex. With Hiccup tonight. I'm thirsty, I'm gonna get another drink." She wheeled around, intending to hit up the keg.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up drunkface Astrid," Ruff said, grabbing her arm and tugging her back to the wall. "What are you planning on doing?"

"Sex. I'm gonna do it," Astrid said, looking very pleased with herself. "He wants it too."

"I'm sure he does, he's a guy after all. Here's the thing though, don't do it."

She gave Ruff an incredulous look. "Did you just say ' _don't do it?_ ' Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not joking, Astrid. You can't even _say_ it right, there's no way you should be having it."

"You told me to sex him the first night we met!"

"First of all, I was mostly teasing you. Second, that's when I thought it was just going to be a one night stand. It's not just a one night stand, you genuinely seem to care for this guy a lot and this is probably not the right time to introduce sex into the thing you two have going on, while being drunk on top of it."

"I'm not drunk."

"Fine, you're not smashed, but you are tipsy."

"Yeah... okay maybe, a little kinda tipsy."

"Exactly. So, how about we not make poor decisions while we're tipsy, huh? You leave that to me. You're supposed to be the sensible one."

"But, he's so _cute_ ," she said, pouting.

"He is very cute, especially in that Viking helmet. But really, if you still plan on letting anything happen tonight, sober up before he throws it in you. Do you even have a condom?"

"Um... no."

"Does he?"

"I... don't know."

"You didn't think this through, did you."

"Um... no."

"I can't tell you what to do, but if you need anything I have a stash in the bathroom in my makeup case."

"When did you start making sense."

"I've made sense for awhile, I just choose to hide it under sarcasm and sexual innuendo."

"I never would have thought _you'd_ be the love guru."

"Hey, all my experience just means I've been around the block a few times and I know how this works. Let me impart all my wisdom on you, young grasshopper, and right now I am strongly advising against you having sex after drinking. I don't think this is how either of you want it to happen."

"No, I guess not," she said sullenly, playing with the end of her braid.

"Did I harsh your buzz?"

She shrugged. "A little."

"Good. You don't drink often, and I have nothing against consensual drunk sex, but not for the first time. I don't want to see this get messed up, okay?"

She nodded, looking down. "Okay."

"Do you want some water?"

"Yeah, I'm parched," she said. They filled a solo cup with tap water from the kitchen. She felt better, more clear headed, even if her balance was still off kilter.

"I better get back downstairs to Hiccup."

"You go get that hottie Viking," Ruff said, winking. "Do you need help getting down the stairs?"

"That might be advisable," she said.

"Look at you, even drunkface Astrid still has a nerdy vocabulary."

Ruff escorted her down the stairs and into the basement. She momentarily worried when she couldn't spot him, then realized it was because someone was standing in front of him. She could just view the horned helmet behind some girl in a black cat costume.

"Oh _hell_ no," she said with an alarming growl. She stalked over and caught a glimpse of his face; he looked uncomfortable and was shaking his head.

The dim lighting of the room made it difficult to see, but she figured he was telling the girl he wasn't interested in dancing with her. She hurried to his side and cat girl gave her an unimpressed once over. She injected venom into her iciest stare and wrapped her arm around his waist. His cheeks colored and he shrugged apologetically at the interloper, mouthing a 'sorry.' The girl turned her nose up, melting back into the crowd of dancers.

"I can't leave you alone for one minute?" she said into his ear, teasing. "I come back and you have girls all over you."

"Hey, I was being good. She came along and asked if I wanted to dance. She was really persistent but I told her no and that I was waiting for you."

"Good," she purred. "You're all mine, Haddock."

She gripped the collar of his shirt, tugging him into her and planting a rough possessive kiss on him, hoping that dumb girl was watching. She pulled back and smirked at the glazed look on his face, eyes dilated with lust and swollen lips parted.

She rolled her body against him in time with the music, hands in her hair, hips swaying, generating sparks of heat between them like steel striking flint. If he thought she was dancing sensually before, she proved the prior moves were just the beginning of this particular skill set of hers. She knew precisely how to roll and dip her hips, pose in perfect feminine silhouettes, and pinpoint the exact parts of her body to rub against his to heighten his arousal.

A song with a slower pulsing beat came on and she used the opportunity to purposely draw out her movements into sultry rocking motions against him, her back to his chest. He placed his palms on her hips and she settled her hands over his, glancing at him over her shoulder as they swayed together in tandem. His lips grazed the back of her neck, stubble scratching her skin and tingles skittered down her spine.

She could feel his restless energy as she worked him, his hands guided her hips, spinning her around to face him. He slid a hand behind her neck and stole a searing kiss. She dug her fingertips into his abdomen and brushed her chest against his, then let her hands wander across his body in response to his inability to keep his hands off of her. She was drowning in the experience, every touch sending streaks of lightning straight to her core and by the looks of it she was effectively taking him right down with her.

Once they started making out it was extremely hard to stop. Though she attempted to keep her rhythmic motions to the music, they dissolved into needy pawing at each other more than actual dancing.

Normally not one for this level of public displays of affection, the alcohol did its trick and lowered just about every inhibition she had. His hands were gripping her ass and one slid its way back up to squeeze her breast and she hissed and bit his lower lip.

Lust took over every immediate sense, clouded out rationality and made her leap over unspoken lines. She nipped at his jaw, placed her palm against the front of his pants and stroked up firmly and he nearly came undone, bucking into the heel of her hand, groan lost into the thumping bass.

She barely had time to blink as he flipped them, pushing her against the wall with his body and claiming her lips, tongue forcefully inserted into her mouth and hand diving under her skirt. She canted into his touch and gripped his wrist.

"Maybe we should get out of here?" she suggested, nibbling his earlobe and breathing hot against his cheek. He nodded and grabbed her hand, tugging her through the crowd and she could barely keep up with his long strides. There was no trace of a smile on his face as he led them up the stairs to search for their coats.

"Hand me my phone and I'll let Ruff know we're leaving," she said. He gave it to her and after one shaky handed text shot off to her roommate they were outside in the brisk night air, determinedly headed toward the apartment.

The chill did nothing to extinguish the fire raging between them and he said nothing as he clutched her hand tightly through his urgent pace.

She tried to keep the smirk off her face. They participated in quite a few in depth make out sessions but she had never seen him this riled up. He generally was polite and respectful even in the most passionate moments they had shared so far, and she was starting to wonder if he was even capable of getting a little rough and losing control. While they had crossed a few more boundaries, blatantly grabbing him was a line she hadn't breached until tonight. The knowledge her dancing drove him into such a state thrilled her.

Once they reached the apartment he fumbled with his keys at the door, hands trembling from adrenaline and alcohol. He finally got it open and tugged her inside, barely registering the door shutting before he attacked her mouth with his own. After a moment he pulled away with a loud smack and flicked the door locked as a quick afterthought. Eyes dark and intense, he placed his hands on her shoulders and backed her into his bedroom.

A few more paces and she was shoved onto his bed, bouncing on the mattress. The helmet was tossed aside with a heavy clunk onto the floor and he was on top of her, kissing her everywhere, a flurry of hands and movement, tongue and breath and weight against her, nipping the bare skin around her navel. She drank up all of it, sighing and gripping his tunic, fingers catching in the lacing at the collar.

He sat up for a moment to tug off her fluffy boots, throwing them over his shoulder. She slid her legs around his waist, crossing her ankles behind his back. His hips ground into hers with need, making her pulse race and her head spin. Ruff's warning rattled around somewhere in the back of her mind but the insistent sharp ache between her legs made it easy to ignore.

He stripped other elements of her costume away, the skull belt tossed onto the floor and her shirt pushed up over her bra and his mouth was on her, all teeth and tongue. She gripped his hair in her fists, knees clenched at his waist. She arched into him, chasing every intoxicating sensation, every scrape of his teeth on her collarbone and wet heavy pass of his tongue on her neck.

He knelt up, eyes raking over her figure and hands dipping underneath her skirt to pull down her leggings and underwear in one swoop, tossed aside just as carelessly as the rest of her items. She rolled her head back as he wasted no time, fingers sinking in right where she ached the most. Her hips instinctively jerked toward him, inching into his lap. She reached one hand behind her head and gripped his pillow, the other clamped onto his arm, his bicep flexing underneath her palm due to his movement. Her spine naturally arched for him as his other hand slipped underneath her lower back, fumbling for the clasp of her skirt-

-when a light knock descended on his front door.

"Hiccup? Hiccup, dear..."

" _Fuck_ ," he swore fiercely, yanking his hand away and flipping off the bed faster than she'd ever seen him move. Her legs flopped to the bed and she felt a dull unfulfilled ache throb in her nether regions at the untimely interruption. He flung her leggings and underwear to her and attempted to hide the situation in his pants.

"Shit shit shit _shit_..."

Another knock. "Hiccup?"

"Just a second, Mom!"

She bolted upright. _Mom_? She scrambled for her underwear, yanking them up and grimacing at the lingering dampness. He was out the door and she tugged on the boots, hoping it would look convincing enough. Head throbbing, nothing sobered her more quickly than being busted by a parent.

She had just scooted out of his bedroom and closed the door to hide the evidence of what they had been up to when he let his mother into the apartment. She was a tall woman, he only cleared her height by a mere inch, and she held an overflowing laundry basket on her hip.

"Hey, Mom," he said, scratching his head nervously.

"Hello, my dear," she said, setting down the laundry basket. She smiled and placed her purse on the countertop. "I'm sorry to come so late; I would've been by sooner with your laundry but I had quite a night at the Reserve. A barn owl was brought in, poor thing caught in some barbed wire and it took most of the evening to patch him up. You're usually awake this late anyway and I thought I'd swing by so you'd have clean clothes for tomorrow."

"Yeah, ah great. It's, ah, it's fine, don't worry."

"So, who is this?" she asked, turning her gaze on Astrid. If she were at all shocked to see a girl in her son's apartment at this hour she did not show it.

"Ah, this is my- ...Astrid. Um, I mean, this is Astrid," he said, clearly flustered and doing a poor job of hiding it.

"Hello, Astrid," she said, holding out a hand. "I'm Valka, Hiccup's mother."

"Nice to meet you," she said, shaking Valka's hand, noting Hiccup must have inherited his beautiful green eyes from his mother. In fact, she could see much of the familial resemblance in his stature and movements. If he was mysterious, his mother was ten times more so. She had never seen the expression "still waters run deep" personified more accurately than in the woman who stood before them. Valka was genial when she spoke but distant in manner, and though it didn't make Astrid uncomfortable per se, it did give her great insight into explaining some of Hiccup's habits.

"So, why are you two all dressed up?"

"We were at a Halloween party," he explained. "We just got home. You ah, honestly almost missed us."

"Oh, what perfect timing then," she said.

Astrid gave him a look behind Valka, smile forced and eyes wide.

"Um yeah, perfect... timing."

"Well, I don't mean to interrupt, I'll head out then," she said, looking between the two quickly.

"No, it's um, it's no trouble, Mom. Don't worry. Thanks for bringing my laundry."

"Of course, dear," she said, cupping his cheek with a tender smile. She reached for her purse and turned to leave, then stopped and dug around in it. "Oh I almost forgot, your father wanted me to give this to you." She pulled out a check and handed it to him. "It's tuition for next semester."

He furrowed his brows, gazing at the amount on the check. "Mom-"

"I know it's early, don't worry about it. Just deposit it into your savings and use the money when it's due."

He looked up at her, troubled. "But Mom-"

"I'll see you later then," she said, hand reaching for the door.

"This isn't from Dad," he said.

Her hand curled and she turned back around to smile at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Well, it's from both of us, of course."

He shook his head. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but Mom..."

"Please, take the money, dear."

He sighed and placed the check on the counter.

"You are so _talented_. That piece of yours, the one hanging in the Reserve's lobby gets compliments all the time. He's coming around. He's seen your artwork, he knows it's very good-"

"But it won't ever be good enough to justify going against his opinion," he said. "Does he know you wrote that check?"

"Yes."

"Mom."

"Well, he knows I was going to give you some money, maybe just... not how much..."

" _Mom_ ," he said, exasperated. "I can't accept this. I don't want to cause more fighting."

"You won't dear, don't worry. It's my decision, he'll be fine."

He remained unconvinced. "Am I going to get an angry phone call in a few days?"

"Absolutely not. As I said, he's coming around and he's seen your work. Your father is proud of you, whether you want to believe it or not," she said firmly.

He rolled his eyes and set his jaw. "I'll take a page from his book and believe it when I actually see the evidence."

"He loves you," she said, pulling him into a hug. "And I love you too."

"Thanks, Mom," he said, lightly disengaging himself from the embrace. "And thanks for the check, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome." She turned to Astrid. "I'm sorry my dear, I won't take up anymore of your night. It was lovely to meet you."

"It was nice to meet you too," she said, inclining her head as Valka took her leave. She frowned at his back as he leaned against the counter, one hand gripping his hair as he stared down at the check.

He growled in frustration and sighed, setting both his hands down to rest flat on the counter top.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said glumly, turning around to face her. "Sorry, you um... had to witness that. Again. Why can't my family and friends just leave me alone, they're going to scare you off."

She smiled. "You're fine. Everyone always has their own brand of family drama."

"I guess."

"So I take it things aren't the greatest between you and your dad, huh?"

He frowned and picked at the corner of the check. "Ah, nope. No they are not."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. He wasn't thrilled when I decided to go for an art major. Thought I was wasting my money and time and I should've gone for something more prestigious. You know, like engineering or architecture, something suited to my skills. Or maybe _law,_ to follow in his footsteps," he scoffed. "I'm really good at math and stuff, but it just wasn't what I wanted. I like art, I like seeing beauty in everyday objects and I like creating things. We just see the world in completely different ways and it's impossible to see eye to eye."

"That must be so difficult. I'm sure your mother is right though, a father would still love his son."

He gazed at the floor, frown marring his features and she wanted to hug him until he smiled again. "Yeah. But, he _has_ to love me because I'm his kid. That doesn't mean he _likes_ me."

"Hiccup," she said sympathetically, winding her arms around his waist. "Don't think like that. Sometimes parents place a lot of pressure on their kids, wanting what's best for them, but they forget how it's perceived."

He turned to face her, giving her a small smile. "Thanks. You truly are amazing, sticking with me after all this."

"You're entertaining, that's for sure. It's like my own mini soap opera."

"Gee, thanks."

"So, your mother calls you Hiccup too?"

"Ah-" he said, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I thought I'd have earned your real name by now," she teased.

He scratched his head and grimaced. "Um... well... it- it is my real name."

She raised her eyebrows. "...Seriously? I mean, I'm sorry, that sounded bad, I'm not trying to make that sound bad but just...how did your parents come up with that?"

"Yeah. That reaction right there is why I tell people it's a nickname."

"Why don't you just go by your middle name or something?"

"Because that's even worse."

"What-"

"Nope."

"Aw, come on!"

"How about we change the subject?"

"Nah, I like this one. How did you come about this very unique name? You can tell me, I promise I won't laugh."

"Yeah, right." He sighed deeply and paused for a reluctant moment. "Well, I wasn't fully lying about having them, it's just I wasn't so much a 'kid'... My mom's kinda eccentric and didn't really think about the repercussions of her decision. Supposedly the story goes I got the hiccups a lot while Mom was pregnant with me and she nicknamed me baby hiccup, intending to settle on a real name after I was born. Mom and Dad never decided on another name they liked better, and since I was born premature and really tiny, the nickname just stuck."

She giggled at the irritated look on his face and clapped her hands. "Okay but that's actually kind of adorable."

"Thanks for _not laughing._ And no, it's actually kind of dumb and I never tell _anyone_ this so consider yourself lucky."

"Oh, I'm special, is that it?" she said, giving him a grin.

"You are very special."

"Aww, getting sappy on me, Haddock?" She lightly punched his shoulder.

"I don't do sappy, I do sarcasm and bitterness."

"Apparently you don't do your own laundry, either?" she gave him a teasing smirk. "Need your mommy to fold your underwear?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Okay, okay come on now. The laundry machines down the hall are _always_ taken and they're coin op, so my mom does my laundry for me, for free. No need to make fun of me for my less than stellar domestic skills. And she doesn't _fold_ my underwear."

"I see a neat little pair of tightie whities right on top there."

He whirled around and looked at the basket. "I don't wear _tightie whities_."

She laughed at his indignant expression.

"I might be kind of dorky but I'm not _that_ dorky."

"Well then? Boxers or boxer briefs?" she said with a toying smile.

He leaned in and grinned against her lips. "I'd tell you, but I don't think you've earned it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's ridiculously hard to describe dancing. After awhile it gets sort of redundant and there isn't much dialogue to break up the action descriptions. Hope this wasn't too bad to get through? 
> 
> Also, a note about how much Astrid had to drink- I live in a state where drinking is basically a sport. Three beers and a shot is nothing to most people around here. I'm (an embarrassment to my family) a lightweight and three beers in one go and a shot would make me quite tipsy. So, I'm going off the fact that Astrid is female, smaller in stature, and doesn't party it up all the time like Ruff does. She's not supposed to read as wasted, just in that sweet spot of buzzed and giggly. Hope that makes sense :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, the M rating really kicks in this chapter. You're welcome for the fanservice? :)

Lazy fingers caressed her hip, inching her shirt up higher, seeking warm skin and soft flesh.

She wiggled, subtly pressing her hip into his hand and curling up closer to his side. He sat on the loveseat, leaning against the armrest and she laid out with her feet tucked up against the other side. Her prone position highlighted the dip in her waist and the curve of her hip and it seemed he couldn't resist putting his hand on her, distracted while they were watching tv.

Affection like this threw her at first. She still felt the tingling sensation of his fingertips on her lower back from the first night they spent together and she recalled how intimate that gesture had felt. She realized he simply was more tender and open than her former romantic interests and it made her wonder why she ever settled for less. She was getting used to this kind of treatment, almost spoiled.

Her high school boyfriend was a decent guy, but he wasn't nearly as caring and considerate. Almost like he knew he didn't have to try- why would he, quarterback of the football team and lusted after by almost every girl in school? For the most part, it had been an easy relationship. He rarely stepped out of bounds, but he rarely exceeded expectations, either. Affection and creativity were not his strong suits. Not like Hiccup, who was just about the exact opposite of her first boyfriend and possessed qualities she never realized she was looking for.

She placed her palm flat against his stomach, adoring how nice it felt to cuddle and relax. Toothless meowed and jumped up into Hiccup's lap, purring like a lawn mower. He rubbed under Hiccup's chin and fluffed his tail into his owner's face.

"Hey, bud!" he said, moving Toothless' tail. His hand abandoned her hip to pet his cat. "Decided to grace us with your presence, huh?"

Toothless narrowed his eyes at him, but continued to soak up the attention. It was clear to her that for all of Hiccup's snark, he was deeply attached to his cat.

Toothless faced her with a contented look on his kitty features as he purred and let his owner shower him with affection. He turned a few times while kneading with his paws, closed his eyes and settled down in Hiccup's lap. She reached over and scratched under Toothless's chin.

Even though they had only been seeing each other for a few weeks, it struck her how right it all felt. When everything before was like going through the motions, she fit with him naturally, like there was no place else she'd rather be. They spent most evenings together, every chance they could depending on school and work schedules. She was grateful he seemed to be just as into her as she was him and he didn't attempt to hide it. She sighed happily and rubbed her hand on his stomach, stroking with her thumb.

"What was that for?" he asked. She heard his voice reverberate through his chest as her ear pressed against his side.

"Oh, nothing."

"'Nothing' never actually means nothing to girls."

She laughed. "Uh oh, that secret's out. Who told you that one?"

"Experience. Every single woman in my life." He snorted.

"Well then you're quite the astute one."

"I pick up on some things. Other stuff I will never understand."

"Like what?"

"Like how girls can always take an argument and spin it so they're not in the wrong, even if they are."

"That is just a natural born talent inherited with estrogen."

"Or how they can completely change their mind from one moment to the next."

"Whimsy."

"How about all the emotional whiplash."

"Hormones."

"It really is that simple, huh?"

"Girls aren't that hard to figure out, honest."

"Try telling that to the entire male population."

She giggled. "Well, there are things I don't understand about boys."

"Oh? Like what."

"Like common sense.  _Common sense!_  Sometimes you guys do things and you don't think and I just don't understand in what part of your brain did you ever think that was okay?"

"Hey, come on now, that one depends on the guy. I totally have common sense."

"Uh huh. I'll believe it when I see it, Mr. 'takes three times as long to eat his chicken noodle soup because he attempts to use the last clean butter knife as a utensil instead of taking two seconds to wash one spoon'."

"Okay! Okay in my defense, I... just didn't feel like washing a spoon." He grinned sheepishly. "Also I was out of dish soap. Is that a legitimate enough reason for you?"

"I have dish soap at my apartment."

"But that's like, all the way partially down the hall."

"Still would've been faster than watching you fruitlessly stab at noodles with a butter knife like an idiot."

"But not nearly as amusing. Also,  _harsh_."

"But fitting!" she said cheerfully.

"Be my girlfriend." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. She half sat up and looked at him, lips parted and eyebrows raised.

"Sorry! Sorry, I don't know what came over me, I shouldn't have said that, I just, we were-"

"Yes."

He locked eyes with her and a grin slowly spread across his mouth. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend." Warmth spread from her chest down into her fingers and toes at the adorable look he gave her, leaving a pleasant tingling in its wake. He leaned in to give her a slow kiss.

"I mean, I know I'm probably rushing it, but I want us to be exclusive," he mumbled, drawing away.

"What about your three girls on the side?" she teased.

"I cut 'em loose. They don't compare to you."

"You are such a sap," she said fondly. "But you're my sap now."

"You are amazing," he said, dipping back in for another taste.

The situation became a little too amorous for Toothless, who hopped down from Hiccup's lap in a huff.

"Aw, come on Toothless, you always insist on being a little voyeur right up on the bed every other time we make out," he said with a grin. "Can't handle a little kissing now?"

Toothless sniffed and walked away with his nose in the air, like all of this human mating ritual was beneath him.

"What a little punk."

"You make fun of him so much!" she said.

"Ah, he deserves it. But he knows I love him."

"You two have the weirdest relationship."

"Hey, I need someone to take my sarcasm out on. He tolerates me."

"Well, looks like I'm going to have to tolerate you now, too," she said, laughing.

"Yeah, that's all on you. You're kinda crazy, purposely tethering yourself to all this."

"Mm, I like what I see so far."

"Are you sure you're not a dream?"

She pinched him.

"Hey, ow!"

"Nope, feels pretty real to me!"

"You know what else feels real?" he asked, stealing a kiss.

"What?" she said, lingering at his mouth.

"This." He launched a full scale tickle attack and she shrieked and kicked, bucking her hips until she fell off the couch, giggling and puffing her bangs out of her face.

"That was not fair play, mister," she said, catching her breath. "Just you wait, I will have my revenge."

"Really now. That sounds kinda sexy," he teased, leaning over the edge of the couch to gaze down at her.

"Believe me, it's not going to be the least bit sexy." She narrowed her eyes with a chilling grin.

"Okay well now you're just scaring me," he said, pretending to be worried.

"You should be scared."

"I'm pretty sure you could take me. You're incredibly strong for being that tiny. It's not natural."

She picked herself up off the floor and grinned at him. "Determination and hard work. Two things you're not acquainted with."

"Don't discount me yet, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Really now, that sounds kinda sexy," she mocked, repeating his words back at him.

"I did not know you were into roleplay. You think magicians are sexy, huh? I have a black suit, but it's a little plain. I could add some sequins to it-"

"Oh for the love of! No, I don't- Hiccup!"

"I'll get a top hat and put some bunny ears on Toothless-"

"I do not think-"

"You can be my lovely assistant and you can wear some little sparkly number that shows off your legs and I'll saw you in half."

"You are ridiculous."

"Hey, I'm just trying to fulfill your magician fantasy like a good boyfriend," he said, holding up his hands.

She grinned and blushed at that. It felt strange to hear the title said out loud. "Seriously ridiculous."

"I mean, if that's what it takes to get you off-"

All the color drained out of her face.

He frowned. "Astrid?"

She waved her hands frantically. "Sorry! Don't- it's-"

"Something I said?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"We already established that 'nothing' never means nothing."

She shrugged, looking down at the floor.

"Wanna tell me what's up?"

She fiddled with her fingers in her lap. "I- um... it's kind of weird to talk about?"

"Even with your boyfriend?"

She smiled and looked up at him. "You're going to keep saying that, aren't you."

"As many chances as I can get." He grinned back at her. "Just in case you forget."

"I won't forget," she said. "Promise you won't... judge me? Or laugh?"

"Are you really into magicians? I mean I was just teasing but if that's actually your thing-"

"No!" she said, laughing. She knew he was just attempting to lighten the mood. "It's nothing  _weird_. Just... I just..."

"What?"

"I've... well I've never... really... gotten off. I mean, kind of, but not-"

He raised his eyebrows incredulously. "You've never gotten off?"

"Well, not during. I guess. I have... by myself. Like, once."

"Oh... it all makes sense now."

"What does?

"Why you're so uptight."

She smacked him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we need to get you off," he said, avoiding her flying hands. "I bet you'll be the most lovely person after- ow!"

She sat back and crossed her arms with a shrug. "I don't think I can."

"Some women can't," he said carefully. "But you just said you have once. That means  _you_  can."

"What if it's just by myself? What if I can't with a partner?"

"Maybe you just haven't had the right partner," he said, low and too close to her ear. She inhaled sharply.

"I get so nervous."

"That's part of your problem. This is, uh... no one ever likes talking about this kind of stuff, especially on the night they officially become a couple, but your ex, did he not...?"

She went back to fiddling, unable to look at him. "He was alright, but we were just high school kids, you know? We didn't go all the way until senior year, and it just... he couldn't get it and I got frustrated and the more I couldn't figure it out the more anxious I became and soon I just felt like I was setting myself up to fail and why even try and-"

"Whoa, okay. Yeah, you spiraled pretty hardcore."

She nodded. "I just, sort of accepted that maybe it's not for me, maybe I'm not cut out for that."

"That is the saddest thing I've heard in a long time. You deserve to know what it feels like. Don't limit yourself."

"Easier said than done, babe."

"Not when you're with me. Come on." He picked up her hand and stood.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not moving from her perch on the couch.

"Come with me." His eyes were dark and the teasing smile had left his face. He tugged her hand.

"For what?"

"Challenge accepted."

" _Challenge_?" she said. "I am  _not_  a-"

"Stop. This is just you and me. I want to do this for you."

Nerves raced down her spine and pooled low in her belly. "It's probably just going to be a waste of time," she said bitterly.

"Nothing is ever a waste of time with you," he said sincerely. His earnest expression, those wide sweet eyes that held determination and something entirely way too sensual made her body rise off the couch without her permission. He led her into his bedroom and her heartbeat increased in simultaneous trepidation and anticipation.

He guided her to stand in front of the bed. She moved to get on it, but he held her hips to keep her in place as he stood behind her.

"First, I'm going to assume no one ever spent the necessary time on you, am I right?" he asked, his tone husky and soft, shifting her braid aside to kiss on the nape of her neck. Her back involuntarily shivered at his light touch.

"Not... no, I guess not?" she said, closing her eyes. His hands trailed down the sides of her spine and slid under her shirt, lifting it up.

"Whoa, what are you-"

"Taking this off."

"But-"

"Shh. No more talking."

She lifted her arms, allowing him to slip her t-shirt over her head, grateful she had the foresight to wear her lacier black bra. The shirt was tossed aside and fell to the floor in a soft swish.

His fingers traced the grooves of her ribs on her sides and she lowered her head. This was all so strange and new. As far as she could remember, no one had ever done something like this to her before. She was always on her back or facing the person she was with. Somehow this seemed fitting. He was unlike anyone she had ever met and it made sense his style in the bedroom matched his personality.

His hands, wide and warm, dipped into the curve of her waist, settling down to rest flat palms on the swell of her hips. She leaned back instinctively, searching for more contact between them but he kept his own body far enough away from her, like an aching tease. His mouth was busy pecking kisses along her left shoulder and she was certain she had never experienced anything so erotic in her life, though he had barely done anything at all. She never considered her back an erogenous zone, but the way his lips and hands traversed all her contours, he made it so.

His left hand slid over her hip to the front of her jeans, undoing the button. He smoothed the flap aside and tucked his fingers under the waistband of her underwear, placing an open mouthed kiss on the curve where her shoulder met her neck and she gasped, rolling her chest out and clenching her fists. His fingers retreated and she lamented the loss of contact, but he was tugging her jeans from side to side, inching them down her hips and soon they were sliding off. She stepped out of them and kicked them to the side with her foot.

It struck her how gentle his touch was. His fingers flitted across her skin, his hands moved with graceful fluidity. She felt like one of his charcoal sketches, fingertips drawing every curve of her body with reverence.

No one ever touched her this sweetly before, in the past it was always firm and sometimes even rough. It was touch to satisfy a craving, never to satisfy her. She was not surprised her previous partners were unable to get anywhere with her. None of them knew the right combination, none of them ever heightened the sexual fever to this level. She had never been so turned on in her life.

He pressed up against her back and her head lolled onto his shoulder. Unrestricted by jeans, his hand slipped between her legs unimpeded and she breathed in, involuntarily pushing into his palm. The touch was short-lived and she almost groaned in frustration when it left to settle back at her waist. His left hand slid up between them and deftly released the clip of her bra. The tension on her chest slackened and the lace hung loose. He used one finger to swipe the strap off her shoulder, following it down her arm to her elbow. Repeated on the other side. He hooked his finger into the strap, she held out her arms and he untangled it from her, dropping it to the floor.

She immediately crossed her arms over her chest and she heard his soft laugh behind her. His hands looped up around her and gripped her wrists lightly, pulling them down to her sides. She breathed in, fighting the nervousness of feeling so exposed. She wasn't normally this shy, but something about the situation made her feel more laid bare than she had ever been before. He wasn't just undressing her, he was shedding layers of her carefully constructed walls, leaving her defenseless and open. Maybe she was in over her head, maybe she should put a stop to this if she couldn't handle her own emotions, but his touch grounded her, rooted her to the spot and she knew she could no more halt his actions than she could stop the Earth from spinning.

He cupped her in his hands, gentle fingertips on the sensitive underside skin, thumbs brushing her ribs. More kisses placed along the back of her shoulders and neck in an attempt to placate her nerves. He removed the hair tie from her braid and loosened her hair, releasing the carefully coiffed sections from each other so it fell down in waves like a curtain, the ends of her hair tickling her bare skin.

He flirted with the waistband of her underwear next, sliding one edge down to reveal more of her hip and he dropped to his knees, placing kisses behind her and she was certain this was all a very elaborate dream. She would wake up in her bed any moment, flushed and wanting.

The kisses became firmer and both hands were at her waist, in a smooth motion he drew her underwear down, fingertips trailing along her skin the entire way. She stepped out of those too and they joined the rest of her discarded clothing. He placed a kiss on her backside and stood up.

She breathed in, fingers curling against her thighs. She was fully naked in front of him, standing in his room, letting him put his lips and hands all over her. He trailed one hand on the inside of her thigh, sliding right up in between the apex of her legs and she shuddered. Both hands on her hips and his pressure indicated he wanted her to lay on the bed. Her body moved of its own accord, crawling onto it and settling on her back, knees bent, legs clenched together and arms crossed protectively over her chest. The spell broke with her movement and though there was an insistent ache between her legs, her anxiety fought through the haze and demanded to be appeased.

Her voice was slurred and hoarse when she spoke. "Babe, I don't know if I can-"

"Shh. Just sit back, relax, and let me do this. If you get too uncomfortable tell me to stop and I will. You won't know until you let me try."

"But-"

"Do you trust me?"

"...Yes."

"Good." He got onto the bed too, hovering over her and lingered at her lips with a peck. The mattress depressed where his hands supported his weight on either side of her. The strings of his hoodie dangled down, tickling against her skin, reminding her starkly of her total nudity and he was fully clothed. That didn't seem fair, but it left her breathless in an exposed but titillating sort of way. She realized he did this on purpose, toying with the sense of complete vulnerability and the excitement found in heat of the moment exhibitionism. At the moment vulnerability was winning.

"Relax. I can see you're tense. Take in a deep breath and loosen up your shoulders."

She did as he requested and inhaled, rolling her shoulders down to the bed on the exhale.

"Better," he said. "Close your eyes."

She watched him for a moment, then her eyes slid shut.

"Keep them closed."

She nodded, breathing out of her mouth. His hands cupped underneath her backside, sliding up the outside of her thighs, over her knees to gently part them from their clinched position. He didn't splay them open just yet, to her relief, but instead shifted himself to the side so he could place kisses along her stomach near her navel. All his subtle ministrations were a bid to ease her apprehension.

"Focus on what I'm doing. Stop thinking and just feel."

"It's not that easy," she whined. "My head's a mess."

"You'll be fine, I know you will. Move your arms." He shifted himself up, nudging her arms away with his nose to get closer to her chest. Her elbows fell to the side as he kissed and licked, warm mouth closing over peaked flesh. She sighed through her nose and gripped his russet hair. His tongue swirled, firm against her skin. He nipped with his teeth, gently enough to avoid causing pain but hard enough to make her toes curl. She gasped and both hands clenched tighter. He moved to even out the score, repeating on the other side.

While he lavished attention up top, his left hand rubbed the curve of her hip, fingers teasing along the back of her thigh, until he went far enough to brush against her most sensitive parts. She jumped, the slight touch startling even though he'd been there before.

His touch was firmer the second time, dexterous fingers exploring and she felt the anxious hold on her mind start to slip the more he drew out every teasing sensation. There was no hurry, no racing through foreplay to get to sex. He was entirely focused on making this experience the best he possibly could for her and she sighed happily when his fingers slipped into her, satisfying the desire he built on purpose.

He shifted focus to his hands rather than his mouth. One last kiss and he drew away, sitting up and kneeling in front of her bent legs to have better access. His hand slid between her legs and his fingers found their way back inside and she rolled her head on his pillow. His right hand, the unoccupied one, found something to do in the form of running up and down the outside of her thigh and over her knee. All the while he kept up the clever manipulation of his fingers with his left hand, thumb finding the most sensitive spot of all, swiping across her clit. She audibly gasped and jerked her hips.

He used her distraction and glided his right hand down to gently coax her thighs apart. She was so lost in all of the sensation every reservation she had about letting him see the most intimate parts of her dropped away and her legs fell open. He leaned over and kissed her knee.

Once he had more access to her body he placed his right hand on her abdomen, flat and heated against her bare skin. He bent his fingers up against the gentle pressure of his hand on her stomach and she cried out, gripping his headboard. He knew exactly how to fan her flames, she was burning brightly and her mind became less and less cluttered with every in and out of his fingers and every deliberate stroke of his thumb.

She felt the bed shift with his movement and she nearly jumped out of her skin when breath stole across her exposed lower half. She opened her eyes and gazed down between her legs. He hovered over her, intense eyes staring back. The slightest smirk lighted on his lips at her lustful half lidded expression.

"Is this okay?" he said, just above a whisper, waiting for permission.

She groaned and flopped her head back against his pillow. " _Yes_. Please."

She closed her eyes again and waited with tense anticipation. He was teasing her, he had to be. His mouth had been so close, what was he doing down there, making her wait on pins and needles-

His tongue slid wet and heavy and every fleeting thought she had flew from her mind.

She knew from the first time she kissed him that he was orally talented, but no amount of fantasizing about it compared to the real thing.

He stopped for a moment, grabbed one of his pillows and placed it under her lower back to elevate her hips. He spread her legs again, resting his forearms on the backs of her thighs to keep them open. The usual slow trek to climax was propelled into a sprint with every lick and gentle suction. It was here that she always failed, stranded at the peak and unable to fall down the other side. She had to trust he would guide her to the top and push her over.

So far he accomplished what no one else had managed. No amount of stimulation downstairs could do the job alone if upstairs was too cluttered with stray thoughts and negative emotions. She finally experienced her mind blanking, purely awash in the feel of his lips and tongue, his hands curling around the tops of her thighs.

She clenched her knees around his head one moment, then spread as wide as she could the next, body stiff and taught as the pressure mounted. It was getting to be too much and built into a crescendo all at once, shifting under his talented tongue and clever lips, searching for the exact touch that would set her off.

Fingers reinserted, stubble scraping against her sensitive skin, and a pointed suction was the magic combination. A breathy feminine sigh escaped her lips the exact second everything snapped into alignment and she was racing and tumbling down the other side, whole body shuddering, pressing up against his mouth and twisting her hands in his sheets. She rolled, half sat up because she could barely stand the intense waves washing over. He guided her down in steps, slowing his licks and the caress of his fingers, easing her back into a satisfied lull.

Her chest heaved with every panting breath, skin flushed pink, eyelids closed tight and she startled with little electric aftershocks. Once her body seemed to settle, he slowly withdrew his fingers.

She laid in the afterglow with limp arms and legs, wholly exhausted. Blindly groping around in the air, her hand found his cheek and patted him lethargically before flopping back to the bed.

He snorted and kissed her nose. "Good?"

" _Yes_ ," she said, a dreamy expression on her face. "Amazing."

"I knew you'd be more agreeable after," he teased.

She attempted to punch him in the arm but missed, unable to care about expending the energy. He placed his palm on her stomach, rubbing tenderly while she floated back down to the real world.

Once she felt more control over her appendages she cracked open her eyes and smiled at him. She rolled over and gave him a solid kiss.

"Was it what you expected?"

She breathed in deep through her nose and propped her head up on her hand. "Better. Way better and more intense than the one I did myself, for sure."

"Well, good. And I didn't even have to saw you in half."

She snorted and gave his shoulder a playful shove. "If you ever try to dress up like a magician I'll saw  _you_  in half, for real."

"Straight to the violence with you. I'm getting kind of worried about my personal safety."

She smirked. "The only thing you should be worried about is my retaliation."

"Huh?"

"My turn." She pushed against his shoulders, urging him to lay on his back. Slinging a leg over his hips, she crawled on top of him.

"What are you up to?" he asked warily.

She kissed his cheek and moved down his body, reaching for the button on his jeans. "Repaying the favor."

"Oh, oh oh um, wait-" he said, sitting up and scooting back against the headboard.

She looked confused. "Something wrong?"

"No, just- ah... um..."

She smirked at him. "If this is some sort of misplaced worry that I'm going to think you're not 'adequate' or something, I've felt you through your pants, you're  _fine_."

"Oh, um, it's not- um, thank you? I think? But it's not... ah... that. But thank you. But..."

"You're adorable when you babble," she said affectionately. "But use your words, Hiccup."

"I... I'm not ready."

"Really? I mean... we were all over each other at the Halloween party."

"Yeah, I know," he said, avoiding eye contact.

She frowned. "If your mom hadn't interrupted us, and I had offered to sleep with you that night, would you have?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Probably not."

"Really?" she said, disbelieving. "Cause, you were  _pretty_  focused-"

"-On doing things to you," he interrupted. "Is it really that weird?"

"Well, no. It's not... weird. It's just, usually these things are a give and take. At least, that's what people who aren't assholes do. Don't you want anything in return?"

"Well, yeah... eventually."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Eventually? Not now? The tent in your pants would suggest otherwise."

"I hear cold showers are a thing..."

"Hiccup."

He shrugged, eyes downcast.

"What's with all the flirting then? You've made  _so_  many comments."

"It's... possible I'm all talk and no action. I lack the self-confidence to back it up," he said sheepishly.

"We're officially a couple now. I kind of thought we would do stuff. To each other."

He winced. "I know, I know. It's just... Ahh I'm sorry, I'm screwing this up. I should've realized that being official means you're expecting certain things-"

"Yikes, that doesn't sound good. I don't expect anything from you, even if you are my boyfriend. I'm not going to pressure you into anything you don't want to do. It's just, you did something really nice for me and I want to do the same for you. So talk to me, what part specifically aren't you ready for?"

He looked away. "I don't want you to take off my pants."

The light clicked on. "Oh, is that all it is?" she laughed.

He looked back at her with narrowed eyes. "You're laughing?"

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It is a little ridiculous when I'm sitting here completely naked in front of you, but I get it. Don't worry, what I'm planning on doing to you has nothing to do with your legs."

He flushed, hand in his hair and he couldn't look at her.

"You really are kind of shy, aren't you? What happened to that smooth confident guy from fifteen minutes ago?"

"Ah, well I'm a lot more confident when it comes to your beautiful body than, um... mine."

"Yours is beautiful too."

He snorted derisively.

"Don't make that sound. It is, Hiccup."

"Right, okay."

"You may not see it, but I do. It's beautiful to me. So, lay back down for me."

He still was wary and unconvinced so she tugged on his hips.

She hovered over him on all fours, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Will you at least let me take off your shirt?"

He snorted. "Why, so you can see my freckled lankiness in all its glory?"

She giggled. "Exactly."

He growled an annoyed sigh, but complied and unzipped his hoodie, tossing it to the side, and gripped his t-shirt by the collar, slipping it over his head. It joined her pile of clothes on the floor. She traced over the freckles dotting his shoulders, ran her fingers down his chest with a grin.

"Cute."

He rolled his eyes. "Not really."

"I think so."

He flushed, clearly not believing her. She teased her fingers at the waistband of his jeans and his stomach muscles contracted under her touch.

"So? What do you say?" she asked softly, looking up at him and blinking with wide eyes.

He swallowed heavily, unable to resist when she looked at him like  _that_. He nodded his assent. "Okay. Just, you won't, you won't take off-"

She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "The only thing getting off will be you."

He squirmed beneath her and she smirked. One hand drifted down, beginning where she left off, opening the button of his jeans and zipping down his fly. She shifted back and parted his legs so she could kneel between them.

"Okay, okay but just, don't- okay wow you're just going right for it. I- aaahhhh hah okay. Okay, I- ohhh."

She stopped and looked up at him with a grin. "You're being awfully noisy."

"Nervous habit, remember? And what do you expect?! You just- and I-aahh-"

"Shh. No more talking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So aside from the shameless fanservice, both of them seem to have their own issues in the bedroom... well... Astrid got hers figured out didn't she (wink). Also it makes me giggle to myself that Hiccup was all smooth and suave and took his time whereas Astrid just dives right in with no preamble like don't worry babe I got this.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ooooh, look who finally decided to come home."

Astrid tried to keep the smirk off her face as she tossed her book bag onto the floor. "This isn't out of the ordinary, Ruff. You're one to criticize, sometimes I don't see you for days."

Ruff waved her off. "Beside the point. You were shacking up with Hiccup."

Astrid shrugged. "So?"

"Something happened, I can tell."

"Nothing happened!" she squeaked, cheeks flushing red.

Ruff sat up straighter, scrutinizing her for clues. "You're blushing hardcore."

"Honestly, Ruff." She huffed and picked at imaginary lint. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh but there is. You're avoiding eye contact and you waltzed in here like you just had a really good-.. _oohhh_..." Ruff's grin turned predatory and Astrid panicked.

"No, no no no!" She waved her hands frantically but it was too late; her shrewd roommate had picked up the scent.

"Well well well, our little Hiccup has some hidden talents, huh?" Ruff said slyly and Astrid buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.

Ruff patted the seat next to her on the couch. "Come sit down and discuss."

Astrid dragged her feet reluctantly and plopped onto the couch in defeat.

"So, start from the beginning, and don't leave _anything_ out. I mean it," Ruff threatened.

"Okay, okay, _fine_. We got done with class and we were watching tv."

"Kay..."

"And then we started teasing each other and stuff, you know, and he asked me to be his girlfriend."

Ruff's face lit up. "So you two are official now?"

Astrid nodded, a pleased smile on her lips. "Yeah."

Ruff's elation was genuine."Aww, I'm so happy for you guys! And I'm so _very_ happy it's not me."

Astrid made a face at her. " _Anyway_ , in the midst of teasing each other, it um, it sort of came out that none of my boyfriends have ever been able to get me off."

"I always told you you're in your head too much," Ruff said sagely.

"That's what Hiccup said too."

"Smart kid. So? Obviously he did something about it?"

She couldn't contain the grin. She turned her face away and attempted not to giggle as Ruff grabbed her hand and shook it excitedly.

"What'd he do?"

"I'm not going into detail, Ruff!"

"Why not? I tell you stuff all the time!"

"Yeah, completely against my will. You're the queen of TMI."

"You say this like it's not the prestigious title it is."

"I know more about Snot's penis than I ever wanted to and I'm scarred for life."

"It's just dick, Astrid, don't be a baby. And speaking of dick, tell me about Hiccup's."

" _Ruff_! I'm not discussing dick details with you!"

"So you _did_ make it to third."

Astrid pouted. "You baited me on purpose."

"Of course I did. You know I'm a professional at this, my dear blonde bombshell, so start spilling."

"Ugh," Astrid sighed. "So, he took me into his room."

"Mhm, okay, go on."

She focused on the far wall with a dreamy expression on her face. "He straight up seduced me. No one's ever done anything like that to me before."

"Oh girl, you've got it bad." Ruff snorted.

"He just knew exactly what to do. He made it seem so easy, I fell right apart."

"You didn't have sex then?"

She shook her head. "No, he... he's not ready for that yet."

Ruff gave her a sympathetic nod. "The leg?"

Astrid turned to her in surprise. "How'd you know about that?"

Ruff shifted away with a quick dart of her eyes. "Oh, well you know... you guys were watching Netflix on the couch- which by the way you two lame-os were _actually watching Netflix and chilling_... not partaking in the more fun euphemism- and his pants leg had ridden up a little bit. He was wearing socks, but I could clearly see one foot was not a real human body part. So I was like, oh, dude's got a fake foot. Cool." She shrugged.

"He doesn't tell anyone about it, so don't mention it to him or tease him unless he brings it up," Astrid warned. "He um... he doesn't deal with it very well."

"No, I imagine he wouldn't," Ruff said with a frown. "So, what technique did he use to get you off then?"

"Oh, jeez, Ruff..."

"Hey, it sounds like kiddo's got some game, I'm just curious."

"You really don't need to know."

"No, but I _want_ to know. Enlighten me. Give me that contact high."

"You get enough _contact high_ from Tuff."

"We're getting off topic. I'm requesting intimate details concerning your physical relationship with a boy and you're stalling."

"Can you blame me? You're so pushy."

"Astrid!"

"Okay, okay so he sort of... well he sort of stripped me down piece by piece and then I got onto his bed."

"Getting to the juicer parts, good, good..."

"And, he... um..." She blushed with a nervous giggle. "Used his fingers first."

"First?"

"Then he used his tongue." She scrunched her face up in embarrassment as Ruff whistled in appreciation.

"Well, yeah that would do it. So was he actually good at it or did he just sort of slobber all over the place."

"No, he was _good_. Um, yeah. He was... _really_ good."

"Excellent," Ruff said, steepling her fingers together. "Now for the d. You did get the d, right?"

"I returned the favor, like a lady."

Ruff barked in laughter. "Yes, because oral sex is exactly what a classy lady would do."

"Excuse me, I am a classy lady, I don't know why you're laughing so much. Stop it!" The banter dissolved into a playful slap fight. After much giggling and no clear winner, Ruff leaned away and looked for the remote.

"Well, no wonder you didn't come home. I don't blame you, well done. I'm so proud."

"Such high praise, coming from you."

"Just wait until you two bang."

"You won't even know what to say," Astrid challenged.

"Oh I'll have _plenty_ of things to say."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because sex is pretty awesome, and apparently makes you ninety times more chill."

"Hey!" Astrid socked Ruff in the arm.

"Ow!" she protested. "It's true, though. I mean, since he got you off it's already lessened your hair trigger. I'll have to have a talk with this kid, make some sort of schedule. I like laid back sexually satisfied Astrid. What are we watching."

"You are not talking to Hiccup about putting me on an _orgasm schedule_."

"I sure am. It's in the best interests of all of us. What show do you want to watch."

"Ruff!"

"Oh baby, I love it when you call out my name."

"I don't know what to do with you."

"I could suggest some things..." Ruff wiggled her eyebrows.

"You're not into girls."

"You don't know that, maybe I could be. Female sexuality is a moving target, isn't that what they say?"

"Fine, I'm not into girls."

"Pity. _What do you want to watch_? I'm just clicking through random shit."

"I don't know, find something."

Ruff flopped back onto the couch. "Apparently post orgasm Astrid also can't make up her mind."

"Is that how you're going to define me now?"

"Sounds like you need to go find that boy and get another one. The effect is wearing off," Ruff muttered.

"Hey!"

ooo

An obnoxious ring blared through tinny speakers, fulfilling its purpose in waking two co-eds snuggled up under blankets in the darkened room.

"Ugggghhh," Astrid moaned, snaking a hand out from under the covers and blindly groping for the snooze button. She missed once, then smacked it and resettled.

"It can't be morning already."

"I don't think the clock is lying," she said with a whine, curling into Hiccup's side.

"I can already tell I'm going to need coffee this morning." His voice was slurred and sleepy.

"Do they serve it intravenously? Because I think I'm just gonna need a steady drip fed directly into my bloodstream."

"I thought you hated needles."

"Not if it's gonna keep me awake during Cultural Geography." She rolled onto her back and placed the back of her hand over her eyes.

"Aren't you done with your pre-reques?"

"I missed the credits for that one, didn't I tell you this already?"

"I haven't had coffee yet, you can't expect long term memory function, brain hurty."

"Then why'd you ask, doofus," she teased.

"You're the-" he yawned in the middle of his sentence, "mean... head."

"We haven't even been awake for a full minute and we're already trading insults, awesome."

"You started it."

"What are you, five?"

"No, but you _did_ start it."

"Mean head. You called me a mean head." She snorted. "My soul is utterly crushed."

"Hey, you can't expect my wit to be fully sharpened this early in the morning either," he said, snaking an arm around her waist.

"I don't know, I think you're just losing your edge."

"You're super chatty this morning for being so tired." The alarm rang to life again and he groaned. "Ugh, see you wasted all of our snooze time."

"You were talking just as much!"

"Lies. You slander me, milady."

She shook her head with a giggle, changing the subject. "Do you have to shower this morning?"

"Probably should." He pulled the covers over his head in protest of the impending need to get up.

"I should too, I think. I can't get away with just putting this mess up in a ponytail. You know, water conservation is very important, we should really help save the planet and shower together..."

"Ha," he said. "As much as I would love seeing you in the shower, I don't think we'd both fit."

A graceful decline to her teasing. She knew he wouldn't go for that, as the shower was one of the subtle reminders a non-able bodied person lived in this apartment, and one of the activities where he felt most vulnerable. Quite often she forgot he required special needs until she spied the bench in his shower stall or the crutches in his closet, or when he'd park in a handicap parking spot. A sense of guilt always crept in, because she doubted he ever forgot about his amputation for even a moment.

She did hope however, that soon he'd actually accept one of her offers. She made sure to give him an out by staying lighthearted, but at the same time she couldn't help the flush of disappointment when he always turned her down.

"Fine, fine. I'll go shower in solitude, all by myself."

"Well, I mean... I could _watch_ , if you want..."

She grinned. "You'd like that way too much."

"You, naked, with hot steamy water running down that beautiful body? Nah, not really my thing."

She giggled and gave him a light punch on the arm.

"Oww. Well, you wanna go get started on your ridiculously long beauty routine and text me when you're ready?"

"Hey! I do not take _that_ long to get ready."

"Do you hear yourself?"

"Hiccup!"

"I take twenty minutes tops, and that's including fitting on a body part. You tell me 'five more minutes' and then fifteen goes by..."

She jumped up and tackled him, straddling his hips and digging her fingers into his ribs. "Okay but you don't have to blow dry your hair or put on make up, cause you're a dumb boy."

He laughed and squirmed. "True! You're right, you're right! Shouldn't you go get ready? We won't have time for coffee if you keep manhandling me."

She leaned down into his face. "Maybe I'd quit manhandling you if that smart mouth would give it a rest for two seconds."

"Guess I haven't lost my edge, then?"

She clobbered him with her pillow.

After several minutes of wrestling later, she was in her own apartment hustling through her morning routine. She scowled when he entered and sat smugly on the couch, waiting for her to finish. Tying off her signature braid, she threw on a coat and snatched up her backpack and they headed out together.

Tuesdays and Thursdays were the best days of the week, because their class schedules mostly lined up and they could walk together. Their breaths steamed in the chilly air as they held hands.

Most of the time Astrid paid little attention to the shops and businesses along the street as they headed for the main campus, but this time cute little paws skittering on a window distracted her as they passed by.

"Ooooh! Look at you!" she cooed, stopping to admire a ball of fluff hopping up and down behind the glass. "I haven't been in a pet shop in forever."

He smiled at her enthusiasm, still holding her hand.

"We should go in!"

"What about class?"

"It doesn't start for forty minutes. We have plenty of time."

"I thought you wanted to get coffee first."

"Puppy pets are better than coffee."

"You say that now. Wait until you're in the middle of your chem lab nodding off while you're handling hydrochloric acid."

"Hmm, and why would I be so tired, Hiccup? Whose fault is that?"

He grinned and rolled his eyes. "So it was two in the morning, you just looked so pretty."

"Uh huh. I was _sound asleep_ and you started kissing on my neck."

"When the mood strikes..."

"At two in the morning?!"

"Hey, you reciprocated after you woke up, it's not entirely my fault. I was content to just keep kissing your neck."

"You woke me up and have the audacity to blame some of this on me?"

"You put your hand down my pants."

"Are you complaining?"

"No. I'm just saying, it's not my fault you probably need coffee more than puppy pets. Do you _want_ to doze off while you're in the middle of an experiment?"

"I won't fall asleep this time!"

"Didn't your professor make you an example in front of the entire class?"

"He threatened to put the video up on youtube," she muttered, crossing her arms.

"Right. So, coffee?"

"But, but cute puppies," she whined, looking at the window forlornly.

"Fine, let's go in. It's not going to be a video of me drooling all over my notebook that's gonna go viral."

"Shut up and pet some adorable little dogs."

He laughed as she dragged him inside, the bell chiming as they entered. He glanced around while she was licked by over enthusiastic canines. The store was a small local business and carried mostly fish and reptiles. She barely noticed as he wandered over to the aquariums, filled with an array of freshwater and saltwater specimens.

Once she had gotten her fill of puppy slobber she found Hiccup near several cages housing zebra finches, cockatiels, and parakeets. She joined him in front of the display.

"They have birds here too? Oh look at the parakeets! My grandma always had parakeets when I was growing up, I loved them so much."

She leaned in, watching as the birds pecked at food, played with mirrored toys, and fluttered from branch to branch.

"Look at that one, it's gorgeous," she said, pointing out a parakeet with shining blue feathers tipped in black and a speckled white head.

Hiccup nodded his head in agreement. "Nice."

"I used to let them out of the cage and they'd perch on my shoulder or fly around the living room. They're simple birds but they're actually a lot of fun." She smiled sweetly. "That blue one is so pretty. I'd get it if I could."

"Why not?" he said. "It's not a cat or a dog, you'd probably get away with having it in the apartment."

"I don't know," she said, deliberating. "They can be a little noisy. We used to put a blanket over the cage at my grandma's, but I don't want to get in trouble."

"I doubt anyone would realize or care that you had a bird."

"I suppose. Even if I wanted to get it I really don't have the money. I'd need to get a cage, food, and toys and stuff. It's too much," she said sadly, kneeling down and observing the blue one. It tilted its head as it regarded her. "You really are so pretty. Look at your feathers."

The bird fluffed, as if it knew Astrid was admiring it.

Hiccup pulled out his phone to check the time. "Hate to cut you short, but we better get going or you'll be late for class."

She sighed and stood up. "Yeah, okay."

"We can come back another time." He put his hands on her shoulders and steered her toward the front of the store. She glanced behind at the bird cages until she couldn't see them any longer.

"I suppose. But what if she's sold?"

"She?"

"I think it's a she, based on the color above her beak. That's how you tell them apart."

"Oh. Well, there's lots of birds in there."

"But I like _her_."

"Then come back and get her."

"But I _can't_."

"Well now you're just being silly."

She pouted. "Jerk."

"That shouldn't be a big surprise to you. Time to get to class."

"Ugh, I don't even want to go. I'm just going to fall asleep anyways."

Hiccup sighed deeply. "I told you we should've gotten coffee."

She scooted around the front of him and fingered the lapels of his jacket. "Why don't we just skip class and go back to the apartment..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Now who's the frisky one?"

"For a _nap_ , dummy."

"I can't afford to skip class, it's a critique day in Illustration."

"All the more reason to skip it."

"I wish, but unfortunately it's a big part of my grade. You know how much I'd rather cuddle with you than get my work scrutinized, believe me."

"I know, I know," she said sullenly. "I guess I have to go handle dangerous chemicals while sleep deprived."

"Please don't burn your face off, I happen to like it."

"I'll try my best."

ooo

The glow from the television cast a blue hue against her back, the only light source in the otherwise darkened room. Netflix and chill actually turned into _Netflix and chill_ this time as she straddled Hiccup's lap while he sat on the couch, the soundtrack a cacophony of panting and deep open mouthed kisses as Netflix questioned if they were still watching.

Innocent touches, slow seeking fingers, and a casual hand down her shirt while zoning out in front of the tv morphed into making out and a desperate need for friction. She climbed on top of him for better access, grinding her hips against his pelvis, relishing the way his blatant arousal hit the seam of her jeans perfectly.

His hands were tugging at her shirt while she busied hers by sinking them into his thick messy hair and clawing at the back of his neck. He tilted his head up to kiss her and she slid her hands around to cup his cheeks, hint of stubble scratching her palms.

His hands disappeared under her shirt and unhooked her bra, then rucked both articles of clothing up to her chin. He disengaged her mouth so he could place kisses along her chest. She leaned back and cradled his head, rolled her hips against him, helplessly lost in a current of lust. He alternated gentle sucking with sharp nips and she pressed into his mouth, seeking more, needing more contact, wanting him to devour her.

While his mouth was busy, his fingers fumbled with the button of her jeans and zipper. She knelt up so he could tug her pants down enough to wedge his hand underneath her panties, cupping between her legs. A breathy moan escaped her lips next to his ear when his middle and ring fingers found their way inside and she shamelessly rode against his hand, deliriously clutching at his head and grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

The pleasure built into a rising tide, centered on all the points of contact, his teeth on her nipple, fingers curled inside her, and the heel of his palm against her clit. As good as it all felt, an abrupt sharp yearning that it could be _him_ buried inside her instead of his fingers took over her concentration and she lost focus, completion slipping away as a more intense longing took its place. It just wasn't _enough_. She needed more, she desired him, and anything but him suddenly felt inadequate.

She pulled away and he released the suction on her breast with a pop. She half stood up, attempting to find her balance as his fingers slid out of her pants.

He looked up at her in question and she tugged at his hand, pulling him off the couch and into her room. She sat on the bed first, wrapping her arms around his waist and guiding him down on top of her as she leaned back on the mattress.

His hips naturally slotted between hers and the session resumed, his mouth now engaged with sucking on her neck. She drew her knees up and pressed her hands on his lower back, urging him to thrust. He complied, grinding into her while his left hand pulled her shirt back up, and she took a moment to shed her top completely, tossing bra and shirt to the floor.

He gravitated to her chest again and she bit her lip, almost smiling because she knew it was his preference.

A particularly hard buck against her made her moan and any lucid thoughts she might have had drowned in a whirlpool of pure need. Her mind clouded over and all she could think about was getting him inside her, in any way possible.

Their jeans were a bothersome barrier and she reached down to wiggle and kick hers off before attacking the button on his and frantically unzipping his fly. She shoved her hand underneath and triumphed in his breathy gasp as she gripped him, feeling him twitch at her rough handling. After a few pointed tugs she attempted to work his jeans down his hips. His body tensed above her, but he didn't stop her. She refitted their bodies together, rocking against his erection, encouraging his thrusts again, satisfied that only their much thinner underwear separated them instead of thick denim.

He acquiesced to her grabby hands, but this time less enthusiastically, a measured carefulness in his strokes that instantly invoked frustration in her. His libido matched the intensity of hers, in fact she hadn't seen him this riled up since the Halloween party, and she was hoping it would give him the final push to overcome his hesitations.

She reached her toes up, hooking them in the waistband of his jeans and pushing them down to his knees, fully intending to kick them all the way off.

At this he broke the suction on her skin and propped himself up.

"What?" she panted. "What's wrong?"

"Um, ah... I can't... um... sorry," he said awkwardly, rolling off of her so he could adjust his pants.

She growled and rolled her head to the side. "Seriously?"

He frowned. "Come on, Astrid."

"Can't you like, just... slip it in a little? Just give me _something_?"

He frowned. "Did you really just ask if _I_ could 'just the tip' _you_?"

"Is it really that big of a deal?" She snorted.

He shrugged. "That's the ploy I'm supposed to use on you, not the other way around."

"Mmm, then use it on me."

"Astrid..." He ran his hand through his hair and wouldn't look at her.

"We're official now, Hiccup. I just thought, that _maybe_..."

"I know, I know, but um...I just can't..."

She sat up, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at him. Normally she was more than tolerant, but a difficult week plus the metaphorical bucket of cold water his boundaries had poured all over them left her feeling cranky and not in the mood to deal with more delicate emotions. Annoyance built up in her chest and it threatened to erupt. The worst part was she knew her ire was irrational, but the passion cut short was too much to handle.

"Are you ever going to?" Her mouth set in a frown as she reached down to grab her shirt and tug it on over her head.

He narrowed his eyes at her clipped tone. "Someday, yes. Just not right now. I thought you understood this."

"I do understand, Hiccup, I do. What I don't understand is how you can justify fucking some random girl at a party, but make excuses when it comes to your actual girlfriend."

His jaw dropped open. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I could ask you the same thing, since you told me that first night we got together that you 'don't ever do this.' You kinda _lied_."

"One time at a party does not a habit make. Also, it was a girl from one of my classes, not a stranger. I explained all of this to you because we said we'd be completely open with our pasts. I didn't _lie_. I can't believe you're throwing this back in my face."

"I'm just trying to understand the logic behind sleeping with a random classmate being okay but sleeping with your girlfriend is not."

"First of all, I was really drunk-"

"Hmm, heard that before."

He stopped and gave her a look. "It was a pretty lonely semester. Fish told me about a party being held by some people we knew and he persuaded me to go. I drank a lot and she offered. At that point in my life I was convinced I was probably never going to have sex again, so an offer of casual sex was hard to turn down for someone who was depressed and under the influence."

"Okay... fine. I get that. But I'm here, right now, your _girlfriend_ , offering to have sex with you. Your logic does not apply here. Why are you turning me down?"

He sighed heavily. "Because you're asking for something I'm not ready to give. It's a level of vulnerability I'm not comfortable with. When I... at that party... I didn't even take off my pants. She had no idea about my leg, none of my classmates did. We were both drunk and it was pretty terrible, actually. I barely even count it as... anything. It's really not what you're thinking it was."

She shook her head, her mouth still twisted in a disapproving frown. "Did you use protection?"

"Yes. Don't worry about that."

"I'm sorry, I just... I don't get it. You're refusing me but some drunk girl at a party, hey it's a free for all!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Don't act like you're so innocent, you've had multiple partners too."

"I've only had sex with one other person, who was my boyfriend at the time, and we only did it a few times before we broke up."

"That doesn't sound condescending at all. Aren't you little miss perfect."

"Don't be an ass," she said scathingly.

"You act like I'm some sort of womanizer. One person was my girlfriend and the other a one time deal. My count isn't much higher than yours. Technically you've dated more people than I have."

"Yeah but I didn't bang all of them. I'm just trying to get an answer out of you."

"By being forceful and accusatory?"

"I've been more than patient, you _know_ that."

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "When we have sex, I want to be able to do it the right way, without clothes. I'm just not at that point yet."

She was silent for a moment. The thought came into her head unbidden and she knew it was awful, but it came out of her mouth anyway.

"You were going to fuck Heather. Without your pants."

"Jesus, Astrid..."

"Another case of drunk and depressed? Do I just need to get a couple of beers in you before you'll have sex with me?"

He got up from her bed and paced. "That's not fair."

"Neither is this whole situation."

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? You've been so patient and understanding and now you're pressuring me and I can't..."

His words made her pause. "I'm not trying to pressure you, Hiccup."

"Are you sure about that? Why are you so focused on sex right now?"

"I'm not trying to be, but we have to talk about it sometime. It's not that I don't want to wait for you, I'm fine with waiting if that's your whole deal. I wouldn't ever force you to do something you didn't want to. I just want to know why you're resisting so much, because I _like_ you. All I want is to get closer to you, but you're doing a really good job of shutting me out at every turn. It's just hurtful when it seems like you're willing to have sex with everyone other than me."

"That's not the case though, at all. If that girl had tried to take off my pants I would've stopped her, and I wouldn't have gone through with it. And Heather... well, she was there after the accident. She came to the hospital, she saw all the blood and the gore and the bandage changes. Hiding from her would've been sort of counterintuitive when she already saw the worst of it."

She watched him shrewdly. "So what is it about me that makes you think I can't even handle it now? If she could see the worst of it, why can't I see you when you're healed?"

He looked away. " _Healed_ ," he snorted. "I don't really know how to explain."

"Well try. You've been keeping something from me, something big, and I've been patient. But it worries me a lot and it's seriously a roadblock in our relationship. Do you even  _want_  to have sex with me?"

"Of course I do. You have no idea how badly I want to."

"Then what is stopping you?! If you want to and I want to, why can't we?"

He sighed through his nose and looked away.

"Hiccup. There's something you refuse to tell me, you won't have sex with me, and it makes me feel like you don't trust me."

Her words hung in the air, the true crux of the argument surfacing. He looked back at her with worried eyes. "No, that's not it, I do trust you-"

"But you don't. If you truly trusted me with your body or your heart, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

He ran a flustered hand through his bangs. "How, how can I make you understand..."

She held out a hand. "Maybe by starting at the beginning? Tell me what you're hiding?"

He paled. "I can't... I..."

She sighed. "Fine. Forget I said anything at all."

"Astrid..."

"It's getting kind of late."

He paced, panicked and stricken, like he wasn't sure where this argument had landed but was too terrified to get into it any further.

"Are you coming to bed then, or what," she said, flipping the covers back with a pointed snap and scooting under them.

He glanced at the door, pained and unsure. "I haven't fed Toothless..."

"Go feed him then. Whatever." She laid down and faced the wall, back to him in a frosty display. She sensed his hesitation, permeating the room and tugging at her chest. His footsteps were reluctant as he quietly closed her door and left.

She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, resisting the urge to punch their adjoining wall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so one thing I want to point out before anyone gets the wrong impression: Astrid didn't behave so great here, but her motivations aren't because she's trying to pressure or use Hiccup in any capacity. As she mentioned, but really didn't get to expand on, the issue is more she doesn't feel trusted rather than it being about the sex itself. His refusal was the catalyst for the argument and she didn't express herself very well. We'd all like to think we'd react fairly in any given situation but we're all human and sometimes we get stuck on an issue when it's not even really about that issue at all.
> 
> She's not in the wrong to desire her partner, especially when she knows he was previously sexually active, and it just looks like he's denying her for no reason. He absolutely has his reasons, but she is not aware of them yet and is operating on the basis of progression of a normal relationship. Just wanted to clear that up before someone gets the wrong impression about Astrid's behavior in this fight. I'm hoping this was clear enough in my writing, but I'm putting this disclaimer here just in case it wasn't. Chapter nine will deal with the aftermath of this and make it a little more clear too.


	9. Chapter 9

Hiccup didn't return to Astrid's apartment after the argument. She studied herself in the mirror the next morning, frowning at the red rings around her lids and the bags under her eyes caused by a fitful night of tossing and turning. Unfulfilled passion left a sharp ache between her legs and the words she said swirled around her brain until she couldn't stand it. It was the first real fight over something crucial between them, and the awful weight sunken in her chest refused to dissipate.

Guilt nagged at her conscious. She knew he wasn't ready but she pressured him and snapped at him anyway when he refused. Aside from residual hurt feelings, she was horrified at her own behavior and knew she should make it right. Sending a text didn't seem like the right way to initiate first contact after such a fight, and she supposed she'd have to wait until after their classes to see him. She flicked off the bathroom light and dragged herself into the living room.

"Wow, you look like hell," Ruff commented from the couch, where she was eating breakfast.

"Gee, Ruff, don't sugar coat it, you know how I hate that," Astrid said dryly, rolling her eyes.

"I just calls em like I sees em," she said, through a mouthful of cereal. "So... I take it there's trouble in paradise?"

Astrid sighed and slumped onto the couch. "Kinda."

"You two have a fight?"

"You could say that."

"'Bout what."

"Really Ruff, I feel terrible and I don't want to get into it."

"Okay, so I could lie and say I didn't overhear your little tirade, but I did and I'm not going to pretend. Are you _sure_ you don't want to talk?"

"Nosy much?"

"Not nosy, just cheap crappy housing. Talk to me."

"It's just dumb, it's not even... it's my fault. I was really lost in the mood and I tried to take his pants off. He stopped me, I threw a hissy fit over it. Case closed."

"Why'd you get upset? You already know this about him."

"I know, I know," she moaned. "I was frustrated and on a short fuse and I snapped at him."

"Hmm... that poor, poor boy. Sounds like he had his first tangle with PMS Astrid."

"That's not-!..." She started to protest, but then cut herself off and started counting dates in her head. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh. Super horny, followed by irritable, short tempered, snappy Astrid?"

She snorted and crossed her arms. "Well, whatever. So I'm gonna get my period in a few days, big deal."

"It generally shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes your emotions are all over the place. I never know if you're going to bite my head off or break down and start bawling. I always have to assess which PMS Astrid I'm dealing with."

"That's ridiculous."

"You cried over a Crayola Crayons commercial."

"It was very nostalgic and they were donating to needy children in Africa! Do you think I'm a heartless monster? You're the monster because you _didn't_ cry, so there."

"One time you flipped your shit because there was one spoon by the sink. And you had forgotten it was _yours_."

"Yeah that was... not my proudest moment..."

"Not so much, no. So... Hiccup?"

"I was kind of a huge bitch and may owe him an apology."

"Grovel, is more like it. Bringing up his past like that was kind of a low blow. Do you know how many guys lie about that kind of stuff? He was open and truthful with you, and you used it against him."

Astrid had the grace to look ashamed. "Yeah, I know."

"Jealous much?"

"Kinda, I guess."

Ruff snorted. "You guess. Here's the deal- It is frustrating to have to wait, I feel you on that one. Being someone's emotional baggage handler is never easy; you're human and you're gonna make mistakes. I can see how on the face of things it seems like Hiccup's slighting you, but deep down you know that's not the case here. You didn't have to navigate this kind of shit in high school and it shows. Mr tall dark and handsome had everything going for him back then- boy did he ever, that dude was _ridiculously_ hot- but he also never made you work for anything in that relationship."

"Okay but that doesn't sound like a negative thing."

"No, it doesn't, until he breaks up with you and now you have no experience handling someone whose life hasn't been all kittens and rainbows. And let's be real here, everything seemed so perfect in high school, but he never truly made you happy either, did he?"

Astrid picked at a stray thread on the couch, refusing to meet Ruff's eyes. "We were happy..."

"Right. Content and _bored_. He knew it and on some level you knew it too."

"If it was so wrong why did it hurt so badly when it ended?"

"Because your little ivory tower came crashing down. Because you realized you had to do something on your own for once. It wasn't about him, it was losing the safety he provided. If you want to be truly happy you have to assume some risk, and in this case the risk is a guy who needs some special handling."

"I'm completely out of my depth here," Astrid moaned, cupping her face in her hands. "What do I do?"

"You can start by apologizing profusely. That poor boy has enough issues, he doesn't need you hassling him on top of it."

"I know, I messed up, big time." She paused, reflecting. "You really did hear everything, didn't you. I wasn't even aware you came home last night."

"Yeah, I have class this morning and didn't feel like doing the eight am walk of shame for once. Who do you think turned off the tv last night?" Ruff grinned. "Netflix and chill, huh?"

"Shut up! You're _such_ a- wait... so before the argument-"

"I heard you guys hardcore making out? Yep."

"Oh... um..."

"Astrid. I don't care. How many times have you heard me and Snot?"

"More times than I wanted to."

"See? Not a big deal."

ooo

Astrid held in a sigh as she turned the keys in the lock to her apartment. Her lab ran late because her partner used the wrong concentration and they were required to start the experiment all over. It was the second time her partner made a similar mistake the past week and it only contributed to Astrid's stress level. She felt another bout of hot shame wash over her, knowing she had taken out her frustration on Hiccup when he didn't deserve it, just like when they first met. She hoped they could smooth things over.

All day she kept checking her phone obsessively, wondering if maybe he would text her like usual, but the screen was void of any communication. Every time she brought up the window with his name, her heart started pounding and she closed it out. She didn't want to apologize over text, it should be done in person, but initiating that first contact after a fight was always awkward and difficult, especially when she was the one who should be apologizing.

She dragged herself into the living room.

"Hey," Ruff said, reclining on the couch and watching tv.

"Hey," Astrid responded.

"You're late, your lab go okay?"

"No. Amy got the concentration wrong, _again_."

"Seriously?"

"Yep," Astrid said, popping the p. "So we had to do it over completely, right back to step one."

"Sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"Talk to Hiccup today?"

"No," Astrid said despondently. "This is the longest we've gone without communicating."

"Oh, well, I'm sure you guys will talk soon," Ruff said, shrugging.

Astrid narrowed her eyes. "Why do you have that look on your face?"

"What look?" Ruff said, eyes wide and innocent.

"That look, like you know something."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Astrid followed Ruff's line of sight to her bedroom door, which was closed. "Hey... why is my bedroom door closed? I never close it."

"Oh? I didn't notice."

"Shut up, yes you did. What's in my room? Did you do something?"

"I did absolutely nothing."

Astrid hurried to the door and opened it, peering inside. Her heart leaped into her throat.

"Oh my God."

She heard Ruff's giggle from outside.

"Oh... my... how..."

She stepped into her room and pressed her hands to her mouth, gazing at the cage hooked to a tall ornate stand in the middle of the floor.

"He didn't... I can't believe..."

Ruff came and leaned in her doorway. "Yes, he did."

She turned and glared at her roommate. "Did you help with this?"

"I just let him in. He gets all the credit."

She turned back and cooed to the cage's occupant, sticking her finger through the bars. "Hello gorgeous! Look at you, you are just so pretty!"

Her new parakeet, the exact same one she had been admiring in the petshop, chirped and fluffed her feathers. Astrid opened the little door to the cage and stuck her hand in slowly, letting the bird get used to her.

Ruff examined her fingernails. "Pretty sweet of a guy to give you something like this, when you're the one who's supposed to be apologizing, huh?"

"He didn't have to do this," Astrid breathed, gently coaxing the bird to perch on her finger. "He shouldn't have."

"But he did. Looked like he felt just as terrible as you when he came over with all this stuff." Ruff stepped into the room and closed the door as Astrid brought the bird out and petted her rounded chest.

"Ugh, it was all my fault. Is he home, have you heard him?"

"I think he is. He dropped this off and left, but I don't hear him as much as you do with your adjoining wall."

"Why did he do this, he didn't have to do this... but I'm so very glad he did. He even got you treats!" She stroked down the back of her bird, placed her in the cage, and hooked a seed stick to the bars. "I've gotta go. Oh, stop giving me that look."

"What look?"

"That 'I won't see you for the rest of the night, will I' shit-eating grin."

Ruff raised her hands in mock innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Astrid pushed Ruff out the door of her room. "I _will_ be back. ...Probably."

"Sure, sure. Better take your keys with you," Ruff sang.

"You're insufferable," Astrid muttered as she snatched her keys off the counter and headed over to Hiccup's apartment. Her heart thumped wildly as she stood in front of his door, knocking politely. If he was home, she wanted to give him a chance to prepare himself before she came in. She waited to hear his usual clamor to answer, but all she heard was a light thump and kitty footsteps. She knocked again, brows furrowed, as Toothless meowed at the other side of the door.

"Hey buddy, where'd your handsome owner run off to?" she called to Toothless, who padded around in response. She shrugged and plucked Hiccup's spare apartment key from her chain and opened the door. Toothless immediately curled around her shins with a loud rumbling purr. She picked him up and buried her nose in his soft fur, petting and loving him up. Toothless adored the attention and his eyes closed in pleased admiration.

"I don't know why Hiccup always teases you, you're such a sweet kitty, yes you are." She passed his food dish and noticed it was empty. "You poor thing, he hasn't even fed you, I bet you're starving." She set Toothless down and grabbed his food from the cabinet. He circled her legs in excitement and waited while she plopped the tuna into his dish, then chomped away with a contented purr.

She glanced around, wondering where Hiccup might be. She turned the light on next to his bed and sat down, checking her phone one more time. No texts from him, no communication at all. He did have a facebook profile but rarely ever posted status updates or used check-in, so that was no help either. For the first time since they met she was completely in the dark about his whereabouts. It was especially unsettling because she knew it was her fault. One bad week caused one moment of crankiness and things got out of hand. She needed to make it up to him, in a big way.

She laid down on his bed, his pillow and bedding smelling of him, and she missed him terribly. It seemed sort of pathetic that one day of separation affected her so much, but it really took its toll, on top of the time they already spent apart due to schedules. She wanted to fix things, she wanted to say she was sorry, and she wanted him in her arms again.

Being in his bed and waiting around for him was doing things to her poor starved libido, the potential release interrupted from the prior evening didn't help matters any, and the downtime was only giving her opportunity to daydream about things that had happened in his bed. More minutes ticked by and at this point she would be ready to jump him the moment he walked through the door, whether they got to talk things out or not.

She lighted on an idea and giggled when she thought about the look on his face upon discovering her. After a moment of deliberation if she should or not, she decided to be spontaneous and go for it. The parakeet was his olive branch and she decided she could extend her own grand gesture too. He would know she was really, _really_ sorry, and she would assure him no pressure, just making up.

She pulled off her shirt and tossed it to the side, shimmied down her jeans, and her bra and underwear followed.

Well this was titillating, sitting in his bed naked, waiting for him to come home. Maybe he would just instantly understand and everything would be okay. His eyes would light up and he'd smile and join her and-

where _was_ he? She glanced at the clock radio on his nightstand. It was almost nine o'clock and she knew he didn't work or have classes this late. Most of his current assignments could be done on his computer at home and didn't require him to be on campus.

She closed her eyes and Toothless jumped up onto the bed with a trill, kneading a spot for himself near her feet. He settled down and she pulled the covers up, chilled since there wasn't a second body in the bed to keep her warm. Drowsiness set in and her risque imaginings turned into half asleep dreams, making her ache and desperate for a little make up fulfillment.

Keys jangled in the door and she awoke with a startle, noting the clock read quarter to ten. She rolled to her side and listened with nervous excitement.

"Just a second, I um... oh, huh...could've sworn I locked this..." The door opened, but something wasn't right. Hiccup was talking to someone, indicating he wasn't alone. She slapped a hand over her mouth to contain the screech and panicked.

"Something wrong, son?"

"No, I just... no. You can come in."

She jumped up from the bed, eyes darting around for no escape as multiple pairs of footsteps entered the apartment. Toothless unseated himself, scooting out to greet his master. Foregoing her clothes, she dashed for Hiccup's closet and flung herself inside. She managed to slide the door closed, heart practically beating out of her chest, just as Hiccup and his visitors crossed into the living room. She plopped to the floor and curled up, hiding herself as much as possible.

"It's such a shame Astrid couldn't join us tonight, the food was delicious. Do you want our leftovers? Maybe you can share them with her." Astrid recognized Valka's voice.

"Thanks for the offer, but we'll be fine. We live on a perfectly healthy college diet of ramen noodles and pizza," he joked.

"Well that seems unbelievable, since yeh should be able tae afford more. Val did give yeh all that-"

" _Stoick_ ," she shushed.

"Right. So where is this disc with the plans again?"

"Uh, it's um... it's by my computer. I'll grab it, just one second."

She heard him enter his room and stop in front of the clothes on his bedroom floor, which weren't there this morning. The door creaked partially closed.

"Astrid?" he whispered, mostly to himself.

She slid the closet door open a crack so she could peek out.

"In here."

He looked confused as he walked over to her and knelt down on her level. "I was wondering why my door was unlocked. What are you doing? Why are your clothes on my floor? Are you... wait are you _naked_?"

"Shut up!" she said, cheeks flaming in embarrassment.

"What were you doing in my apartment without your clothes?"

"Um, waiting for you," she said sheepishly, fingering the edge of the closet door.

His eyebrows shot up, then he grinned as he realized just exactly what she had been waiting for.

"Really? You were waiting for me to come home, in my bed, completely naked?"

"Yep. And then you weren't alone and this quickly turned disastrous. If you could just hand me my clothes, so I could not be sitting in your closet in my birthday suit while your parents are just outside that would be awesome."

A devilish smirk appeared on his face and she felt her heart beat erratically at the same time as her stomach dropped.

"Mmm, no, I don't think I will," he said cheekily.

"What?!"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna do that."

" _Hiccup_!" she hissed. "Give me my clothes!"

"Nah."

"You can't _nah_ me. Hiccup! Hiccup, come on! _Hiccup_!" she said as loud as she dared, but he was already up and searching for whatever he had come into the room to retrieve. Once he found it, he sauntered over to the closet again.

"I'll be back in a moment, I don't think my parents are staying long, okay?"

"You are _so_ dead once they're gone." She tried to sound menacing as best she could, although the effect was a bit lost.

"That's quite a threat, coming from a naked girl in my closet."

"Ooooh, you! Hiccup!"

He was already gone and out the door. The most she could do was listen to the conversation and wait for his parents to leave so she could alleviate this mortifying situation.

"Sorry, I thought I had burned it onto a cd, then I remembered I put it on this flash drive."

"Thanks," Stoick said gruffly. "You know-"

"Oh, here we go," Hiccup said with a weary sigh.

"Stoick, let it be, we had such a nice evening," Valka said.

"I just don't understand why yeh would'nae go for engineering, or at least architecture! The court house badly needs remodeling and I told them my son is very talented, he could draw yeh up plans. And they'll look at these right enough, but yeh not truly qualified. If yeh'd only take the program, yeh'd learn what yeh need tae know, and yeh could get a _real_ job-"

"Yeah, but Dad, we've been over this-"

"Stoick, please-"

"All right, all right. Thanks for the blueprints, son. They'll take a look at 'em, though I don't know if they can use 'em."

"If they can't, they can't, it's fine, Dad. I know I'm not licensed."

"Yeh could be, if you would just-"

" _Stoick_ -"

"It's not too late to change yer major, you know-"

" _Dad._ "

"I'm sure maybe they can still use Hiccup's ideas," Valka said, interjecting herself back into the conversation. "He _is_ very talented."

"That we agree on, love," Stoick said. "Just not sure why he's wastin' it."

"Okay! Well, should probably get back to wasting my time, you know, finishing my assignments for school. So..."

"Yes, it's important you get your work done," Valka said as they filed for the door. "Please tell Astrid we'd love to have her join us next time if she can. Such a shame she had, what did you say it was? A lab she had to complete tonight?"

"Yeah, she had a chem lab. Was a late one, her partner hasn't been too helpful lately. As far as I know she's still not home."

"Can't believe they can keep students doing work that late," Valka said. "But I suppose that's university life. Anyway, next time. Stoick would love to meet her."

"Aye, that I would. Well Val, let's go. Have a good night, son."

"Thanks, Dad, I will." Astrid picked up on the hint of sarcasm in Hiccup's voice.

"Good night, dear," Valka said, and she heard his mother peck him on the cheek. The door opened and the sound of his parents leaving made her sigh in relief. Once they were alone, she slid back the closet door as Hiccup entered his bedroom, Toothless in tow.

He leaned on the door frame with crossed arms and a grin.

"So..."

"Shut up," she muttered, covering her chest with one arm and darting to her clothes.

"Hey, nuh ah," he said, jumping forward and snatching the majority away from her and holding them out of her reach. All she managed to wrangle from him was her bra.

"Hiccup! Give them back!"

"Nope." He purposely threw her clothes out the door and shut it.

" _Seriously_?" She growled.

"Whoops."

"Ridiculous. Fine, you know what? We need to talk," she huffed, sitting down on his bed, arms folded across her breasts and legs primly crossed.

"Right," he said slowly, his eyes scanning down. "And then we need to _not_ talk."

She snorted before launching in. "I'm sorry, about yesterday. I was being a total bitch," she admitted.

"It's okay, I mean... I get it. Anyway, I like the way you apologize. Sorry my parents sort of cock blocked that one."

"God," she moaned, pulling her hands down her cheeks. "So embarrassing. I'm never doing that again. I learned my lesson."

"Actually, I really hope you didn't, because I will never complain about coming home to a naked girl in my bed."

She smiled despite herself and shook her head. "You're stalling. We really should work this out, Hiccup."

The grin on his face fell and worry took its place. "We don't have to, we can just pretend the whole thing never happened-"

"No, we can't. At least, I can't. I said some terrible things to you and you have every right to be angry. You _should_ be angry."

"I'm not angry," he said, beseeching her with wide eyes.

"You really should be. How I acted was unacceptable and I want you to know I'm okay with waiting for you. I had a moment of weakness, and it's really not about the sex, it's about trust and-"

"Right, trust," he said, interrupting. "I know. And I _do_ trust you, as much as I can right now. Have you um, have you been to your apartment yet?" he asked, his voice rising lightly at the end of his question.

She narrowed her eyes, wondering if she should let him get away with that obvious change of subject. Mr. Avoidance seemed determined to deflect any real talk about the fight or their relationship. She did owe him a thank you however so she allowed his tactic to work for the moment. "Yes, I saw the parakeet. You didn't have to do that, babe. You really didn't, but I love her, she's wonderful."

"Ah, well, you know, I felt bad and I just..."

"But you shouldn't feel bad. You were honest and open with me and I used it against you. It was totally unfair, and then I pressured you and made you feel bad for not appeasing me. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, honest. I accept your apology. You and me, we're, we're good now, right?"

"Yes, I guess?"

He nodded, relieved. "Good."

She studied him, wondering why he was being so dismissive of the argument as a whole and so quick to forgive. She honestly couldn't say she would be as nonchalant if their roles had been reversed in this particular instance, double standard as it was. She probably would be livid and wouldn't want to see his face for awhile, much less go through the trouble of buying him a pet and all the paraphernalia to go with it. The fact he felt the need to appeal to her with a gift puzzled her. It wasn't his wrongdoing to correct. Part of her almost wished he would yell, at least not let her off the hook so easily, anything to temper the guilt she felt.

"You're really willing to just let this go? Because honestly this whole thing was all my fault and you shouldn't have spent money on me like that. Getting me the bird, and all that stuff! How could you even afford it?"

"Well, you know, I have some spare change lying around. I just deposited that check; Mom gave me plenty for next semester and then some."

"Still..."

"Don't worry about it," he said, his voice dropping low as he moved closer. His tone sent a tingle down her spine and caused certain places on her body to throb impatiently as her heartbeat quickened. He pulled his shirt over his head by the back of the collar, gently lowered her to the bed and climbed over her.

"But I-"

"Shh. I can't think rationally anymore with you like this."

"Shouldn't we finish talking everything over?"

"Talking is overrated. Let's continue this conversation with our mouths... but not with words."

She shivered as his lips caressed her throat and his hands slid up her waist, over her arms and cupped her wrists, placing them on either side of her head against the bed.

"Besides," he murmured against her pulse point, "I heard something about putting you on a schedule?"

"Oh for fucks sake, _Ruff_ ," Astrid growled.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to point out that I don't really have a headcanon as to where Berk actually is in this story, aside from "Anywhere USA" which is why commonly celebrated US holidays will be mentioned here. Berk does experience all four seasons, which narrows it down some I guess.

Astrid blinked her eyes open blearily, her dream regressing from the forefront of her consciousness into a hazy background. She squinted at Hiccup's alarm clock, green light displaying 3:30 am in the darkened room.

She squirmed, pressing her thighs together. That had been _some_ dream, playing out like an R-rated movie, which unfortunately cut off right at the good part.

Hiccup's breathing was deep and even behind her and she rolled her head restlessly on the pillow. Would it be terrible to wake him up for a little action? He did it to her once, she could even the score... though somehow waking him up and asking him to scratch her particular itch made her pause. They argued enough about the current status of their physical relationship and she was loathe to get into it this early in the morning. Still, the persistent ache was not about to go away and it left her wondering how she could relieve it.

She curved perfectly into his lap, his body heat seeping into her backside and she subconsciously wiggled her hips against him. If only he'd wake up on his own, ready to go. Her movement seemed to rouse him; he sighed and roped an arm around her waist. She perked at that, hoping maybe if she did some more pointed nudging she'd get him in the mood.

Instead she was disappointed when he seemed to fall back asleep. His hand was hot and heavy against her torso, holding her just below her chest. She stifled a frustrated groan, wishing he would move it just a little bit higher, or even better, _lower_. His breath against her ear tickled her hair and only served to agitate her further.

_Just, wake up and do me already!_

This was a special kind of torture. She was so ridiculously turned on and he was so soundly asleep she could cry. She was tempted to take care of business without his involvement, no matter how totally awkward that would be. She desperately squirmed against his pelvis some more.

His hand flexed against her stomach and slid a little higher, grazing the bottom of her breast. She held her breath, praying he was waking up, but aside from a few sleepy flinches of his fingers he settled back down and she almost screamed. Was it possible for her body to physically combust?

Screw the arguments and screw her pride. She reached behind and ran her hand down the front of him and under his waistband. He grunted and shifted under her insistent fingers.

"Is this how it's always going to be with you?" he asked, voice gravelly with sleep. "Shoving your hand down my pants in the middle of the night?"

"This sounds like complaining," she sassed, grinning to herself as she felt his body start to react.

"S'not complaining...I guess I could get used to it..."

"Good." She took his hand resting on her stomach and pointedly placed it right where she needed it.

He snorted in her ear. "Oh, so _that's_ what you really want."

"Less talk more action."

"Mmm... like this?"

"Ooooh... yesss..."

"You just like being tired all day, don't you."

"No, I like your fingers doing what they do best, and you can put that mouth to good use too instead of talking."

"You're certainly demanding this early in the morning."

"Shh."

"Did you just shh me?!" He started to withdraw his hand, but she grabbed it and held tight.

"Don't move your fingers or I'll break them."

"Geez, someone's turned on."

"You're one to talk, Mr. 'I just wanted to kiss on your neck'."

"Once again, you're the one who shoved a hand down my pants."

"Hiccup," she whined.

"Fine, fine," he said. "But you owe me."

"Deal. I'll give you a really good- _oooohh_..." She couldn't finish her sentence.

He smirked as she arched against him. "Yeah you will," he said into her ear.

"Mmmm..."

"By the way, don't forget we're going to my parents' house for Thanksgiving this weekend-"

"Babe! Talk about it later!"

"Okay, okay, sorry!"

ooo

"You look beautiful, you know," Hiccup said, leaning against the door frame.

"Thank you, but that's not going to make me go any faster." Astrid plucked up another section of hair and ran it through her straightener. Her standard braid tended to leave wild untamed waves and for special occasions she liked to straighten it into a flat golden mane. Her thick hair, normally a blessing, was a drawback when trying to use hair-styling equipment in any sort of timely manner.

"So, you said it's just going to be us and your parents this year?"

"Yeah, sometimes my aunt and uncle come for Thanksgiving, but this year they didn't make any plans."

"I'm surprised you're hustling me this much; I would've thought you'd be more reluctant to go at all and show up as late as possible."

"Normally that would absolutely be the case, but this time I don't want to be late or I'll have to hear about it the whole evening."

Astrid was learning Hiccup wasn't a fan of family holidays, viewing them mostly as opportunities for his parents and extended family members to scrutinize and comment on his life. He learned long ago attempting to please everyone was impossible and only made him more miserable. His mother was his one constant supporter, an anchor against the uncertainty in his life choices. At times Astrid surmised Hiccup was exaggerating the doom and gloom, but she also knew how much his experiences had affected him for the worse, and that was enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

She glanced at his reflection in the mirror. "Nervous?"

"N-oo..."

"Do you think your dad won't like me or something?"

"Oh he'll love you, don't worry," he said, reassuring. "You're doing things with your life, scientific things that require dedication and smarts, not chasing some crap ass bohemian major which will leave you with unpredictable sources of commission based income like a vagabond."

"Is that actually what he said?"

"No, but he implied it."

She snorted. "You are literally the most dramatic person I've ever met."

"I am not," he protested.

She grinned at him. "Fine, not all the time. But you can be a huge drama queen when you want to be."

"Maybe that's... kind of somewhat sort of accurate," he said, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. "You don't know my dad though."

"I've heard him talk to you."

It was Hiccup's turn for the big teasing grin. "Yeah, but how much did you really hear from my closet while you were sitting in there naked?"

"Shut up!"

"Are you almost done?"

"Does it look like I'm almost done? I still have half my head to do yet."

"Uuuuughhh," he said, drooping his shoulders and acting more put out than he really was. "At this rate we'll have to join them at next year's Thanksgiving."

"Listen Mr. Sassypants, do you want me to look good or not."

"You always look good, Astrid," he said sincerely.

"Aww," she said, giving him a smile. "You _sap_. I still have to put on makeup."

"Makeup too?! You don't need it!"

"But I want it. And to think I was planning on going down on you after getting ready."

"Well, I mean... we still have _some_ time before we have to go..." he said, pretending to calculate the minutes.

"Uh huh," she teased, shaking her head at him. "So we _do_ still have some time for me to get ready then?"

"Oh, was that a joke?" He feigned innocence.

"Of course it was a joke!"

"Get a guy's hopes up," he muttered, playful.

"And that's the _only_ thing getting up," she said pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah. Finish your girly routine already, I'm gonna go start a movie on Netflix because you're boring. And apparently I'm not gonna get some."

"It was a joke!" she huffed after him. "And don't start a movie, it's not going to take me that long!"

A half an hour later saw the two of them grabbing coats. Astrid slung on a black peacoat she reserved for dressier occasions over a simple powder blue dress and knee high boots. Hiccup also had a nice wool coat and scarf, to go with his black dress pants and dark red button down shirt.

She kept glancing at him. This was the first time she had seen him dressed up, and he was definitely eye candy in the fancy clothes that fit his lean body so well she questioned if they were tailored. They hustled outside, Hiccup checking the time on his phone.

Astrid was astonished to learn Hiccup was the owner of the sleek black Audi she and Ruff always admired in the apartment complex's parking lot the first time he offered to drive. His apartment and humble furnishings didn't reveal how wealthy his family truly was. When she exclaimed about the car, he shrugged and mentioned it was the vehicle his dad got for him after his first one was totaled. That sobered her quickly and the car wasn't mentioned again.

The drive to his parents' house was around a half an hour, accounting for downtown traffic and people traveling for the holiday. They lived in Berk's most swanky gated community.

As Hiccup rolled smoothly into the driveway Astrid marveled at the huge house, the gorgeous stonework and perfectly sculpted landscaping. Her family wasn't poor by any means, but their house was nowhere near as extravagant as this.

She was having trouble closing her mouth as she gazed up at the grand atrium windows, warmly lit from inside.

"You grew up here?" she asked.

"Eh, I think we moved to this house when I was ten or so?" he said. "We lived on the lower east side of Berk before that."

"Wow," she said, shaking her head.

She started up the walk to the front door, but Hiccup gently took her elbow and guided her through the garage.

The door into the house led to a coatroom. Valka greeted them when they entered, her Old English Sheepdog Cloudjumper having alerted her to their presence when he heard the car in the drive.

She gave Hiccup a big hug and kiss on the cheek, and he always looked embarrassed about his mother's affectionate fawning. Astrid received an inviting hug too after Valka hung up their coats.

"It's so wonderful to have you two, come on into the kitchen. Stoick is basting the turkey."

Once in the kitchen Stoick was just placing the turkey back into the oven and shooing Cloudjumper away from the food. He straightened up and grinned as the three entered.

"Hiccup, glad to see yeh! And this must be Astrid," he said, taking off the oven mitt to shake her hand.

"Hello," Astrid said with a charming smile.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Valka offered. "We have almost anything you could want; soda, beer, wine. Stoick can mix you a drink if you'd like."

"What kind of wine do you have?" Astrid asked.

"Let me show you," Valka said, leading them to a wine pantry. "We have plenty of choices. Stoick prefers dryer wines, but I like sweet myself."

"Yeah, he drinks it really dry, like it's practically desert in a glass," Hiccup said. "I don't know how he can stand it."

"He doesn't drink it that often; he's more of a beer man," Valka laughed. "But we keep it on hand for whenever he decides to switch it up a bit. I think he just likes the fancy labels." She winked.

Both Astrid and Hiccup decided on a moscato and his mother poured them two glasses out in the kitchen, where Stoick was preparing mashed potatoes.

"So, Astrid," he said jovially, "how is it yeh two met?"

Hiccup started laughing as his parents looked at him quizzically.

"Well..." she started sheepishly.

"She yelled at me!" Hiccup said.

Valka tilted her head and Stoick waited for the rest of the story.

Astrid rolled her eyes. "In my defense you _were_ being noisy."

"Toothless broke a coffee cup and she came stomping over to my apartment and threatened to tell the landlord."

"Okay, well when you put it that way it doesn't make me sound very good!" Astrid said, put out but still grinning. "This was prefaced by two weeks of _someone_ playing his music way too loudly at ungodly hours of the night. And Toothless was being a noisy cat."

"So she shows up, banging on my door like a crazy person and I was sincerely terrified for my life when I went to answer it."

"You were not."

"I absolutely was."

"How did you go from arguing to a relationship?" Valka asked, amused.

"Amid all the yelling at me I told her Sharpshot had died, and we both realized we were stressed out about stuff and taking it out on each other."

"Ach, poor Sharpshot," Stoick said. "He was a good dog."

"Yeah, he was. So I invited her in and we talked for awhile, she came over to study-" he coughed, remembering what had mostly taken place that night besides actual studying, "and we sort of, just kept hanging out ever since."

"How sweet," Valka said. "Well we're glad to have you, Astrid."

"Thank you, Mrs. Haddock."

"Oh, call me Val, it's fine dear." She opened an antique credenza that housed their fine china, counting out enough plates and silverware.

"So Astrid, what are yeh studying?" Stoick asked as he pulled a dish of sweet potatoes out of the second oven.

"I'm majoring in Microbiology with a minor in BioChem."

"Oh, wow, yeh must be very smart," he said, clearly impressed. "That sounds like quite the course load."

"Yeah, it's pretty intensive, which is why I was so frustrated with Hiccup at first," she laughed. "I was trying to study for midterms and one broken mug was the last straw."

Stoick chuckled along with her. "I cannae blame yeh if he was playin' his music too loud while drawin'."

"Okay, I was doing schoolwork too," Hiccup said, dismayed the topic of discussion shifted to his major.

"Of course son, but she was studying. I cannae imagine all yeh need to know for a degree like that."

"It's a lot," Astrid said reluctantly. She glanced at Hiccup, who was just barely keeping the sour look off his face.

"So, you must live close to Hiccup then?" Valka asked, steering the conversation. Hiccup looked at her gratefully.

"Next door, actually," Astrid said. "We share a wall, which is why I could hear everything."

"Oh, how funny. The girl next door, huh Hiccup?" His mother enjoyed the opportunity to fluster him.

"Ah, ha ha yeah," he said, fidgeting. "Hey, um... why don't I give Astrid a tour before dinner?"

"Oh, yes! I just have to finish the green beans-"

"Don't yeh touch em, Val," Stoick said, blocking her way. "We'd like dinner to be edible."

"Excuse me?" Valka said huffily.

"Astrid can't cook either," Hiccup interjected with a grin.

"Hey!" She knocked him playfully on the arm.

"I never realized how much I must love pain before you," he joked, leading her into the living room.

"This house is gorgeous," she commented, looking around at vaulted ceilings, the stone fireplace, and floor to ceiling windows.

"Yeah, it's something," Hiccup said. "We can go upstairs if you want. I can show you my old room."

Astrid grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not, I don't think I have anything too embarrassing in there..."

"Famous last words, babe. Show me."

He chuckled and they climbed the stairs. A loft overlooked the living room and down the hall was Hiccup's old bedroom.

His color scheme fit his personality- dark molding, forest green walls, lush carpeting, and a downy white comforter on a queen sized bed. Her eyes were drawn to a large bulletin board with sketches pinned to it. She zeroed in on the drawings and Hiccup tried to steer her away.

She snorted. "Dragons?"

"Yeah, yeah shut up. I went through a stage when I was fifteen."

"I'm not teasing you, I'm just in awe. I could never get past stick figures. You're so talented."

"I'm glad somebody thinks so," he said under his breath.

She turned to look at him, eyes slightly narrowed. "You really care about what your dad thinks of you, don't you?"

He scoffed, crossing his arms and setting up his emotional armor. "No, why would I... what would make you think that."

"It's clear as day, Hiccup," she said flatly, raising an eyebrow. "Literally any time your dad talks or is even mentioned you look like you've swallowed a lemon."

He sighed, uncrossing his arms in defeat. "I'm um... I dunno. I'm not the kind of son he wanted. He was hoping for a star quarterback- hell I think he'd even settle for a kicker. I'm not exactly the most coordinated and sports and I did not mix. I don't think he ever got over the disappointment. He realized I was smart and that kind of helped in high school, like 'even if my son can't play football he can graduate with high honors'. But then I choose a major he didn't value and once again I let him down."

She shook her head sympathetically. "You're so hard on yourself."

"You don't understand, Astrid. It's mostly been a constant string of criticism my entire life. I've managed to disappoint the man in everything I do, and unless I do things his way he will never be happy with my choices." He flopped onto his bed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to get carried away like that."

"No, it's good for you to talk about it. You keep a lot of stuff bottled up and that isn't healthy." She joined him on the bed, running her hand over the downy comforter.

He snorted. "Criticizing my coping method now?"

"No, I just-"

"I'm teasing you."

She pursed her lips. He didn't sound like he was teasing. Instead of trying to draw him out any more, she slid her hand behind his neck and gently kissed him.

"Well, I'm happy with you, just the way you are."

He smiled, one corner of his lip lifting, though he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Thanks."

"I've noticed your mom really encourages you and your art."

"Yeah, but that's because she's my _mom_. That's what moms do."

"Hey, not everyone's mother is supportive like yours. You should appreciate her."

"I do appreciate her, you make me sound like a bad son." He frowned.

"You're not a bad son," she said quickly, "but it seems like you take her love for you for granted. Like you think because it's 'just your mother' that it somehow doesn't count."

"Well..." he said, stewing on her words. "She gave birth to me, isn't she obligated to love me."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you," Astrid said. "But a lot of people don't have mothers like yours. Valka seems really nice and I can see how much she loves you."

He was silent for a moment before nodding. "Thanks. You're right."

"Even if you don't believe me, there are people in your corner, Hiccup."

He looked up at her and gave her a genuine smile.

"Don't you dare say something stupid like you don't deserve me or something. I can see you're thinking it! Stop it."

He laughed and shook his head. She leaned in for a kiss and lingered instead of pulling away. Hiccup shifted his position on the bed, cupping her cheek and deepening the kiss. She made a little noise as he leaned her back, half laying on top of her. When they both came up for air she grinned at him.

"Are we really going to make out on your old bed in your parents' house when they're right downstairs?"

"Feels like high school again, doesn't it?" he teased.

"You're gonna mess up my hair and wrinkle my dress."

"Don't care." He dived back in, boldly exploring with his hands. He palmed a breast first, squeezing gently then running his hand up around her neck. His fingers probed her jaw and ear, which made her shiver. She gripped his shirt, sliding a hand down to the front of his pants. He followed her lead and slid his hand into the dip of her waist, over her hip, down her thigh, and under her dress. He slipped her underwear halfway down her thighs.

"Hiccup!" she gasped. "What are you doing?!"

"You know what I'm doing," he said, low and confident, twisting his fingers just so.

Her hips bucked into his palm. "Mmm!"

"I love it when you wear a dress. Easy access." He peppered kisses on her neck.

"We- we shouldn't... oh my goodne- we-"

"Yeah, we should," he said, placating her with another curl of his fingers and a swipe of his thumb.

She writhed underneath him, hoping the plush carpets in the hallway didn't muffle the sound of any footsteps lest they get caught, which would be the _most embarrassing_ thing ever. Even more embarrassing than being stuck in his closet sans clothing.

Still, if he was going to rile her up two could play that game. She settled for gripping him over his pants, as his belt would require too much time to re-buckle should someone open the door. He stood at full attention already so she started a rhythm to really get him going.

He groaned and his kisses became less controlled and finessed. She was approaching that glorious precipice when Valka called up the stairs.

"Dinner's almost ready you two!"

They broke apart hastily and Astrid flopped her fists onto the bed. "Noooooo!" she whined, wriggling around and rubbing her thighs together.

"Aaah... uh oh," he said, glancing down at the obvious problem in his pants.

Astrid snorted. "It's your own damn fault. You're a mess."

"Just, um..." He reached out and smoothed down Astrid's hair. "There. You go downstairs and stall for a moment. Tell them I had to go to the bathroom."

"You're not seriously going to _take matters into your own hands_ at your parents house on Thanksgiving, are you?" she asked incredulously, sliding her underwear back up. She grimaced at the uncomfortable dampness.

"What?! No! Ugh, no, what? I'm gonna think about baseball and hope it goes away!"

She couldn't help but giggle. Just to be cheeky, she leaned up and gave him one more kiss and sauntered out the door, swaying her hips as much as possible. She heard him scowl behind her.

"Not helping! I know what you're doing!"

"See you downstairs!" she chirped, waving her fingers at him over her shoulder.

She found Valka and Stoick in the kitchen, carving the turkey.

"Hiccup will be right down, he's in the bathroom. Is there anything I can help with?" Astrid asked brightly.

"Ach, thank ya but no lassie, you just make yer way into the dining room and 'ave a seat."

She reclaimed the two wine glasses she and Hiccup had abandoned and walked with Valka into the formal dining room. Valka placed several dishes of food onto trivets and Astrid choose a seat for her and Hiccup, who appeared a moment later. He took a healthy swig of his wine as his mother left to gather the rest of dinner.

"How're you doing?" Astrid asked surreptitiously over the rim of her own wine glass.

"Peachy," he said grumpily. "And glad there's a table cloth."

She smirked saucily. "It's only fair, since you left me high and dry."

"Not on purpose!" he hissed. Then he smirked. "Also, you definitely weren't _dry_ -"

He cut off and straightened up guiltily as Stoick brought in a large ceramic dish full of turkey and Valka, hands full, entered right behind him. Astrid shot Hiccup a look and jumped up to whisk away a bowl of sweet potatoes and a basket of buns to help.

"Oh, thank you dear," Valka said, setting down the rest and surveying the table. "I think that's it!"

"It looks delicious," Astrid complimented.

"Then let's eat!" Stoick heaped his plate with turkey and started the rounds of food.

Astrid hadn't been entirely sure what to expect out of a dinner with Hiccup's parents. She interacted with Valka for a moment the night they were interrupted after the Halloween party, and her only other experience was eavesdropping from a closet. Hiccup's relationship with them was strained and she was concerned she wouldn't have much to talk about, at the very least worried Hiccup's attitude would cloud her own judgment of them. To her surprise they were quite charming and she got along swimmingly with his father. They weren't at a loss for conversation and Stoick was very interested in her schoolwork, and even her high school volleyball career.

Hiccup was barely a step above sullen for most of the dinner, sprinkling in just enough comments so as not to appear antisocial. Astrid wondered if he was still suffering from their little session in his bedroom or if something more troubling was going on. She attempted to keep the focus on herself so he wouldn't have to be the subject of any passive aggressive remarks.

Once the main meal was consumed and Valka brought out coffee and pumpkin pie for dessert, Astrid considered the whole affair a success. His parents were nice, they appeared to like her, and no further comments were made about Hiccup's major.

Aside from perking a bit over pie, his demeanor stayed the same. She couldn't figure out why he wasn't in a better mood. Leaving him sitting at the table swishing the remaining wine around his glass, Astrid attempted to help clear the dishes. Stoick and Valka had none of that, insisting she should check out the game room downstairs while they cleaned up after dinner.

"Wow," Astrid said, eyes wide as she took in the finished basement.

"Yeah," Hiccup shrugged.

"You have everything down here. Foosball, pool, air hockey, darts... You have an entertainment stand with every videogame system imaginable."

"Quite the setup, huh."

"I'll say. If you have all these consoles, why did you only bring the Gamecube to your apartment?"

"Oh, uh... I play Animal Crossing on it a lot."

"I know you do. But don't newer systems have Animal Crossing too? I always wondered why you play all the older games."

"Yeah. I guess I just sort of have a special attachment to the Gamecube."

"Oh?"

His behavior indicated he was slightly embarrassed about something and he didn't want to admit it. "Ah, well my dad went with me and stood in line to get it on launch day. After we bought it we went out for breakfast. It was just a really nice morning."

"I see," she said softly. "Well that makes sense then."

"Yeah. Fish and I sure had some good times down here," he said, changing the subject.

"Who's Fish?"

"My best friend from high school. He's the one I used to live with but then he and his girlfriend got serious and I had to move."

"You still talk to him?" she asked.

"We text now and then. Girlfriends have a way of taking up a lot of time." He smiled.

"Well excuse me," Astrid huffed playfully. "I can keep to myself if you need more alone time."

"I've had plenty of alone time. I'm more than happy to have you fill in all the free time in my schedule."

"But don't you miss hanging out with Fish?"

"Sure. But to be brutally honest you're a lot prettier than Fish, and I don't wanna make out with him, sooo..."

Astrid laughed. "Really. That's the whole reason you want to hang out with me?"

"I guess you say funny things sometimes. And you're smart. And you have boobs."

"You and boobs."

"What can I say, I'm a red-blooded male, I just can't contain all this." He flexed his arm.

"Wow," she deadpanned, rolling her eyes with a grin. "Those noodle arms are truly a sight."

"Hey," he said, mock offended. "Seriously though, don't worry. Fish dropped off the radar well before you came into the picture. He spent more time with his girlfriend than me even when we were still living together. It happens. That's why I'm glad I found you."

"Hmm. Just for the making out?" she challenged with a smirk, eyebrow raised.

He laughed. "Only one of the reasons I love hanging out with you, milady."

She smiled at him tenderly, and felt just a bit of internal wonder at the way her chest warmed and her heart fluttered at the word _love._ It wasn't meant as a declaration of any sorts, yet it caused an involuntary reaction in her and sent her thoughts spinning. Those kinds of feelings had been slowly creeping into her subconscious, all the nights spent cuddled in his bed, doing _other_ things in his bed... talking at the coffee shop before school, lazing about on the weekend, playing with Toothless on the floor, singing to Stormfly to make her chirp along-

_Too soon_.

"For real, Astrid. I was teasing before, I mean, don't get me wrong your body is _amazing_ , but your company, just watching tv or playing games or doing whatever is awesome too. You're kind of, I mean, I dunno... my best friend, I guess," he mumbled at the end, scratching the back of his head and looking away.

A brilliant smile lit up her face and she cupped his cheeks in her hands, bringing his face up to look at her.

"Babe! That's so sweet! You're my best friend too." She pecked him on the lips.

"Really? I would've thought Ruff..."

She shrugged. "Ruff is my best female friend then? You've become very important to me in such a short amount of time. I guess all that making out you and I do sort of brought us closer together, huh?" she smirked.

"Like I said, it's a perk to hanging out with you but I keep coming back because you're an awesome person."

"Aww, it just became one big sap fest up in here, didn't it?" she grinned.

"Sure did. Here let me fix that- I also keep coming back because lady parts."

She rolled her eyes. "All right Romeo, why don't we stop all this feelings stuff and make use of this completely awesome pool table."

"You wanna make out on top of it? The pool balls might get in the way, but I'm game- just make sure you don't rake your nails on the surface; my parents will kill me if they have to re-felt the table-"

"Hiccup!"

"Oh! Oh you mean _play_ a game of pool. Like actually hit the balls around with a stick. Okay I totally misunderstood you." He grinned roguishly at her.

"You are the biggest dork."

"But I'm _your_ dork."

"Lucky me," she sang. She noted with relief that his mood had improved considerably which would make their game a lot more fun. "And not so lucky for you, I am super good at pool so you're probably going to get nice and acquainted with the word _loser_ again."

"Such trash talk. Did you forget I grew up with this pool table?"

"Right, but this is all Ruff, Tuff, and I did in the commons between classes our first semester, so I got in a lot of practice. Wanna put your money where your mouth is?"

"You are hyper competitive. I think you might have a serious gambling problem. Should I be worried? Are you going to be one of those spouses who gambles away your paycheck and then I have thugs beating down my door threatening to kneecap me or break my thumbs if I don't pay up?" he teased.

"Hey!" she said, jabbing her pool stick at him over the table, purposely tamping down the raw feelings bubbling up in her chest at his mention of them potentially being _spouses_. She knew it was his way of joking and wasn't at all serious, but the idea of them, in the future-

She derailed the train of thought. This wasn't the time to mull over heavy things like that. This was the time to kick his sarcastic little butt at pool and then gloat about it the whole way home.

"Rack 'em up, babe. Less talk more action."

"You like that phrase, don't you." He pulled the rack from its slot and started gathering up the pool balls, arranging them in the correct order.

"I am a woman of action, after all," she said, chalking the tip of her pool cue.

"You sure are."

"And you, you never shut up," she giggled.

"I thought you liked my mouth and the things it can do for you," he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"I do, for sure," she purred. "Especially when it's between my thighs."

"I will take that as a compliment of my skills."

"And I will take that as my prize when I win."

"Oh, so we're betting sexual favors now?"

"Don't we always?"

He pursed his lips. "True. Well milady, when I win, I hope you're willing to put your own mouth to good use- _in the car on the way home_."

She straightened up and looked at him with her mouth hanging open. "What?! Are you seriously betting _road head_?"

"Stakes too high for you? Want to back out now?" He was entirely too smug for her liking.

"You're on," she said confidently. "Do you want to break or should I?"

"Ladies first."

"Alright. It's your defeat on the line," she said, lowering down to her shot. She broke the arrangement, one stripe and one solid both plunking into pockets.

"I call stripes; it's lucky for me," she said. "Sucks to be you!"

"Oh, I am positive I won't be the one sucking, at pool or later tonight," he sassed, leaning on his cue.

"Oh my God," she groaned.

"I can do this all night." He grinned. "Take your extra shot."

She shook her head and eyed up the table. When she found the sweet spot she purposely draped over the edge as suggestively as possible, perking her rear up in the air, even wiggling it a little for extra measure. She glanced at Hiccup to make sure he was watching. Maybe she could fluster him enough to throw him off his game.

Just as she was about to strike the cue ball she felt a hand run over her behind. She yelped and stood up straight.

"Hiccup! That's cheating, you can't touch me!"

"Oh, and being all sexy and trying to tempt me isn't cheating?!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she huffed.

"If you had pants they'd be on fire. You know exactly what you're doing."

"Control yourself, _sir_."

"Then don't point your ass at me, _miss_."

"I am just trying to play a fair and square game of pool in which the winner gets her choice of sexual favor," she said with pretend stiffness. "I cannot be held responsible for your _boy thoughts_."

"You are so full of it. Don't worry, I'll have my revenge. Still your turn, milady." He gestured to the table.

She narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion, but sunk another stripe into a pocket with considerably less targeted sex appeal.

"Mm, I can feel your lips on me already," she sighed happily, circling the table.

He stayed silent with an amused quirk to his mouth.

"Really? No sarcastic little quip for me?" she said with a cute pout, cocking her hip over the edge of the table and cleanly sinking the eleven into the left corner.

"I'm just patiently waiting for my turn like the gentleman I am."

"Ha!" She snorted, making sure to give him a good view of her cleavage down the front of her dress while she sunk the twelve and then the nine. "Yes! At this rate you might not get a turn."

"We'll see."

"Two left!" she cheered. Unfortunately for her, there were too many solids in play and they obstructed the cue ball's path to either of her stripes and she missed.

"Oh, too bad," Hiccup said, chalking the tip of his cue stick and stepping up.

"I still see a lot of solid color out there, babe."

"You won't in a minute."

"Hm, can you back up all this talk?"

"Watch and learn, beautiful," he said, surveying the table and measuring angles with his cue stick. She frowned; he was looking at the table way too intently.

"Oh, you bastard," she whispered when she realized what he was doing. She should've known. "You're calculating the paths using the diamond markers, aren't you. Damn it."

He merely grinned and took his first hit, removing the two and six. His next shot took out the one, and he proceeded to clear the table of solids except for the three, which was situated near the eight ball and he couldn't get a clean hit without possibly sinking the eight prematurely. So he broke up the arrangement and waited for Astrid, smirk firmly planted on his face.

"Well, fuck," she said, considering her options. In dislodging his three he also managed to place the cue ball in a poor position for her shot prospects. She lined up the best she could but it bounced off the pocket and rolled away.

"I know you hate losing but I promise I won't rub it in your face too much. Except for, well you know, when I rub it in your face in the car tonight-"

"Hiccup," she said with a growl, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. She was not a graceful loser.

"I'm sorry, that was too far, wasn't it," he said, but he couldn't hide the glee in his voice.

She wanted to smack the smirk off his face but settled for tapping her foot impatiently.

He had no trouble putting the last solid away. As an added insult to injury he purposefully cleared the table of her two remaining balls as well. He carefully arranged his winning shot.

"Eight ball, right corner pocket," he called, pointing to it with his cue stick.

Astrid scowled ferociously when it sailed in with a decisive clink.

"Okay, so I know you're a little mad-"

" _Ass_ ," she muttered, thrusting her cue stick in his hands and walking away.

"I tried to warn you!"

"No you didn't! It's not really fair when you failed to mention you were a fucking pool shark. You _hustled_ me!"

"You're the one who started the betting thing."

"I know, you don't have to keep talking about it!"

"Okay, but I rarely win against you so excuse me if I'm kind of reveling in this one- plus I get road head!"

She growled in exasperation.

"I didn't hustle you, I promise! I'm just really good at pool, I told you that!"

"Right, right but you didn't admit you were a _math wizard_ at it. Your dad is right, if you can do all those calculations in your head why the hell didn't you go into engineering?!-"

It happened so fast. As soon as the words were out of her mouth Astrid wanted to take them back. In her head she pictured grabbing them and stuffing them back in before they could float away, over to Hiccup and slice right through the heart of him.

"-Oh... oh no... Hiccup, no wait I-"

She saw a look of utter betrayal flash across his features before it dissolved into indifference.

_Stupid, stupid!_

"I did not mean that. I'm a horrible loser and I say stupid things I don't mean when I'm angry. Hiccup I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay," he mumbled, delicately placing the pool cue sticks and chalk back in the rack as if on auto pilot.

"No, it's not okay, I didn't mean it," she said vehemently, reaching out for him, but the damage had already been done.

He leaned against the table, neutral and blank, and shrugged. "Ready to go upstairs?"

"Shouldn't we talk? Hiccup..."

"It's fine, Astrid. We should probably see if my parents are done with the dishes."

_Shit. Shit shit shit._ The whole night she was trying to help avoid his father making a comment and in the end she was the one who thoughtlessly said it.

"Okay," she said, contrite and unsure what she could say to undo everything, to fix this. Hiccup was too passive to yell and scream and stomp away, like she would've done. It was easy to see how hurt or angry she was in any given argument, but with him it was impossible to tell just how deeply he'd been cut; he never let it show. She assumed with how much he shut down now it was deep enough.

Once upstairs, they visited with Stoick and Valka in the living room. She tucked her feet underneath herself on the couch and leaned against him, as though somehow her earnest proximity could heal her thoughtlessness.

Maybe he had shaken off the events downstairs- he seemed back to normal, smiling and offering his usual wit as they chatted with his parents.

Then she realized with a surge of anxiety he was faking it. He didn't bother concealing his mood when he was sullen all throughout dinner, which meant the more effort he put into his charade the more he was hiding.

Guilt clenched her heart and seized her lungs as he laughed at one of Stoick's jokes.

It was going to be a long ride home.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Eventually it was time to go, well after eleven at night, and Hiccup and Astrid said their goodbyes. Stoick swept Astrid into a huge hug and she giggled. Valka pulled her in tight as well. The two took their leave with several containers of leftovers and strict instructions to come around for dinner again sometime soon.

Hiccup's act dropped the moment he was out of sight of his parents. Astrid was uncharacteristically quiet as she watched him going through the motions, opening her car door for her and loping around the other side to get in.

He pulled away from the drive, silent as a stone. She desperately ran damage control plans in her head and reached for his hand and squeezed it. His fingers curled just the slightest, but he didn't press back.

After another agonizing moment of silence, she couldn't stand the chasm between them anymore.

"Hiccup?" she said meekly, her voice feeling loud and out of place in the quiet car. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean that at all. It was more of a joke than anything, said in a moment of anger. I don't think your dad is right. Even though you're so talented at many things, you should pursue your passion because it's what makes you happy."

He nodded, glancing in the rear view mirror, but not at her.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"...Are you sure?"

"I know you didn't mean it."

"I really didn't, babe. I'm so so sorry."

He was so painfully devoid of emotion it made her heart constrict. She let go of his hand and placed hers on the waistband of his pants. "Can I make it up to you? A bet's a bet after all."

His lips twitched and he gently removed her hand, giving it a squeeze this time. "Don't worry about it."

"No, we had a deal. I owe you."

"Raincheck, then."

She sighed. "Okay." She looked down and twiddled with her fingers in her lap. "I'm sorry I ruined Thanksgiving."

"You didn't ruin Thanksgiving. If anything, I was the one who ruined it."

She furrowed her brows and looked over at him. "Uh, how? You're not the one going around saying totally insensitive things on accident."

"I wasn't the best company tonight."

"You were fine. I mean, I could tell you weren't completely yourself at dinner. Was something wrong?"

Hiccup sighed heavily, his hand tightening on the steering wheel. She wished he would at least look at her, but he avoided eye contact and it made her anxious. Like she had messed up more than he was letting on.

"Hiccup? Please talk to me. I don't want you to keep stuff bottled up, especially if I've upset you. I know you said you're not angry at me, but I can't help but worry you are."

He shook his head, his eyes darting between the road and the side mirrors. "I'm not mad at you. None of this is your fault."

She waited pointedly, wanting to draw more out of him. She studied his face and his body language, and she realized he wasn't lying to her. His behavior was indicative of his own perceived inadequacies surfacing. Whenever he actually shared pieces of himself and truly let her in, she stored them away, attempting to fit them all together to complete the enigma that was Hiccup into something resembling a whole puzzle. It was encouraging and entirely frustrating all at the same time. She deeply cared for the person he allowed her to see, but always felt there was a hidden layer of him she had yet to unlock, and it became harder and harder to brush aside the hurt over his refusal to give her the key.

"So?" she prompted. "I thought dinner went really well. Your parents are really nice, like genuinely nice people, and your dad didn't make any comments about your major. I thought you'd be relieved."

He visibly deflated and she internally panicked. Had she said something wrong again?

"I'm sorry, Astrid," he said, his shoulders tensing. "It's gonna sound... _really_ stupid. And I don't really want to tell you what's wrong. Apparently I'm bad at hiding things around you."

"I think you hide plenty of things, Hiccup," she said, attempting to keep the sternness out of her voice. That was a touchy subject as it was. "So, how about you talk about this."

"Yeah, okay," he said, resigned. "You're right. My dad didn't make any comments about me at dinner. But I did watch his eyes light up while he was talking about you."

Astrid frowned. "Isn't... that a good thing? It would really suck if your parents didn't like me, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah."

"So... what's the problem?"

"The problem is me. It's my problem, not yours. This is why I didn't want to talk about it."

"Okay, stop being so vague and out with it."

"He wanted to know everything about you, what you're doing in college, your plans afterward. He even talked about your high school sports. It... it is a _good_ thing. I'm glad you get along with him so well. But he took to you instantly because you're basically everything he's ever wanted." His face fell. "It was hard to watch him praise you, that's all."

"Oh, Hiccup," Astrid said sadly, grabbing his hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I kept him talking about me because I was trying to avoid him saying anything about you. I didn't realize..."

"See? I feel terrible because you're really sweet to do something like that. I do appreciate it. I should've hidden it better, it's not your fault-"

"No. That's your real problem. You need to stop hiding things. We can't fix stuff and avoid issues like this if we don't talk it out. I don't want to accidentally hurt you and have you put on a brave face and soldier through it. That's not healthy, babe, and it only makes it possible for it to happen again."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right," she said briskly. "Don't hide things like that from me."

"Noted," he said, but she didn't like the hint of defeat in his voice.

"I have a question. When your mom gave you that big check, you acted like it wasn't a normal thing and you worried there was going to be a fight over it. Your parents live in that big fancy house, yet you have a job at a dinky little hardware store and you live in our shitty apartments. Are you paying for everything on your own?"

"Figured that out, didn't you."

"I just want to know the situation."

"Dad said if I was going to waste my time, he wasn't going to waste his money. My mom tried to convince him to help, but it was an all out battle. She gives me a little something from time to time, but for the most part he said I was on my own. So all I have is what I can afford."

"Did you get into a fight over all that money your mom gave you?"

Hiccup furrowed his brow, thinking. "Well, no. He made some sarcastic comments about it, but we didn't fight over it and he never demanded the money back."

A smile appeared on Astrid's face. "You know why?"

He looked even more confused. "What. Why?"

"Because you're his son and he loves you."

Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Stop it! I saw that. He loves you. And honestly? Any disappointment you think he's feeling is only because he loves you that much and wants the best for you."

"Okay. But what he thinks is best for me and what I think is best for me is wildly different."

"Yep. And that's where all your friction is. But it's not because your dad doesn't love you. I can see it, Hiccup. Your dad is a pretty level guy, he just doesn't understand why you don't think like he does."

"Well, he doesn't try to think like I do. He doesn't try to see my point of view."

"And how much do you try to see his?"

Hiccup scoffed, frustrated. "I have tried to see from his perspective. All my life I've tried to fit into the mold he wants me to. I just... can't. I can't fill his shoes, I can't measure up to him. Like, literally, _physically_ , I can't. I've tried and failed countless times and disappointment is all I ever received for my effort."

"Okay, but... you're not thinking about this from _his point of view_. Think for a moment that you have a son and you love him to pieces, but he's so different from you. And you just want to have something to bond over with him. But he doesn't understand where you're coming from and he doesn't seem to like anything you like, and you're not good at anything he likes. You want to connect with your son but don't know the least bit how, and all your son does is fight you on everything and respond with sarcasm to your every attempt. How would that make _you_ feel?"

It was like a light went on in Hiccup's eyes. "...Disappointed..."

Astrid felt so proud of herself. This was Ruff level of reading people.

"Maybe, his disappointment isn't actually at you, it's at himself, for failing to connect with you on the most simplest level. But you read it as his disapproval of you."

Years of being set in his ways settled over Hiccup and he built his armor back up. "Maybe." He shrugged nonchalantly, as if he were brushing off everything she had just analyzed.

Astrid huffed. "You're just as stubborn as he is."

"Guess we do have something in common after all," he said, a mocking lilt to his voice.

"Hiccup," she warned.

"Sorry."

She squeezed his hand. "Are you gonna be okay?"

The sincerity in her tone made his eyes find hers for a quick moment, the first time on the ride home, and he gave her a somber smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I always make it through."

"You don't have to do it alone this time. Remember that."

He tapped their joined hands on his thigh. "Thanks."

ooo

Once they reached the apartments, Astrid split from Hiccup and stopped at her own to take care of Stormfly's needs and to drop a couple of pellets into Lenny's bowl. Ruff and Tuff had gone home for their own holiday and Astrid figured it was late enough Ruff wouldn't be returning. Once their pets were taken care of she went back over to Hiccup's.

Toothless meowed and greeted her at the door the instant she walked through.

"Hiya buddy!" she said, scooping him up and nuzzling her face into his downy fur while he purred. "Where's Hiccup, huh? Where is he?" She held the cat precariously in one arm while she used the other to unzip her boots.

The bathroom door was open, but his bedroom was closed. She approached it and listened, wondering if he was still getting ready for bed. It was unlike him to lock Toothless out, however. Perhaps he didn't realize Toothless was still in the living room.

It was common for him to close the door while he removed his prosthesis and changed into pajamas as Astrid used the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Once he finished he would wait in bed for her, usually on his phone, before they settled in for the night. Toothless liked to curl up at the end of the bed or sleep on their pillows with his fluff in their faces.

It was silent on the other side, so she knocked lightly and opened the door when she heard an intelligible noise in response.

He was already lying down with his back to the door, phone plugged in and charging. She frowned as she entered but didn't say anything as she set Toothless down on the bed and dug in Hiccup's dresser drawer for one of his t-shirts to sleep in like she normally did. She shed her dress and bra and noted he didn't even turn around for the show. She felt a pang in her heart, knowing he was still affected by the evening.

She slid under the covers and cuddled up to his back. Generally she was little spoon when they slept, but tonight he merely grunted when she put her arms around him and nosed the nape of his neck. She rubbed his chest with her thumb and kissed the freckled skin above the back of his collar.

"You okay?" she asked, just above a whisper.

"Tired," was his only mumbled response.

"Okay." She ceased the affectionate gestures and settled against her pillow dejectedly. After a moment, she was surprised as he turned and rolled her onto her back. He buried his face against her chest, roped his arms around her and slid a thigh between her legs. He stilled, but the embrace soothed her mounting worries and she rubbed his back as his hair tickled her chin.

Days like this served to remind her how new their relationship technically was, which always struck her as odd. They formed such an easy going friendship it felt like they had been together for years, instead of a month and change. She was still learning what to say and what not to say- things that put him at ease, things that hurt him.

She didn't want to hurt him, ever. From the pieces of his past she had gathered, he had been wounded enough, physically and figuratively.

Her mind drifted back to their conversation in the basement, before she ruined the evening. He admitted she was his best friend. Warmth filled her chest, but she supposed it was an easy position to fill as he didn't seem to have many close friends anymore. He talked about classmates but rarely saw them outside of class. She wondered what he did before they met. Aside from when he brought Heather home, she didn't recall him entertaining anyone else in his apartment. He had Fish, but she remembered him mentioning a lonely semester and Fish spending more time with his girlfriend.

He was still clinging to her and she hugged him tighter. Something in her wanted to protect his heart with every fiber of her being. Somehow she had become beholden to him without even realizing it.

_Too soon?_

But maybe not. Maybe these things didn't have a strict timetable. They came together naturally, instead of filling roles that were like a cliche, only an item because everyone thought they should be together.

Her fingers tightened on the back of his shirt.

She felt this way because of him and his presence in her life, instead of misguided peer pressure. Feelings were so confusing and muddled, but she couldn't deny the slow realization.

One thing was for certain, she was in deep and she didn't care if she couldn't get out.

ooo

"This sucks, Stormfly!" Astrid said, flopping back on her bed. Stormfly chirped and landed next to her head, picking at her hair to groom it. "I hate, haaaate, haaaaaate end of semester finals. This blows."

She rubbed her hands down her face, feeling like her tired eyes were about to fall out of their sockets.

Stormfly hopped up to perch on her hand. She lifted it and gazed at her avian companion. "You can just do this studying for me, can't you girl? You're smart, you'll pass all these tests."

"I dunno, she might have trouble lighting the bunsen burners. Supposedly you need thumbs for that kind of task."

Astrid looked up to see Hiccup at her door, holding several items in his hands.

She perked instantly. "Is that _chocolate_ I see?"

"That it is, milady," he said with a grin. "Along with a mocha latte."

"You are the best boyfriend ever," she declared, leaping up and lithely pressing herself against him, arms wrapped around him and the coffee in an awkward but appreciative hug.

"Thank you. I figured you needed a break, cause I needed one too."

She took her cup and the milk chocolate bar from him and happily sat cross legged on the floor, grateful for the distraction. Stormfly found her favorite spot on her shoulder.

"One more week. One more week and then it's all over," she sighed.

"Yeah, until the next semester starts in a month," he said, joining her.

"Shh, just give me this. I'm excited for Christmas and I'm pretending school doesn't exist."

He scratched the back of his neck, his tell that he was uncomfortable. "Have you decided what we're going to do yet?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's so difficult to work out holidays as a couple! We lucked out with Thanksgiving because my parents went down to visit my grandparents and they didn't mind I couldn't come. They're expecting us for Christmas though."

"Maybe we should just plan for one of our families on Christmas Eve and the other Christmas Day?"

"Do you even have off Christmas Eve?"

"The hardware store closes three hours early. So, if you want, we could see if my parents don't mind us coming Christmas Eve. The less I have to endure the comments the better."

"Oh stop. Thanksgiving went fine, if it weren't for my stupid mouth."

"Your mouth is anything but stupid."

"Well the filter sure wasn't working that night," she said, frowning.

"Stop beating yourself up over it, Astrid. It's not a big deal."

She couldn't help but worry over it. The more she got to know Hiccup the more she realized she didn't know him at all, not really. She picked at his shell the best she could, bit by bit, breaking off pieces, but it felt like she was using a toothpick instead of a pick axe. She knew anything concerning his father affected him deeply and her comment, as innocent sounding as it had been, was the exact type of thing to cleanly and effectively cut him down. She couldn't understand why he was always so quick to forgive any of her transgressions, and it made her fret he was harboring grudges he just didn't let show.

The thing was, if he was holding a grudge he _really_ didn't let it show. After that night, during which they held each other until morning, he resumed all normal activity. He teased and flirted, they made out after class, and fell asleep big spoon and little spoon like every other night.

She managed to avoid any other big blow up fights for the better part of a month and their status quo remained, but she didn't like the feeling of walking on eggshells around the obvious triggers. At what point would the dam burst, when would he consider it safe enough to let her inside.

She craved it. Never had she yearned to know someone so deeply. Definitely not her high school boyfriend, whose interests barely extended beyond sports, specifically football. He was intelligent in his own right, managing good grades to stay on top of the team, but he wasn't intuitive in the way Hiccup seemed to absorb knowledge like a sponge. She liked that. She never associated intelligence with sexy before, but Hiccup's pretty exterior housed a sharp and witty mind that attracted her like nothing else.

It was for this reason she stayed. He made it worth it, through all the secrets he hid and the emotional walls he built. She knew if she could just hang in there long enough eventually he'd break, and she would be there to clean up the mess afterward and put him back together again.

She focused on his lips as he took a hesitant sip of his hot coffee. Sometimes she wanted to kiss the freckles on the bridge of his nose, which made him look youthful even with such an angular face. It wasn't the first time she got caught staring at his beautiful features and it wouldn't be the last. It amused her that it flustered him every time, like he was clueless how amazingly attractive he was. The ugly ducking didn't realize he was now a swan.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" he asked, looking at her warily.

"Nope," she said, grinning at him. "Unless you count my face."

"What are you talking about?"

She set down her cup and leaned in, pecking his nose and then his lips.

"Oh," he said sheepishly. "You know, you told me not to let you-"

"Don't care," she said, pushing his shoulders back against the bed and straddling him. Stormfly dismounted from her shoulder in a huff.

"Astrid, you told me not to let you get carried away-"

"Uh huh," she breathed, nipping his ear. He set down his coffee and placed his hands on her hips.

"You said, 'if I try anything, make me study. I can't afford to lose any study time.' You said that."

"Mmm, do you want me to stop then?" she said, licking under his jaw and rolling her hips suggestively against his lap, earning her a small grunt from the back of his throat.

She felt pleased when his voice was noticeably strained. "No... but I don't want to hear you complain when it's two hours later and you're panicking."

"Two hours?! You think you can hold out for two hours? I'm impressed. Let's see if you can, I'm gonna time you." Her voice was entirely too sultry as she nibbled at his chin.

He groaned. "Fine, but let the record show I put up a protest-" his words cut off when she placed her palm on the front of his pants.

"Does this convince you?"

"Thoroughly convinced, milady," he answered, lifting her off his lap so he could heft himself off the floor. He pushed her back onto the bed and she giggled. As he settled over her with a heated kiss, he felt the flutter of wings and little claws pricking his scalp. He pulled away from Astrid's lips and looked up comically as Stormfly perched on the top of his head, preening her feathers like she wasn't interrupting anything important.

"Do you mind?" Hiccup asked. "Kind of in the middle of something here."

Stormfly chirped and Astrid's giggles intensified.

"Between you and Toothless, I don't know how we ever get any privacy around here," he huffed. "Apparently our pets are little voyeurs."

"She just wants attention," Astrid said.

" _She_ wants attention?! How about _I_ want attention?!"

"Can you blame her when your hair is like a perfect fluffy little nest?"

He gave her a flat stare. "What."

She couldn't help but lose it at his expression. "Yeah, those 'just rolled out of bed' locks are way too tempting for her!"

He rolled his eyes and rested his chin in his hand, which was all the more hilarious with the bird still on his head.

"Give me just a minute," she laughed as he shifted to the side to let her up. She scooped Stormfly from her perch and gave her a kiss on the back of her head before setting her in the cage. Stormfly chirped at her mirror and Astrid draped the blanket over the cage to quiet her down.

"Now, where were we," she said, sauntering back over to the bed.

"About to take your shirt off, I believe."

"Oh, really? Is that what you were about to do?" she said, arching her eyebrow.

He nodded solemnly. "You were going to thank me for the chocolate and coffee."

"And how was I going to do that?" she asked, crawling over him.

"You've got a pretty active imagination. Surprise me."

She grinned and pounced.

ooo

"Whoo-whoop!" Astrid called, jumping up and down as she met Hiccup in front of the coffee shop.

"All done?" he asked with a grin, nose cherry red and breath steaming in the chill air.

"All done!" she cheered. "This feels _fabulous_. And I think I did really good on most of them, too!"

"Awesome. So all that lost study time last week didn't matter after all, huh?" he said slyly.

"Nope. Guess I'm smarter than I thought," she teased, grabbing his hand as they entered, warmth and the smell of coffee beans greeting them.

"You're one of the smartest people I know," he said, brushing snow off his coat and shaking out his scarf.

"Such a sweetie. Trying to butter me up so I'll pay?"

"No, but I'm not going to protest if you want to."

"Fine. You get it next time."

They both ordered and took their usual seat near the window.

"So, did you talk to your parents?" Astrid asked, curling her fingers around her cup and soaking up its heat into her cold hands.

"Yeah. They said Christmas Eve would be fine."

"Great. I'll tell my parents we can come Christmas Day then. Glad that's settled!" She beamed.

"Have you done anymore shopping?"

"I think I'm almost done. I just need to wrap everything. It's hard to hide stuff from you when we spend all our time together."

"You're telling me. I feel like I can't put your presents anywhere. I mean, I'd hide them in my closet-"

"Don't. Don't even."

"-but you seem to like hanging out in there, so-"'

"Hiccup!"

He grinned at her over his coffee cup.

"You're never going to let that one go, are you," she sighed.

"Nope. We'll be eighty and I'll still tease you about it."

_There-_ _comments like that_. Her heart fluttered in her chest.

A phone buzzed and they both checked- it was Astrid's with a text from Ruff.

_-Are you gonna be at our place or Hiccup's tonite?_

"Ruff wants to know who's apartment we're crashing at tonight. Yours or mine."

"I don't care. Although, I think Toothless has been a little lonely with all this end of semester stuff. I should probably bust out the old laser pointer for a bit at least if we decide your room."

"We can stay with Toothless then, it's fine," Astrid said. She typed back a message to Ruff. She snorted. "She probably wants to know if she's got the all clear to bring a dude over."

"Oh, is she off again with that one guy?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, it's weird. I haven't seen him at our place in awhile, but she talks about him like they're still on. Have no clue what's going on between the two of them."

"Do you think Ruff would ever actually settle down?"

"You know... she talks shit about committed relationships all the time like it's not her thing, but I know if she would just give it a chance she'd probably be happy. I think she's afraid of getting hurt, but all the casual interactions have to feel pretty empty at the end of the day."

"Ruff's a feisty one, but I've also noticed she's smart. Maybe she knows what she's doing?" Hiccup supplied.

"Could be. I just feel bad, I want her to be happy. I think she could be if she'd just get over her fears."

"Well, she's a big girl, she'll figure it out."

"Yeah, I know. I just wish I could help in some way."

"I get that. But sometimes people just need to work things out for themselves." He took one last sip of his coffee, emptying the cup. "Well, I'm ready to go when you are."

Astrid finished hers and stood up. "Hey, can we just quick stop by my place and feed Stormfly and Lenny? Then we can go to yours."

"Sure."

They headed back out into the cold, drawing hoods up over their hats. Hiccup possessed a parking pass to one of the university lots, which was a couple blocks away. She had never been more grateful for heated leather seats once they sought shelter in the car, blasting the heat and rubbing their hands in front of the vents.

When they reached the apartment Astrid heard the tv on and voices from within. Ruff had in fact brought someone home and she pressed her ear to the door, verifying they wouldn't be interrupting anything nefarious going on in the living room.

She unlocked the door and heard Ruff's voice cut off abruptly as she entered, Hiccup behind her.

"Astrid? What are you doing here?" Ruff asked, her tone borderline accusatory. She looked at her companion anxiously.

"I just came to feed Stormfly for the night, then we'll be out of your hair," Astrid said breezily, slinging her backpack down. "Oh, hey! You two have never met. This is-"

"Hiccup?" Snot was gazing at the two of them from the couch, a dumbfounded look on his face.

He looked up sharply. "Snot?"

"You two know each other?" Astrid said, looking at the two boys.

No one answered her, instead Snot glared at Ruff. "What is this?"

Ruff sighed, resigned. "Astrid's dating Hiccup, Snot. Has been for over two months."

" _What_?" He stood up from the couch with clenched fists. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"What the hell is going on?" Astrid asked, glancing between the three of her friends.

"What's going on is you refused to date me in high school stating you were _too good for me_ , claiming I was 'out of your league' but apparently dating my dorky ass cousin is okay now?"

"Hiccup is your _cousin_?" Astrid said weakly, looking up at Hiccup's face. His jaw was clenched and he refused to meet anyone's eyes.

"Yeah, he is." Snot swiveled to face Ruff. "When were you going to tell me this?" he accused.

Ruff shrugged, standoffish. "I dunno, never. Or wait until you figured it out in a really awkward situation, like now."

"This is some load of bullshit."

"Snot," Astrid chided.

"No. You were fucking Miss Queen Bee in high school, flouncing around like you owned the God damn place. I asked you out how many times and you always turned me down. I mean, you and Eret, yeah I got that, it made sense you'd chose him over me. Why wouldn't the two most popular kids in school date each other. But _Hiccup_?"

"Standing right here, Snot," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, me too," Ruff said, bitter frown on her face.

Astrid crossed her arms. "I don't owe you any explanation. I can't choose who I'm attracted to. You and I would never have worked and you know it; we were better as friends. There's a reason you earned your nickname, Snot."

"Yeah, that's right, shove that in my face. You know what, I don't care. Fuck this, I'm out." The snarl on his features seemed set firmly in place as he grabbed his jacket and brusquely brushed past both Hiccup and Astrid on his way out.

Ruff stood up. "And that, right there, is why I never started a relationship with Snot."

"Ruff," Astrid said sadly.

"It's not your fault, I don't blame you. But I'm not going to stick around to be someone's second choice, you know?"

"I... I didn't know..."

Ruff shrugged. "Well now you do."

"You knew Hiccup was Snot's cousin? Why didn't either of you tell me you knew each other?"

"We didn't know each other," Ruff said impatiently.

"Then how-?"

Ruff gave Hiccup a sympathetic look. "I recognized him instantly."

" _How_?" Astrid said. "We didn't go to the same school, he went to Berk West."

Hiccup was silent next to her, a brooding mess and Ruff sighed. "You'd probably recognize him too, if you thought about it."

" _What_? How, wait what?"

"I'm not going to tell you, Astrid. Not my place."

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded. "One of you needs to-"

"What I need right now, is a drink, and what you two need to do is talk," Ruff said, giving Hiccup a pointed look. "I never mentioned anything because Astrid didn't seem to remember and I didn't feel right letting the cat out of the bag. But obviously the air needs to be cleared here. I'm going out."

"But, Ruff-"

"You two need to talk," she said, grabbing her coat and giving Hiccup a supportive pat on the shoulder. Then she was gone.

"Aaaand once again my mere presence manages to ruin everyone's day," he said bitterly, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Hiccup-"

"I've gotta go."

"What?! No, you can't-"

He stalked out, shutting the door with a heavy hand before she could follow, leaving a stunned Astrid to stare into the aftermath of her empty apartment like a bomb had just gone off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note about Snotlout: On the surface it looks like the dude's just being a plain old jerk right here, but don't get out your torches and pitchforks just yet. More to come that will explain all...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright kids... buckle up because there is going to be a lot to cover in these next few chapters. I've been dropping subtle hints and things you probably didn't realize were significant since basically the first chapter. This is the start of it all coming out into the open. To be honest I'm kinda super excited you all get to see my little webs and connections paying off, so here we go!  
> Also this chapter is a little shorter than usual and I will explain why at the end.

"What the _hell_ just happened?!"

Frustration bubbled up in Astrid's throat and she felt like screaming. She just barely contained herself to stomping her foot and clenching her fists.

Once again Ruff knew things she didn't. Ruff claimed she recognized Hiccup right away and instead of revealing this fact, she let Astrid flounce around in ignorance until everything blew up in their faces. She wanted to throw a tantrum and whine. It was always an uphill battle and she never felt like she was running down the other side.

After her momentary pity party Astrid wheeled around and marched until she reached Hiccup's unit. She wasn't about to let him avoid this conversation again; it was time for answers. She turned the door handle and cursed when she discovered it was locked.

"Ooooh, you little _twerp_." She banged on his apartment door, uncaring about the noise. "Hiccup! Hiccup, I know you're in there!"

She heard Toothless meow on the other side. "Hey buddy, let me in, huh? I need to talk to your owner," she called to him sweetly. Her tone changed to a demand. "Come on, Hiccup! Don't make me go get my keys, because I _will_ just unlock the door. Either you let me in or I'll-"

The lock clicked and the door swung open.

"-break in," she finished. "Hiccup?"

He was gazing at the floor, half turned away from her with a distant and sad look on his face.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"No."

"Can I come in?"

He sighed. "I'm really not ready for this conversation."

"Too bad, it's happening," she said, walking past him into his apartment. "You've put it off long enough."

Toothless purred and wound around her legs, oblivious to the drama. She picked him up and petted him, knowing he wouldn't leave her alone unless she gave him a little bit of attention. She ran her hand through his downy fur as she stared at Hiccup, who fidgeted like he would rather be anywhere else.

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" She attempted a gentler tone, hoping it would calm him and coax him into speaking.

He sighed and shook his head, pacing away with a hand running nervously through his hair.

"Hiccup. We've been together for awhile now, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"But that's the thing, I don't know how to... how to start with this one."

"At the beginning, obviously."

"It's not that simple, Astrid," he said, frustrated.

"What are you so worried about?" She studied his face, then narrowed her eyes shrewdly. "Are you worried I'm going to judge you or something?"

_Bingo_. He hunched his shoulders, her astute observation the cause of his reluctance.

"You know that's ridiculous," she said briskly.

His doubled his pacing, his hands gesticulating unrestrained. "No, but see it's not ridiculous. You're... you're the coolest girl I've ever known and what you think _matters_."

Something about his phrasing struck her as odd but she didn't have time to contemplate it. "So?"

He threw his hands up in the air. "You don't understand the position I'm in. Either I don't tell you, we never take our relationship further and then you get mad and I lose you, or I do tell you, and you realize – you …you realize I'm not... you won't want me. And then I lose you."

She snorted. "Is there any situation in which you don't lose me in that little self destructive mess in your head?"

"Not really, no."

"Did you do something wrong?"

He scoffed. "No. I did not do anything wrong."

"Then why would I leave you."

"Because this is... it's... the worst thing that's ever happened to me."

"Is this about your accident? Because I'm not seeing how you'd scare me off-"

"It's not about the accident." He frowned and turned away. "Something different. Something much more...humiliating."

"So this is why you've been putting off this conversation? Because you think I'm going to, what, judge you? Be disgusted with you and break up with you on the spot?"

He lowered his head, hands wringing his hoodie sleeves.

"You're not giving me much credit, are you?"

"It's not like that. I didn't want to be your regret."

"Oh, for the love of- is this why you wouldn't sleep with me either?"

He wouldn't meet her eyes, lashes downcast.

"You didn't want to have sex because you worried once I found out the truth, of whatever it is you won't tell me, that I won't like you anymore, break up with you, and regret we were ever together?"

He nodded, unable to say anything else.

"Oh Hiccup, that's _ridiculous_."

He winced. "It didn't seem all that ridiculous to me."

"Well it is. I'm done with all this beating around the bush; you're going to tell me the full story and we're working this out. Let me start with a question. You and Ruff... how did Ruff know who you were? And why not me?"

The contrast of purring fluffy cat in her arms to the emotionally distant boy in front of her was jarring. She hugged Toothless closer and let his soothing rumbles vibrate against her chest.

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight. It took him a long time to answer, but he reluctantly gave in as it was clear Astrid wouldn't back down.

"I... um, it was... it was in the news."

"It was in the news?"

"Yeah. It was all over the place. It was all anyone in Berk talked about for at least two solid weeks."

"When was this?" she mused.

He swallowed. "Junior year in high school... you must've been the one person who didn't hear about it."

"I didn't... what..." She wracked her brain, throwing herself back to high school, trying to recall the big news stories that had everyone preoccupied for more than a few days.

Something twinged in the back of her memory, one little spark that burst into flame. All the dots connected in her mind and her eyes widened as her jaw dropped open.

"Oh my God," she said, waving her hand before placing it over her mouth. "Oh my God..." She slowly sank to the couch, Toothless settling himself into her lap.

"Theeere it is," he said quietly, turning away.

"You're Snot's cousin," she said, pointing a finger at him as she stared distantly. "That's how Ruff knew... Snot was _so_ angry. I... I did hear about you."

"You and every soul in Berk," he said bitterly.

"What those guys did to you was- was _horrible_. I remember thinking about how awful that must have been and I felt sorry for that poor, poor boy..."

His mouth twisted and he still refused to meet her eyes.

"That poor boy was _you_. Oh... oh, _Hiccup_..." She placed a hand over her heart. "How did I not... how did I not see that? How did I miss that?"

"It was a long time ago."

"Not that long ago," she said. "The story was everywhere but I don't know much about what happened, because Snot never told me."

She cast her mind back to that particular time in school. Everyone was talking about it, how it happened at their rival school, that it involved Snot's cousin. She remembered everyone asking Snot to reveal more inside information but he remained incredibly tight-lipped about it. The pressure of classes, tests, grades, volleyball, pom squad, friends, dating, maintaining the spotlight, and lack of intimate details ensured the story quickly plummeted on her priority list; filed away with all the other unimportant things not directly related to her life goals.

She couldn't possibly have known it would ever have relevance in the future, and her dismissive attitude in the past was sobering now. At least there was still time to make it right.

"What actually happened to you?"

He grimaced. "I don't really... I _hate_ talking about it. Do you see now?"

"I do. I get it, I don't blame you. But I'm a good listener and I'm here for you, okay?" She patted the couch seat beside her. "Ruff is right. We need to have this talk."

"I really wish we didn't. Since you already know about it, can we just, not?"

"This is what's been holding us back. I really think it's important." She studied him for a pause. "Were you ever going to tell me about this? Or were you just hoping I'd never remember?"

He slowly sat down next to her, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "Was honestly hoping you'd never remember."

"Seriously? So you weren't ever going to tell me?"

"Probably not, no."

"What about the fact you hinged us getting more physical on this?" she said tartly, crossing her arms.

"I would've eventually gotten over the body issues."

"But you still wouldn't have trusted me?"

He shrugged.

"Hmm," she said, pursing her lips. "Well, I'm going to try and not be hurt by that, and I just want to point out that I'm still here and waiting for you to tell your side of things."

He sighed heavily.

"Please Hiccup, please trust me. That's all I want. How did this all start?" she prompted, placing her hand on his thigh in a gesture of comfort.

Toothless sensed Hiccup's distress and crawled into his lap, butting his head against Hiccup's chin. He leaned back against the couch to give Toothless room, hands gently petting the cat that seemed to bring him peace.

"Alright, alright, fine. I'll... tell you everything," he said, resigned. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. "So, I started dating Heather in the beginning of sophomore year. What I didn't realize at the time was dating Heather put me directly into her ex boyfriend's line of fire. Heather broke up with him and the whole school was talking about it. To be honest, I think she dated me just to get under his skin. Anytime something significant happened in our relationship, it usually coincided with a very public argument between the two of them.

"Thomas tormented me anytime he could, cornering me outside the school building, flicking stuff at me during classes, confronting me at my locker. Stupid regular bullying stuff, which sucked but I did my best to avoid him. After my accident the summer between sophomore and junior year, you can imagine how much worse it got. He was a huge dick, but Heather just... well that was a whole other thing... He was always a grade A asshole to me."

"If he was such an asshole why did Heather date him in the first place?"

"I don't know, why _do_ girls ever date popular jock assholes?" Hiccup said dryly.

Astrid narrowed her eyes and huffed. "Nevermind. Dating someone's ex seems like a really shallow reason to do something like... what he did to you."

"Agreed. He hated me, but it was the court case that made him boil over."

"The court case?"

"Thomas's dad was the school coach. He oversaw football, baseball, and the girls' soccer team. Thomas of course was the school's resident football star, surprise surprise. He didn't become a huge dick without someone to model after."

She found his hand that wasn't occupied with petting Toothless and laced their fingers together.

"So, big scandal breaks and it turns out Thomas senior was embezzling money from the the sports teams he coached. He had quite the racket going- managed to nickel and dime parents out of money for every little thing, and charged higher fees than he reported to the school for students joining his sports. He constantly pushed fundraisers and other money-making side activities as requirements for participating on the team, you know, to 'help supplement the budget for uniforms and practice equipment.' All bullshit, Tom senior just pocketed it all. His whole operation was managed through shady bookkeeping and it had been going on for _years_. The only reason he was caught is because he got cocky and raised the start up fee even higher and parents complained to the school about how expensive it was. He was charged, the whole works, and his case crossed my dad's desk."

She frowned. "Is your dad a prosecutor?"

He shook his head. "Judge."

"Oh."

"My dad sentenced a pretty steep penalty. He had stolen so much money to the detriment of the parents, the school, and the students. So my dad handed him some swift justice and that was that."

She listened intently and Toothless stood up in his lap, purring and licking his cheek. "Thanks, bud," he said, pulling Toothless back down and hugging him close. "So after Thomas senior's sentence, Thomas junior was pretty angry."

"Oh no," she said, squeezing his hand.

"Yep. He did not take his fall from the top gracefully at all. He hyper focused all of his anger and embarrassment, taking it out on me because I was an easy target and my dad was the one who put his dad away. He was already bitter over Heather and this just put the cherry on top of his hate sundae. So, he and his friends premeditated a plan to get back at me."

He told his story with a disturbing blank face and flat even tone, as though cutting off all his emotions was the only way he could relive it. His hand never stopped petting Toothless, almost absentmindedly.

"One day after school I was walking out to my car alone. I wasn't um... the largest kid back in high school, like had all the strength of a wet noodle so it was pretty easy to overpower me..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The break happens here for two reasons: One, we're gonna have a major pov switch and two, the tag warnings for bullying and violence are for the next chapter. I figured it was easier this way to break them up and let people skim if they need to. Since there was some concern on fanfic.net when I posted this, there will not be, nor was there ever planned, non-con or dub-con in the next chapter. If I were ever going to write something with sensitive material such as that I would trigger warning and tag it all over the place. This isn't that kind of story. Anything of a sexual nature that happens in this fic is all consensual. But be warned, the next chapter may be a hard one to get through, because this is when the angst bus just full on ran me over :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... well this is it guys. To reiterate, some major trigger warnings for angst, violence, and bullying.
> 
> As for the actual content of this chapter... I'm a terrible person and if you happen to spot certain parallels... it absolutely was done on purpose because I'm really and truly terrible.

He never saw it coming.

Didn't hear it either, bobbing his head to the music filtering through his headphones as he limped to his car alone, his girlfriend off at softball practice.

Despite the awkward gait, there was a slight bounce in his step. He finally turned a corner in rehabilitation and demonstrated improvement walking on his temporary prosthetic. Maybe in a couple of appointments his doctor would prescribe an actual fitting. It was his first significant move forward in the healing process- he even started researching designs he could customize for himself online.

By the time he registered footsteps behind him it was too late. Strong hands grabbed his arms and he shouted in alarm.

His half zipped backpack slung over one shoulder was wrenched off as he wrestled, textbooks and folders spilling out on impact with the ground. His headphones were torn off in the scuffle and he protested when a boot stomped on them, cracking the headband.

"Hey! Those were expensive! What the hell-"

He was slammed up against the side of a truck, the collar of his hoodie clenched in a meaty fist.

"What the fuck is your problem, Thomas?" he snarled. His biggest headache was flanked by Ryan and Victor, the two shadows that followed the bully everywhere. A sick feeling twisted his stomach. Something wasn't right.

Thomas didn't even grace him with a reply. Ryan opened the door to the back of the cab and Thomas attempted to shove him into the vehicle. He kicked and flailed his limbs, vocally protesting and wildly looking for anyone to help, but his weekly study session in the library after class ensured the parking lot was deserted.

The realization felt like a sucker punch to his gut-

This had been planned.

He landed a good kick into Thomas's stomach, but Victor's grip on his hoodie from inside the truck and Ryan lifting up his good leg caused him to lose any footing he had to his advantage. Though his body was slight, he was spry enough that it took all three football players to haul him into the backseat of the cab. Once he was prone Victor sat on his legs. Ryan overpowered his arms and caught his wrists together, wrapping duct tape around them. Thomas slid into the driver's seat and turned the ignition, starting the engine with a roar.

Adrenaline surged through his system, panic seized his chest and stalled the breath in his lungs. He wriggled but it was no use. Thomas was already rolling out of the parking lot and he was at their mercy.

He couldn't help babbling nervously at the three stone-faced boys. "Guys, this isn't funny. Where are you taking me? Just stop the car, let me out now, and I won't even care. I won't tell anyone about this and we'll just pretend this never happened-"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Thomas said from the front seat. "Can't either of you do something about his fuckin' mouth?"

"Nope, just like we can't do anything about your fucking face," he sassed, his sarcasm always surfacing at the worst of times, like a verbal knee jerk.

Ryan cuffed him on the head for his retort and Thomas looked over the back seat with a snarl.

He tried to wiggle his legs from underneath Victor, but the boy was sitting solidly over his knees and a shooting pain radiated up from his residual limb. The binds on his wrists were too tight, cutting off circulation and causing the tips of his fingers to tingle. Hyperventilation didn't help, making his head dizzy even as he tried to hide it.

He kept up the struggle as they drove out of Berk, as though sitting and accepting whatever fate they had in store for him was giving up, no matter how afraid he truly felt inside.

Suburbs turned into sporadic houses set back in the trees. Hobby farms gave way to dense woods and a sharp thrill of terror tingled down his spine. He renewed his struggling and pleading with vigor, as if that would somehow change their minds.

Thomas turned the truck down a dirt path, a back road used by the odd hunter or two during deer season. Bramble crunched under the tires and branches scratched against the windshield as they whipped past the deeper into the woods they drove.

Once he ran out of room to drive, Thomas stopped the truck. He flipped off the ignition and turned around with a malicious grin, resting his elbow on the back of the seat. Ryan and Victor smirked back.

All pretense of his bravado vanished and he tensed against the two classmates holding him down. He resisted as Victor opened the door and grabbed his legs while Ryan hefted his upper body. He thrashed around and made it as difficult as possible, but even as he scrambled like a cat trying to avoid a bathtub he knew it was hopeless. Ryan gave him a final violent shove out of the cab and he fell to the ground, landing hard in the dirt as he couldn't catch himself with his bound hands.

"Get up," Thomas ordered.

He awkwardly lurched to his feet, grimacing in pain. Fear bubbled up his throat and choked any more verbal protests.

"March." Thomas shoved his shoulder and propelled him forward. He stumbled over an exposed root and fell, the metal foot of his prosthetic not intended for such uneven and bumpy terrain. A hand under his arm roughly tugged him back up and kept him moving.

His thoughts raced along with his heart. He wasn't sure how deep into the woods they were taking him. There was no longer any sort of path; branches snagged his clothing, scratched his face, and the ground mostly consisted of stones, roots, and fallen leaves beneath a layer of undergrowth.

"There," Thomas said gruffly.

They shifted directions and tugged at him to follow, forcing him to climb down a steep rocky path into a small cove. He struggled with his footing, his prosthetic not meant for rock climbing any more than hiking.

Once they reached the bottom, Ryan struck the back of his legs with a foot. "On your knees, punk." He hadn't the strength to counteract it and down he went.

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded.

"It's called revenge. My dad's in jail because of your dad, dumbass," Thomas said.

His defense mechanism kicked into high gear. "First of all, I'm smarter than all three of you put together. Second, your dad is in jail because he ripped off the whole school system. My dad was just doing his job- _well_ , might I add."

Thomas hissed, grabbed his hoodie and shoved him backward to the ground. "You don't know _nothing_ ," he snapped.

He rolled to the side and sat back up, dusting himself off with a glare at Thomas. "I know plenty, actually. Your dad did terrible things and you think you can take your anger out on me? How is doing any of this going to change what happened or the fact your dad is the worst? Seriously Thomas, I don't know what you think is going to happen here. You've already abducted and harassed me; I have grounds to press charges. I can take you to court and then my dad can send your sorry ass to jail too."

"Oh no, I'm so scared," Thomas mocked, waving his open palms with a mean grin. "You think you can just hide behind daddy and you're untouchable? Fucking useless. You can't do _shit_ on your own."

Though Thomas was merely a bully with a personal vendetta, the venomous words spoken with such conviction tore holes straight through his chest. Thomas couldn't possibly realize the insults hit the very core of his self esteem, but it had its affect, intended or not.

If only he were stronger, if only he were the person his dad wanted him to be, maybe he wouldn't be in this situation right now. As always, the more deeply words bit into him the sharper his tongue became, the only defense he ever had. He clung to it with an internal wash of shame.

"Excuse me, I can't do shit on my own? Pot meet fucking kettle. Like you didn't profit from all the money your dad stole. Is that why you always have the latest iPhone, expensive clothes, that fancy Camaro you drive around?"

Thomas's face went red with rage. "Shut your fucking mouth. I didn't know, okay? I didn't fucking know."

"How did you not know?!" he asked incredulously.

"He always told us it was family money." A tiny crack of insecurity in Thomas's armor.

" _Family money_. Like that isn't the most bullshit line I've ever heard. How did you not see right through that?"

"Uh, isn't your family is the same way?" Thomas challenged. "Do _you_ have access to your dad's bank accounts? Do you monitor every fucking penny? Your dad can't possibly pull in the amount of money your family has."

"We have a trust that's been passed down from generation to generation. I know it's legit because I actually took the time to research my family history, unlike you, who just accepted all the shiny gifts your dad gave you without question. He just buys your love, huh?"

"Shut up- I don't answer to you. We don't all have some rich asshole judge to solve our problems for us."

"Look, once again, this has zero to do with my dad and everything to do with your happy little family of delinquents. I don't think you're understanding how this process works, so I'll slow it down for you: you're an asshole, you get arrested, you and your dad have a nice father/son reunion in prison for breaking the law. It's like I'm talking to a rock."

Thomas growled and a steel-toed kick connected with his unprotected belly. It knocked all the wind from him and he gasped in pain.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty like you think you're better than me. You're a fucking joke." Thomas leaned down and gripped the front of his hoodie so he could sneer in his face. "Must be so great to sit on the other side and revel in other people's misfortune."

"Is that what you think I'm doing?!" he wheezed, coughing from the impact to his middle. "Do you actually think I'm reveling in your stupid family drama? Because I'm not, in case you've lost all sight of reality, you're the one who kidnapped me and dragged me out here like I'm being led to a firing squad. There's very _very_ little reveling involved on my part."

" _Liar_. I heard you talking to your little buddy in the parking lot. I was walking out after practice and sound carries a lot farther than you'd think. Bull fucking _shit_ you aren't enjoying every second of this."

Guilt ripped through him with the knowledge his private conversation had been overheard, followed by regret. Almost certainly Thomas's behavior had escalated to this because of it. Salvaging his image in Thomas's eyes would be impossible at this point and he wasn't going to try.

"Okay, but let's be real here. You've been a huge dick to me since the start of sophomore year. I was invisible to you before that and then suddenly you're all up in my face? Am I just supposed to take all that antagonizing and be okay with it? Yeah, okay so I admit it, I may have gloated to Fish when it first happened; I'm not fucking perfect. But all this feels like a 'you _'_ thing, what the hell is your problem with me? All I've ever done is my absolute best to avoid you. What have I _ever_ done to you?!"

"Don't fucking act like you don't know."

"Okay but I _don't_ know. I get you're angry about your dad, but like I said, I had no control over any of that. Getting 'revenge' on me for your dad is the least productive thing you could do," he said, exasperated.

"Heather."

A beat, and then he rolled his eyes. "Oh for the love of..."

"You're walkin' around acting like stealing my girlfriend somehow makes you less of a loser," Thomas said, shaking his head.

"You're still on this? We've been dating for a year; she's not your girlfriend anymore. _She_ _broke up with you_. Get over it."

"Get over it? You seriously just told me to get over it?" Thomas laughed scornfully and turned to Ryan and Victor. "He doesn't know, does he?" He squatted down with a mocking grin, resting his forearms on his thighs and spoke with a patronizing tone. "Let me let you in on a little secret. Heather doesn't date dickweeds like you. She's using you to get back at me."

He looked Thomas defiantly in the eyes. "I seriously doubt that after Homecoming."

He knew better. He knew there was a breaking point- running his mouth would get him into trouble, and antagonizing a snake would only cause it to strike.

The growl Thomas let lose was almost feral and fists were flying toward his face before he could throw his bound hands up to block.

Bursts of pain rocketed through his skull as he tried to protect himself, but Thomas was sitting on him, working out all his fury. His arms were ineffective shields and though his body instinctively curled up, blows landed anywhere they could find purchase on his slender frame. His head sufficiently rattled, Thomas hit him, paused, and struck him one last time before pushing off his hunched shoulder and looming over him.

"You think you've got it made, fucking my girlfriend, don't you? Except, _uh oh_ , here's what you don't know. Heather and I had a fight that night about you. I asked her why she was wasting her time and she said she felt bad for you cause of your accident. She slept with you after the dance just to prove a point to me. She _never_ would've let you otherwise."

"No," he said, disbelieving. "That's... that's not..."

"Oh, it is. Let me ask you a question. How many times after that night have you done it? _Zero_! The answer is zero fucking times, isn't it?"

Any upper hand he may have had on the conversation began sliding rampantly out of control. Thomas leaned in close for maximum effect.

"Do you not get it? You were a _pity fuck_."

The words settled into him, digging their claws into his very bones. Thomas effectively severed the one good thing he tethered all his hope to with two knife twisting words.

"She told me she regrets it. It's real pathetic you think Heather would actually want to date you with no ulterior motive, but I guess you just don't know her as well as I do."

The trees began to tilt and the world pitched below him. He pressed his hands over his eyes, attempting to curb some of the dizziness. The punches made his ears ring and his head felt like it was full of congealing soup.

"She... she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't..."

"Uh, she would, and she did."

"You're lying."

"Why would I lie to you, dude? Heather's so far out of your league it's amazing you even had the balls to talk to her. It's honestly an unsolved mystery how she held out for an entire year. She could do so much better than you. Literally anyone would be better than you. I'd rather see her with Miriam the fuckin' lunch lady."

"The lunch lady would be a step up from the dumpster diving she did when she dated you." What was wrong with him, the sarcasm was like a compulsion. He kept digging himself in deeper.

"Jesus, kid, you don't learn! Heather's wasting her time and it fucking baffles me. I don't get it at all."

"Maybe because you act like you're entitled to her. She doesn't belong to you; she's her own person and she chose me. You don't deserve her."

"What? And you think you _do_?!" Thomas scoffed. What he lacked in intelligence, he exceeded in sensing others' weaknesses and using it against them." _You_ don't deserve her. How long do you think she'll play your little nursemaid before she gets bored? Hot girls like her only date dweebs like you for the nerd experience and then they drop you faster than you can say 'I'm a loser.' You're a nobody. Gimpy ass _freak_."

Words might as well have been a dagger plunged straight through his chest; it would've hurt less. His brain to mouth filter must have knocked loose in the scuffle, because he couldn't think coherently nor stop the instant comeback from leaving his tongue.

"At least I'm not trash, just like your criminal for a father."

His reaction time delayed, it took him several moments to register what was happening. Thomas was on him, throwing his fists around and landing painful body shots to his ribs. This time he wouldn't resign himself to just take a beating, so he did his best to block with his taped up hands and bucked his attacker off. He lashed out and kicked with his feet. His phone fell out of his pocket when he managed to clip Thomas in the mouth with his metal foot, busting the lip open.

Thomas roared at him, grabbed the end of his prosthetic in a rage and ripped the whole thing off, flinging it behind them. Fists rained down harder, landing a vicious strike right in the nose. The cartilage burst with a sickening pop and the snap radiated into his ears.

He swore a string of curses in agony, writhing from side to side as his nose instantly swelled and a sticky sensation built up in the nasal cavity. It delayed for a moment, then blood began pouring down his face in a steady stream, coating his lips and tasting of bitter copper.

Broken. It had to be broken.

Dimly he was aware of exclamations, the useless bystanders Ryan and Victor holding Thomas back and hauling him away.

"Fuck you. _Fuck_ _y_ ou!" Thomas shouted at him in a frenzy. He shook the two off his arms, wiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand and stalked around for a moment, restless and dangerous. He spied the phone on the ground and snatched it up, ignoring protests to return it. He spun on his heel without another word and began walking away.

Victor and Ryan glanced at each other, completely bewildered and unsure what to do.

"We're getting the fuck out of here."

"What, Thomas-" Ryan started.

Dazed as he was with the throbbing nose and attempting to staunch the blood flow with his sleeve, he still had the presence of mind to immediately panic at the sight of Thomas leaving. "Wait! Don't- you can't- Don't leave me here!"

Thomas passed the discarded prosthetic and reached down to grab it without even a glance behind him.

"Hey! Hey I need that- Thomas! Please, don't leave me here, wait, just please wait!" His stomach dropped, sick with shame as he attempted to get up and hobble as fast as he could on his good foot, but he fell hard to his knees. He resorted to an awkward crawl and continued to holler after them.

Ryan and Victor were following Thomas, albeit reluctantly. The three reached the top of the cove and Ryan spoke up. "You're really not taking him back to the truck?"

"I don't want his fuckin' blood all over my leather. He can find his own ride home."

"Are you sure?" Victor said. "You kinda messed him up; you said we were just gonna scare him a little-"

"Yeah, well, this'll scare him a little."

"Guys! Please come back, please! Don't-"

"Are you sure this isn't going too far?" Ryan's face betrayed his discomfort with the situation.

"Really? You're gonna bitch out on me now? I will leave you out here with him. Don't fucking test me."

"You heard him though, he's gonna tell his dad-"

"Yeah, probably, 'cause he's a _snitch_."

"I won't, I promise I won't breathe a word of this if you just take me back to the truck and take me home, _please_ -"

"Right, like I'm going to believe that," Thomas sneered. "You'll fucking run right to daddy. I think you just need to spend some time reconnecting with nature and reflecting on how fists are mightier than a sarcastic little shit. Think of it as doing you a favor."

"I don't need any favors. I think you've done me plenty of favors. Take me home, please just _take me home_."

"Yeah, no. This happy little _delinquent_ is out." Thomas flipped him off and outright ignored his pleas as he walked out of sight. Ryan and Victor looked conflicted, but ultimately followed their leader.

"Thomas! _Thomas_!" His voice cracked. When no one appeared after a moment, fury boiled over inside him and he lashed out at the ground with his taped hands. "You know what? Fine! Fuck you! Fuck you, Thomas! Fuck all of you!"

He rolled onto his back, heaved in a few ragged breaths and stared up at the sky.

" _Fuck_."

He slowly sat up, muscles protesting from Thomas's angry fists. A wave of utter despair overcame him as the full reality of the situation sunk in. His stomach twisted with the sense of being less than whole as he looked down at mismatched legs he still hadn't come to terms with.

_I can't walk. I can't walk I can't walk I can't walk_

He gingerly worked at the tape binding his wrists, giving up after a mere moment because his fingers were too stiff and numb. He thought of bright green eyes and soft black fur, his precious kitten, and tears pricked at the corner of his eyes.

"Toothless," he sniffed. "I miss you so much, bud. Oh God..."

His body ached. His nose ran with pink tinged mucus and it was getting colder as the sun started to sink in the sky, casting long shadows over the cove walls. It would be dark soon.

He worked at the tape with renewed vigor. The sky lit up in a brilliant orange and fuchsia sunset when he managed to unwrap his wrists. He shook out his tingling fingers, flexing his fists and working circulation back into his hands. Some part of him remained foolishly hopeful Thomas and his friends would come back for him, but as dusk rapidly set in it was obvious they weren't going to show.

When he examined the cove it became clear he wouldn't be able to scale the rocky walls before the sun set. He would spend the night outside- alone, with no shelter and no source of light or heat.

He spotted a rock formation that would offer some protection, at the very least a solid surface to lean against. It was halfway around the pond, a short walk that would take an able bodied person less than a minute to complete, a total non-issue.

Staring at those boulders and how teasingly far away they were for a person with a partial leg triggered a complete breakdown, the trip seemingly insurmountable with his inability to walk. He was forced to confront all his anxiety about living life as an amputee. Every single fear lurking in the depth of his mind spilled out in horrifying reality.

_You'll have a prosthetic, enabling you to do many of the things you did before the accident. You'll be able to walk just fine, in fact most amputees can participate in many of the sports and activities they enjoyed previously._

_I don't think that'll be a problem, Doc- my athletic ability doesn't extend beyond finding my way out of a wet paper bag._

Sarcasm was his buffer against the world, the comforting wall he hid behind so he didn't have to face the awful truth of how incredibly broken he felt. Granted, he hadn't been doing a great job hiding anything after the accident, depression hanging about him like a hazy fog. For one night he found solace in Heather, but Thomas ripped that away from him too.

The emotional weight threatened to crush him.

He thought of Toothless again with a profound ache in his chest, and all at once the desire to hug his precious kitten renewed his motivation. Rationality took hold and he glanced around, looking for a downed branch that could function as a makeshift crutch. He spotted one several paces out of his reach, so he crawled on his hands and knees and swallowed the humiliation. The branch was too short and not sturdy enough to bear his weight. He cursed, throwing it in a fit of frustration.

His emotions were all over the place, like a violent seesaw between helplessness and the will to make it through this somehow, to get out of this cove and find some form of civilization.

Back to crawling it was, slinking around the edge of the water, sharp little pebbles sticking to his knees and sand covering his palms. It became hard to see, not quite the darkness of night but the sun had dipped well below the horizon, casting an unsettling gray twilight over the cove. He reached the rocks and situated himself against the cold rough surface to wait out the night, left alone with his thoughts and the wind breezing briskly through the tree canopy.

The forest was incredibly noisy and every tiny sound was scrutinized for threat. Each sharp crack of a branch falling and the rustling of leaves set him on edge. Fully night now, he could barely see the other side of the cove. The sliver of moon in the sky offered little light, only just bright enough to reflect a bit on the pond water. The trees lining the rocky edge above were an imposing wall of darkness, obscuring everything and encouraging an overactive imagination.

He shivered, gripping his hoodie tighter. It was difficult not to think about every horror movie he had ever seen featuring the deep woods. It wasn't enough to worry about large nocturnal animals out hunting, he had to think about the Blair Witch. Snot made him watch that stupid movie, even though it was from '99. He thought it was dumb at the time. It wasn't so dumb anymore as his breaths puffed into the cold and the trees groaned in the wind.

A loud snap reverberated from directly to his right.

"Fuck!" he hissed, clamping his hand over his mouth. He panted harshly through his fingers, the swollen nose blocking his nasal airway.

_Well, at least if she takes me to her stupid creepy ransacked house with the stupid creepy handprints I'll be in shelter. Can't be any worse than this._

More realistically he hadn't heard any animals walking near his area. There was no way he could run and no way he was physically fit enough to fend off a predator. He was terrified an aggressive bear or wolf would decide he was easy prey.

And he was easy prey, even on a normal day, much less down a leg and weak from fighting. He huddled closer against the boulder. While it had been a fairly warm autumn day, the night chilled considerably and his hoodie was not enough to ward off the temperature. He wracked his brain, trying to remember if it was supposed to rain during the night. The weather report he heard on the radio just that morning seemed like it was weeks ago. For the moment the open sky above the cove was clear, but storms had a habit of rolling in and out quickly in Berk.

The cold was getting to him. His fingers were frozen even though he slid them into his sleeves, bunching the stiff blood stained fabric closed in his fists. The tip of his puffy nose colored a cherry red. His hood helped shield his ears, but not near enough. Flexing his toes in his beat up old Converse didn't do much to warm them.

The worst was his partial leg. Though he had a sock on and his jeans covered it, the stress and cold triggered phantom pains and no amount of massaging or repositioning helped. He curled up pathetically, unable to stop the shuddering of his whole body.

The lids of his eyes began to droop, no matter how hard he tried to blink them awake, to stay alert and watchful. Hyperventilation and the constant heightened state of fear was tugging his consciousness under. On the verge of passing out, his head felt as though it were full of helium, even as his nose throbbed.

High pitched unearthly shrieking filled the air and he couldn't help the startle reflex or the shout of alarm that escaped him. Howls and answering yips, creepy and spine tingling, too close for comfort.

Coyotes.

Now fully awake, panic that had been simmering around his senses roared to life, every single nerve in his body firing. He could only pray they wouldn't discover him as he listened to the eerie calls of the coyotes as they prowled through the woods. Tears stung his eyes and his heart pounded against his ribs with a rhythm so forceful he could barely breathe. He had never been so frightened in his life.

After what felt like ages the cries ceased, the animals moved on and he allowed his hyper vigilance to lapse. Time became irrelevant, it had been hours and it would be hours more. Until what? Until the sun rose? And what then.

He supposed he could attempt climbing the path he took to get in the cove. It would be slow going, having to crawl to get where he needed to go and only one foot to find purchase against the stones, but it was his only option. Either climb once daylight hit, or resign himself to the cove being the last thing he would ever see.

His thoughts drifted to the morbid, because it was time to make his peace, if this was truly to be the end of him- exposure would get him long before he'd ever find his way out of the woods on his own. He doubted Thomas would rescue him.

He'd been thinking about a career in the arts lately. He wanted to get married, have kids, grow old. Have a future.

Instead he would never again fall asleep to the sound of Toothless purring, curled up peacefully on his chest. Have a chance to reconcile with his father, hug his mother, see Heather.

Anger surged through him white hot, to think of all that would be robbed from him. Immediately grief and self loathing replaced it.

_What future. Thomas was right- I am a loser. Heather is only using me to get back at him. I don't have a fucking foot, like she would want to deal with that for the rest of her life. I was gonna die alone and outcasted anyway, this is just speeding up the process and saving me a lifetime of pain. Maybe I should actually thank him for putting me out of my misery._

As night fell into the darkest hours and the temperature with it he started violently shivering, teeth clacking together, unable to control it. He tried to stop shuddering but it was no use; he was losing body heat too quickly.

The tips of his fingers felt hot as coals to him, a strange paradox of sensation when in actuality frostbite was probably not far off. Blood rerouted itself to his core as internal organs were more important than ten fingers and five toes that no longer existed, but he could feel them burning along with his real ones just the same.

Eventually the bone rattling shakes tapered off and he sighed in sheer relief, his muscles already aching and fatigued and the trembles didn't help anything.

His eyes closed and consciousness vaguely slipped in and out as he started to shut down. His thoughts slowed to a crawl, the odd wild tremor became sluggish, like everything was in slow motion. He slid down and hunched in on himself, his butt numb and his limbs stiff from the freezing ground and sitting in the same tensed position for such an extended amount of time.

So so cold. It seeped into his bones and settled in his skin with a finality that made it easy to surrender, pulled into the undertow.

He lost time. Vague patches of memory, gradual lifting of the oppressing darkness, the blurry sight of water rippling with the first rays of light streaming across the pond.

After what felt like the longest night of his life he finally passed out, eyes heavy with exhaustion.

He woke up once and noticed it was light enough to see. The temperature warmed up some, but it didn't matter much. He quickly succumbed to the pull of sleep again.

The next time awareness returned it was impossible to discern what time it was. Dark gray clouds hung over Berk, bloated and ominous, threatening to unleash a torrent of rain. The beginnings of thunder rumbled.

No shelter, nowhere he could go to cover himself from the impending downpour. It didn't matter anyway, he was barely awake as it was. He heard voices, something like distant shouting and even the sharp bark of a dog, but with the rolling clouds and brisk winds whipping the tree canopy it filtered in and out of his hearing.

The first few droplets of rain splattered on the rocks and ticked against the blanket of leaves above. His eyes closed, resigned to his miserable state.

_Hiccup!_

His name floated on the breeze, but with all the noise of nature it was easy to be deluded. The leaves shifted and though it sounded like footsteps, surely it was some passing animal.

The rain started drizzling harder, his hoodie quickly becoming damp. There was that dog again, howling over and over. It almost sounded real, like it was right above him. He didn't even bother opening his eyes.

His aching nose flared up. Some wildly absurd part of his vanity thought it would be a shame if his nose was jacked up after the break and Heather would probably make a fuss over it.

Then he reminded himself no one was ever going to see him or his nose ever again, much less Heather.

_Hiccup? Hiccup!_

He furrowed his brow. He was truly delirious- he couldn't seem to process a clear thought.

_Hiccup! Oh my God, Hiccup! Here! Over here!_

More shouting, voices calling and answering, more shuffling through the undergrowth.

He jolted when hands landed on his cheeks, so warm they seared his windburned skin.

"Hiccup, oh Hiccup-"

A warm body enveloped him, kissing his face, his hair, rocking him.

"Are you okay? Hiccup, can you answer me? Say something, love-"

"Val, is he alright?"

"He's here, Stoick, but he's not well. He's not conscious and he's near as frozen. We need the medic."

Something in his brain clicked and he cracked open his eyes, a blurry familiar face knelt in front of him and more people in bright yellow vests scaled the rocky sides of the cove, slick with rain.

"...Mom?" His voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.

Tears poured down her face again as she embraced him tightly. "We found you, thank God we found you. We were so worried; we thought we'd never see you again."

He was so confused, everything felt entirely surreal. How was she here? Who were all these people?

"Ma'am, if you could move aside for just a moment, please. We need to get him out of the rain."

Valka shifted so she was out of the way of the paramedic, who quickly checked him over.

"You look like you've been injured. Can you tell me what happened?"

He gazed up blearily, unable to comprehend what was being asked of him. So tired. He just wanted to sleep. Consciousness took too much effort.

"What's happened to his face?" His father sounded close now.

"Looks like his nose is broken."

"Broken?" Valka gasped.

"He'll have to fill us in, once he's a little more lucid. We need to get him out of this weather immediately. The stretcher's on the gravel path, they can't get it out this far-"

"I can carry him," his father interrupted.

So many people, so many voices. Hands prodded at him, moved his rigid body, hefted him into strong arms and a big jacket still warm with body heat wrapped around his cold bony frame. Familiar wiry hair he remembered tickling his face in his youth.

"Hiccup, lad? Can yeh talk tae me?"

He couldn't. The most he could manage was curling his face into the warmth, even if it was a little damp and the rest of him still numb with cold. Sleep, all he wanted was sleep.

Everyone worked together to raise him out of the cove. There was a moment when he recalled being laid out on a flat surface with heavy blankets and plastic shielding him to keep off the rain. This ride was much bumpier, wheels not meant for the natural terrain. All the jostling didn't help the pain in his nose.

Finally the motion ceased and the last thing he remembered was his mother's hand on his cheek, his father hovering over him as the stretcher lifted into the back of an ambulance.

ooo

Consciousness came to him in patches. First, as his fingers and toes regained warmth with ferocity, like actual fire licking at his extremities. His shortened leg throbbed with a searing ache. He thrashed about and multiple hands held him down. His entire face hurt as they placed a bandage over the bridge of his nose.

He was settled into a hospital bed with an IV drip and pain meds. Warm blankets covered him from chin to toes and he floated off into a fuzzy dreamless sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so... there's a lot to unpack here... um...
> 
> Special thanks to Kryalla Orchid and Lessnoiseandmoregreen for helping me beta this chapter (well, to be fair they help me beta every chapter, but especially this one) because I had a lot to wade through and I needed fresh eyes and opinions.
> 
> I'm assuming the cove was a pretty easy spot, but how many of you remembered the branch he was drawing the picture of Toothless with... I told Lessnoise about that one and she glared at me and called me an ass, ha.
> 
> I wasn't lying about being terrible... I know I broke him, but! that just means I get to put him back together again ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Soft steady tapping of fingers clicking on a keyboard intermingled with the murmur of an As Seen on TV ad on low and the quiet whir of an IV machine. Sunday morning light streamed through half drawn blinds, illuminating the floor but not quite reaching the bed.

Valka sat in a recliner, laptop perched on her thighs as she watched over her soundly sleeping patient. She slept on the chair all night, reclined back with a spare hospital blanket and pillow, grateful they hadn't made her go home. The hospital staff would've had to physically remove her from the room if policy didn't allow for it anyway.

Her husband was due to arrive soon, hopefully with breakfast and more news from the police.

The blankets shifted as the bed's occupant stirred. Bleary eyes cracked open with disorientation, then darted to the sheets with barely contained alarm. She glanced up just as the panic subsided into numb acceptance.

A smile graced her face excitedly. "Oh, you're awake!" She put the laptop aside and rose to stand at Hiccup's bedside, patting his shoulder lovingly.

He groaned and rubbed a hand over his eyes, which made him cringe in pain when he accidentally bumped the bandage over his swollen nose.

"Your nose is broken," she said apprehensively. "The doctor said it wouldn't have been an accident."

She was leading him, giving him an opening to offer more information, but he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the pillow.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, fussing with his blankets and fluffing the pillow. He didn't answer and she didn't pry, instead offering him water and he drank it all. She threaded her fingers through his hair and placed a kiss on the side of his head.

"Well, if you're not ready to talk, that's okay. Get some rest, dear. Heaven knows you need it. I'll be right here, okay? Uncle Gobber said he'd look after the reserve for me while I take care of you. I don't think they'll keep you here long, they just want to make sure you're sufficiently warmed up before they discharge you. You had hypothermia, it was much too cold to be out there with no protective gear on. You could've gotten frostbite. They said the rain would've done it and you're fortunate we found you when we did. The nose looks worse than it truly is, they said, although I know it hurts. You have two black eyes from the bruising, but you're lucky it wasn't crooked and they didn't have to set it. Should heal nicely."

She was babbling and she knew it. Her son had picked up the same nervous habit from her, but his current silence set her on edge, especially when she desperately wanted to ask him how he ended up in the woods with the trademark injuries of a fist fight.

It seemed like they had just gotten out of the hospital. It broke her heart to see her precious child back in a bed with the same blank expression on his face.

She finished rearranging the blankets when Stoick opened the hospital room door with coffee, breakfast sandwiches, and a bag of Hiccup's clothes.

"He awake yet?" Stoick handed Valka her food and set his on a little end table next to the recliner.

"Yes, just woke up," she said, giving Hiccup's listless arm a squeeze. His half open eyes were staring at the tv, unseeing.

"Ah, good, perfect timin'." Stoick turned his attention to his son. "There are officers here outside the door. I want yeh to talk to them, Hiccup. Can you do that?"

He made no indication he heard his father.

"Maybe this isn't the best time, Stoick," Valka fretted. "He's been through an awful lot, give him time to recuperate. We only just got him back; he needs rest."

"He can rest all he wants, he just needs tae a' least let them know who did this. They can't start an investigation or pull in suspects if they don't know who they're lookin' at."

"I know, I know but look at him. He's in no shape to be grilled by the police."

"Time is of the essence, they can't do their job if he doesn't cooperate!"

"How is he supposed to cooperate when he's tired and bruised? Give the boy some space, for goodness sakes," Valka scolded. "Can't they come back tomorrow?"

"Every second is imperative to seek retribution for this. It's one statement, I'm no' asking him to be interrogated."

"Think of your son first and justice second, please," Valka said, steely with determination. "He can give his statement tomorrow."

Stoick met Valka's eyes and backed down with a sigh. "Fine. I'll tell them to come back tomorrow."

"Thank you," she said, squeezing her son's hand as Stoick went out into the hall to talk with the officers. He came back after a few moments as Valka drank her coffee.

"Yeh hungry, Hiccup?" Stoick asked. "Could order yeh some breakfast."

He shook his head, so minutely they almost missed it.

Stoick and Valka shared a look fraught with sorrow. Even if they disagreed on the best method, their son's care came first in everything.

A bright eyed nurse knocked on the door and came in, pulling a chart from the wall and taking a scan of it. "Just here to check some vitals," she said. "Oh, he's awake? That's great!"

She came to the bed, took Hiccup's temperature and placed two fingers on his wrist to count heartbeats. "Ninety eight point six, perfect! Your resting pulse looks good too." She grabbed a cuff and wrapped it around his upper arm. "Just need to get a blood pressure and then we're done."

Valka wrung her hands. His body was better but he was far from well.

The nurse checked his IV bag, which was mostly empty. "I think we're all set on this too. We can unhook you now." She disconnected the tubing from the saline lock and scooted the pole out of the way. After the needle was removed she taped gauze onto his arm. "There you go, that'll be more comfortable. Do you need to use the bathroom?" She waited for an answer.

He took a moment, then nodded yes. She helped him up and supported him the short hop into the bathroom.

"Once you're done, just let me know and I'll get you back into bed. If you need any assistance or if you fall you can pull that cord." She shut the door and wrote some things on his chart. "Has he said anything yet?"

Valka and Stoick shook their heads solemnly.

"Poor guy. Still in a bit of shock then, huh."

"A bit, yes," Valka murmured.

"I'll tell the doctor he's awake and looking good. I'm sure they won't have to keep him much longer then, you can take him home and get him settled, okay?" she said, giving them a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you," Valka said, nodding. If only they could heal her son's heart, too.

ooo

After the doctor had been and gone and given the discharge orders, Valka was helping Hiccup change into his clothes when another knock sounded. They weren't expecting any medical personnel, so Stoick pulled the privacy curtain over the door and went to answer it.

A woman with a messenger bag and a pad of paper was standing there.

"Judge Haddock?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Aye."

"I'm Elena Barrows, with the Berk Gazette." She briskly held out her hand for him to shake.

He shook it with hesitance. "And what business do yeh have here, Ms. Barrows?"

"I heard from a source that your son was involved in an incident Friday night?"

Immediately Stoick's face hardened. "Ah, well. I see yer wantin' a story. I ask that you consider my son's privacy, and I have no comment."

Most people were intimidated by Stoick's size in general and he didn't need to add in the tone, but Elena was persistent.

"If I could just speak to your son, I won't take much of his time-"

"My son is a minor and yeh need my permission, which is no' granted. Even if I were to allow it, this is poor timin' and it's inconsiderate to badger him while he's in hospital. Yeh'll have to come up with somethin' else to fill that article space." Stoick started to close the door.

"But, Judge Haddock! Please, wait-"

"Have a nice day, lass," he said, shutting the door with a decisive click.

"Who was that?" Valka asked, kneeling down and maneuvering a sock onto a lonely foot.

"Reporter," Stoick said with disgust. "Not sure how word got out so quickly, but it won't be long before they're buzzing round looking for a hint of sensation."

"Oh dear," Valka sighed. "Well, I'll be sure not to give them an inch." She picked up the prosthetic, which had been found and cleaned. "Let's put this on then, love."

Her eyebrows rose when Hiccup yanked his legs up from the side of the bed, turned his back to them and curled in on himself.

"Do... you not want to wear it then?" she asked, unsure. "You don't have to, but I don't think your father brought the crutches." She gave Stoick a bewildered look and he shook his head.

"All right then, we'll save this for later. I believe they discharge patients with a wheelchair anyway," she said soothingly.

Valka was correct, about an hour later everything was finalized and a hospital worker brought in a wheelchair to escort them down.

It seemed Hiccup had reached his limit of tolerating the fussing over him and he stubbornly didn't allow anyone to help him into the chair. He tugged his hood up, pulled his hands into his hoodie sleeves and crossed his arms tightly over his torso, slinking down and looking miserable.

Getting into the car was a similar ordeal. He refused assistance and leaned up against the window with hood drawn. Valka and Stoick wisely let him be.

When Stoick turned onto their street, several cars were parked alongside the road. Normally not an uncommon sight in the neighborhood, this time all the vehicles were occupied.

"More intrepid journalists, here for the scoop," Stoick growled.

"Oh no," Valka said, shaking her head as all the people in the cars perked up when they pulled into the driveway.

"Get him into the house as quickly as yeh can," Stoick said, opening the garage door for their car. "I'll take care o' the vultures." People were already jumping out of their vehicles and hurrying up the driveway before Stoick could lower the door.

A man reached them first, Elena Barrows right behind him.

Valka beckoned to Hiccup, gesturing for him to hurry while eyeing up the reporters who desperately wanted a piece of him but were wary of the hulking man barring their way. Unfortunately Hiccup didn't move and continued to huddle up against the window.

"Come on now, let's just get you into your room and you can rest," Valka urged. When he didn't respond, she realized he wasn't wearing his prosthetic and the crutches were in the house. She shut the door and raced in to find them, scooting around Cloudjumper and Sharpshot in the breezeway, who were barking in excitement.

"Judge Haddock, please, just _one_ moment-"

"Ms. Barrows, I already declined to speak with you today and the rest o' yeh aren't any better, lyin' in wait at my private residence to prey upon an injured young man."

Elena pounced. "So he _is_ injured, then?"

"Out, the lot of yeh!" Stoick roared. "Off my property before I call the police!"

He looked on with empty satisfaction as people scattered and the threat fulfilled its intended affect. Valka came back out with the crutches and the two dogs as Stoick closed the garage door.

"Are they gone?"

"They're gone, for now. But they're thirsty for this one, I don't think we'll get away without makin' some sort o' statement to the media," he said grimly. "It's a right mess."

Valka offered the crutches to Hiccup, who didn't move no matter how much she coaxed. Only when Toothless raced into the garage, desperate to reunite with his favorite person, did they manage to get Hiccup out of the car.

A right mess, indeed.

ooo

"So, how's the lad doin', ay?"

Valka sighed worriedly, typing on her laptop. "Not well, Gobber."

"Such a shame, and nothin' the poor boy needed at a time like this."

Valka stopped typing, overcome with emotion. She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. "He was just turning a corner! Was getting used to the prosthetic and doing well in rehab. Now he refuses to even look at it. I don't know what to do."

"Speakin' as someone who knows what it's like to lose a limb, there's no' much yeh can do. Just give him time, and maybe think about gettin' the lad some therapy." Gobber rested his hand on Valka's shoulder sympathetically.

"If we could even get him into an office. He refuses to leave the bed except for the bathroom. He won't speak and he barely eats anything. He only responds to Toothless. This is much worse than his accident."

"Aye, that it is. He was down, as to be expected, but no' like this. Has that girl of his been here?"

"She visited him in the hospital while he was still sleeping, and then she came last night as soon as she could." Valka frowned. "Something's up there, too. Normally I think Heather would've been the only one to get him to talk, but he was just as standoffish with her as everyone else. I don't know what happened out in those woods, but _something_ happened and he's... _crushed_."

"Had his nose messed up, I heard?"

"Yes. Looked like he got into a fist fight. Every time Stoick tries to get it out of him he shuts up tighter than a clam. He won't tell me, either. The officers are coming back around today and Stoick expects him to talk, but I don't think they'll get anything out of him if we can't."

"Yeh want me to try?"

"Maybe you could. He's always been close with you, especially since you've been in his-...shoe." Valka smiled humorlessly.

"Well, I'll see what I can do," Gobber said.

"He's upstairs in his bed, where he's been since we got him home," Valka said, exhausted. "When you come back down I'll let you know what's going on at the Reserve."

"Aye, sounds good."

Gobber made his way up the stairs. He knocked on the half closed bedroom door, and peeked his head in when he didn't get a response. Only a mop of messy russet hair was visible above the blanket with the strains of music played at a high volume through headphones. Toothless's tiny head popped up as Gobber entered.

"Hello, Hiccup," Gobber said as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I came to see how you were doin'."

He waited a moment. When the music turned down he started talking again. "As you can imagine, everyone is worried about you... especially yer mother. Now, I'm no' here to pry anything out o' you. I doubt anything I can say will be a magical cure."

Toothless purred, stood up and stretched lazily. He padded around the bed and butted his head against Gobber's arm. Gobber smiled and patted his wispy black fur.

"Somethin' happened out in those woods. You've got the physical injures to prove it, but I wager a pop in the nose is no' why you won't leave yer bed."

Toothless went back to Hiccup and started licking his hair.

"You take the time you need to heal and you do what you need tae do. Always remember you've got family and friends to support you, and people who love you. I know that sounds awfully cliché, but it's the truth and don't forget it. When yer ready tae talk, you find someone you trust to listen. Whether it's yer mother, that girl o' yours, or even professional help. It won't ever do yeh any good to keep it bottled up inside; trust me, I know, and I wish I didn't."

Hiccup shifted ever so slightly, indicating he had heard even if his face was still buried in his pillow.

"Take my words to heart, boy. It hurts us all to see yeh like this, yer mother and father the most. They love you and want the best for you, even if you can't see it. That's no' meant to make yeh feel guilty- but mostly so you remember yer not alone."

He sighed, patted Toothless one last time and got up from the bed.

"All the best, lad and speedy recovery. Yeh know I'm always here if you need me."

Gobber shut the door quietly.

ooo

"What do yeh mean he refused to talk to the police?" Stoick set down his briefcase and loosened his tie.

Valka placed Stoick's reheated dinner on the counter. "He wouldn't say a word. Just kept his head down, no matter how much they prodded. Gobber couldn't get a word out of him either."

"I don't understand him. Why won't he just explain what happened? It's obvious somethin' happened at school, so how did he end up in the woods? Who was he fightin'?" Stoick paced the length of the kitchen, agitated.

"I don't know, dear. I wish we knew." Valka wearily shrugged, seating herself at the kitchen island and stirring a steaming mug of tea.

"The police won't drop the case even if he refuses tae implicate who did this. They're going to look at the school's security footage next. It's possible they got the attack on tape."

Valka perked up. "Oh, I didn't even think of that."

"If we can figure out who did this, then we've really got an investigation," Stoick said, his eyes flashing. "I won't rest until the one responsible is punished. Yeh don't treat _my_ son that way."

Valka smiled sentimentally at him. "I know you'll do everything in your power."

Stoick looked down at his dinner, like he was deciding if he was hungry or not. He picked up the fork mechanically and started eating while talking.

"He never mentioned any trouble at school to you, did he?"

Valka shook her head. "Not a word. If he was having an issue with a classmate, he kept silent about it."

Stoick gripped his fork tighter. "And see, that's the thing. This wasn't done by a career criminal. They left all the evidence out all over the place, as sloppy as can be. What's the motive?"

"You think it's a skirmish with a classmate then?"

"It has tae be, but I don't know why he wouldn't speak up if he were bein' bullied."

"Maybe he was embarrassed? Hiccup keeps a lot of things to himself. As his mother, it worries me."

"Worries me too, love. Worries me too."

"Well," Valka said, placing her palms on the counter and standing, "hopefully that security footage will give us some answers."

ooo

Valka closed the door to Hiccup's room after delivering him lunch when the phone rang. Stoick's work number displayed on the caller ID.

"So, you'll never guess what they found on that footage."

"Oh? Did you see what happened?"

"Aye, I did. And it right made my blood boil," Stoick growled.

Valka held the phone tighter. "Oh, no. What happened?"

"He was walkin' out to his car when three large boys jumped him. He didn't stand a chance, though he put up a fight. They hauled him into a truck and sped off."

"Oh, lord," Valka said, holding her hand over her mouth. Her eyes watered.

"And get this- they had the principal watch the footage, hopin' she could identify our kidnappers. Turns out the ring leader is that Fenster boy, the one whose father I put away for embezzling from the school."

"Did the police bring him in for questioning?"

"Aye, they did. Boy had a split lip like he'd been in a fight, isn't that curious?"

"Did they get anything out of him?"

"He denied everything, of course. Broke down once they told him they had video evidence. Said it was a prank that got out o' hand. Blamed Hiccup for instigating it."

"Oh, what- what... _bull_ ," Valka said vehemently.

"Now, I won't deny Hiccup has a mouth on him and it gets him intae trouble more often than not, but _nothin_ ' justifies what those boys did."

"No, absolutely not. Did they get anything else out of him?"

"Quite a lot, actually. Fenster said they just meant tae scare Hiccup and the intention was to bring him home in one piece. Supposedly Hiccup riled him up on purpose and said something about his father, which caused the fist fight and the broken nose. Apparently Hiccup kicked him in the mouth with the prosthetic, which is how Fenster got the busted lip. In the heat of the moment he grabbed the leg and the phone and left them at the top of the cove, right where Sharpshot found them."

"Ugh," Valka said. "I don't understand what would possess those boys to leave someone out in the cold overnight."

"I guess he thought Hiccup could still climb on his hands and knees. Once he found his phone and his leg he could call someone to come pick him up."

"How could Hiccup possibly climb without a foot? Hands and _knees_. What a- a-!"

"-Dumb teenage boy?" Stoick supplied.

"Yes," Valka snarled. "You know, he's lucky there was a signal that far out! It was weak, but we still managed to pick it up. How could he have known Hiccup would even be able to make a call?"

"The boy said the cove is located near the senior Fenster's deer stand and he and his old man used to camp out there all the time. I'm guessing he's used a phone out there before. He thought the woods were safe and all they ever saw were deer and small animals."

"How awful. I can't believe this. So they just left him out there?"

"At the time, yes. It was a warm autumn day and he figured Hiccup would call someone. There was football practice at school on Saturday and Fenster noticed the officers lookin' at Hiccup's car in the parking lot. Got real worried and they went back out tae get him. They saw all the cars from the search party on the road. Since teenage boys aren't known for makin' the best decisions, they decided to leave, figuring we'd find Hiccup and they wouldn't get caught."

"I don't know, Stoick. I know teenage boys have a reputation for doing some _dumb_ things, but this seems terribly callous," Valka said, shaking her head. "You don't believe all this, do you?"

Stoick sighed wearily. "I'm just relaying what was said in the interrogation. You know as a parent I'll always side with our son. I think the Fenster boy's a hothead and a bully who didn't consider the consequences of his actions. That's no' a good a defense in the slightest, mind you, but it explains the motivation. I'm sure he's leavin' things out of the story, but that's why we need Hiccup's account. I don't know what was said between the two, but my son is holed up in bed and for once that sharp tongue of his is silent. There's an obvious victim here and I can see to it that these boys are prosecuted tae the full extent of the law, but Hiccup _must_ testify."

At this Valka worried her bottom lip. "I don't know, Stoick. He's been completely uncooperative on that front. You can't do it without him?"

"I need him tae press charges. I won't get very far with the little evidence we have tae go on without it. Sure, the boy confessed, but we don't know if he's telling the truth. Unless those boys were stupid enough to film it, there's no convenient security footage in the woods. We need Hiccup's testimony."

"And if Hiccup refuses?"

"Fenster will get off with a fine and community service, possibly probation or suspension on the more severe end. It's difficult because we're dealin' with minors. Unless we make a push tae try him as an adult for good reason, his actions will appear impulsive instead of premeditated and he can spout whatever he likes, there's no one to disprove him."

"I'll try talking to Hiccup again," she said, but she already anticipated the wall of silence she'd receive for her efforts.

"Do whatever you can, love. We need his side of the story."

ooo

"I just don't understand him! Why won't he _say_ anything?!"

Valka wrung her hands and tried to interject in Stoick's ranting as they congregated in the kitchen. Stoick loosened his work tie and gesticulated wildly with his hands as he paced. If not for the serious situation Valka would've found humor in the familiar gestures father and son seemed to share.

"It's no' like he needs to go into gritty detail. Fenster said over and over it amounted to nothin' more than a fist fight and a tradin' of insults, which I _know_ Hiccup would win a battle of wits any day. That Fenster boy is makin' light of the whole deal, but I don't know what tae think when Hiccup just won't talk!"

"Now, Stoick, I want to see justice served as much as you do, but you can't _force_ him-"

"It's like he just doesn't care! It can't possibly be as simple as a prank and a few punches. But Fenster will insist it was boys bein' boys and he'll get off with a fine and a school suspension and that'll be that and Hiccup still won't get out o' bed."

"I know you're upset-"

"Upset?! I'm livid!"

"I know my dear but-"

"Yer as bad as Hiccup, enablin' his mopin' and barely concerned that these boys are brought to justice!"

"Now, just a minute! I _am_ concerned about those boys being punished for what they did," Valka said testily. "But I'm also seeing my son hiding away because whatever happened to him was so awful he can't face getting out of bed. I do want justice, but I'd rather see Hiccup recover first."

"Of course I want tae see Hiccup get better, but doesn't he realize punishing those responsible is the right thing tae do? Won't that help him heal?"

Valka sighed and drummed her fingers on the counter. "You would think. But this is Hiccup we're talking about."

The fire died out of Stoick as he leaned against the counter next to Valka. "I know, love. It's just... I can't fix him. He wouldn't let me even if I tried. The one thing in my power, the one thing I could do for him and he refuses that too. I don't understand the boy, but all I want is tae do right by him."

"I know you do." Valka placed her hands on his chest, smiling at him sadly. "That's what makes you a good father, even if you butt heads with Hiccup more often than not, and someday he'll see that. Have you talked to him yet today?"

"I haven't, I was runnin' late this mornin'."

"You should go in and say hello to him then."

"Aye, that I should. See yeh in a bit." He gave Valka an appreciative kiss.

Stoick climbed the stairs, feeling like the past few days had been spent in the middle of a hornet's nest. His son's extreme reaction to the recent events mystified him and made his heart ache. No parent ever wanted to see their child in pain. He was doing his best to fix it the only way he knew how, but every move he made always seemed to be a misstep in Hiccup's eyes.

He knocked on the door. "Hello, lad."

Hiccup was laying in bed, staring at his phone with a blank expression. One hand lazily brushed over Toothless's back. The kitten sprawled out blissfully with his little pink tongue poking out. A loud purr from his tiny body filled the otherwise silent room. At least one member of the household was happy.

"Good to see you awake, and without yer headphones for once," Stoick commented. "I was hopin' to have a word with yeh."

Hiccup shrugged, the action so slight Stoick could've imagined it.

"They got more of the story out o' that Fenster boy. Said he was pullin' a prank on you and that he was going to bring you home, but the two of you got into a fist fight instead. Is that what happened?"

Hiccup's mouth clenched, but his eyes never left the screen. Stoick sighed and continued on.

"I have a feeling he's not saying the whole story, but his word is all I have. I thought yeh should know the police have decided to pursue the matter. If yeh think you can just bury yer head in the sand and make it all go away by not pressin' charges, that's no' possible. Yeh could make everything easier by speakin' up. I don't know why you won't just let me help yeh handle all this. This is my _job._ I have influence, you know?"

Hiccup's shoulders visibly hunched and he blinked, but otherwise offered no other reaction.

"We could take the boy for a ride and throw every punishment in the book at him, if yeh would only appear in court. He'll get off with community service if you don't do anythin' about it. He can say whatever he wants for his defense and they'll have no choice but to believe it if evidence even loosely corroborates his story, because yer not there to refute it. Please Hiccup, let me help you."

He waited for a reaction, but wasn't surprised when he didn't receive one. He threw his hands up in exasperation. "I just don't understand you, son. Yer lettin' yer attacker walk free. Is that what you want?"

Hiccup shrugged again, a step up in his communicative body language.

"Do yeh just not care?"

Stoick narrowed his eyes when he saw a hint of an eye roll.

"Just tell me what yeh want me to do," he said, growing frustrated. "At the very least _talk_ , like the young adult you are."

This earned him a short glare. Stoick was overcome with familiarity; he'd seen that look on his son's face many times before, but this was the first eye contact Hiccup had made with him since the incident.

Hiccup purposely grabbed his old pair of headphones and selected the first song that popped up on his playlist. He rolled over with his back to the door.

Sensing he was getting nowhere fast, Stoick sighed. "Well, this is yer decision. I just thought you should know proceedings will be takin' place with o' without yer cooperation. Have a good night, son."

Stoick shook his head with a disappointed frown, closed the door and left.

 


	15. Chapter 15

"Hiccup, love," Valka said, sitting by his bedside and running her fingers through his bangs. "You've got a rehab appointment today. It really would be good for you to go-"

He turned his music up louder to drown out her voice. Her fingers curled and she inhaled a deep breath. Sometimes she just wanted to shake him and physically will him to get better. It had been days and nothing could convince him to leave his bed. If it didn't involve the call of nature he wasn't interested in moving.

She and Stoick were at a loss. They discussed having a therapist make a house call with him, but figured his stonewalling extended to everyone and not much progress would be made anyway. They just had to wait him out and eventually he'd start talking again. If not, Valka didn't doubt Stoick would drag him out of bed and lovingly force him to become a functioning member of society, although she knew it wouldn't necessarily help Hiccup in the way he needed. So she put Stoick off as best she could and prayed love and tenderness would be the answer.

She loved her son with every fiber of her being and seeing him in this state so soon after the accident was painful. When he was a little boy she could heal any injury with a hug and kiss simply because she was his mother. Now he was a couple years shy of an adult and these were the type of wounds that couldn't be healed with motherly love.

It wouldn't stop her from doting on him. She did her best to prove she was there no matter what, because at the end of the day he would always be her boy and she would never stop caring for him. He could shut her out all he wanted, but she still kissed his head and his cheek, rubbed his back, and brought him food he barely ate. She told him she loved him every time she came in.

It seemed her perseverance paid off. Halfway through the week she cooked his favorite breakfast and set it on his nightstand table. His body must have finally protested the starvation, because as soon as he smelled the food his eyes left his phone and he sat up. He even made brief eye contact with her.

"I've got to run to the reserve to help Gobber with a couple of orphaned raccoons that were brought in. Thought you could eat something good while I'm out."

He picked up the fork and cleared his throat. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said lightly, not drawing attention to the fact he had spoken. "Unless we get any other emergency cases I should be back around three today. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay." He took a bite of bacon, tearing off a piece and feeding it to Toothless, who gummed it up happily.

"Love you," she said on her way out. He nodded and picked up his phone.

ooo

"Hey, Hiccup. How are you feeling today?"

"Same as every other day of my life."

"So, miserable?" Heather said with a little smile. "Well I'm here now."

" _Great_ ," he muttered.

She narrowed her eyes at the sarcasm, but let it slide. "Your face is looking better, like it's healing." She waited expectantly for him to answer.

He shrugged with a little nod, focused on petting Toothless, who ate up his owner's attention with loud purrs.

Heather wished he would pay more attention to her instead of a cat. She noticed a steady decline in his general mood the past few months, and then his accident happened. His leg set him back so much; he withdrew into himself and there wasn't much she could do. She was just starting to see glimmers of his old self shining through when her ex-boyfriend went and crossed the line, and Hiccup paid the price.

She tried to get him to talk about what happened in the woods but he refused, shutting her out like everyone else. She was his girlfriend, shouldn't he trust her the most? Shouldn't she be the one person he could open up to? Even though he recently endured hardships most teenagers never had to face, she was miffed he placed her among all the other people he censored himself with.

If she were truly honest with herself, the depth of his depression was more than she wanted to handle. She couldn't fix him, and even if she could, he wouldn't let her. Still, no one could accuse her of not putting in some effort, because that's the kind of thing good girlfriends did, wasn't it?

She sat on the bed next to him. "Your story is online and it made the front of the newspaper. Everyone at school is talking about you."

He grimaced. "Fantastic."

"Oh, no not like- they're worried about you. They all want to know if you're okay."

"Define 'okay.'"

It seemed like he wasn't capable of saying anything that wasn't dripping with sarcasm lately.

"People are genuinely concerned about you, Hiccup. You don't have to be so cynical-"

"They're not actually concerned, Heather. It's a news grabbing headline and I happen to be the subject."

She huffed. "You're not there, how would you know?"

"Because these are the same people who didn't give two fucks about me prior to all this. They're just latching onto the fifteen minutes of fame."

"Stop it," Heather said, grabbing his hand. "That's not how it is. You don't know because you're not there. People really do care. They feel bad for you-"

He snatched his hand away as though it had been burned. Heather's mouth dropped open in shock.

"And what about you? Do you feel bad for me too?" he asked, an undercurrent of intensity in his voice, like he was challenging her. Like there was a wrong answer.

"Of course I feel bad for you! You got into a fight and left in the woods! Why wouldn't I? Why are you acting like this?"

His momentary provocation lapsed back into gloominess. "I don't need your pity."

Heather was bewildered. "I... I don't pity you. As your _girlfriend_ , I am extremely concerned and worried, and all of your classmates are too."

"You don't have to pretend for my sake, Heather."

"I'm not pretending anything? Hiccup, what-"

"Sorry," he sighed morosely. "I'm just having a hard time believing anyone is genuine at the moment."

This was the most she had heard Hiccup talk the past week and it was deeply concerning. A nagging suspicion crept up- she needed to know what incited this kind of accusatory behavior from him. Thomas could've told him _anything_ , and the truth wasn't much better than a lie.

"What did Thomas say to you while you were out in the woods?" she asked warily, narrowing her eyes.

Hiccup rolled his eyes and sulked. "Nothing good."

"You know Thomas is a liar; you can't believe anything he might have said to you," she insisted hastily.

"Yeah, except when it makes a lot of sense." Hiccup deflated, drawing his right knee up and hiding his face in his arms.

"What? What makes sense?" she asked, exasperated, leaning toward him. "Work with me here, Hiccup."

"Everything," he said, exhaling sadly. "I've seen a lot of things going down the past year and I never spoke up about it. I just sat there and let it happen, because I liked you, and I kept hoping things would change."

"What things?"

He glanced at her over his crossed arms, green eyes rimmed in red. "Did you have a fight with Thomas? At the Homecoming dance?"

Oh. The one subject she wanted to avoid. She drew back and bit her lip, averting her gaze. Of course Thomas would've brought that up. If Hiccup figured out the real reason why the night progressed as it did, there would be no explaining it away.

"I... yes. We did have an argument. But it was only me telling him that we weren't a couple anymore."

Except maybe Thomas had made some impassioned reasons for reuniting, which somehow ended up in a kiss. And maybe she hesitated, lingered a moment too long before pulling away and chastising him, initiating the fight. Guilt and confusion mixed together into a dangerous cocktail of compromised emotions.

"So, how much of that fight influenced what happened later that night?" Hiccup asked.

_All of it._ She furrowed her brow and played dumb. "What do you mean?"

"How much did that fight influence your actions that night?" he repeated.

"It... didn't?" she said, her voice rising at the end.

"If you were attempting to convince me, try not ending your statement as a question."

"Fine, it didn't."

He furrowed his brows and stared at the end of his bed, mouth buried in his arms. "So, why haven't we done it again?"

She rubbed her forehead, stalling. Another question she was hoping he wouldn't ask.

"Um, I mean, I dunno," she shrugged, eyes demurely downcast.

"You're obviously avoiding it. You know I'd never pressure you, but you haven't shown any interest, either," Hiccup said dully. He reached down with one hand and mechanically rubbed Toothless's round belly as he sprawled out begging for pets, oblivious to the discussion.

She sighed and fiddled with her necklace. "Look, you're _sweet_ and all, Hiccup. I'm just not ready to make that a part of our relationship."

"Okay... but Thomas made your history with him crystal clear. So is it me? Is it just me then? Is it the leg?" He sounded painfully insecure.

"No!" Heather said, shaking her head. "You're fine. I just... I don't want to anymore. You're right, you haven't pressured me and I'm grateful for that. I dunno, I guess maybe I just thought, by being with you that night I could somehow... wash _him_ away. It didn't work, it just made me feel worse."

"...So... you used me?" he said, choking on the last word.

"What? No. I didn't _use_ you. That's... well it's not- what did Thomas tell you, exactly? Obviously he told you something, if you're bringing all this up now."

Anger crept into Hiccup's voice. "I think...what happened Homecoming night wasn't about you and me at all, was it? There's been a constant wedge between us and that was no different. It was about you and Thomas, and it pretty much always has been."

"That's not true. What we do is only about us, Hiccup. Thomas is an idiot and a jerk but he has nothing to do with-"

"No, but see he does," Hiccup insisted. "No matter what I do there's no escaping him."

"Aren't you being a little dramatic?" Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

"I think breaking someone's nose and leaving them out in the woods overnight carries a little more theatrical weight, wouldn't you say?" he said, glaring.

"It was a dick move, I'm not saying it wasn't, but he shouldn't be the focus of everything we do!"

"You're absolutely right, he shouldn't be, but until I stop feeling like the third wheel in this relationship I just don't see that happening!"

He was starting to get worked up and she would rather not drag all the skeletons out of the closet. Best to end the argument now.

Heather heaved a sigh and cupped her fingers on her forehead. "I didn't come here to fight. Why are we fighting?"

"Because of your stupid boyfriend?" he said sourly.

"Ugh," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "He's not my boyfriend, _you_ are. And I'm tired of fighting, I don't want to do it anymore."

"This might be a novel concept, but I don't like arguing either," Hiccup muttered.

"Then let's stop," she said coolly.

"Fine." He tugged his headphones on sullenly while Heather awkwardly preoccupied herself with her phone.

Figured this was all she received for her effort. Trying to get close to him was like hugging a cactus. She wasn't sure how many spines she wanted to put up with before it just wasn't worth it to her anymore.

ooo

After the fight, Heather didn't visit for another two days, excusing herself with homework and hanging out with her best friend. She wasn't actively trying to avoid Hiccup, but she didn't feel like racing to his bedside, either. She texted him a few times and he replied with one word answers, which annoyed her.

Then he asked if she was coming over after school and she felt obligated to go. She just hoped he wouldn't ask more questions she didn't want to answer.

They were cuddling in bed watching tv when an ominous buzz sliced through the air. He reached over and checked his phone.

"Must be you," he murmured.

She hesitated just a second too long. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and it vibrated in her hand two more times.

Three texts, all from Thomas.

She glanced at Hiccup. He was staring at the tv with his arm loosely held around her waist, a metaphor of how secure their relationship seemed at present. She sat up straighter and brought up the reply window, angling her phone so he wouldn't see the screen.

_Can't right now, busy_

She tossed the phone back onto the nightstand.

Three more buzzes in rapid succession. Hiccup glanced at her phone, then at her.

She picked it up before he could read the push notifications. "Molly's gushing about this new eye palette at Sephora," she lied smoothly.

He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head and returned his attention to the show.

_Babe come on I just want 2 talk_

_Pls just talk 2 me_

"Why don't you tell Thomas to fuck off," Hiccup said, eyes still on the tv.

_Heather I still love u_

She tensed, sensing the impending argument on the horizon- thunderous and foreboding, static charging the air and prickling her skin.

"That is literally every conversation I have with him, Hiccup," she said, a hard edge to her voice.

"Yet mysteriously he never seems to take the hint."

She bristled. "Are you suggesting I'm still encouraging him?"

"No, I'm sure he got the send off this time," he said evenly.

He still hadn't looked at her, but she glared at him. How dare he!

"You have _no_ idea what I'm dealing with!" she snapped.

This made him turn and look at her incredulously. "What _you're_ dealing with? Are you for real right now?"

"I know you've been going through a lot, but you literally don't understand the position I'm in at all."

"What _position_? Dangling yourself in front of Thomas's face?"

Heather swiveled her body to face him in clear offense and shock. " _What_? What the hell are you even talking about?"

"Don't act all innocent, Thomas said-" He cut himself off, clamping his mouth shut.

"Yes, please do tell me what Thomas said." Heather raised her eyebrow and gave him a sharp stare.

"It doesn't matter." He turned away.

"No, it does matter. You need to tell me what he said, right now. _Talk_ , Hiccup."

"Alright, fine, let's talk. How come it feels like I'm the side piece in your relationship with Thomas? Did you know he still refers to you as his girlfriend?"

"Well clearly he's delusional," she said, brushing it off.

"Is he delusional though?"

" _Yes_! Of course he is, where have you been for the past year?"

Hiccup shook his head, anguish washing over his face. "I've been right here, on the sidelines watching you talk to him and text him, _constantly_." He shrugged, downcast. "I didn't like it, but dictating who you can and can't talk to isn't right, so I never said anything. It's just... I can't take it anymore."

"Well... he texts me first, it's not like I seek him out or anything. And... okay, fine, I do talk to him maybe a little bit," Heather admitted. "But only because he was texting about his dad. Thomas has been going through a lot. You have no idea what he was dealing with."

"Yeah, he must be real sorry he won't be able to get more fancy phones and cars," Hiccup said under his breath.

"No, you don't understand," Heather implored. "You have no idea, Hiccup. His dad is a piece of work."

"He _is_ in jail for stealing from the school..."

"It's not just that. You don't get it." Heather shook her head. "Thomas is actually sorry. I saw the most recent article by Elena, that lady my big brother works with. He said she's had a huge boost at the Gazette because it's been real easy cashing in and playing on everyone's shock and sympathies. This time it was a little different though. Thomas wrote you a public apology letter. Did you read it?"

Hiccup scoffed. "No."

"Seriously? You didn't?"

"I don't care what he has to say."

"Hiccup. He was _truly_ sorry. Thomas never apologizes like that. He wrote that you weren't ever supposed to be stuck outside and things got completely out of hand. He knows he fucked up."

"Or, maybe it was court ordered and part of his punishment."

"Except it wasn't, and you would've known that if you had been there. Dagur said he approached Elena on his own."

Hiccup scowled and crossed his arms. "Are you on his side now?"

"What? No! I'm not on his side. He did an awful thing to you, for sure. But he also said he was sorry. Publicly."

"Sorry doesn't undo what he did."

"No, you're right, it doesn't. But, accepting an apology and moving on might be the antidote for all that poison you're keeping inside you."

"Yeah, but see, the poison and the antidote are both the truth."

"You are so frustrating!" Heather said. "Either say what's on your mind or just stop with the verbal equivalent of vague posting, it's so _fucking_ annoying."

"Fine. There's one thing I need know."

More questions. She braced herself while he gathered his thoughts.

"Do you..." He exhaled, almost nervous. "You know, with me, do you regret it?"

"Regret what, Hiccup," she said, patience worn thin.

"Homecoming," he said, heavyhearted. "Do you regret it."

The slight hesitance, the tiny pause and hitch of her breath told him all he needed to know. She answered in a rush as an attempt to cover it up.

"Of course not."

He shook his head morosely. "Tell me more, you know how I love it when you lie."

"I'm not lying!"

"Are you actually lying about lying right now?"

"Oh my God," she said, placing her hands on her forehead. "I... I can't do this."

"Fine, let's stop fighting then," he said sullenly, reaching for the remote.

"No," she said slowly. "I'm done. I'm _done_ , Hiccup."

It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

She really didn't want it to end this way, but he was asking for too much. She didn't want to put in the amount of effort it would take to heal all his insecurities, and she refused to acknowledge her part in creating them. This was a mess, and she needed out.

Hiccup was silent and it weighed on her chest as she waited for his reaction.

"...What?" he said, his voice small.

She sighed, shaking her head remorsefully. "Between you and Thomas and all this drama, I can't do it anymore."

"Drama? You think I'm the one causing the drama?"

"You're a huge part of it, yeah. I'm done."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"I'm sorry, Hiccup."

"I thought… I thought we were just fighting. You want to leave?"

His meek tone tugged at her heartstrings. "I don't want to necessarily, but you have a lot of things to figure out for yourself."

"But, it's literally about you and me?"

"You've shut me out at every turn. How am I supposed to help you? I care about you, Hiccup, I do, but I think we need some space. This is something you're going to have to figure out on your own. I won't keep getting pulled in all directions."

"This is the worst timing, you realize that. The literal worst," he said, his voice cracking.

"I'm sorry, I really am. You aren't helping yourself and I'm tired of staring at a stone wall every time I try to get through to you. Thomas keeps asking to get back together and I can't do this anymore."

"So you're just gonna choose him over me, then?" he said glumly.

"No, I'm choosing neither of you. What else am I supposed to do?"

"Stay. Work through this with me," he pleaded.

"It takes two to fix something like this, and right now only one of us is putting in the effort."

"I'm not- you think I'm not putting in effort?"

"Sitting around moping is not putting in effort, Hiccup," she accused. "And it's nothing against you but I can't do this anymore. You and I both know we haven't been happy for a long while. We had something nice once, but you've retreated into yourself so much, we just... lost it."

"So, wait, you're just going to blame me for it all?" he said, growing angry. "You think I wanted this to happen? You think I wanted literally anything that's ever happened to me to happen?!"

"No, of course not," she said dismissively. "But until you learn to live with it you're just going to keep pushing away anyone with good intentions."

"And you have good intentions?"

"That," she snapped, losing her barely restrained temper. "You keep questioning me! If you can't get over yourself, I'm not going to sit around and take accusations left and right. You've successfully pushed me away, Hiccup, me and all my 'dubious intentions,' congratulations."

"Well what am I supposed to think, when you're just so eager to ditch me when I need you the most? What was this ever built on in the first place?"

"Certainly not trust! You don't trust me at all!"

"How am I supposed to trust you when you turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble?" His face crumpled, the weight crashing down on him as the implications sunk in. "I know we can figure this out. I know everything Thomas said can't be true, I'm just trying to work this out with you. We can do it, Heather. I know we can... Heather, _please_. I don't want to be alone."

"I..."

" _Heather_."

"I don't think this is going to work, Hiccup."

He shook his head, bitterness and spite building its way back up around him, his impenetrable fortress.

"All I can say is, you're the one in charge of your own happiness. No matter what happens to you, or who tries their best to ruin your life, it's your choice to rise above it or let it take over you. I want to see you happy, Hiccup. I really do. But I'm not your life-jacket, and it's not fair to put that on me. I can't save you. You'll just end up dragging us both down, and I don't want to climb up from your rock bottom." She tilted her head regretfully. "I, I really hope we can still be friends?"

He inhaled shakily. "Any other clichés you wanna throw at me?"

"Hiccup, I'm just trying to-"

"It's fine, Heather," he said, his throat closing up around the words. "Just go _._ "

She frowned at his dismissal, but gathered up her phone and purse. She paused at the door. "For the record, I really did like you and you were a good boyfriend in the beginning. I'm really sorry... if you figure yourself out let me know."

He reached for his headphones with trembling hands and turned away. Her hand slipped from the doorknob. It seemed there was nothing left to say.

"Bye, Hiccup," she said softly, slipping past the door to his room.

ooo

"Hiccup, I know what you've been through set you back some, my dear, but you've missed too many rehab appointments. You won't recover on track if you keep missing more."

Silence from under the covers. Valka sighed. He had been talking and generally improving the past couple days, but then something happened between him and Heather. She walked out of the house with a regretful look on her face and he dove back under his blankets, retreating into his music and shutting everyone out with headphones firmly in place.

"Love, I can't let you miss another appointment."

"Son, yeh need to get up, take a shower, make yerself presentable and go to the doctor. Yeh can't keep carrying on with the mopin' now."

" _Stoick,_ please _._ "

"No, Val. It's been long enough. Help the boy up and let's go."

Valka quickly ushered Stoick out the door.

"A little more tact, please," she hissed at him.

"Tact?! What he needs is a swift kick in the pants," he said, gesturing to Hiccup's door.

"Stoick!"

"Well? Is he just gonna lie in bed forever? Are yeh just goin' to allow him to? It's gone on far too long."

"The boy is traumatized, can't you see?"

"I can see. And lettin' him wallow in seclusion isn't helpin' anything. He's not going to overcome all this by letting him spiral. Yer no' even giving him a chance, it's just enablin' him."

"You can't force him to get over it. He went through something terrible and he needs time. Give him some breathing room and let him come to it on his own terms."

"By allowing the boy to run? Yeh think I don't see what he does when he's facin' something like this? He's the master of avoiding his problems. He didn't deal with the loss of his foot, and he didn't let me handle the legal situation like I could've. I managed tae get Fenster's hearing moved up and he didn't show up in court, instead he's spending all his days hiding under a blanket like a child. Make no mistake, Val- lettin' him wallow isn't preparing him for the real world one bit."

"You're right, he shouldn't be allowed to wallow," Valka conceded, "But he's only a sixteen year old boy! He's not like you- he's a sensitive soul and you can't force him to slap a bandage on himself and move on just because it's what you'd do. He'll be alright in time, I know it. I'm asking you, just let him heal the way he needs to."

Stoick shook his head. "Agree to disagree, love. I'll back off as much as I can, but I'll no' let the boy get any worse. He may not believe it, but I love him with all my heart and I won't see him destroyed over somethin' like this."

"He's not destroyed. He just needs time."

"I know," Stoick sighed. "I just don't know if he has enough of it. What about school?"

Valka pursed her lips. "I've told them he'll come back when he's ready."

Stoick shook his head. "He can't miss this much. What about homework and attendance? Aren't there requirements to graduate?"

"There are, but he's still a junior, he can make it up. I spoke with the principal. They said they understand and this is a special situation. Especially because the altercation included another student."

"This whole thing is worrying me, love. The boy is as bright as they come and he's taking this too hard. His future could be at stake."

"His grades are fine. His friend has been dropping off his homework. He'll be okay, Stoick. We'll see to it."

Stoick raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, Val, alright. I trust you. I'll give him another week. If he's not up and about by then I'm dragging him out o' bed whether either of you like it or not."

"One week, then," she promised.

ooo

"Hey, Hiccup."

Fish set down a thick folder of papers on the bedside nightstand, on top of an already growing pile. He waited for a moment, but Hiccup didn't react. He probably didn't hear Fish come in, due to the music filtering out from the headphones. It was so loud he could clearly hear the lyrics.

_So Hum Hallelujah, just off the key of reason_

Fish shuffled awkwardly, not entirely sure how to get Hiccup's attention. He settled for giving the comforter two little tugs.

The slight shift of movement under the blankets was all the acknowledgment Fish received.

_I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light_

"Hiccup," Fish tried again, speaking louder and hoping his voice was heard over the music.

The volume turned down, not off completely but enough that Fish knew he was listening. "Fallout Boy, huh? You always did like that one."

He didn't expect an answer and there was no surprise when he didn't receive one, so he continued. "I brought your homework again. The teachers ask about you every day. Especially because you were on track to be valedictorian, you know? They don't want you to lose your class rank."

The blankets were stone still.

"You better be careful or I might show you up," Fish tried to joke, but it fell flat against the shape under the cover. "Anyway, I um... I talked to Heather."

If it were possible for a pile of blankets to tense, Fish would swear he could see it. "She said it was over between you two. I'm really sorry."

He sighed. Fish wanted to support his best friend, but it seemed he didn't know the best way to approach it. Talking wasn't getting him anywhere, but stopping the visits altogether seemed worse, like he would be giving up.

"Well, um... I'll be back with your homework again tomorrow. At least, I think I will, I offered to host the next D&D at my house but no one's gotten back to me yet. If you want to come you're always welcome, even though you don't play. If they come over I might bring your homework on Thursday then. But no later than that, don't worry."

Fish tapped the surface of the folder with his knuckle, shaking his head at the lump of sadness his best friend had been reduced to. "Well, I guess I'll see you around. I'll text you about tomorrow. Hope you... feel better soon."

He heard the music turn back up, tinny through the speakers.

_A teenage vow in a parking lot, till tonight do us part_

Apparently the visit was over. Fish creaked the door closed with a gloomy frown.

_I sing the blues and swallow them too_

ooo

"Hiccup? The school called. They want to know if you'll be returning today."

He didn't move, nor gave any indication he was awake. Valka sighed. She stepped toward his bed and gently shook his shoulder.

"Hiccup, love," she said more insistently, weaving her hand under the comforter. She found his hair and stroked it gently. "You have to go back sometime."

Stoick appeared at the door, in the middle of tying his tie. "He still not up yet?"

Valka shook her head.

"Hiccup, it's time, lad. You can't miss this much school, they'll hold yeh back a grade and yeh won't graduate on time." Stoick huffed with frustration. "I know yer goin' through a lot right now, son but you can't mope in bed forever. The guidance counselor said he wanted tae meet with you."

That made him hunch his shoulders, pulling the covers up over his head tighter.

"Hiccup, you really should speak with someone," Valka said with motherly concern.

"M'fine," he mumbled from under his downy fortress.

"Yer clearly _not_ ," Stoick said. "People who are 'fine' don't hide under their covers-"

"Stoick," Valka chided, shaking her head at him and tightening her grip on Hiccup's shoulder.

"No, Val, he needs tae hear it. He shouldn't just stick his head under the sand; he needs tae move on. At some point he has to get back to life and face it. This was _his_ choice."

"Absolutely nothing that happened to him was his choice," Valka scowled.

"No, of course not, but it was his choice not to appear in court. He made that bed now he gets to lie in it. And he can start by gettin' out o' this one."

"You're not helping anything with your tough love act."

"Well yer no' helpin' anything with the coddlin', either," Stoick shot back. "His week is up. Son, take the day, but yer going back to school tomorrow."

"No."

Stoick looked flabbergasted that he outright refused. "No? Yeh really think I won't put yeh into the car myself?"

Hiccup reluctantly sat up, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. "Not until I'm fitted for the new prosthetic."

"And when is that?"

"He has an appointment in three days," Valka answered. "The doctor thought it would be beneficial to fit him for his permanent prosthesis. I think it'll be good for him."

"Fine. Get yer new leg, then yer back in school. Valka, yeh should call and let them know. Hiccup, might want tae start on that pile of homework yeh missed there in the next three days. Fish was kind enough to bring it to yeh. Don't waste yer high school degree on somethin' like this." Stoick sighed, pausing for a moment. "You'll be okay, son. I know I'm coming off harsh but you need to get back to livin'. You'll feel much better once yeh do. Take yer mind off things, give yeh a chance to heal."

Valka smiled at Stoick and nodded. He left, and she gave Hiccup's shoulder another squeeze.

"Are you hungry at all? I can bring something up for you before I leave for the reserve."

"No," he said, and added, "but thank you."

Valka held in her own sigh and kissed the top of his head. "Love you, m'dear."

She was almost out the door when she heard him say, "Love you too, Mom."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Heather and Hiccup's situation is a very tangled gray mess. They are both young and inexperienced angsty teenagers. Heather is trying to be sincere and she wasn't looking to hurt anyone on purpose, but she's also being a little selfish and she's lied a few times. Hiccup has no idea how to handle his emotions (and he's handling them very poorly) and Heather has no idea how to handle his emotions either. Hiccup's observations about Heather's behavior are true, but he's also let the things Thomas said to him get into his head. It's something that could have been reconciled, if they had any idea how, but ultimately it comes down to two people who aren't right for each other.
> 
> Hiccup noticed Heather was still engaging with Thomas by talking and letting him text her. Instead of calling her out on it, he withdrew, because he worried it would look controlling by telling her who she can and can't talk to. The more Hiccup withdrew, the more Heather would allow Thomas to keep pursuing her. The more Thomas pursued Heather, the more angry he became at Hiccup for dating Heather, and his bullying increased. The more the bullying increased, the more Hiccup withdrew, the more he withdrew the more Heather talked to Thomas- as you can see, it was one big awful feedback loop.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is concerned about it, trigger warnings for intoxicated bad decisions, but it is consensual. Also not written out explicitly, I didn't want to go through that myself lol and I'm not putting you through that either.

"Hey, Hiccup! Good to see you back, bro."

He raised his eyebrows. Another person greeting him in the hallway, someone who previously didn't acknowledge his existence. It was excruciating in the most confusing way possible. All he wanted was to fade back into obscurity, the eyes and attention off him, but the whole day people were calling out his name, ogling him as they passed by, attempting to engage him.

The worst part was they were so encouraging- classmates who were borderline mean before were smiling at him. Girls were asking him if he was okay with no malice or amusement behind it, guys were giving him the nod of solidarity.

He sincerely worried he had somehow crossed a portal into Bizarro Land. When he got to his locker there were all sorts of notes and cards taped to it, sympathies written out in hearts and scribbled well wishes.

He was a fish out of water, flopping around pathetically with a gaping mouth, unable to breathe.

As he switched out his AP Calculus textbook for Spanish, his best friend walked up, ready to head to lunch. "I am ready for food," Fish said, patting his stomach. "You hungry?"

"Not really," he mumbled, shutting his locker.

"Oh. You'll still come and sit with me, right?"

He attempted to hide his dismay. He was hoping he could escape to his car for lunch period and take a much needed break from the apparent celebrity status he acquired. The quiet solitude beckoned him. Sitting in the cafeteria would be like hanging out in a fishbowl. All eyes on him, nowhere to hide, and more opportunities to run into people he really didn't want to see.

"To be honest I was hoping I could sit in my car for awhile."

"Oh. Yeah, okay. Want me to come with?"

_No. I want peace and quiet and I want everyone to stop looking at me._

"Sure, if you want."

"Cool. Let's just go through the lunch line and then I'll come out with you."

"Great." _Not great. The opposite of great. The absolute worst. I hate everything._

"So, have you seen Thomas?" Fish asked as they started down the hall.

Hiccup stopped in his tracks. "Does it _look_ like I want to see Thomas?"

"Obviously you don't want to talk to him," Fish said, "but I just thought you might want to see his face."

"I've had enough of looking at his stupid face to last me a lifetime." Hiccup started walking again, brushing past people.

Fish scrambled to catch up. "Would you wait? He got punched out!"

Hiccup halted again. "Huh?"

"Yeah. Huge black eye and everything."

"Probably one of his Juvie friends saying hello," Hiccup said dismissively.

"No," Fish said, shaking his head. "He only spent a week in the Juvenile Detention Center. This just happened. Um... the rumor is _you_ did it."

Hiccup reared back. "What?"

"Yeah. He didn't look like that yesterday. Since you came back today, everyone thinks you did it."

He scoffed. "While I'm flattered people think I possess the physical capacity to land a shiner on Thomas, it was not me."

"Wonder who did then?"

"Fish, this might come as a surprise, but Thomas is a raging asshole and picks fights all the time. The black eye could be completely unrelated to me."

"Yeah, I suppose," Fish said, contemplating, but mostly unconvinced.

"Can we just get some food and get out to the car?"

He turned, only for Heather to appear in his line of vision.

"You know what? I'm going to my car now. Get your food, join me if you want or not, I really don't care."

As he stalked away, a part of him felt terrible for taking out his bitterness on Fish, who didn't deserve it in the slightest, but at present everything was too loud, too overwhelming.

Fish's loyal support didn't go unnoticed, however and he did appreciate it.

He made a mental note to apologize later.

ooo

"Hiccup! Oh my God, it's been so long!"

Arms were thrown around his shoulders before he could see whom they belonged to and perfume overwhelmed his nose. When the girl leaned back he got a look at her face in the dimness of the bar and it was like a sock to the gut. Seeing her again after all this time made every unpleasant memory zip through his consciousness like a movie on fast forward. Good thing he already had copious amounts of alcohol in his system.

"Oh... um, hey, Heather."

"Hey yourself," she said coyly. "My goodness, time's been good to you, hasn't it?"

He flushed, unsure what to make of that comment. Or it was the beer and the shots, he really couldn't tell at that point.

"I guess. You look... great."

"Thanks," she preened.

"I didn't know you were back in town?"

"Yeah, I came back to visit all the old haunts for a few weeks. So, how have you been? What have you been up to?"

The next two hours were spent catching up with increasing amounts of heavy flirtation from his former girlfriend, culminating in a hand squeezing his knee and martini breath in his ear, suggesting they take this back to his place. His back hit the wall next to his apartment, lips busily occupied. The hallway kept tilting dangerously but his libido won out as he fumbled to unlock the door.

The next thing he could remember they were on his bed, a sloppy tangle of half shed clothes, and she must have been enjoying herself because all he could hear was her enthusiasm through the pounding in his head.

No... the pounding wasn't just in his head. It took a moment, but the two halted their amorous activity when they realized it was coming from the wall.

"What the hell?" Heather huffed, pushing him to the side and tugging up her underwear.

"It's the stupid neighbor," he slurred, placing a hand on his forehead, which felt warmer than usual.

"What an asshole. Why are they doing that?"

"You were being too loud," he said, his alcohol logged brain unable to process how bad an idea it was to express that statement.

Heather shot him an offended look. " _Excuse_ me?"

Oh, he was definitely drunk. He had one too many shots and there was no stopping his mouth. He laughed to himself, seemed he couldn't escape memory lane tonight. "You always were too loud... every time I worried my parents would hear, come up and bust us..."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Your neighbor's being a creep and you're blaming me? You always did that. Blamed me for everything!"

"When did I ever blame you for anything that happened, Heather," he said, exasperated.

"You blamed me for the whole Thomas thing. You thought it was my fault he targeted you. You blamed me for talking to him, like I was somehow making him text me all the fucking time. I was caught in the middle of you two; you put me in the worst position!"

" _I_ put you-?! _You_ never shut him down! Why didn't you ever block his number?"

"I!" Heather started, jumping on the defensive. "Well, um... I mean, I dunno-"

" _Exactly_. You don't get to whine that he keeps texting you and then never block him."

Heather was silent for a moment, like she was trying to think up a valid excuse, but it seemed she couldn't lie her way out of this one. "Fine, you're right. I never blocked him on purpose. Is that what you want to hear?"

Her admission of the truth sobered the mood. He quieted, scrubbing his hands down his face. "I'm just... I'm so confused. I never understood why you didn't shut him down. Why did you keep letting him come back time after time?"

"I dunno," she shrugged, picking at a loose thread on his bedspread. "It was nice to be wanted, I guess?"

"But _I_ wanted you. Was I not enough?" he asked, soft and mournful.

"Of course you were... but I mean... you were so sad all the time. You started withdrawing more and more, and then the accident happened and you just withdrew completely. I didn't know what to do?"

"I had a devastating life altering event happen to me, and you were upset when I didn't feel like talking about it?"

"The thing is, you should've talked about it, but you didn't. And Thomas, I know he can be a real dick and he's done some awful stuff to people, but I've told you before, he had a lot of bad things happening with his dad and he always talked to me about it. He _needed_ me."

"So, he gave you attention and you took it," Hiccup mused. "And then he turned around and harassed me for taking away his girlfriend."

"I had nothing to do with that," she insisted. "Thomas kept pursing me after we broke up and he saw you as a threat. He fought with me about you all the time."

"You know, you were so caught up in your own drama you never stopped to think about how your actions affected me. Because as much as you want to play hysterics over the situation, _I_ came out the loser in this one, Heather. Don't forget that."

"This is stupid," she said obstinately, crossing her arms. "Why are we still fighting about this, years later."

"Oh, wow... right on cue. You always did that. Shut down the fight before we ever finished working stuff out. Good to see things never change."

"You haven't changed either; not a bit. You're still just as sarcastic as ever. You know that made it really difficult to get to know you? You shut me out and kept me at arms length, and then you were so bewildered and hurt when I left. How am I supposed to be in a relationship with someone so closed off?"

"How was I supposed to be in a relationship with someone who kept dividing her time? You say I'm the one who withdrew, but you weren't ever fully present in the first place, Heather."

"But you _did_ withdraw. The more Thomas started picking on you, the more you pulled away."

"Maybe because you just dragged him behind you and strung him along, making _me_ _h_ is perfect target. He _harassed_ me for _months_ , Heather! You weren't the one stuck between the two of us, I was the one stuck between the two of you."

"Ugh, I tried to make it work the best I could and be there for you. But you never saw that, you only saw what you wanted to see."

"No, I only saw things I _d_ _idn't_ want to see- things like you purposely using me to make him jealous. At Homecoming-"

"Oh, great, bringing up Homecoming yet again," she sighed.

"You kept glancing at him while we were dancing together. He glowered at us all night and we were in his line of vision every time you kissed me."

"Maybe I wanted to prove to him without a doubt I was with you? Did you ever think of that?" she said, annoyed.

"He already knew we were together. Engaging in all the PDA only when he could see served one purpose- making him jealous. When I came back with punch you were gone. You told me you went to the bathroom, but Thomas was mysteriously missing too. I'm guessing that's when you two had that fight? And then that night _you_ came on to me, _you_ wanted to sleep with me so you could quote 'wash him away' as you put it, or was it really just the one time so you could hold it over his head? It's not like we ever did it again." Hurt splashed onto his face. "Did- did you have sex with me that night just to make him angry?"

She went silent and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Damn," he said, pushing his hands through his hair. "He was right... he was fucking right this whole time. You did, it really is true."

"Okay, I... look, I... did. But I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"You know that was my first time? I know it wasn't yours, but now I get to carry the knowledge I cashed in my v-card for revenge sex. _God_ ," he said, shaking his head and placing his hand over his face, "I'm such an idiot. I thought that night was special. I was holding onto that hope, I was actually _happy_... then Thomas said-"

He stopped, his voice giving out and he swallowed the words.

"You've always alluded to things Thomas said, but you never tell me. What did he _say_?" Heather asked.

"That you used me to prove a point to him. That it was- _pity_ ," he said, the last word burning underneath his sternum.

"Oh... that's awful. It wasn't pity," she said, shaking her head. "He was wrong. It... it was nice, Hiccup. But, I mean, it also wasn't..." She trailed off with a regretful shrug.

"You used me. Straight up. And then you lied about it." Bitterness crept back into his chest, volatile and untamed with the amount of alcohol clouding his senses.

"I just, I know I lied, but I still cared about you-"

"If you cared at all you wouldn't have done something like that."

"No, I did care!"

"Your actions sure as hell didn't show it."

"Well I did care. I felt guilty about it, I knew it was wrong-"

"Then why'd you do it in the first place? What I really want to know, is what happened that night between you and Thomas? What happened, Heather? _Something_ made you decide to fuck me."

Surprise and guilt were written all over her face, but she quickly recovered.

"You know what, I didn't come here to be put on trial," she snapped.

"Struck a nerve?"

"You... you are the most frustrating person I've ever met. You know what? We're not in a relationship anymore and I really don't need to sit here and rehash all this shit." She gathered up her clothes, yanked them on and stalked from his bedroom. She collected her purse and whipped her arms through the sleeves as she put on her coat.

He didn't follow, laying back on his bed, shaking his head with barely contained fury.

"Have fun being lonely and miserable for the rest of your life. Just remember, you brought it on yourself," she shouted from the living room. The door shut with a foundation shaking bang.

"Yeah, well _fuck_ you too," he said after she left.

He glanced at the wall and slammed his fist against it, just once, his anger boiling over at the neighbor who caused all the trouble.

Lashing out didn't make him feel any better. He sighed and stumbled to the bathroom as everything spun around like a Tilt-a-Whirl.

ooo

He looked up just in time to see his ceramic mug crash to the floor.

"Aww, son of a- that was my favorite coffee cup, you useless animal."

He stared at the scattered broken pieces, feeling like it was a metaphor for his life. An angry smack sounded from the wall and he rolled his eyes. His high-strung neighbor was back at it. Whoever it was needed to take a serious chill pill in the worst way possible.

"Great, now you've got us in trouble again." Toothless gave him a dirty look. "I saw that! Don't look at me like that, this is your fault."

He swept the last debris of his coffee mug into the garbage and plopped back down in front of his computer screen with a heavy sigh. Toothless was being positively unruly tonight, mostly because he didn't have time to play and work out the cat's energy. He knew his little buddy just wanted attention, but he could barely focus on his assignment at hand.

Leaves and branches blurred before his eyes and he wondered what was the point of it all. Art was his favorite thing in the world, but after that fight with Heather all the colors on his screen blended into dull gray.

It wasn't even like he still wanted her, but she had shown up in a whirlwind and ripped open all the wounds he worked so hard to hide, pushed into the background noise of his life. Now they smarted and stung, fresh as ever, and he'd have to do the work all over again.

A wet gnawing sound filtered into his depressive thoughts and he glanced over to see Toothless chomping away at his paint brushes.

"Ahh, Bud! Bud, stop it!" He jumped up in alarm. "Those are my good brushes! Toothless stop chewing on them!" Offended, he snatched them away and sat back in his computer chair as he examined the pinprick teeth marks in the wooden handles. He glared at the cat.

"You're just being a total dick tonight, you know that? You know I don't need this right now, right?"

Sharp insistent rapping sounded at his door and he raised his eyebrows, glancing at the time. He wasn't expecting anyone and it was late enough that it wouldn't be a solicitor. The knock didn't sound friendly, so he hastily sprang from his chair, toppling it over in the process. He cursed as he righted it, then approached his front door with caution.

Blonde hair filled the view out the peephole. Perplexed, he opened the door-

-to an extremely beautiful and also very angry girl standing in the hallway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case you missed it, the fight Hiccup and Heather had in this chapter recalls aaaaaaall the way back to chapter one. It literally was that throwaway line about Astrid listening to her neighbor almost get laid when he brought a girl home, and she pounded on the wall and broke it up, causing a fight. The sad part is, had Astrid not pounded on the wall, they wouldn't have been interrupted and maybe Heather and Hiccup could've worked out their differences while they weren't drunk and making bad decisions. Instead, he said something dumb and she immediately went on the defensive and it all just escalated from there, ha. Either way, it mostly boiled down to two people who weren't right for each other. Too much history, too much pain. So it's a good thing Astrid was being obnoxious, because OTP ;)
> 
> The very last section of this chapter also mirrors chapter one :)
> 
> Chapter four was the aftermath of this fight. If you didn't reread chapter four after chapter fifteen, it will definitely all make sense now. As a matter of fact, a lot of things Hiccup says and does in the previous chapters will make sense, cause I was sneaky like that :)
> 
> Chapter seventeen is mostly written, but I have a few gaps to fill in. I can't really give any sort of timeline for it, but just know I am working on it and I'm super excited to post it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay you guys... this is it. This is THE chapter. The whole story has been leading up to this.
> 
> I have had parts of this written for like a year and I am so freaking excited I finally get to post it.
> 
> I will say this... this chapter requires a lot of reading comprehension. Like ALL the reading comprehension. There are references to things all throughout the story and you might have to go back and reread to remember. Honestly the goal of this whole story was to make you go back to the beginning and reread it, after you know what's going on, and catch all the things you glazed over when you first read it. I didn't sign up to make such an intricate plot but it sure snuck up and bit me lol.
> 
> Unfortunately, basically all of chapter eighteen is written, but I am still in the editing and tinkering process with it. I have no timeline for when I'll be able to post that one, but I am working on it every second I get to steal away and write it. So, I apologize for not having it ready pleasedon'thate meee :)

Astrid stared, mouth hanging open and a look of disbelief on her face.

Hiccup's head was down, an air of defeat and shame hanging about him like a cloud.

"Wow. Just... wow."

"Yep."

"I never..."

"Yeah."

"You've been dealing with this the whole time? Oh Hiccup..."

He shrugged helplessly.

"So... okay, that was a lot to take in. So, wait, if you were that far out in the woods, how did they ever manage to find you, again?"

"Well, when I didn't come home that night my parents started worrying and calling around asking if anyone had seen me. When no one had, they called the police. The officers discovered my backpack, the broken headphones, and my car in the school parking lot without me in it. It was pretty obvious there was foul play going on."

"They must have been terrified," Astrid said sympathetically.

"Oh yeah, they were, for sure. Mom told me afterward they were trying to prepare themselves if I wasn't... um, found alive," he said grimly. "Since I was out in the woods, that was pretty... well you know..."

"I can't even imagine what your parents went through. I'm still baffled they figured out where you were though?"

"Oh yeah, my phone. Luckily for me I hadn't turned off the locating service. The signal was spotty out there, but it was enough and they saw the location before my phone died. Dad called in a few favors, cause you know, when the kid of a judge goes missing it's kind of a big deal. My parents and a search party combed through the woods. They brought along Sharpshot, since he was really good at tracking and he knew my scent. He's technically the one who found me first."

"Sharpshot? The one..."

"Yeah, the one I lost right when we met."

"Oh, Hiccup, I'm so sorry!" she said, pressing her hands to her cheeks. "If I had only known!"

"Nah, it's not your fault. You didn't know, it's okay. Anyway, my dad carried me back to the path where the stretcher and the ambulance were. I spent the night in the hospital, they patched me up, treated the hypothermia and cut me loose. Cue the media frenzy."

"It was a frenzy, too," she said. "Everyone was talking about it. How could those boys do something so  _awful_ , and to someone with a disability. Just hearing the news doesn't quite cover what truly happened to you, how bad it actually was- oh..." She placed a hand over her mouth as pieces of his puzzle were all falling into place and she began to see the whole picture.

He glanced at her for the first time in the conversation.

"Your... the... fight with Heather... oh my God it all makes so much sense now. This is the thing you didn't want to talk about that night. Heather broke up with you over this."

He closed his eyes and sighed, and she tried to remember the details of the argument she overheard and what was said.

"She did. Thomas was her ex and she was tired of the whole mess."

"She didn't know how to handle you after something like this, did she."

"I don't think we ever knew how to handle each other, to be honest. The accident was one thing. I was depressed and I had no coping skills-"

Astrid snorted. "You still don't." Then she realized how that sounded and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"No, by all means, take your shots," Hiccup said wryly.

"Please continue."

"High school sucks enough, you know? It just... it happened at the worst age something like that could happen." He shook his head sadly. "Everything is the end of the world when you're a teenager. Heather was really supportive at first. She's not a bad person, she just... well she had her own issues. But she did work with me living life as an amputee. I even got Toothless as a therapy cat-"

"Oh  _Hiccup_ , Toothless is a therapy cat? And I threatened to tell the landlord about him? I never would've demanded someone get rid of a therapy animal!" Astrid said, aghast. "Why didn't you tell me that at the beginning?"

"Because then I would've had to tell you about the leg, at that point random angry girl on my doorstep."

"You wouldn't have had to- ugh, just... keep talking," Astrid said, folding her arms.

" _Anyway_ , Heather and I somehow managed to hold onto the relationship, though it was already crumbling by then. But-" his voice hitched, "but after  _that_... neither of us knew how to handle that."

Astrid recalled Heather's insistence that she wasn't a guidance counselor. That she tried. That she wanted him to let her in but he wallowed instead. She had some sympathy for Heather in that moment, because dealing with that kind of trauma in a person wouldn't have been easy for anyone. Even if Heather had already been looking for a way out, teenagers were poorly equipped to deal with suffering of that magnitude, and it showed in both Hiccup and Heather's behavior alike.

"I can't believe... I can't believe you've kept all of this from me. I really thought we were getting close, but you've been holding out  _so much_..."

Hiccup looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, Astrid. It's not, that I didn't... I just didn't want to scare you off..."

"You obviously aren't scaring me off, Hiccup," she chastised. "You should've given me a little more credit."

"I realize that now," he said dejectedly.

"Right," she sighed. "Where were you? What happened after the news broke?"

"Well, in the aftermath, I just wanted it all to go away. Since I couldn't crawl in a hole and never come back out, I settled for my room and missed a lot of school."

"Didn't you want to see Thomas get punished?" Astrid asked. "Man, if my dad were a judge, I'd sit in the courtroom and watch that asshole go down in flames." She punched her fist into her other hand.

"Yeah, ha... see, that's the thing... I didn't want to press charges against Thomas. The thought of... of having to relive everything in court and all the details rehashed over and over..." He inhaled a shaky breath and shook his head. "I couldn't. I couldn't do it, I didn't want to  _talk_  about it. No one fucking understood!"

Astrid raised her eyebrows. "Oh..."

"Everyone was trying to get the story out of me. Everyone just kept... fucking talking about it and I wanted nothing more than to just s _top talking about it._  No one... you know, no one  _cared_  about me. Everyone was just caught up in the sensationalism, trying to  _get_  at me. It was- it was all over the school and in the fucking news. It was  _humiliating!_ "

"I... didn't think about it like that," she sobered.

"Yeah, you and everyone else," he said bitterly. "Especially my dad. Thomas- Thomas said some, some things about my dad so, I couldn't- I didn't want to prove him right, you know?" He shook his head as if to clear it. "So, even though dad kept nagging me, I refused to implicate Thomas and his friends. It sort of almost became a sticking point of pride, in a weird way. It became the  _only thing_ I could control about the whole ordeal."

Astrid nodded. "Yeah, I guess I can see that. You know anything Thomas said was probably full of shit, right?"

"Well, I mean... now maybe yeah. But at the time..."

"No coping skills," Astrid supplied.

"No, no coping skills," he agreed solemnly. "Anyway... Thomas kept insisting it was a 'harmless prank' that got out of hand. Since my dad has a lot of connections, he was able to get the court date moved up. Because Thomas was a minor he got a huge fine, had to pay for my medical bills, thirty hours of community service, and he spent a week in a Juvenile Detention Center. I didn't care. The only thing I did care about was the nasty black eye he came to school with. I don't know who did it but I felt this wicked sense of satisfaction seeing his face messed up like that. Everyone thought I did it and Thomas wouldn't admit it, but it wasn't me. I'd like to shake the hand of whoever did, though. I know that's probably petty of me."

"It's not petty at all. I would've happily rearranged his face for you."

"I don't doubt that, you're kinda scrappy, aren't you."

Astrid sighed and leaned forward, placing her head in her hands. "I'm... I'm so, so sorry."

"For what?" he asked, confused. "It's not your fault, obviously, I mean..."

"No, I know... I'm sorry about what happened to you of course, but I'm just sorry I didn't remember. I should've remembered, how could I forget something like that?"

He pulled away uncomfortably. "Well..."

"What?"

"I'm sure you had plenty of other stuff going on in high school. Why would you remember a random news story about some dumb kid that got left in the woods."

"That's... but that doesn't excuse it. Ruff remembered," she said, tears springing to her eyes. "I feel terrible... Ruff remembered. Ruff  _recognized_  you, and I had no idea. What kind of person am I?"

"You were the most popular girl in school, generally stuff like that isn't on your periphery."

"What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" Defensiveness crept into her tone.

"You dated Eret.  _Eret_. The guy who was drafted into the NFL. Like I even  _compare_  to that."

She narrowed her eyes. "Don't do that. Don't measure yourself against something like that."

"It's kind of hard not to? I mean, I just told you about the worst moment of my life where I lost every shred of dignity I had and I'm disfigured and you heard Snot, I was a nerd in high school and I'm a nerd now. You were the most wanted girl in school and you dated a future professional football player and if you turned down  _Snot_  why the hell would you ever want  _me_? I'm not- I can't-"

"This isn't high school, Hiccup. You're being ridiculous again."

"No, no I'm not. Girls like you don't date guys like me. Damn it, I  _knew_  it was too good to be true. I  _knew_  it. You're way out of my league, I never should've invited you over, I'm in too deep now and you're just going to-"

"First of all, what do you mean girls like me? And how do you know so much about me in high school? We didn't even go to the same school. How do you know about Eret?" She stared at him. "Hiccup?"

"Um, well..." he said, fidgeting and not meeting her eye.

" _Hiccup_."

He sighed. "It was the Viking costume."

"What?"

"I didn't remember who you were when you showed up on my doorstep threatening to evict my therapy animal," he said with a wry smile, "but when you put on that Viking mascot costume, it hit me."

"What hit you- how?"

"I was at one of Berk East's parades with Snot. You know, forced into some bonding time and all. He used to talk about you a lot. I mean, I mostly tuned him out, because listening to Snot brag about hot girls was about as riveting as watching paint dry for me, but anyway...You led the Pom Squad and he pointed you out to me. I remember thinking no wonder Snot carried such a torch for you, because you were  _beautiful_. But you know, as a nerd, I had no chance with a girl like you and we went to different schools so I sort of forgot until I saw you in the costume again."

"Oh my God... so you've known who I was, practically this whole time?"

He nodded.

Astrid threw her hands up in frustration. "Did everyone basically know who everyone else was this entire time except me?!"

"Kinda, apparently," Hiccup said, with a sheepish shrug.

"And no one thought to fill me in," she said crossly.

"I didn't want to burst the bubble. Somehow I managed to get you to come back and  _date_  me. I was terrified you'd figure everything out, and then I'd lose it all."

"Oh,  _Hiccup_ ," she said, exasperated. "Is this why you freaked out when we had that fight about sex? I couldn't figure out why you weren't angry with me, and why you got me a bird when I should've been the one apologizing to you."

"I thought you were going to break up with me, I didn't know what to do. I was worried you'd think I took something from you dishonestly. I'd  _never_  use you like that, but what if you didn't understand and you hated me for it? I didn't want to risk having sex with you, knowing you'd regret it afterward once you found out about all... well all of this. I couldn't handle that on top of everything else."

"So, this is the  _real_  reason why you wouldn't sleep with me? You certainly got yourself all twisted around in your head. What makes you think I would ever regret sleeping with you?"

"First of all, once again, Eret.  _Eret_. Football star. Like I could ever measure up to that. Second, the leg, and all the fucked up shit that comes attached with that. I mean, my body is lanky and weird and missing half of it doesn't help and what if you took one look at me and-"

"Stop it. Hiccup,  _stop_  it."

"It's true though, I mean eventually maybe I'd get over it but I didn't want to have you and then you regret it or like... be disgusted-?"

"Hiccup,  _seriously_?" she said, tilting her head and giving him a stern look.

"Well, I don't know! If you had been anyone else, I might not have psyched myself out about it so much, but it was  _you_.  _The_  Astrid Hofferson... I couldn't... I would rather let you leave, even though it would literally kill me, than know you regret sleeping with me. You- you're everything. You have so much to give and I- I have nothing to offer in return," his voice cracked. "Who wants to be with some half-legged nerd that got beat up and left in the woods? How are you supposed to be  _proud_  of that?"

"Okay, there's a lot in there to- I'm just  _me_. And what you went through would have been terrifying for anyone-"

He scoffed. "People go camping all the time, Astrid. I wasn't brave enough to spend one night out in a place where people go on  _purpose_ -"

"No, stop right there. When people go camping they have warm clothes, lanterns, tents and fire and food, they don't have broken noses and they don't believe that no one's coming back for them-"

"It was one night and I sat there like a scared little kid. My prosthetic and phone were at the top of the cove the _entire fucking time_!" he burst out.

She exhaled, shocked into silence.

He leaped up from the couch and paced around, gazing at the floor with a hand in his hair. "The entire. Fucking. Time," he said, softer. "But I didn't even  _try_. I took one look at the wall and decided I couldn't do it. I was too scared, I just... I  _failed_."

"You didn't  _fail_  anythi-"

"But I did. I literally failed at life, Astrid. I wasn't strong enough." He shook his head. "There's just no way you'd want to chain yourself to this mess. You deserve someone better than me-"

"Okay, okay whoa, you're- Hiccup-"

"You were the most beautiful popular girl in school, who dated a quarterback star, like you'd ever stick around once you found out. The whole thing is ludicrous, I was just biding my time until you dropped me. And now that everything's out in the open- just, please let me down easy. It's better this way-"

"Stop it-"

"If you want your Christmas presents I can give them to you. Or I can return them if you don't want them, cause I know it's weird having gifts from an ex around-"

"Please don't return my presents! Hiccup!"

"You don't even have to call me an ex, if you want to just deny this whole thing ever happened I understand, I won't ever mention we dated-"

"Stop, stop stop! Okay, that's enough out of you." She leaped up and clamped her hand over his mouth to halt his tirade. She shoved him in the direction of his room. "Bedroom. Now."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you, but I don't understand-"

"Shut your damn mouth and get into your bedroom."

"But-"

"Hiccup! Now!" She set her jaw and pointed with her finger.

He wisely stopped his flood of protesting and tottered into his bedroom.

"Wait right here."

" _What_?"

"I said, wait right here. I can tell this is going to be a long night and I need to feed Stormfly. So don't move. I will be  _right back_."

His arms dropped to his sides as she pointed a stern finger at him. Then she marched out his door and down the hall. When she returned he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looked up, mild surprise on his face.

"You came back."

"Of course I came back. Did I not say I would?" She closed his bedroom door with an air of finality behind her. She stalked across the room and grabbed his hand, yanking him up. He instinctively leaned back as she tugged him into a kiss. It was more a pointed mashing of lips than anything, but she needed to get her message through that thick skull somehow. She broke away to peck kisses along his cheek to his ear, where she nipped his earlobe with her teeth. He hissed and she grinned.

"What are you doing?" he asked weakly.

"If I can't tell you how much you mean to me, I'll have to show you."

"Wha- but-" The utter befuddlement on his face was evident as he gazed at the floor.

She pulled away, holding one of his hands and ducking down so she could look him in the eyes. "Did you really think I was going to run screaming after all this? Why do you look so confused?"

He shrugged, completely lost. "I... I don't know what's happening right now. I prepared myself for all sorts of scenarios but none of them included this."

"Hiccup... that's kind of messed up?"

"Of course it is!" he exclaimed, releasing her hand and gesticulating wildly. "You heard everything, my  _whole life_  is messed up! Why would I think this would be any different?!"

"Because you didn't trust me," she said tartly, poking him in the chest.

"No, no," he said, shaking his head and waving his hands. "This wasn't about trusting you or not. This was about me and the past repeating itself."

"Excuse me, this is not high school, and I am  _not_  Heather," she insisted hotly.

"No, no you're not, and I  _know_  that. But..."

She arched an eyebrow with crossed arms.

"Okay, okay, look," he said, calming the frantic gestures and running a hand back through his bangs. "I  _never_  wanted you to think I wasn't trusting you. It... it was more a relief for me. To meet someone who didn't remember my past, who liked me for me and it didn't factor into the way I was treated. I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want the pity. I want so desperately to move on, Astrid. I want this to stop haunting me."

Her arms slipped out of their crossed position. "Oh, babe..."

"And, and... okay. So maybe I was a little freaked out that it was  _you_. If you were any other girl it still would've been hard…like really hard, but you're you and it was intimidating. You're everything I'm not. You're cool and you're popular and so  _awesome_  and I was afraid if I opened up you'd reject everything I am. How could I know? I mean, I wanted to let you in  _so badly_  but I didn't know how to take that chance when I was already burned once."

"Kay, let's address that little red flag first- are you just with me because I'm 'cool' and not because of who _I_  am as a person? Because out of everything I've heard tonight,  _that's_  what bothers me. I'm not an ideal, Hiccup. Don't put me on a pedestal."

"Oh, no, I'm not, I swear I'm not. It's easy to admire a hot girl simply because she's pretty and a lot of guys are that shallow. This isn't, I'm not like that- You're  _amazing_. You have an awesome personality and you're the whole package and somehow I got you here and I had no idea how to keep you here, because what in the world would make you stay? Certainly not the truth, not this- this- walking disaster hiding in the shape of a college student."

"Hm, so you avoided it and ran away, just like you always do," she assessed.

He hung his head. "Guess that's all I know how to do."

"Well it's time to start facing your problems head on. You won't ever get out from underneath them and be free of them until you start taking leaps of faith."

"You're the one who's good at that kind of stuff. That just isn't me," he said sadly.

"Maybe it's not. But you never know until you try. Because that's your whole issue- instead of trying you just resign to fail. Well, you haven't failed yet. You have me, see? You took a leap of faith and let me in and I'm still here. You didn't fail at all."

He looked up sharply. "You're not leaving me? You're not scared away by all this?"

She rolled her eyes. "Isn't that evident yet? If I didn't want to bother with you anymore I wouldn't have cornered you in your bedroom. No, I'm not leaving you. And you know why? Because you're an amazing person too. Everyone deserves to be loved and you are worth it."

His eyes started glistening with a watery sheen. "But, I'm not-"

"No," she said, holding up a firm hand. "That has got to stop. First step on the Hiccup Recovery Plan is rediscovering self worth."

"I think you mean discovering. You can't rediscover something you never had."

"Fine, Mr. Sassbucket. With that smart mouth of yours anyone would think you had all the confidence in the world."

"Ah, but see it's my number one trusty misdirection. I dazzle you with my sheer wit so you don't see the sea of bitterness that lies beneath. I may not have self confidence but I've got self awareness in spades."

"Mm, I might beg to differ."

"I have zero self confidence, milady-"

"No, the self awareness. Have you seen a therapist?"

He scrunched his nose and opened his mouth to speak.

"No, wait let me guess," she said, cutting him off. "You refused to go? Thought you'd rather just drown in your sea of bitterness alone because what good will a therapist do anyway?"

He clicked his mouth closed.

"Uh huh. Well, you're right about one part of it- a therapist won't do you any good if you sit there and lock them out like you did with everyone else. It's like an addict, you have to hit rock bottom and be open to their help and ready to change your life if you're going to get anything out of it."

He looked at her meekly. "I don't like opening up."

"But you did it. You did it with me."

He exhaled a heavy sigh. "Sitting and bearing my soul to a professional judge of character would be more painful than having a tooth pulled without Novocaine. I don't want to be judged."

"They don't judge you, they listen to your problems and help offer you solutions."

"Are you sure about that? Cause I really don't need more people psychoanalyzing the inner basket case. I just want it all to go away."

"Well, maybe it finally can, but that's up to you. Who else have you told about this?"

He shook his head. "No one."

Her eyebrows rose. "No one? Hiccup, you've never actually discussed what happened to you out there with anyone? Not even Heather?"

"Ha! Heather," Hiccup scoffed. "First of all, for all her accusations about trust, she never gave me a reason to trust her. She always claimed I didn't put in effort, except she actively worked against the one thing she wanted from me- ah, this is- well it's water under the bridge now. I don't need to bad-mouth my ex-girlfriend. Suffice to say, no, I did not discuss it with Heather."

"Your parents? Not even your mom?"

He shook his head somberly.

"Oh, Hiccup," she said, pulling him in for a fierce hug. "Second step in the Hiccup Recovery Plan: Let Astrid help."

He placed his hands on her hips. "Hiccup didn't think he'd get this far with Astrid."

"Well he did. Let me help, please let me help, babe."

"I'll try," he murmured.

"You're not going to like this, but I really do think you should talk things over with a therapist."

He grimaced and hunched his shoulders.

"I know, but it's for your own good. I can see now that your past has affected every single thing we've done in our relationship up to this point. I'm your clean slate, okay? You can do this.  _We_  can do this. I'll even come with you, if you need the moral support. I will do everything I can for you, but I'm not a professional. I'll always lend an ear when you need someone to listen, but since I'm your girlfriend I can't be impartial. A therapist doesn't have the same emotional ties to you that I do. I really think you've got a lot of things you need to get off your chest and it would be good for you."

He tilted his head and jiggled his left leg, clearly uncomfortable. "I don't know..."

"Promise me you'll at least think about it?"

"Umm..." He scrunched his nose again and sighed. "Okay. I'll... I'll think about it."

"Good," she agreed, smiling up at him in earnest with her arms wrapped loosely around his waist.

They pressed together so close. She nuzzled his throat with affection and his fingers tightened their grip on her waist. The pulse at his neck quickened and his hips naturally swayed against hers. Interesting... maybe they had said enough words for now. Maybe the next step in his recovery plan didn't involve much more talking.

"So, about those body issues... Do you trust me?" She murmured into his ear and walked her fingers up his chest.

He huffed, shifting his weight. "That's not fair, using my own line against me."

"You used it to your advantage to get me naked for you; I can absolutely use it for the same purpose," she said, amused.

He shook his head, his bangs hanging over his eyes. "Astrid, I can't-"

"Do you love me?"

He stiffened in her arms. His breath hitched and he clenched her hips.

Her question was risky- if he didn't, she'd get a disappointing honest answer or force him to lie. If he did, she could be pressuring him to reveal it before he was ready.

Something had to give, one last push in the right direction, his final secret to spill.

She hoped she took the right chance.


	18. Chapter 18

Astrid's heart pounded furiously in her chest, echoing into her ears as she waited for his answer.

Every second felt like an eternity. She prayed Hiccup still had some courage left in him, instead of resorting to his usual diversionary tactics.

His fingers trembled at her waist and he hung his head, unable to meet her eyes.

_Come on, babe. You can do it._

He inhaled a shaky breath, his slow reply a raw wet whisper as he admitted the truth.

“Yes.”

Her heart soared at his confession, full of a thousand butterflies and a joyful smile lit up her face. She placed both hands on his cheeks. “I love you, too.”

He sagged against her in relief, arms wrapped around her tight, burying his face into the bend of her neck and shoulder. She squeezed him reassuringly, one hand splayed on his back and the other stroked the nape of his neck.

“How,” he mumbled from her shoulder.

“I don't know, there's just something about you. Because, you were wrong, you know. About you and me. I'd never regret doing _anything_ with you. We're not defined by something as shallow as who we were in high school.”

“But I haven't changed. How could I possibly be enough for you-”

“Hiccup, you're doing it again. If you haven't changed, then obviously who you are is enough for me. Your personality isn't just some dumb label; you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You're defined by your kindness, your intelligence, your sweet and sass. You're charming and witty, and you make me laugh. I love spending my time with you. I just... I love you, _all_ of you.”

“Astrid,” he choked, squeezing her so tight it was hard to breathe.

She patted him comfortingly, and he released her so she could pull his face down to kiss him in a passionate melding of lips and tongue. A wet sheen glimmered at the corner of his eyes and his fingers curved around the back of her neck under her braid. When they parted, he cupped her face and brushed her cheekbone with his thumb, drinking her in like he had been lost in a desert and she was an oasis.

“Are we good?” she asked softly, smiling at him.

“I guess? I'm still waiting for you to run screaming, to be honest.”

“Mm, that's not going to happen. The opposite, in fact...” She placed her palms on his chest. “Now that we've established I love you and you love me, I'm going to ask you one more time: do you trust me?”

“Yes. Yes, I do, but-”

She sank to her knees, running her hands down his body as she did so.

“Whoa- what are you, what-?” He backed up skittishly, but she hooked her fingers in his belt loops and tugged him forward.

“Shhh,” she said, looking up at him from his middle with mischievous eyes, undoing the button of his jeans.

“Oh, wow, you're- okay- ah. You- you don't have to do this, if you don't want to. I'm okay-”

“I want to. Part of Hiccup's Recovery Plan.” She winked at him.

For all the secrets he kept, he never was good at hiding his emotions. A spark of interest warring with self preservation played out on his face, but ultimately her eyes held him pinned, transfixed on her hands and her mouth placing little kisses near the pockets of his jeans.

“Can we not- oh- um, act like this is some sort of intervention or somethi- _Ah!_ -”

He jumped as she pulled his zipper down and nuzzled the opening of his pants, earning a soft groan from the back of his throat. He twitched against her nose through his boxers and she grinned, pleased her little idea was working and he didn't seem to have anything more to say.

Astrid was nothing but straightforward, and this would definitely make her point.

She teased with her lips, ran her index finger underneath an expanding length covered in cloth. One of his hands touched her face, tender fingertips tracing her jaw.

An easy slip of the button on his boxers exposed him and she took him in, holding his hips to keep his knees from buckling.

She started with a slow pace, fingering lightly along the length of him, and he lost what little composure he had between every lazy drag of her tongue. As her mouth teased one place on his body her fingers ventured elsewhere, beginning at the back of his left thigh and drifting to his knee. He shifted his leg, some part of his lust filled brain still aware of her ploy.

This was about getting him as comfortable as possible, so she halted her exploration for the moment and found some more creative ways to use her tongue instead. He seemed to appreciate her efforts judging by the shakiness in his knees.

She slid him into her mouth as far as she could, silently pleased when she felt the tension shift and his restraint give way with a breathy exhale. She pulled off just as slowly, popping flirtatious eyes up to check his enthralled heavy-lidded expression. Her attempt to play him right into the mood she wanted was successful.

Using this sort of sexual act to distract him in such an emotionally charged situation was probably sneaky and a little underhanded, but she had a feeling it was going to take something drastic to pry him out of his shell. To be fair, she had done this to him plenty of times, but she always respected his boundaries and his pants stayed on. Tonight was the night for advancing their relationship and breaking down barriers.

She cupped the calf of his prosthetic and waited. If he were truly uncomfortable he could easily stop her at any time and she would, without hesitation.

He consented to the contact with eyes closed and fingers gently tangled in her hair. She took it as a win and moved on to the next step, tugging on the hem of his shirt pointedly, indicating she wanted him to take it off. He complied, trembling hands gripping the back of his shirt by the collar and slipping it over his head. She splayed her hands on his bare stomach appreciatively.

She drew her tongue in a languid circle around the tip of him and worked at the waistband of his jeans, sliding it down until the fabric bunched at his knees. He allowed her to free his right leg, the pants mostly off except for the lower half of his left leg, the whole source of his anxiety.

He locked gazes with her as she reached for the rest. His eyes widened with slight fear and hesitation, the spell broken when it came down to the moment.

She pulled off him with a delicate pop and indicated the bed. He flopped down, hunching his shoulders abashedly.

She hooked her index finger into the waistband of his pants and tugged twice, a silent question asking for permission. He inhaled deeply, then nodded. He looked away as she carefully slid his leg out and set the jeans aside.

She kissed his kneecap and rubbed his thigh with reassurance. He still had his boxers on, giving him some semblance of being covered, but the most important part was finally exposed.

Sitting on the floor and resting her head against his right knee, she traced grooves and smooth planes with her finger. Previously she had only caught glimpses of his prosthetic, never for this long or this up close. It was shiny and sleek, mostly black with red detailing and a calf shaped cover over the pylon.

He told her once that he wanted a prosthetic with a build resembling a natural leg, something he could wear a sock and shoe on, making it easier to hide. The post-op one she found featured a curved hook instead of a simulated foot and had been difficult to conceal under pants, contributing to his self consciousness in high school.

It wasn't like she had much experience with prosthetics, but he looked normal enough to her and there was nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, she could tell his was expensive with how fancy it looked, but now was probably not the time to say it.

She knelt in front of him and gently glided her fingers down the back of his prosthetic.

“Are you comfortable enough that you can take this off for me?” she asked, just above a whisper.

He swallowed, his hands gripping the bed so tightly his knuckles were white.

“Ah, um... I...”

She ran her hands over the tops of his thighs soothingly and shrugged, open and earnest. “It's just, I love you and I want to get to know your body as well as you know mine.”

He paused, mulling over her words and working up the courage to overcome his biggest insecurity.

“You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm really proud of you,” she said, patting his knee. “I don't expect you to-”

“It's-” He coughed, clearing his throat. “It's okay. I- I can. I'll, um... I'll do it,” he said, nodding nervously.

He bent over, methodically pulling off his prosthesis and setting it aside carefully. His fingers shook as he peeled down his compression sock. Once it was removed, he squeezed his eyes shut like he couldn't bear to see the look on her face when she saw what he hid away the most.

She could've smacked him in exasperation if the situation weren't so intense and he wasn't so emotionally fragile.

With all his anxiety over her reaction to it, she thought maybe the amputation hadn't been clean or there was something wrong with it. Instead, his leg simply ended below the knee and looked like any other picture of similar amputations she had seen before. It wasn't off-putting or shocking in the slightest, and honestly it made him even more endearing.

“Hiccup, look at me,” she said, opting for the gentle approach he needed.

He did as she asked, a quick anxious dart of his eyes and ducking his head like he still expected her to walk out on him.

She smiled encouragingly, cupping the back of the calf he had left and massaging the shortened shin bone with her other palm.

“You're _fine_ , babe. I thought maybe you had severe scarring or something with how nervous you are, but the doctors did a good job. Even if you did have scarring, it wouldn't matter. You don't have to be shy or embarrassed in front of me. I love you, every single unique part of you, okay?”

He drew in a shuddering breath and nodded sharply.

If she had to repeat herself a thousand times to make him understand, she would. This was the breakthrough she had been waiting for- the walls of his sarcasm breached, his sass tumbling down.

An urge to protect his heart welled up within her chest at the sight of his vulnerable expression. She didn't know why or what it was about him that incited such fierce loyalty in her, but maybe now wasn't the time to deconstruct all the complicated emotions that played into loving someone.

Now was the time to act on it.

She rose to her feet and tipped his chin up to kiss him. His response was lukewarm and timid, so she climbed into his lap and straddled his hips.

He held her lower back as she enticed him into kissing, nibbling on his bottom lip and working her tongue against his mouth until he opened it. She trailed her hand down his chest and stomach, into the front of his boxers.

He instinctively pushed into her palm when she wrapped her hand around him. His interest perked up with every flit of her fingers and she settled into a firmer rhythm to get him restarted.

This strategy proved effective and he responded much better. She gripped tighter and engaged his mouth at the same time. Once he was sufficiently back in the mood, she placed her hands on his shoulders, readjusting her position and grinding the seam of her jeans against the tip of him. He grabbed her waist, pulling her down as he thrust up, seeking more solid contact. She sighed a breathy moan into the air, rolling her hips in time with his.

Their breath mingled as he bit his lip, brushing his nose against hers. Her mouth was drawn to his like a magnet and his tongue slid agonizingly slow against her bottom lip, sending shivers up and down her spine. His mouth opened wider and she thirstily responded in kind, the tempo building into one of the most deeply erotic kisses they had ever shared, all breath and tongue and teeth.

The usual restraint in his demeanor was absent, replaced with a clingy sort of desperation, and it sent a bolt of electric tingles between her legs. He began messily tugging her shirt off in the least finessed way possible and she helped untangle it from her arms.

One hand reached around to undo the clasp on her bra and that too joined the growing pile of clothes tossed on the floor.

As soon as she was topless his face was on her chest. She smiled and threaded her hands through his soft hair, just as flushed with the urgent contact of their pelvises and his hot mouth on a nipple, soft wet tongue alternating with the sharp edge of an incisor.

Switching sides to even the attention, he applied just the right amount of pressure and nip of his teeth to curl her toes. She clenched her hands in his hair.

He pulled back for the two seconds it took to concentrate on shakily undoing the button of her jeans. His breath ghosted over the cool saliva on her breast and she shivered.

This was getting carried away, swept up in an impassioned current and it felt absolutely wonderful. One of his hands drifted around to palm her ass with a squeeze and something crinkled in her back pocket.

The sound broke the hazy spell and he was mildly confused. She reached back and produced a small foil wrapper. His eyebrows rose and he looked up at her in astonishment.

She shrugged with a little smile and spoke in a hushed tone. “I grabbed one just in case. No pressure, of course- but if you are up for it, I am too. If you're not ready, it's totally fine; we can do what we always do and I won't be disappointed if you say no. You've already made a ton of progress tonight.”

He searched her face, eyes full of love and affection. “Astrid...”

“Whatever you want,” she whispered.

He glanced at the packet in her hand, weighing his options. “You... you're positive you won't-”

“I won't regret it. I _promise_ ,” she assured.

He breathed out. “Then... I want this,” he nodded with conviction. “I don't have anymore reasons to hold back.”

She considered him. “As long as you're absolutely sure. You know, like you're _emotionally_ ready too, because you've been through a lot-”

He cut her off with a fierce kiss, his enthusiasm clicking their teeth together. When they disconnected she breathed, “So that's a yes?”

He acquiesced with another drawn out kiss, his hands hot against the skin of her back.

When they came up for air, she slipped off his lap and he tugged her jeans down her legs, taking her underwear with it. Once she stepped out of the clothes he wrapped an arm around her waist and swooped her onto the bed, settling on top and insistently penetrating her mouth with his tongue. Arousal flared up between her legs, the desire for other parts of his body to penetrate parts of hers a sharp needy ache.

His face gravitated to her chest again, palming one while his tongue swirled around the other. He tenderly brushed his fingers along the underside, then back up to lightly pinch a nipple between his thumb and the side of his index finger. She pushed up against his mouth and committed the image of his handsome face against the swell of her breast into memory.

Since he still had his boxers on, she reached down to relieve him of them. He raised his hips to help her slide them off, the last piece of clothing between them falling to the floor.

He parted her legs with his knee and slotted his hips between her thighs. For the first time they were both fully skin on skin. She took a moment to appreciate the intimacy and how wondrous it felt, finally experiencing his body heat on hers completely uninhibited.

Their hands roved over each other, enjoying the ability to explore all that bared skin with no clothing barriers to hinder them. The tip of him pressed against her flesh, a tantalizing tease of what was to come.

She would have no problems skipping to the main event right now, but this development caused a slight deterioration in his mood as they wandered into uncharted territory.

The intensity of his arousal remained steady, but emotionally he clung onto her even tighter, focused on messy uncoordinated kisses in a near frantic need to reassure himself she was his, this was really happening and she wasn't going anywhere.

She did her best to comfort him, yielding to every kiss, stroking her hands along his shoulders and into the dip of his spine at his lower back.

She ran her toes along the remainder of his leg, reminiscent of their first night together all those weeks ago when she discovered his prosthetic. He hunched his shoulders as he let her investigate this new level of intimacy between them, but she soothed his fears with another solid kiss.

As she was about to reach for the packet, he slid down her stomach, kissing around her navel as he went. She half sat up, confused. It seemed he was venturing back to safer territories and avoiding the emotional minefield for the moment. One hand gently pushed her shoulder back down and then his mouth was on her. She moaned and flopped her head onto his pillow.

She curled her legs around his head, letting his talented tongue do what it did best, and her mind was awash with sensation and praise over a man who knew the value of good foreplay.

He slid a flat tongue against her slick little bundle of nerves and her knees jerked. He liked to tease and stoke the flames of her arousal with light touches until his middle and ring fingers found their way inside her with deliberate swiftness.

She arched her hips into his hand, rolling her head back. Those long perfect fingers of his didn't just look attractive, they felt fantastic too and he knew how to use them.

He sat up for better access, hooking those clever fingers against just the right spot internally and she saw stars. He parted her knees a little wider and his other hand diligently worked from the outside, searching for the best stimulation.

Her hands tangled in his sheets and his efficient technique brought her to the edge and made her tumble right over, the most powerful pleasure she had ever experienced crashing over like a wave breaking on the shoreline, helplessly dragged out to sea in the undertow as every part of her trembled.

She exhaled a noisy sigh, momentarily exhausted, and his fingers gently withdrew.

He crawled back by her side and she opened her legs so he could fit between them. He showered her neck and shoulder with nips and kisses. She bucked her hips involuntarily, the tip of him skimming against her underneath and he almost slid right in on accident.

He lifted up and supported himself on straightened arms and she fumbled for the set aside packet. Shaking fingers hampered her ability to tear it open, but she managed and rolled the protection on him while his fingers glided inside her one more time, ensuring she was ready.

Once everything was in place, he settled right where he needed to be and she cradled his hips with bent knees. He clasped one of her hands against the bed and she stroked the back of his neck with the other.

They panted in sweet anticipation as nervous fluttering hearts came together, and his lips caressed the curve of her jaw underneath her ear.

“I love you,” he whispered against her neck.

Her heart burst with overwhelming raw emotion at hearing him say the words for himself. Heat spread through her entire chest, rushing down her limbs to the tips of her tingling fingers and toes. Even her lips felt pins and needles as she echoed his sentiment back to him.

He flexed his hips and inched forward, entering smooth and slow. She hid her face in his shoulder, completely overcome, the initial slide exquisitely euphoric as his body merged with hers.

Everything around them faded away as she focused solely on him, his breath hot against her throat and his hand on her lower back, firmly pressing her hips flush with his.

They took a moment to adjust, learning the new sensations of each other.

He squeezed her, face buried in her shoulder, motionless and fragile like he would break if he tried to move. She twirled her fingers in his hair and comforted him, running a hand up and down his back soothingly.

She shifted her pelvis to accommodate him and he inhaled sharply next to her ear, grasping her hips like it somehow kept him grounded.

Once she felt his position within her was comfortable, she pushed on him, wiggling her bottom to get things going. He rolled his hips once and both groaned simultaneously at how fantastic that felt.

He started a slow tortuous pace, drawing back and sinking in and it was already so much better than she ever imagined it could be, all thoughts concentrated on his body and how warm and full it felt in hers.

This was intimacy as it was meant to be. There were times in the past when she believed all the fuss over sex was exaggerated. Sure it felt nice, but it was hardly the mind-blowing orgasmic experience people claimed it could be and her past frustrations achieving the blissful end hadn't helped matters any.

Love was the key- the deliverance on all those promises here in a dimly lit bedroom on a creaky bed. She never realized how much the mind and heart enhanced sex and amplified every sensation. Sex any other way would pale in comparison after this. Basic physical desire alone would forever feel empty after experiencing this kind of emotional connection played out in a carnal dance.

She loved him so much, it was sheer relief they could openly express it to each other and nothing unsaid lingered between them any longer. She felt connected to him on a profound level, like two halves of the same whole joining together where they were meant to be. He shared his secrets and his body with her and he wanted this just as much as she did. All he needed was a little confidence.

He halted his motion to gather up her legs and hook her bent knees over his forearms in a spicier twist on missionary. The position put less pressure on his hips and knees, allowing him to thrust easier. Even so she could detect just a hint of unevenness in his motion, due to the lack of leverage on one side, but it wasn't enough to pull her out of the passionate haze.

This angle allowed him to plunge deeper and she whined with each dip. She wrapped the palm of her hands around his locked elbows and moved her head to the side so he could slather kisses on her neck as he swayed against her with a faster pace.

The hint of unevenness became more pronounced the longer they carried on and she sensed he was tiring. It was hard work keeping up when he didn't have full strength on his left, so she kissed him and halted his hips. She didn't give him long enough to be confused, urging him to lie on his back as she slung her leg over him and straddled his waist, hovering and getting herself into position.

He rested his hands on her thighs, grip tightening as she wrapped her fingers around his length and guided him inside, easing down. They both sighed and his stomach muscles clenched as she settled.

She leaned forward and pressed her chest to his, attempting to find a comfortable angle and adjusting his seat within her. Once it felt right, she started up the roll of her hips. His head fell back and his eyes squeezed closed. She cherished the look of rapture on his face.

His hands gripped her bottom and guided her motion. He punctuated their mutual rocking with upward thrusts, pulling her down to meet him and hitting all the right notes. She pressed her face against the sweat slicked skin of his neck, catching the edge of his collar bone with a love nip.

The elastic band fell off the end of her disheveled braid, so she sat up and raked her fingers through her thick hair, tossing it over her shoulders.

He pushed her thighs apart as far as she could spread them and she leaned back, propping herself up on his bent knees. His thumb found the apex of her legs as his other hand braced against her belly.

She was already so close, right on the verge, and the combination of his talented fingers and the heat of his palm on her skin triggered her climax, hitting swift and heavy, crashing over her just as intense as the first one. Fireworks popped behind her eyelids and blinding red hot pleasure radiated up from her core. She pitched forward with a gasp, hands on his chest as she rode out the shimmering waves, curling her shoulders in with every shiver.

The end of her release seemed to ignite his own and he bucked his hips, rolling them over so she was beneath him again. He tossed her right leg over his shoulder and he stroked powerfully into her, grasping her hips and unable to help the exhaled groan with one final deep push.

He set her leg down and collapsed on top of her, completely spent.

While they lay panting together, locked in an intimate embrace as he rested inside her, she felt a wicked streak of smug satisfaction.

_Got you. Finally cracked you right open and you spilled all over._

This was the type of mess she didn't mind cleaning up.

They remained joined as long as they could, peppering little kisses on shoulders, necks, and cheeks, but eventually he drew himself out carefully and rolled to the side, legs entwined as they stared at the ceiling.

Once hearts and breaths had slowly recovered to resting rates, Hiccup ran a hand through his sweaty bangs.

“Wow... that was... just... wow,” he sighed hoarsely. “We should've been doing that a long time ago.”

Astrid scoffed playfully and lightly smacked the back of her hand against his chest.

“And whose fault was it that we weren't.”

“Mine, it was all mine. Past Hiccup was kind of an idiot.”

“Mmm, well present Hiccup made up for his mistakes.”

“He sure did. Cause we just need to be doing that all the time. Like, never leave this room again because we live here now all the time.” He looked down. “Um... I better... do something about this soon, or we're going to have a mess on our hands.”

She laughed, reaching for the box of tissues off his nightstand. “Here, I'll take it and get rid of it. You don't have to worry about getting your leg back on then.”

He grimaced, but handed her the slip of latex in exchange for some of the tissues.

“Um, where did you get that from? I didn't question it at the time, but how did you randomly have a condom in your back pocket?”

“I grabbed it when I went to feed Stormfly. Ruff told me where her stash was.”

“So... wait, you had this planned?”

“Not planned, exactly. More like hopeful?”

He furrowed his brows, thinking it over. “You... were hopeful? To have sex with _me_?”

She grinned. “Shocker, right? I was _actually hoping_ I'd get to sleep with you. And boy did I ever get lucky.”

He blushed and scratched the back of his head from the implication, like he was still struggling to process the events of the past few hours. “Huh...”

“Yep. So now, I'm really sorry but you're stuck with me, pal. It's been decided.”

He smiled. “I could get used to it.”

“Good. I'm gonna take care of this and I'll be right back.” She got up and promptly stumbled, unprepared for the weakness in her knees. “Whoa!”

“You okay?” he asked immediately, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah, I'm fine. My legs feel like jello!”

“Really?”

She snorted. “I see you puffing up with male pride. Yes, the sex was amazing. I can barely walk.”

He grinned, but she could see the echo of insecurity behind it. “So I guess I don't have to ask if it was good for you then?”

“Mmm,” she hummed happily. “The best. I regret absolutely nothing. In fact it's probably the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.”

A small adoring smile appeared on his face.

“Was it good for you too?” she asked.

His eyes were still a little dazed. “Oh, _yeah_. The absolute best.”

“It's almost like we're really good together or something, huh?” She winked and staggered off, placing a hand on walls and door frames for support.

Toothless followed her in when she returned on steadier legs. Hiccup had cleaned himself up and slid under the covers.

She crawled back into his bed, rearranging the blankets over them and snuggling into his side, relishing the bare skinned cuddling. He placed his arm around her as Toothless jumped onto the bed and curled up between their legs with a rumbling purr.

“Love you, babe,” she said sleepily, hugging him tight.

She could almost feel the serene smile on his face.

“Love you too, milady.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, so that happened!  
> And it was about time, because of course the whole point of this story was “how can I get these two nerds to sleep with each other” and nothing else. Kidding! But also somewhat not... ;)  
> If you're a huge dork like me and like to know what inspires people's writing, my anthem for these past two chapters is “One Foot” by Walk the Moon. Something about the lyrics just fits this story perfectly and every time it comes on I rock out to it and think about all the stuff I put poor Hiccup through lol.   
> I only have bits and pieces of the next chapter written, which have been sitting there for months. Can't promise any sort of timely update for chapter 19, but I have to say it feels real satisfying finally getting this one posted :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So where did all the time go? So sorry it's been forever since posting but I've had a busy summer and finding the time to work on this has been slim. Anyway! Thank you to everyone who's been hanging in there with my sporadic posting schedule. Also a big thank you to everyone who leaves a comment, I appreciate you so much! Anyone who bookmarks this too, thank you for supporting me :) 
> 
> Anyway, a little bit of focus shift in this one. Remember when I said don't get out your torches and pitchforks just yet concerning Snot? Read on, my friends :)

Ruff slumped over the bar, dejectedly swirling half full foamy liquid in an amber glass bottle. She sighed and chugged down the rest of her only solace's contents, waving at the bartender for another. He twisted off the top and set the same in front of her with a sympathetic smile.

The bar wasn't busy, allowing her to pity drink in peace. She picked at the label, barely registering football stats on the screen above the shelves of alcohol when a familiar presence slid onto a stool beside her.

He ordered a drink and sat in somber silence.

Ruff rolled her eyes, unable to take the chasm of awkwardness between them. She was about to open her mouth when he spoke first.

“I'm sorry.”

She sighed.

“No, really. Please hear me out, Ruff. I really am sorry about what happened back there.”

She shrugged. “It's fine. You don't have to apologize.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Why?” She snorted. “It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything.” She took a long draw from her beer.

“That's your decision, not mine.”

She glared at him, annoyed. “Please don't tell me you're totally clueless as to why that is?”

“I'm not into Astrid. I haven't been since high school.”

She turned back to her drink. “It's not about Astrid.”

“I know she's your friend and you're trying not to blame her in all this, but really. It's been years, Ruff.”

“I know. Although, you don't have much of a case after that little tirade of yours.”

He sighed and fiddled with his beer. “I was just shocked, is all. Seeing her with Hiccup brought back all of that... frustration. She turned me down in high school because I wasn't _cool_ enough and she told me that straight to my face! But now she'll date _him_? It's the hypocrisy that made me angry, you know?” Snot shook his head. “I mean, it doesn't matter. It's just sort of funny, I guess.”

“Mm,” Ruff said, tapping her bottle on the bar. “You know, your cousin is a sweet kid and Astrid has been good for him.”

“I can see that,” Snot conceded.

“And I know you pick on Hiccup, but you also care about him.”

“In a 'he's family' way, maybe.”

She nodded.

“So, Astrid and Hiccup are good for each other. Why are we sitting here in a bar picking labels off beer bottles.”

“Maybe I just needed a drink,” she said defensively.

“You always need a drink.”

“You're always the cause of it.”

“I really didn't mean to offend you, Ruff. I'm not 'settling' because I couldn't bag Astrid in high school.”

She grimaced and looked away. “That's a blunt way to put it.”

“And I'm saying it's not true. I couldn't care less about what Astrid does now. And honestly, if she makes my cousin happy? I'm happy for the both of them.”

“Where was this mature Snot two hours ago.”

“He had his head up his ass for a moment.”

She snorted and the corner of her lip lifted.

He drummed his fingers on the counter. “You know... I don't... I don't like it when you sleep with other guys.”

Her eyebrows rose on her forehead and she glanced at him. “Where did this come from all of a sudden?”

He shrugged, pulling up his defenses. “I dunno. Seems like we're having a serious dialogue here, or something? Since we're talking about what's been going on between us, I guess I needed to get it off my chest. I didn't say you couldn't... you know. With other people. I just said I don't like it.”

“I don't get around as much as people think I do,” she said, calculating. “And if this is honesty hour, I don't really like it when you sleep with other girls.”

“I don't,” he said sadly.

“What about Mindy? At Gustov's lake house?”

“She came onto me. She kissed me, I was drunk, but not that drunk. I wasn't into it. I told her I was involved with someone else and she left. Didn't stop her from spreading _misinformation_ , apparently.”

“So, you haven't?”

“Not since the first time we were together.”

She looked at the bar pensively. “But, why-?”

“I really like you, Ruff. I thought you knew that.”

She bit her lip and tore the label off the bottle. “I'm not really a relationship kind of girl.”

“That's not true and you know it. You could be if you wanted to.”

“Why? Relationships are messy and complicated.” She ripped the label in half.

“And friends with benefits isn't?! Cause we have this _all_ sorted out.”

“I'm not exactly a fan of putting myself out on the line.”

“Who the fuck is? The thing is, you already have put yourself out on the line. If you didn't care for me at all, none of this would've affected you in the slightest. The fact that you're here, sulking in a bar and drinking it all away is proof that you care.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I'm a little mystified at your sudden insightfulness.”

“Been spending too much time with you,” he smiled.

“Maybe that's what got us into this mess in the first place.”

The smile fell from his face. “So... are you saying you want to break it off?”

“Maybe I need some space.”

Snot shook his head in frustration. “Or, maybe, you need to be a big girl and suck it up for once. If random hookups with guys who don't give a shit about you make you happy, then you do you. If you want something real, with someone who genuinely gives a fuck about you, look me up. I'll be around.” He slammed down the rest of his beer and set it on the counter, sliding off the stool to leave.

“Snot, wait,” Ruff said, halting his step.

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her expectantly.

“You've given me a lot to think about,” she admitted.

“You think too much. We're already past that. Either take the plunge or stop wasting my time, Ruff.”

She turned her head away. “Fine. What we have is too good to lose.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yes.”

“So are we doing this then? For real?”

She picked at the chipped nail polish on her fingernails. “...Looks like it.”

“Does this mean you're my girlfriend?” he clarified hopefully.

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Yes.”

His grin lit up his face.

ooo

Astrid woke slowly, deep contentment resting under her sternum and warmth snuggling every inch of her bare skin.

The curve of her back nestled perfectly against Hiccup's chest. His arm draped over her waist, fingers loose on her breast, as though his hand relaxed when he fell asleep. There wasn't a millimeter of space between them and she basked in the wonderful feeling of all that hot skin on hers. They had fallen asleep in various states of undress before, but his bottom half was always clothed.

The physical sensation of being this close with someone only enhanced and amplified the feelings rolling in her heart. New love, commitment, satisfaction. Butterflies tickled her stomach along with a twinge between her legs when she thought about last night.

Waking up in his arms felt so right, like everything was meant to be. They had a deeper understanding of each other now, she was his and he was hers and nothing could come between them.

He was still asleep, his soft even breaths tickling the hair curling around her ear. She smiled and covered his hand with hers, pressing it to her breast. He stirred at her touch and shifted his hips. She perked her own at the movement, snuggling even closer into him, if that was possible.

His fingers twitched as he roused from sleep. He inhaled deeply and circled a nipple with a lazy index finger. Arousal pulsed between her legs in rhythm with her heartbeat.

Since he woke up, other parts of him woke up too and she bit her lip with a grin, purposely wiggling her bottom on him. She often pulled the wiggle trick in the morning, especially when she was hoping for a little action, and apparently it worked even better naked. Hiccup groaned and pressed against her with a sharp breath.

He peppered sleepy kisses on her bare shoulder, trailing his warm palm into the dip of her waist and over her hipbone.

She rolled to her back and found his mouth, the kiss igniting instant sparks of passion as she roped her arms around his neck.

Things quickly escalated when Astrid pulled him on top and he settled between her spread thighs. They lined up perfectly and it took every ounce of her willpower not to tug his hips into hers. It was a shame she didn't have the foresight to plan ahead, as she only grabbed one packet from Ruff's stash the night prior.

Hiccup seemed to have just as much trouble restraining himself and she didn't do anything to discourage him. A deep kiss distracted them both and the tip of him unintentionally slipped inside. Astrid's hips rose to receive him on instinct. They both sighed and Hiccup's teeth grazed her neck as he slid in further, neither of them able to resist.

She desperately wanted him to move, but it seemed there was some form of higher brain function left in his head. He dropped his forehead on her shoulder and settled for gripping her hip bones to combat all the primal urges commanding him to keep going.

She squirmed, far more concerned with giving in to her own primal urges rather than thinking about consequences to their actions. He groaned and held her still.

“This feels so good,” he murmured in her ear. “ _So_ good... But this isn't smart...”

“I know, I knooow...” she moaned. “Maybe... how strong is your pullout game?”

“Never had to test it,” he chuckled. “Wouldn't trust it. Not when you're this... I had no idea it could feel _this good_...”

“I don't want to stop,” she whined.

“Me either, but we should... right?”

She wrapped her legs around his waist, trapping him.

“Astrid,” he said, a hint of exasperation in his tone.

Why did things always have to feel so amazing when they couldn't continue?

“Fine,” she muttered, lowering her legs. As she did so, he thrust sharply. “ _Oh_! Ooohhhh...”

She arched her back and rolled her hips underneath him and he responded with several more flexes of his own. It became clear they couldn't overcome the temptation. He rested his forehead on hers as he slid back and slowly sunk in. She tilted her head and caught his mouth in another kiss.

He brushed his fingers through her hair. “I love you, so much,” he said, still timid and vulnerable even though he was buried inside her.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and ran them up to his cheeks and into his hair, pulling his face down for more kisses. “I love you, too,” she said confidently.

It would take more than sex alone to battle his insecurities, but reaffirming the feelings they discussed last night was a start.

He nuzzled into her neck. She stroked her fingers through his hair and squeezed his hips with her thighs.

“I have to get ready for work soon,” he mumbled.

“Ugh, that's right,” she sighed. “Just gonna abandon me, huh? I see how it is, you got what you wanted and then you're out the door.”

“Excuse me, you're the one who wiggled your ass all suggestive like on me.” Seemed the moment of vulnerability was past as he slipped right back into his sassy comfort zone.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“I was peacefully sleeping and then I wake up to you practically begging for it.”

“Ha! _Begging_ for it?! You're the one who has no personal restraint, _sir_ who is currently inside me.”

“Like you didn't eagerly take all of me in. I barely did anything, you pushed on me and wrapped your legs around my waist so I couldn't pull out!”

She couldn't help the cheeky grin. “Noooo... I did no such thing.”

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them down to the bed. “Listen, you little _minx_ -”

She pecked a kiss on his nose. “How about, we finish this in the shower?”

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully. “Alright... you win this round, milady. But I'm watching you.”

“Watching me in the shower?”

“You really want to take a shower together?”

“No, not at all, that's why I suggested it.” She bit her lip, eyes twinkling.

“Hey, _hey_! That sounded suspiciously like sarcasm. You are not going to out sarcasm _me_ -”

“Mmm I think I just did,” she challenged gleefully. “Pushed you right off sarcasm mountain, who's the king now?”

“Still me,” he said into her ear, tightening his grip on her wrists and thrusting into her. She moaned and rolled her head back, raising her hips to meet him. “But you can be my queen.”

He halted abruptly and smirked down at her glazed half lidded expression.

“Why'd you stop?” she complained.

“Thought you wanted to finish this in the shower?”

“Babe,” she whined, wriggling underneath him. “I need... I need...”

“This?” He slid his hand down between their bodies.

“Yes,” she sighed in relief.

He made quick work of her with his fingers and she promised to return the favor once they reached the shower.

She grabbed his crutches out of the closet and his cheeks tinted red as he accepted them.

It was all so new. This routine would take some getting used to, but she hoped being naked around each other would become natural and comfortable in a short amount of time. She led the way to the bathroom and started the shower so he wouldn't feel like she was scrutinizing him.

She tried to appear as relaxed as possible to set him at ease, though she could tell he was apprehensive as he set the crutches aside. She thought about offering her hand to help him into the shower, but decided against it. He managed fine on his own and settled on the bench. She stepped in after him. It was a tight squeeze, but she doubted he minded the view.

“Well, this is a plus.” He grinned and tugged her forward, nuzzling into her chest. “So, where were we?”

“Mmm, right about here?”

She knelt one knee onto the bench and ran her fingers through his dampening hair. She slid her other hand into his lap to fulfill her promise, caught up in a heated kiss as steam rose from the hot shower spray.

Once they were finished, Astrid handed him the body wash bottle.

“You know, now that all the dust has settled from last night, I still can't believe you're Snot's cousin!” she said, working shampoo through her hair. “I mean, it was you all this time! You know, if you knew Snot had a thing for me, what were you going to do the next time you had a family gathering and he found out you were dating me?”

“Ha, I don't know. Watch his mouth drop open in shock? I really didn't think that far ahead, to be honest. I certainly didn't expect it to go the way it did. Things sure would've been different if my Aunt and Uncle had come to Thanksgiving with him this year.”

“Oh, I didn't even think of that! We just missed him, didn't we? That would've made Thanksgiving a thousand times more awkward!”

“You're telling me. It really is a small world though; I had no idea he was the guy dating Ruff.”

“Right? How crazy was it that we never ran into him at my apartme... oh. _Oh_.”

“What?”

“ _Ruff_ ,” Astrid growled. “That little _sneak_! No wonder I never saw Snot much after we started dating, and all those texts asking where we were staying for the night. I just assumed she wanted to know who was looking after the apartment or if she could have the place for a guy. Little did I know she was trying to make sure you and Snot never crossed paths.”

“That had to take some impressive coordination on her part,” Hiccup said. “She got real lucky Snot's parents decided to visit his dad's side for Thanksgiving.”

“She's gonna need some more luck after I'm done with her,” Astrid threatened.

“Oh boy, you've got that scary gleam in your eye.”

“What scary gleam? What are you talking about?”

“The one that singes my arm hair and sends shivers down my spine. Like percent chance for bodily harm is extremely high.”

“Oh, stop it. I do not-”

“Oh jeez, now you're turning it on me. Don't look at me like that, Ruff's the one who was being sneaky! I mean, I was also sneaky, but my motivations were purely self preservation, and honestly okay yeah there's not much difference between me and Ruff, I probably deserve this, can you... yeah can you stop that? I'm very nervous about the fact we're in a shower and it'd be super easy to wash away all the blood and evidence of murder. Oh now just I'm giving you ideas-”

“Hiccup?”

“Yeah?”

“Stop talking, babe. Find a better use for your mouth.”

“Right, shutting up. And... kissing you?”

“Better,” she nodded.

ooo

Hiccup left for his work shift and Astrid shuffled over to her own apartment to take care of Stormfly. The door was unlocked, which meant Ruff must have come back the prior evening or sometime in the morning.

Astrid mentally prepared herself for the confrontation as she entered. Ruff was fixing herself lunch in the kitchen.

Astrid snorted, unsuccessful at hiding her annoyance.“Oh, look who's home! Aren't you a perfect little actress. You should win an Oscar.” She tossed her keys onto the counter with a pointed jangle.

Ruff chuckled and shook her head. “Don't take that tone with me.”

“Really though? You couldn't have given me some warning? Not even a hint? Instead you just let me walk right into that without a fucking clue. I could've really hurt him!”

“Yeah, but you didn't. Instead, you worked things out like an adult all on your own and your reactions to his past were genuine.”

Astrid frowned, some of her fire doused by the rebuke.

“How was the sex, by the way?” Ruff asked casually.

“What, how did- we-” Astrid stammered. “How did you know?!”

“Oh please, give me some credit, Astrid.”

“It was good,” she admitted, defensiveness in her tone as she crossed her arms and hunched her shoulders. “So, what do you have to say about it? Since you told me you'd have plenty of things to say once we did the deed.”

Ruff laughed and continued making her sandwich. “I'm really happy for you two.”

Astrid's shoulders lowered a fraction. “Really?”

“Of course,” Ruff said lightly.

Astrid narrowed her eyes. “I feel like there's something you're not saying. Which is entirely possible, given the past twenty four hours.”

“Mmmm, what gives you that impression?” Ruff said, spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread.

“The way you're acting right now. Just come out and say it!”

“Congratulations?”

“Oh come _on._ I can't believe you're not itching to drop all your little truth bombs on me,” Astrid said crossly. “No pearls of wisdom from Ruff, perpetual bachelorette?”

“Huh... I thought you'd be even more chill once you got laid, but I was wrong,” Ruff said, setting the butter knife down with a harsh clink. She leaned against the counter and took a bite of her sandwich. “Interesting. Science.”

“ _Seriously_ , Ruff?”

“Alright, you want a truth bomb?”

“Lay it on me,” Astrid challenged. “I'm interested to see what you think you know.”

“Oh boy. Such attitude from someone who's barely a step above clueless. How about, for starters, you needed someone like Hiccup more than Hiccup needed you.”

“What the _hell_ do you mean by that?” Astrid said, a combination of confused and offended.

“All Hiccup really needed was someone to empathize. Any girl who cared enough about him to listen could be that for him.”

“So, what, you're saying I'm not _special_?”

“No. What I am saying, is accepting someone specifically like him has been good for _you_. Consider your past. You wouldn't have given him a second glance in high school.”

“That's not true, I-”

“Don't act like you were little miss nerd ambassador back then. You were at the top of the social ladder and you knew it. You were never unkind to people like Hiccup, but there's no way you'd date someone like him either.”

“I...”

“Just look at how you treated Snot. If you had bothered to give him half a chance, you'd know he's not at all what you think he is.”

“Okay, _hold on_. Snot and I wouldn't have worked as a couple,” Astrid insisted hotly. “I shouldn't have to keep apologizing for not being attracted to someone and, and, being guilt tripped over it. Especially someone who was annoying and couldn't take a fucking hint.”

Ruff nodded coolly. “I mean, yeah, that's fair. You shouldn't have to apologize for who you're attracted to, totally valid. And you are right, you two would not make a good couple.”

“So?” Astrid said, gesturing at Ruff to continue.

“ _So_ , you're misunderstanding the point I'm trying to make. Snot asked you out, what, only three actual times? And he backed off once you started dating Eret.”

Astrid mentally counted on her fingers, her mouth twisting into a frown when she came to the same total as Ruff. “Well, _whatever_. It seemed like more.”

“But it wasn't. You brushed him off and that was it. The thing is, Snot wasn't some random asshole pestering you at a bar. If you had actually gotten to know him better, as a friend, you would've seen all of that annoying bravado and obnoxious flirting is a facade concealing low self-esteem and insecurity.”

Astrid scrunched her nose. “Um, don't take this the wrong way but that doesn't sound any more attractive than the obnoxious flirting.”

“It's not, but once again, _you're missing the point_ ,” Ruff said, exasperated. “He's not what he seems and you just read his cover and moved on. It may not sound attractive, but what it does make him is a big old softie sweetheart underneath that exterior, and someone who is deeply affected by the words of a person he admired. You aren't responsible for Snot's unrequited feelings or his ill-timed crush on you. But, you are responsible for your own behavior and how you treat other people, especially someone in our friend group. Most people are multifaceted and only project a certain image for others to see. You didn't even entertain the possibility of there being more to Snot than what you assumed in your snap judgment.”

Astrid looked away, suitably chastised.

“Haven't you ever wondered why Hiccup's moves in the bedroom seem so refreshing compared to all those other deadbeats? Why he treats you so well? Because he actually gives a shit about your happiness and satisfaction and he's terrified of losing you.”

Astrid squirmed uncomfortably. She _had_ compared Hiccup to her previous partners and noticed the difference, but never thought about the reason why his behavior seemed exceptional.

“That poor boy's self-esteem is so ridiculously tanked he feels like he has to pleasure you to the fullest or you'll lose interest and move on,” Ruff continued. “So he selflessly goes down on you, seduces you, and makes sure you always get yours- _multiple times_ , might I add, so you'll have a reason to stay with him.”

Astrid balked. “That's not-!”

“Oh, but it is.”

“No, it's a give and take, I _always_ make sure we're even-”

“Because you're not a shitty person, Astrid, just short sighted sometimes. Do you know how many dudes I've been with who just got theirs and that's it? Wham bam thank you ma'am and how you gettin' home?”

Astrid made a face. “Why would you put up with that? That's really terrible.”

Ruff sighed with a weary shrug. “I have my own reasons for my actions. But you're right, it is terrible. That's why I gave Snot a chance. Do you really think if he were as shallow as everyone thinks he is that I would stick around? His self-esteem isn't much higher than Hiccup's and he's just as attentive in the bedroom department. I've put in way too much effort training that boy to let it go now. Just because someone is hot doesn't mean they're good in bed. Dude has a pretty face but no moves? Thumbs down. Trust me, I've wasted enough time on users, abusers, and assholes. Being with Snot has been a nice change.”

Astrid waved her hands with a growl. “Okay, fine, _fine_. I misjudged Snot then, apparently he's not as vapid as I thought. But you can't deny Snot did some really mean things to Hiccup. He _bullied_ him.”

Ruff sighed. “Oh, you sweet summer child.”

“Don't you sweet summer child me! I'm right, Snot bullied Hiccup a lot! He's told me the stories!”

“And why do you think Snot bullied Hiccup, Astrid?” Ruff asked in a patient but somewhat patronizing tone.

“Because Snot can be a dick.”

“No. Because Snot was feeling powerless. His home life isn't great, and once again, self-esteem is shot. He saw an opportunity to regain that feeling of power and he took it. Unfortunately at Hiccup's expense, but it wasn't out of pure malice alone. Snot cares about his cousin a lot.”

“I guess I get what you're saying,” Astrid said reluctantly. “But Snot sure has a strange way of showing it if that's true.”

“It is true,” Ruff insisted, impatient. “Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be in your funny little black and white world.”

“Hey!”

Ruff nonchalantly inspected her nails. “Did Hiccup happen to mention a black eye Thomas mysteriously came down with after that whole deal?”

“Yeah, he did actually, but he didn't know who did it or why.”

“Who do you think gave Thomas that shiner?”

Astrid's mouth dropped open. “Not... Snot did that?”

“Sure did. Punched Thomas right in the face after the Berk East/West football game. You should've seen how angry and upset he was when he heard what happened to Hiccup. He was _pissed_. Said no one treats his family that way, especially his defenseless cousin, who had recently gone through a traumatic accident.”

“I... had no idea...”

“No, you didn't. But that's okay, you're learning now. You need to appreciate all Hiccup's done for you-- you gave him a chance and expanded your horizons. He's made you a better person and in return you provided the exact kind of support he needed. I'm no expert, but isn't that what good relationships are all about?”

A smile broke out onto Astrid's face. “Yeah. Damn, Ruff. You're really putting that Psychology major to good use... You're right. You're always right.”

“No, I'm not. I'm just observant in this case. Next time you see Snot, give him a break, okay?”

“I will. I... you're right about that too. I was just annoyed with him and I didn't ever think about why he was acting that way. It makes a lot of sense, now that you've explained it. That was... that was some truth bomb,” Astrid said sheepishly. “But I guess I needed to hear it. Thanks, Ruff.” She put her arm around Ruff's shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

Ruff patted her with a grin. “What are besties for.”

“So... all this talk about Snot. When are you gonna lock that down? If he's so much better than all those randos, why don't you take a chance on him, a real one? I promise it's not that scary, Ruff. I think you'd really like being in a relationship if you tried it.”

Ruff shrugged nonchalantly. “Hmm... about that. Maybe you weren't the only one who worked things out last night.”

Astrid's face lit up. “Ahh! Ruff seriously?!”

She grinned. “Seriously.”

“So you're actually dating? Like for real, no more 'just friends with benefits?'”

“No more friends with benefits,” Ruff confirmed.

“Wow, look at you. I never thought I'd see the day.”

“Must be something about those Haddock and Jorgenson boys, huh?” Ruff joked.

“Really though! I never thought we'd end up dating cousins. Guess we're all stuck with each other huh?”

“Hmm,” Ruff smiled. “Guess that's not so bad.”

ooo

“Thanks again for letting us stay here, Ruff.” Snot kicked the door open with his foot, a glass terrarium occupying his arms.

“No problem,” she said. “Just keep Hookfang in his tank and we'll be all good.”

“Awww, Hookfang is a big sweetie though, yes he is,” Snot cooed, setting the tank on the counter.

“Right...” Ruff wrinkled her nose, placing Barf and Belch's traveling tank next to Hookfang. “Astrid is not a fan of spiders as big as your hand, so maybe don't let her know Hookfang is her new roommate.”

“Hey, it's not our fault the neighbors are disgusting and the whole floor of the complex needed to be fumigated,” Tuff said, carrying in the bearded dragons' main terrarium.

“Uh huh... and you're absolutely positive the pile of pizza boxes and beer cans littering every surface of your apartment had nothing to do with it?” Ruff raised her eyebrow skeptically.

“I'm absolutely sure,” Tuff said. “Even roaches won't go near Snot's gym socks.”

“Really? You know I'm the only one who does laundry around here and I'm pretty sure your fuckin' skidmarks were an even bigger deterrent, just saying,” Snot shot back.

“Oh my God, boys,” Ruff groaned. “If you're both staying here you need to stop all this.”

Tuff scoffed and glanced around. “So, I'm assuming you two are sharing a bed, since you're fucking my sister- way to break the bro code, by the way. Do I get the other room?”

“Ha! Um, no,” Ruff said. “I kinda... haven't run this by Astrid yet... and I'm pretty sure she'd have a conniption fit if she found out you were sleeping in her bed. Lo siento, mi hermano, but you get the couch.”

“What, seriously? Hasn't she been spending all her time at Hiccup's place though? We can just wash the sheets, she'll never even know.”

“You can't smoke pot in her room, Tuff,” Ruff said, rolling her eyes. “She will kill you. And then she'll kill me for letting you.”

“Uuuugghhh, I'm regretting this decision already,” Tuff complained, pacing around the living room. “It's too constricting in here. I need to be free, the walls are closing in on me. Is it dark in here? I feel like it's dark in here.”

“Maybe a frat house will take you in. One of those ones that constantly have people filtering in and out from one party to the next. I bet they won't even notice you're technically squatting,” Ruff suggested.

Tuff brightened. “Oooh, hey that's a good idea. I like the things that generally take place in frat houses.”

“Right, who doesn't like constant parties, beer, sex, questionable choices and recreational drugs,” Snot supplied encouragingly.

“You are right, my friends. I can either sleep on the couch here, where I am restricted from recreational drugs and parties, or I can go sleep on a couch in a frat house, with plenty of those other things, and I don't have to listen to you two fuck. Yeah, I've made my decision. Take care of Barf and Belch for me, sis. Peace out.”

Tuff waved and left.

“Sweet,” Snot said, pumping his fist. “Now that he's gone, we can have all the boyfriend and girlfriend sex we want.”

Ruff snorted. “You don't have to define sex between us, Snot. It's just sex.”

Snot paused. He would've brushed off the comment, but something in Ruff's tone bothered him and he couldn't ignore it. “Seriously? That's your trigger, you can't handle a little label? I thought we talked about this. We're actually dating now, so when we do the dance with no pants it's boyfriend and girlfriend sex.”

“I'm not the relationship type, remember? I thought I was once, but I'm not so you're just gonna have to cut me some slack.” Ruff busied her hands with arranging Barf and Belch's tank and the branches that shifted during transit.

“You thought you were once? What's that all about?”

“Oooh, yeah, let's not venture there today, okay?” Ruff made a kissy face at Barf and placed him in the terrarium.

“No, wait, this sounds like it needs venturing. Obviously I've upset you, so I need to know, Ruff. What's up with that?”

She sighed and set Belch into the tank with Barf. “If you _ever_ tell Astrid this, I will castrate you and force feed you your own balls.”

“Jesus, you don't have to go for the family jewels like that. I won't say anything,” Snot promised.

“Right. Well... so... I kinda.... had a thing. With Eret.”

Snot's eyebrows disappeared into his hair. “What?! At the... same time-”

“No,” Ruff said hurriedly. “Before he and Astrid got together. I thought... we had something special. It was like this fun secret, no one knew that we were hooking up. Punched the v-card, the whole deal... but I guess I just wasn't relationship material to him. Astrid started dating him Junior year and they seemed happy together, so what would I gain by telling her? It wouldn't have been anything good, so I let her have her relationship in ignorant bliss.”

“Ruff... that's...”

“Yeah, I know.” She shrugged.

“Oh man... is this why you didn't want to date me? I wasn't using you. I'm here because I actually care about you.”

“I know you care, Snot. All I'm saying is it's going to take me awhile to get used to it, so don't rush me. You think it was easy to watch you fawn all over Astrid? After I had Eret and watched her take him too?”

Snot's face fell. “Aw, Ruff. I'm so sorry... I didn't know. I am telling the truth though. I don't have feelings for Astrid anymore and I haven't for a long time. You don't have to worry-”

“I believe you, Snot. It's fine. Just give me time.”

“I can't believe the whole... Eret thing though. Why did you stay friends with Astrid after all that?”

“Because she didn't know and she would never do something like that on purpose. She's hot and she's likable, of course dudes are going to trip all over themselves for her. It's not her fault. She's a good friend, so I tried to be a good friend too.”

“The _best_ friend, Ruff. She has no idea about any of it, does she?”

“None. And like I said, tell her and you'll be missing more body parts than your cousin.”

Snot instinctively held a hand over the aforementioned family jewels. “Lips are sealed, promise. Ah, after this, um, enlightening conversation about your past, would you like to take this into the bedroom where we will proceed to have labeless sex?”

Ruff smiled. “I would like that very much... boyfriend.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you try to write a nice fluffy moment with your OTP but then they just start sassing each other... apparently Hiccup and Astrid can't resist the banter lol.   
> I have like, three paragraphs of Chapter 20 written, and a whole lot of plans with nothing else on paper yet. Have no idea how many chapters I'll end up writing and it's probably gonna take me forever to finish this, but hopefully I'll get there someday.   
> Also, last but not least, Sex Ed PSA: Please! don't be irresponsible-- always practice safe sex. Hiccup and Astrid were not being careful, but this is fiction. I know I can't control who reads this story and I know some readers are underage. Can't blame you, I read aaaalll the smut well before I started having sex because curiosity. All I'm saying is a little bit of precaution beforehand will spare you a whole lot of life altering consequences afterward. The actions of the characters within are not meant to be repeated in real life. End of PSA :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! Writing time has been a little sketch lately, but somehow in the 20 minutes I get to write in a week I managed to put this together. 
> 
> One thing I want to address, since there were some concerns raised about the content in the previous chapter (mostly over at ff.net, but I'm going to post it here too), is Snot's past treatment of Hiccup. I wish I had time to reply to reviews like I want to, but since I've been so busy lately I'm just going to mention it here. 
> 
> Originally I was going to edit Ruff's lines and I forgot. So let me clarify things- Ruff does not condone Snot's past treatment of Hiccup. She was explaining, not giving him a pass. But, I also need to clarify that Snot's bullying of Hiccup was nowhere near the amount or level of Thomas's. I'm talking mostly verbal teasing and maybe a noogie or two. Which, if Hiccup hadn't already been experiencing worse harassment from someone else, probably would've made him roll his eyes and sass his cousin right back. Since a more extreme form of bullying was present in his life, Snot's lighter version helped nothing and probably felt worse to him than it really was. Snot wasn't present during the moments Thomas was bullying Hiccup and couldn't possibly have known what Hiccup was truly going through. At least, not until the news broke, of course. And I already wrote about Snot's reaction to that a couple times, if you recall.
> 
> Ruff, however, was present for all Snot was going through with his father. Ruff as a character had inside knowledge that you as a reader did not, and therefore was in a position to understand why Snot behaved the way he did, even if she didn't think it was okay. I failed a bit in that scene, because I should've remembered to edit her lines and I did not. But oh well, I'm giving you the scoop here. Hope this explains where I was trying to go with this. 
> 
> Second note, I wrote something in this one for athingofvikings, which I will explain at the end of the chapter.

_-Hey_

… _Hey?_

_-What ya up to_

… _.Working??? Do you need something?_

_-Oh I need something alright. I need the d, Hiccup_

_Who is this?_

_-BAABBBEEE_

_I'm going to get in trouble if I keep looking at my phone_

_-Really? Gimme a sec, I'm gonna send you something ;)_

_Astrid, no! Not while I'm at work!_

_-Awww come on :( :( :(_

_Control yourself, woman_

_-I don't want to ;)_

_You're gonna get me fired_

_-Then you can just spend all your time with me! (in bed ;D)_

… _..... sigh_

_-See you when you get hoooome!!! :D_

ooo

Keys jangled in the lock. Astrid hid beside the door, lying in wait and attempting to stifle her giggles.

The door opened and Hiccup strode through, nonchalantly tossing his keys onto the kitchen counter like innocent and unsuspecting prey.

He bent over to remove his shoes. As he straightened, she pounced.

“Ah! What the fu-!” He whirled around to face her in surprise. “Astrid!”

She planted her hands on his chest and forcefully backed him toward the bedroom.

“What are you doing?! Astrid! Hey, come on-”

“Shhh.” She giggled as she shoved him into his room.

“I just got home, _jeez_ -”

“Uh huh. And I've been sitting here aaaaaall day all pent up, thinking about you.”

The back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress. She tossed him onto the bed with one hand on his sternum. She climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and working at the button on his jeans.

“Excuse me, I'm not responsible for your _girl thoughts_ ,” he teased.

She narrowed her eyes at him and pinned his wrists down, abandoning the button. “This is _all_ your fault. I tried to have some fun and you didn't take the bait. You are _horrible_ at sexting.”

“Really?! What did you expect?! I can't participate when I'm at work, cause you know, it's generally considered inappropriate to have an erection while trying to sell table saws and two by fours!”

Astrid laughed so hard tears formed at the corner of her eyes while Hiccup huffed in exasperation underneath her, squirming in her grasp.

She forgot his lanky body type was deceptively strong. He bucked his hips and tossed her to the side, playfully wrestling her underneath him until he was kneeling over her and holding her own wrists down.

Instead of dismay, she purred under him, an impish sparkle in her eyes. She leaned up for a kiss and nipped his bottom lip.

“Ah! What has gotten into you?!”

“Apparently _not you_. Like I said, I sat here all day waiting for you to come home. So, are you going to fuck me or not?”

His eyebrows raised into his hairline. “Astrid!”

“Come on, Hiccup,” she whined. “If you don't wanna do this just say no and let me take care of it myself then.”

He smirked at her pinched face, then leaned down and bit the side of her neck.

“Ahh!” she gasped, rolling her chest up against his.

“Better?” he mumbled into her skin.

“Yes,” she breathed. “More.”

It only took a split second and he was all in. His lips and teeth scraped against the sensitive skin of her neck and his hands tightened on her wrists. She urged him on, wrapping her legs around his waist and exposing more area of her throat for him.

He knelt up and gathered her wrists over her head into one of his hands, the other tugging the waistband of her leggings down. She raised her hips into the air to assist, letting him strip everything off her bottom half.

He caught her mouth up in a ferocious kiss, and her fingers started to tingle and numb in his grip. His other hand slid between her legs, slipping inside her with no resistance, her hips rising to meet him. He groaned against her lips as her slickness coated his fingers.

She rocked against his hand, lost in the current of euphoria, and she couldn't focus on anything except basic primal need.

He let go of her wrists to rake her shirt up to her chin, roping a hand behind her back to unclasp her bra. He pushed that up too and lowered his mouth, nipping hard with his teeth and she cried out, grasping his hair and clamping around his fingers.

She reached a hand down, struggling with the button on his jeans. He continued ravishing her chest with his mouth, and it became clear she couldn't release the button with the blissful distraction. He knelt up on his knees and an elbow, undoing the button himself with his other hand and tugging the zipper down. She shoved her hand into his boxers and his kissing became even more frenzied as he pulsed in her palm.

He pulled away from a kiss with a smack and she rolled to her side, fumbling in the nightstand drawer.

Her fingers shook as she ripped a packet open and sheathed him as quick as she could. She pushed his jeans down his thighs a bit more and awkwardly pulled her shirt and bra off, tossing it over the side of the bed.

He tugged her hips to his, sliding her down the bed, and after a slight adjustment of position, speared her without any preamble. She cried out in pleasure and scrambled for purchase with her heels dug into the mattress. He gripped underneath her lower back and started in with a fast and forceful rhythm that slated her thirst and hit the perfect notes. He pulled his shirt up a bit and his teeth skimmed against her collarbone.

Astrid couldn't control the noise that poured from the back of her throat; she felt high and disconnected from reality, wrapped up in the sensation of his body filling hers in a rapid pace, satiating her afternoon of lustful pining.

In one smooth motion, he pulled all the way out and flipped her onto her stomach. She muffled a surprised exclamation into a pillow as he spread her thighs apart with his knees and entered again, laying over her back. She mewled and clutched the pillow, delighted at the new angle and the sensations that came with it.

He slung her sweaty hair to the side and bit her shoulder, while sliding his hand underneath her to provide a little manual stimulation. It took barely more than a few rough swipes of his fingers and she came to pieces on him, shuddering underneath him.

Her trembling calmed and she perked her bottom for him as he grabbed her hips and found his own completion with a few more long strokes. He pushed deeply and lingered one last time, then flopped on top of her.

Astrid's fingers twitched and her chest heaved in time with Hiccup's out of breath panting. The contented cool down took longer than usual, both of them worn out from the vigorous session.

Hiccup carefully glided out and rolled onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. Astrid expended the energy to nudge him and place a kiss on his shoulder. He smiled and gave her an air kiss.

“Are you happy now? All your womanly urges satisfied?”

She laughed. “They are, thank you very much kind sir.”

“You are most welcome, milady. I offer the use of my services anytime.”

“I plan to take you up on that, often.” She rolled onto her side and propped her head up in her hand with an amused grin. “So, I didn't think you had that in you, Haddock. Where did all that feisty come from?”

He ducked his head, embarrassed. “Ah... I don't know. Couldn't resist your feminine wiles or something.”

She shimmied her shoulders. “Well I like it. Keeps things interesting.”

He laughed and gave her a peck on the lips. “I doubt things will ever get boring with you around.”

ooo

Astrid turned her key in the door lock, interrupting her progress with a yelp and a giggle. She spun around to glare at Hiccup.

“Babe,” she admonished.

“What?” Hiccup said, innocent.

“You pinched my butt, that's what.”

“That was not me, milady.”

“Oh, really? So it was some other guy standing behind me in the hallway?”

“Appears that way, yes.”

“And you didn't defend my honor?”

He snorted. “You can defend your own honor, I've been on the receiving end of your playful right hooks.”

“True.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I'm going to open the door now.”

“You do that.” He nodded.

She tried the door handle when she felt another pinch. “Hiccup!”

“What! That guy was back again? Darn it, just missed him.”

“I think he's right here,” Astrid teased, poking him in the stomach. He laughed and batted her hands away.

The two entered Astrid's apartment, playfully swatting at each other.

Ruff and Snot looked up from the couch, where she curled up under his arm while they watched a movie.

Hiccup sobered at the sight of his cousin and Astrid's smile waned.

“Hey guys,” Ruff said, noticing the tension in the room. “Astrid, just so you're aware, Snot's staying here a couple days while his apartment is being fumigated. We managed to get Tuff to crash elsewhere, so you're welcome.”

“Oh, yeah that's fine,” Astrid said, breezing through to her room. “We're just here to feed and play with Stormfly.”

Hiccup stayed by the door, hunching his shoulders with his hands in his pockets. His gaze wandered around, avoiding meeting anyone's eyes.

Ruff nudged Snot and pointed toward Hiccup. She paused the movie.

“Oh, hey ah... Hiccup,” Snot said.

Hiccup startled and darted his eyes at his cousin before looking down again.

“Look man, I'm sorry about what happened the other day. I was being a dick and you didn't deserve that.”

Hiccup's eyebrows rose. “Oh... um. Thanks.”

Snot gave him a nod of solidarity.

Astrid peeked out the door. “Snot, did you just apologize to Hiccup?”

Snot shrugged. “Yeah. So?”

Astrid looked at Ruff, who nodded back at her. “Well, thanks. That was nice of you.”

“What I said was uncalled for,” Snot said. “Both of you deserve an apology, really. I said some things I shouldn't have to you too, Astrid. So, sorry.”

“Okay, this is so weird,” Hiccup mumbled, rubbing a hand on his forehead.

“What, Snot actually apologizing?” Astrid said with a smile.

“Yeah, I dunno, sorry, I just...wasn't expecting it.”

The smile slipped off Astrid's face into concern.

“That's fair,” Snot said. “Never gave you a reason to expect it.”

“Right...” Hiccup ran his fingers through his hair, looking like he'd flee any second.

“Snot, maybe you should mention what else you're sorry for,” Ruff said, jumping in.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah. I'm sorry about all the... you know, stuff I did to you when we were kids. Shouldn't have treated you that way. It was a dick thing to do. So, you know. Sorry. Again.” Snot's delivery was awkward, but genuine.

Hiccup's hand slowly dropped from his hair. “Really?”

“Well, yeah of course!” Snot said. “I was a jerk as a kid and you were an easy target. I didn't think about how you felt, should've realized what it did to you. Especially after all that stuff went down.”

Hiccup looked away, mouth set in a grim line and Astrid clasped her hands and worried her bottom lip.

Ruff sensed the mood deteriorating and interjected. “Hiccup, do you remember the black eye?”

Hiccup's head shot up. “Yeah...”

Ruff looked at Snot pointedly.

Hiccup followed her nod and his mouth dropped open. “Wha- really?”

“Yeah, well I dunno,” Snot said defensively, crossing his arms. “I wasn't gonna stand for him treating my cousin that way. We're family, you know? What he did...” Snot trailed off with an angry growl. “That fucker had it coming.”

Hiccup could only stare with an astonished look on his face.

“Hiccup?” Astrid said softly.

“I... yeah, I... wow. Thank- thank you,” he stuttered. “I didn't know...”

“Hey, like I said, I never meant to really hurt you, cuz. I looked out for you.”

“Right...”

“I mean, I shouldn't have teased you so much. I know that now. It's not an excuse, but I was... you know I was going through a really bad time with my dad, and... well yeah.” Snot closed his mouth, not volunteering more information.

“Know the feeling,” Hiccup said with a rueful smile that served as an olive branch.

A corner of Snot's mouth turned up in response. “Right. I guess everyone's got daddy issues.”

Hiccup snorted.

Snot shook his head. “You know... speaking of things that aren't excuses... and not that I want to dredge all this up, but it's not a surprise that asshole was so messed up. His dad was a piece of work. Made mine look like father of the year. I was in Pop Warner with him and his dad coached. He didn't seem to realize how, like, manipulative that guy was. Everyone on the team could see it, but he was just blind to the whole thing, like he thought 'that's how dads are' or something. I mean, I _knew_ my dad pulled shit and other people's parents aren't like that, and I still couldn't please him. But Thomas didn't seem to realize that his dad was a _raging_ asshole and how fucked up it all was. I just remember thinking, if that's the way he treats his son in public, what the fuck is going on at home?”

“Some people are chained to the cycle of abuse,” Ruff said solemnly. “It's tragic more than anything, and innocent people pay the price.”

Hiccup's posture remained stiff, defensive and brooding. Astrid crossed the room to stand by him with Stormfly perched on her shoulder. Stormfly chirped happily, oblivious to the somber mood, and hopped up into Hiccup's hair to preen her feathers.

“Well I'm not going to be part of some shitty cycle,” Snot said decisively. “So I'm righting some past wrongs. Hiccup, dude, sorry. Again, or whatever. We ah, we good?”

Hiccup took a moment to react, but a genuine small smile graced his face. “Yeah... yeah we're good.”

“Ah, boys that was wonderful!” Ruff stood, slow clapping it out. “Look at all of you discussing your feelings!”

Hiccup blushed and turned away. Stormfly flapped a wing as she almost lost her balance.

Snot scoffed. “Well that's done. Can we get back to the movie now?”

“I'm so proud of you two.” Ruff sniffled and wiped away a pretend tear.

“Didn't we just establish mocking isn't nice,” Snot pouted.

Astrid furrowed her brows, distracted. “Ruff, what the hell does your shirt say?”

“Oh! You like it?” She tugged on the hem and proudly showed off the screenprint. “I bought about five of these from Walmart before someone complains and they pull them from the shelves.”

Hiccup squinted as he read it. “Nothing says 'I love you' quite like fisting... what the? ...Oh wow, it even has a graphic of a clenched fist.” He shook his head in amusement. “That is something.”

“You would buy that shirt,” Astrid laughed. “How the hell did that make it past an entire design and marketing department?”

“I like to think some cheeky graphic designer, a true kindred spirit, made this shirt and spun some bullshit to a bunch of rich ass wrinkly old white men in charge that 'fisting' means 'fist bump.' And so it sailed right past the people who could put a stop to it, and everyone else laughed at the inside joke and let it ride into production, where it reached my waiting and eager hands. Want one?”

“Yes,” Hiccup nodded.

Astrid's eyebrows rose. “Seriously?!”

“Well I'm not gonna wear it! But it's kind of too awesome to not own one.”

“Good lord,” Astrid scoffed. “Next you're gonna want her naked dude coffee mug.”

“Naked dude coffee mug?” Hiccup said, confused.

“Hey can we not bring up Chad, please? Thank you,” Snot grumbled.

“...Chad?”

“Snot's jealous, you see.” Ruff winked.

“I'm not _jealous_ of a coffee mug!”

“Okay, I feel out of the loop here,” Hiccup said. “Who the hell is Chad?”

“Snot's rival for my morning affections,” Ruff said gleefully.

“A picture on a ceramic coffee mug is not my fucking rival!” Snot protested.

“What the hell is going on?” Hiccup exclaimed.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Astrid huffed. She crossed to the kitchen cabinets, dug through one and pulled out a coffee mug. “Ruff found this at some weird old thrift store when she was going through her Macklemore phase.” She thrust the cup into Hiccup's hands.

“Okay... all I see is some ripped topless guy with black pants leaning against a post.”

“Yep. Ruff calls him Chad. Go run him under hot water,” Astrid said, smirking.

“What?”

“Just do it.” She shooed him. Ruff bounced and clapped her hands while Snot pouted.

Hiccup looked entirely unconvinced as he turned on the hot tap water and put the mug underneath the stream. Almost instantaneously the black pants disappeared.

“OH. Wow, that... that is a penis. Aaaand not a small one. I'm... actually impressed with the anatomical accuracy.”

Ruff doubled over laughing and Astrid giggled into her hands.

Snot threw his hands up in exasperation. “You're just encouraging them, cuz.”

“Not trying to. But now I see why you're jealous of a coffee mug.” Hiccup cracked a grin.

“Hey! _No_! Don't you even start, Hiccup!” Snot pointed a threatening finger at him.

“Five to six inches is average and nothing to be ashamed of, Snot.”

“Ha, um no. I'll have you know there is nothing _average_ about me-”

“Oh! Whoa whoa okay nope, nope, _don't_ need to know!” Astrid cried, frantically waving her hands.

“Are you not even going to defend me?” Snot whined at Ruff.

“Mmm, I could, but watching your weak ass attempt to defend yourself and fail is way more entertaining.”

Snot crossed his arms grumpily. “I _hate_ my friends.”

“Okay, boys, boys, I know how we can settle this,” Ruff said seriously, placating them with outstretched hands and waiting until she had their attention. “Both of you just whip them out right now and we can compare-”

“And I'm out,” Hiccup said, wheeling around for the door. Stormfly squawked in indignation.

“Ruff, what the fuck?!” Snot cried.

“It's just a suggestion! What?” Ruff said.

Astrid groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Well, at least things were back to normal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, athingofvikings messaged me and showed me the shirt and the coffee cup, and was like “Walls Ruff would so own these” and I laughed and laughed and agreed. So I promised to work it into the story because it was too perfect. If you want to see said infamous shirt and coffee mug, you can message me on tumblr (I'm katergator84) and I can show you the posts :) Um warning though, the coffee mug is, naturally, very nsfw XD
> 
> Next chapter is Christmas, which would be perfect timing for the season if I can manage to get it posted! I only have a little bit written on it though and my track record isn't great, so you know... might get a Christmas chapter in March but hey! I'll do my best. 
> 
> As always, much thanks and appreciation from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reviews, bookmarks, and kudos this story!


End file.
